Music room three –
"...it's quiet."
"... Very quiet." Haruhi agreed.
"Boring!" Chorused the twins.
The room lapsed into silence, bar the annoying tap of Kyouya's fingers breezing across the buttons of a calculator.
The king shifted a nervous glance towards him. "Mummy, dear... What exactly are you doing?"
"Working out how much our popularity has dropped."
"... Is it a lot?"
"Yes."
"A very lot?"
"Yes."
"A very, very lot?"
"Yes." Annoyance had seeped into Kyouya's tone and if Tamaki had been a tad more observant he would have noticed his left eye brow twitching. Instead Tamaki pursed his lips and placed a finger to his mouth.
"A very, very, very --."
"Yes. A very, very, very, very, very lot." Kyouya riffled through the stack of papers beside him and tossed a handful at Tamaki.
Haruhi peered over the blond king's shoulders and was taken aback to see that it was a clear record of everyone who came in. There had been no one for nearly a week, not that it wasn't a relief to have a little respite.
"That can't be good." Haruhi muttered, her mind on her debt.
"Maybe Haruhi's getting fat?" The twins suggested in unison. The response was predictable.
"The only way to know for sure is to see her in a bathing suit!"Tamaki proclaimed, sinking into another one of his fantasies.
"Sexual harassment!" The twins said as one, pointed an accusing finger.
"I think it's more to do with the fact Hunny-Senpai and Mori-Senpai are away." The shadow king said reasonably. "And there's only way one to combat that."
"Kidnap them and bring them back?" Suggested Hikaru while Kauru nodded in fervently agreement.
"No. Recruitment." Kyouya's lenses flashed as he adjusted his glasses.
Tamaki was on his feet in an instance. "Now who should have the honour of scouting out talent among commoners and the privilege alike? Somebody noble, no doubt! Somebody who is dedicated enough to search the vast and cruel seas of the Atlantic, the voids of space! If it costs me my life, I will --."
"—we'll do it!" Hikaru and Kauru offered raising their hands.
"... And I will swear on my life-- WHAT!?" Tamaki broke from his noble fantasy and stared at the twins in pure flabbergast.
"It's decided then. The duty of finding new hosts shall be entrusted to the twins." Kyouya said easily, not looking up from his calculator.
The twins shot the distraught king a devious smirk. "Sorry boss, first in best dressed. That's what they say right?"
The twins retreated to discus 'tactics'. Haruhi had an uneasy feeling in her stomach that warned her things were not going to go well.
***
Haruhi Suzimiya stared proudly at her hand made bunny costume. Mikuru crossed her arms over her chest and sniffled as she attempted to keep the tears from streaming down her face. She hated it when Haruhi did things like this. It was humiliating.
"Ready Mikuru?" Haruhi asked, one hand on her hip as she threw the battered baseball in the air before catching it again, looking completely at ease in her own light brown bunny suit, paying no heed to the massive amount of cleavage it showed.
Mikuru tried to keep her grip the hard baseball bat but it slipped from her hands and fell to the ground. She blushed as she bent over to pick it up slowly much to the favour of male bystanders.
"Come on, Mikuru we don't have all day! The school only leant us this field for an hour or so. How often do you get to play baseball in a rich place?" Haruhi said while taping her foot impatiently. Although, playing baseball in bunny suits on a cloudy day in a place you never thought you'd be, could happen surprisingly often around Haruhi Suzimiya.
Haruhi grinned. "Get ready Mikuru!" She shouted winding her arm up and throwing the ball with all her might at Mikuru.
***
"Is the chimney in position?" Hikaru asked seriously, an expensive radio pressed to one hand and binoculars' pressed firmly against his eyes in the other, watching with quiet the air of a brewing conspiracy as the girls from the commoner's school down town started gearing up for their two man baseball game.
'Affirmative. It's right where we need it to be." Haruhi's slightly bewildered voice crackled back over the radio. "Remind me, why are we erecting a chimney on our roof again?"
"Recruiting." Said Kaoru from beside his twin.
"This is more like conscription." Haruhi accused via the radio.
"Conscription is plan B." Tamaki's voice disagreed.
"Actually it's plan C." Kyouya's voice joined the conversation, his own radio held loosely in hand as he observed the goings on from where he stood, acting the spectator at the baseball game.
"What's plan B, then?" Tamaki inquired.
"You don't want to know." It was eerie and sort of disturbing that the twins managed to talk in unison through separate radios when the radios could only receive one transmission at a time.
Ouran's only female host shook her head slightly but climbed down the rope ladder dangling from the newly built chimney that now balanced awkwardly just above their music room.
"Just watch." Tamaki murmured into the mouthpiece, shielding his eyes from the blazing sun as the small brunette in the light brown bunny suits threw the baseball at her obviously panicked companion.
***
Haruhi raised the ball in her hand in something akin to slow motion. Her heart skipped a beat. There was no way she would be able to hit that spinning ball of doom unless she wished to send her self to the grave prematurely.
Just before the ball of death left Haruhi's hand, she piped up at Mikuru "Hey Mikuru! That's great! Don't touch your leotard! We can see more than your cleavage there!"
Mikuru's face went from stark white to beet red in 0.01 seconds. She screamed and flung her arms over her chest for coverage much faster then should have been possible. The bat, still clutched tightly in her hand collided with the ball and the crowd watched in awe as the ball was knocked out of the baseball diamond with impossible force.
Kyouya, standing amongst the crowds watching the game smirked with out even looking up from his notebook. "Just as I calculated. Being a Haruhi Suzumiya fan girl pays off."
There was a deafening crack as the ball flew threw the newly erected chimney, sending bricks flying everywhere in the crowd, possibly causing serious injury. But the host club didn't care. It had gone just as planned.
Haruhi was just 'congratulating' Mikuru on her splendid hit when the twins sidled up to her.
"That was a brand new chimney. It cost nearly 1, 000, 000 yen. You're going to have to pay for that." They said together. Mikuru blanched and stopped struggling as Haruhi hugged her tightly.
Even that had caught Haruhi's attention. A devious smirk spread across her face. She shoved the scantly clad Mikuru at them.
"I'll trade you this. You know, for compensation." She said, flipping her hair in a very business like manner.
Karou caught and steadied her.
"We know how you can compensate us." They said together.
"SEXUAL HARRASMENT!" Haruhi shouted loudly with out an ounce of shame. But for once her usual tricks would do her no good. It was the twin's territory. Not hers.
A/N: This is a collab between Elvenheart993, Nayukuo and KazenoTsubasa!
Kaze: "Erected. Hehehehe…"
Nayukuo: "It took them a long time to talk me into this…"
Kaze: Bored at school I guess, heh ^^
Nayukuo: Always bored at school