Except In Dreams
Chapter I - Dreams and Fairytales
The night was swift and full of darkness. Wind rattled against the windows and a shiver crawled up the spine of a little blond boy, standing out on tiptoe, staring wide-eyed outside. It was shortly after twilight and the sky never looked as intimidating to little Scorpius Greengrass as it did now. The sun was long gone, but a deep, deep blue light was still lingering over the horizon, illuminating the moving clouds.
It seemed to Scorpius shadows lurked and stalked all over the vast green grounds below. During the day, the garden represented a playground for him, full of possibilities only a child's mind could imagine. Now, it scared him, but he wouldn't look away, his look transfixed on the window, his small, thin lips shaping a small 'o'.
Suddenly, the boy registered a startling sound coming from the door and he glanced over his shoulder furtively. Immediately, he let out the smallest sigh of relief and allowed himself a crooked smile. His father was standing in the doorway, dressed in a suit, leaning against the doorway and smiling down at him. His thick red hair fell down to his blue eyes and Scorpius felt somewhat safe.
"Shouldn't you be in bed?" his father asked, reaching Scorpius in a few swift strides across the room and scooping him up into his arms. Scorpius shrieked with delight as he was turned upside down and thrown into the air. Then he slowly lowered them into the bed and Scorpius effortlessly jumped from his arms into the heap of his covers. "You know the rules, it's important to your mum that you get enough sleep," he said, tucking the covers around Scorpius gingerly.
"I know, dad, but I'm not tired," he argued with a groan.
"And yet you always fall asleep in an instant when your mother starts telling you a story," he said pointedly.
"That's because her stories are boring. You never tell me stories, tell me a story, dad."
Ron considered him for a moment, wondering about children's stories he could tell him. Story-telling was never his thing, but when he spotted the look on Scorpius's face, warmth spread through him, pushing away his uneasiness.
"I don't know much about stories, but I had an interesting dream the other night, wanna hear about it?"
Scorpius nodded meekly, peeking from behind the cover. "Was it a nightmare?"
"Not really, no," laughed Ron and cleared his throat. It was a strange dream, but interesting and with some details maybe he could turn it into a nice, kid-friendly story. "There was once this castle, an amazing, magical castle. In this castle lived boys and girls and men and women and they were all wizards!"
"But daddy, that's Hogwarts."
"Just keep listening! In this castle there also lived a boy. The boy then met a girl, she had crazy bushy brown hair and she was very smart. She knew much about magic, things the boy didn't know. Together they combined their powers and saved the magical castle from many dangers."
"What dangers?" interrupted Scorpius.
"Well, dangers, Scorp, like...dragons and snakes!"
"Snakes aren't dangerous," Scorpius retorted sceptically.
"This was a big snake, as tall as the stables! It was a basilisk!"
Scorpius gasped. Even for his age, he already liked books and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was his favourite book because of all the pictures.
Ron smiled smugly at the boy and continued, "Now are you paying attention? Good. The boy and girl slayed the basilisk together, and saved the castle. They became very close friends and had many more daring adventures!"
After a pause, Scorpius furrowed his eyebrows up at Ron. "Is that all?" he asked with disappointment.
Ron hesitated. More vivid images had started drift across his mind, things he saw and remembered from his dreams. "The boy was praised as a hero, he gained wealth and glory, but he knew he could never have achieved it without the help of the brown-haired girl," he said quietly, his voice trailing off. Suddenly he felt like he was faraway from the cosy attic bedroom. "He didn't see her for a long time, he lost her, and he felt an empty ache inside him. Suddenly, all he wanted before didn't mean much to him."
Ron stopped. He felt that whatever he was saying not only made sense, he shouldn't be telling it to Scorpius.
"Did he find and marry the girl?" Scorpius asked quickly, oddly still interested in the nonsense Ron was telling him. Ron didn't know what to say, and he felt silly for recounting his incomprehensible dream to a child. To save him from answering, a quiet amused laugh came from the doorway. Both Ron and Scorpius looked up to see Astoria standing there, her arms crossed and a glowing smile on her red lips. She was wearing a white gown, her blond wavy hair cascading down along her back.
She joined them and sat at the other end of Scorpius' bed.
"No, darling, the boy hero never met the girl again. He tried to find her at first, but she was gone."
"But-" Scorpius began protesting, but his mother put a finger to his lips, her eyes darting to Ron gently.
"The boy hero was sad at first, but what he didn't know that someone else heard about his great deeds of courage and loyalty and kindness. It was a beautiful princess that lived in a castle of her own. She grew to love this man; she loved him truly and would not forget him as easily. They got married and the boy became king and they lived happily ever after."
In the silence that followed, Astoria found Ron's hand and squeezed it. Ron returned the squeeze with a smile, but only halfheartedly. An odd emptiness overcame him and he didn't have the slightest inclination as to why. He almost felt annoyed with Astoria finishing the story for him, but that was silly he told himself quickly.
Scorpius rolled his eyes again and yawned.
"Well it was a lousy story, anyway. Only about marriage and love and stuff and nothing happened." He rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly.
"Good night, love," Astoria said gently, but firmly, standing up. Ron lingered above the boy a moment, realizing his little hand was curled around the sleeve of his suit. He bent down to plant a small kiss on the boy's forehead, noting his drooping eyes. Quietly he joined Astoria in the doorway and with a flick of his wand the light in the room went out.
In the hall, Astoria closed the door quietly and slid her arm around Ron's neck, kissing him on the lips. As much as Ron wanted to kiss her back, he broke away and gave her a quizzical look.
"Why didn't you let me finish the story?" he asked with a grin, his hands on her hips.
"Because you're rubbish at it," she laughed, stroking the back of his neck and edging closer to him.
"No, really, I was on fire. I had this great, classic happy ending-"
"Wasn't this a happy ending? Your hero married a princess," she said, "that is the classic reward. Maybe I'm just a bit more traditional when it comes to story-telling, sorry."
Ron stared at her for a moment. The irritation concealed behind her innocent smile startling him. But he soon shook his head, just as he always did when odd, confusing thoughts came out of nowhere. His head began to hurt and he frowned.
"Right, your headaches again. I brewed you your potion, let's go." Astoria took his hand and led him down the hallway onto a grand staircase. They went down into a spacey, elegant entrance hall with marble floors and large windows reaching from the floor nearly to the ceiling. The darkness outside had settled in completely, and as Astoria crossed the room she flicked her wand and a large number of candles rose into the air and lit themselves.
She walked to an ornate cabinet and unlocked it. Outside from it she took a thin phial with pearly white liquid inside. She brought it to the table laden with flowers in the middle of the room and bent over it with her wand. Her golden hair fell down over her shoulder, obscuring the light of the candles like a curtain. She whispered a few incantations above the phial.
"Here, my love," she said tenderly, handing him the potion. He took the phial from Astoria as always, drowning it one gulp. Immediately the pain in his head eased, being replaced by a blissful feeling of relax and peace. He looked at his wife, grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. Cupping her face, Ron kissed her. She swayed under his touch, embracing him with an urge that he loved to feel.
With a breathy laugh Astoria broke away, her face bearing a red tint. "We'll be late for the party," she said with a smile. Ron nodded and together they interlinked their arms and within the next second disappeared on the spot.
Ron made his way through the freshly-mown grass. He was barefoot and the grass blades tickled his toes. His heart was beating expectantly. Every time he trudged up this little hill, up to the beech tree with the crocheted blanket under it, he was wondering whether she would be there. This dreaming world had proven to be fleeting before, there could come a day she wouldn't appear. That thought slightly worried him.
Sure enough, she was there, sitting cross-legged and reading a book, but it seemed like she wasn't really paying attention to it. Her brown eyes were unfocused, her thick curly hair tied into a ponytail, loose strands falling into her face.
"Hey," he said casually, sitting down opposite her. Her head snapped up and she shut the book instantly. It always puzzled him how her eyes lit up at the sight of him. He was flattered and flabbergasted at the same time.
"Good to see you again," she breathed, giving him a weak smile. The usual silence followed, in which they watched the world under them, shaping and reshaping itself into rolling hills and small purple mountains that swayed in the wind like waves of the ocean. "I miss the sea," she said after a while, leaning back against the tree and glancing at him.
"The sea scares me. I fear drowning. I drowned once, I think. It was very strange, and it hurt like hell, I thought my lungs would explode."
Sadness settled over her face as he said this. She looked almost close to crying. Ron was always perplexed how the most random things he mentioned could make her upset. Sighing, she took a curl of her hair and twirled it in her fingers, looking back at the scenery before them. Birds flew overhead, flapping their great long wings gingerly, making the sun rays come down in cascades upon them. "But you used to love spending time at Shell Cottage."
Ron didn't know what Shell Cottage was. There were all kinds of things this woman talked to him about, which he couldn't understand. He liked to listen to her talk, though. He had the feeling maybe she was just like him, lost and seeking someone to talk to, trapped in this ethereal dream. Sometimes Ron told himself she pretended he was someone else she knew. He didn't mind; he liked being that someone. He talked to her of things from his life, too, and she always seemed genuinely interested, asking him all sorts of questions.
He had never talked about Astoria and Scorpius, however.
"Remember Dobby?" she asked after a while, a warm smile creeping to her lips.
"Sorry, but no," he said guiltily. He felt like he should've had remembered.
"He was a house-elf, and he died for us. We dug a grave for him."
"That's nice."
"Are you happy where you are?" The question came abruptly, but it didn't surprise him. She usually asked about him and how he was. It touched him somewhere deep down each time. For some reason, she seemed to care about his happiness, and wanted him safe and sound.
"I guess. It's okay." The words felt strange rolling off his tongue, hanging in the air. "It's easier now, things are slowly falling into place. I feel more like myself every day. I started working again and most of my injuries are really healing now." He noticed a flicker of sorrow pass through her deep eyes, but it was instantly gone and she gave him a glowing smile.
"I'm glad."
"Are you okay?"
"No, but I will be, eventually. Hugo makes me stronger. And Rose too. I wish you could see them."
"I wish that too." Ron didn't know why he had said that, it came out of him spontaneously, but he felt like he had truly meant it. They were quiet for the rest of their stay, he leaning up against the tree beside her. They didn't touch. She looked like she wanted to, but decided against it. After a while, Ron felt he was slipping away, the surroundings slowly fading. He was waking up, or visiting another dream. He longed to linger just a moment, but these were not his rules.
He gave her a polite wave, but she never saw it, for she was gone, and Ron felt the sweet blackness of slumber overcome him.
Ron opened his eyes slowly, blinking in the dim light. Astoria stirred beside him and he looked up to see her awake, watching him.
"Hullo," he mumbled. Smiling, she snuggled close to him and rested her head atop his chest.
"Did you dream of me?"
"What? Why?"
"I could tell you were dreaming. You looked so…happy."
"Yes, I dreamed of you."
He was a liar.
Author's Note: Hello and welcome to the story. Thank you for reading. this story has been brewing in my mind for several years now, and I feel like the time has come to write it. If by any chance you read my other story, Memory Dust, you will notice that I have a thing for memory loss. Yep, I'm a bit obsessed about that topic, what can I do. Thanks again and please review.