AU. Teacher/Student. Swan Queen Week. I just had to.
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"I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls."
ANÏS NIN
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Regina Mills knew the building like the back of her hand. She had grown accustomed to first due to the classes she had attended and then to the classes she had found herself teaching not even a six months after finishing her Master's of Arts. She had been approached by the department on her way out of campus after presenting her thesis .
Today, five years later, she was yet again walking down the corridor that lead to the classroom that had become more like a second home than anything else. She opened the door and took in the dark and silent room that would soon be filled with students that inhaled art and exhaled inspiration. Or so she hoped.
The drafting tables were all turned towards the long desk that stood majestically in the middle of the room. Regina dropped her books and her purse over her table before deciding on opening the blinds individually, allowing the light to shine over the memories of a past year that now hung on the walls.
Just another year. That was what she kept telling herself. Year after year, she just kept convincing herself that the current one would be her last. And yet, year after year, she found her contract being renewed. Sometimes the call would come 5 minutes too late and she would almost reach for the bottle of champagne that she had bought the night before her presentation, but then the phone would ring and that celebration meant going to bed early to start planning classes in the morning. Since that day, since the day that was supposed to mean freedom, she hadn't had a second to herself. She was always running from classes to meetings to gallery openings. Perhaps next year she would ignore the phone and just tell herself that she had been let go. Perhaps. If only she could be certain that her mother wouldn't appear at her door telling her the good news, contract to be signed in hand. This prestigious job was more about her mother than anything else. She enjoyed it, yes, but she had different plans. She wanted more.
Always too much but never nearly enough. Perhaps this year would be different. Perhaps this year she would find a group of students that could completely take her breath away and make the journey worth it. Last year she had found herself dealing with a class that didn't have enough perseverance to learn the rules. How does one expect to break the rules without knowing them?
She made her way back to her desk once she was done with the windows. She looked at her watch before sitting down, letting her body relax against a chair that had grown familiar to her. She found herself doodling on the cover of the simple black notebook she had bought for the year while she waited for her students to arrive.
The sudden knock made her look up from the faces she had been drawing for the past few minutes. She nodded as a student asked if he could come in. She grabbed the list of names she had been given, standing up and watching closely as her new companions studied their surroundings.
"Welcome to your first class of the semester." Regina announced, a smile playing on her lips as a few sets of unknown eyes turned towards her. "My name is Regina Mills and I am going to be supervising your evolution in terms of drawing and painting." She added, starting to close the door of the classroom as she was almost sure everyone was already inside. Almost, yes.
"Is this the art atelier?"
"Yes, dear. Do feel free to come in. We were about to get started." Regina replied, holding the door slightly open so that the blonde could walk in and join her colleagues.
"Thanks." The blonde's face was curious. There was this blank expression that seemed to be glued to it. Her green eyes were beyond beautiful and clear, but seemed somewhat lost, almost as if they felt they didn't belong. My feelings, exactly. Regina found herself sighing at the thought before focusing her attention back on her students.
"As I was saying, my name is Regina Mills and you will be seeing me twice a week." She started again, making her way back to her desk and leaning against it. "Choose your drafting table wisely. It is going to be your best friend for the next couple of months." Regina said, her eyes following the blonde as she chose a table far at the back of the room. Regina couldn't help but smile. That had been her seat. It had the best light. Perhaps this year it was going to be different after all.
"I want you to sit down and draw something as I walk by to study your portfolios. Consider this a diagnosis test." She noticed how some students rolled their eyes, how others smiled, and how others seemed way too unfocused to have heard her request. And then there was the blonde. The way she grabbed her pencil, as if asking for permission to spend its graphite. A hand was carefully ran over a blank page in what seemed to be an apology. I am sorry for ruining your pureness. Regina couldn't help but imagine the page smiling back at the blonde woman and thanking her instead. For some reason, Regina was 100% sure that whatever was going to taint the whiteness of that page was going to be more than worth it. An honor. She seemed completely oblivious to what was happening around her. As soon as she had reached for the pencil she carefully held in her hand as if afraid to hurt its feelings, she had disconnected from reality.
Regina felt rather jealous of the younger woman. That had been her plan ever since she had walked into campus for the first time. She had left her mother back in Maine and she had wished that to mean freedom, to mean being able to travel and study her mind and put it all on the canvas, on paper. Blacks and whites and reds and other rainbows of thoughts that kept her from sleeping at night. Yes, she still painted back at her flat, but it just wasn't enough. She shook her head slightly before grabbing her pen and her notebook, advancing to the first desk in front of her. Wish me luck.
From the back of the room, Emma Swan raised her eyes from the paper as soon as she felt she was no longer being studied from a distance. She had to confess that, even though the professor didn't exactly look like someone whose first priority was art, she did look like a piece of art herself. A sculpture of a goddess. She was wearing a black dress that hugged her body like a second skin. Over it she wore a dark blazer that had small traces of red that matched the color of her full lips. Her dark brown hair was perfectly combed and fell lovingly over her shoulders. Her eyes. Oh, her rich brown eyes. She had only met them for a few seconds but she had instantly felt taken aback by them. They were so extremely observant and alive and kind.
Oh yes, she didn't dress like someone who felt a volcano of colors running in her veins, but she acted as if she felt it reaching the tips of her fingers. She could see that as the older woman gesticulated to a student who stood on the front row, probably trying to explain what she thought was missing. She seemed like a musician, a maestro trying to put together every single note, every single resemblance of a skill. Nothing would ever go to waste and the result would be pure inspiration. Perhaps she hadn't been wrong to leave her friends behind and choose the scholarship.
The other students started abandoning the class as their portfolios were looked at, having as homework the task of improving their least favorite pieces. By the time Regina reached Emma they were the only ones in the room.
"I am sorry this took so long." Regina said softly as she approached her last student, careful not to scare the woman to death as she seemed too focused on whatever she was doing.
Emma looked up from what she was drawing and shrugged slightly, giving Regina her portfolio. "It's okay. It's not like I have anything better to do."
Regina sighed internally but just nodded, opening the portfolio. What she found inside was collection of nudes that almost brought tears to her eyes. She figured they all belonged to the same person. You could see the hands and the thighs and the breasts and a perfectly stretched back. You could almost put it all together and see a face. The way they had been drawn was so raw that it brought goosebumps to Regina's arms. And then, at the end, the very last page of the portfolio, was an unfinished portrait. There was no structure to it. It was a perfect mess. It was not that she didn't know how to draw faces, it felt like she simply didn't want to remember how.
Emma raised an eyebrow worryingly as she studied her professor. The other woman had been staring at one drawing for what seemed like an eternity. And she was oh so quiet. "Is everything okay, Professor Mills?"
Regina simply nodded again, closing her eyes for a moment before looking back up. "I have seen my share of portfolios this past 5 years and I must confess yours is one of the greatest I have ever had the pleasure to see." Regina said with a small smile. "Can you tell me what happened here...?" She asked softly.
As she expected, Emma flinched slightly. It was personal. The girl opened her mouth to talk but ended up just shrugging.
"It feels like you have given up at some point..." Regina commented, eyeing her for a moment before reaching for Emma's hands. There was surprise probably because she was not expecting a professor to reach into her personal space. And there was worry, also, perhaps because, for the first time since the professor had approached her, the thing Emma had been working on during class was exposed. But Regina's eyes never left Emma's as she brought the younger woman's hands to her face. Emma tried to pull away but Regina guided them back to place and held them there.
"My fingers... they are black because..." Emma stopped mid-sentence as Regina let out a chuckle.
"Don't worry, dear. I am used to getting dirty." Regina said, her voice low, looking directly into Emma's eyes."Feel it." She started, "Feel every single inch of my face as if this is the last face you will ever see. You are going blind and this is the last face you will ever get to touch, to learn..." Emma's hands were still where Regina had left them. "C'mon, I don't bite. Feel me."
Emma moved her hands slowly and carefully. She was still afraid, Regina could feel it. And so she leaned into the younger woman's touch. As if saying, I am not afraid. Don't be. Touch me. She noticed as a deep breath left the younger woman's lips before she allowed her hands to caress her cheeks. Finally. "Close your eyes and let your hands learn the feelings. You can do this."
She could feel her student getting more comfortable. She suddenly realized that the nudes had been painted from a distance. They were raw from the longing and the wanting. She couldn't help but wonder what her young student would come up with if allowed to touch her desired model.
Emma closed her eyes as she was told and allowed her hands to travel across the face of her professor. Her skin was soft and inviting and welcoming. She ran her fingertips down her professor's jaw and chin before bringing them to her full lips. She could almost feel their redness. She felt the other woman part them slightly and allowed her thumb to run down her lower lip. She could picture them perfectly and to be honest, she wouldn't mind drawing them forever. The scar only made them more unique. After what seemed to be hours, Emma opened her eyes and couldn't help but smile softly as her professor stared intently at her.
"I want you to do what you did with the nudes... but instead of body parts, I want you to draw face details. Can you do that?"
"I think so." Emma said as she looked down at her hands for a minute. She would certainly not mind dedicating the next few hours, or even days, to drawing the face she had just gotten to feel. She was sure that hadn't been her professor's intention, but she just couldn't forget what she had just seen, what she had just felt. The textures, even the perfume. The closeness and the charge of the moment. Her fingertips wouldn't want to know anything else for the next couple of days.
"Good. See you in two days time, then?" Regina asked with a hopeful smile. "I hope I didn't scare you with that exercise. It's just that sometimes feeling helps you visualize better."
"Quite the contrary."
"Thank you, Miss Swan." Regina said as she watched her student grabbing her things.
"It's just Emma." She murmured loud enough before leaving the classroom.
Regina's eyes followed her student before coming to rest upon the desk. There it was, the drawing Emma had been working on while waiting for her turn. It was a picture of Regina... of her back, to be more precise. Of the way her hair fell upon her shoulders. She smiled and shook her head softly before grabbing it, deciding on keeping it.
Perhaps this year it was going to be different.
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There was a soft knock on the door. For the second time that day Regina found herself looking up from yet another blank page that had invited her imagination for a conversation. Her eyes met her watch and she raised an eyebrow. Why was someone knocking at her door at 4 in the morning? She sighed deeply as she got up from her couch.
"Miss S..." Regina reminded herself of her student's request and cleared her throat slightly. "Emma, what are you doing here...?"
"I just..." Emma started, taking a few steps closer so that her face stood only a few inches away from her professor's. Her hand quickly founds its way back to the Regina's face and she felt the older woman yet again leaning into her touch. "I couldn't exactly..." She carried on, her lips now brushing softly against her professor's. Her hand found its way down the older woman's arm before meeting Regina's and lacing their fingers together. "Feel..." She whispered before pecking her. "How red they were." Emma finished half breathlessly, pulling back a little to look into her professor's eyes.
Regina brought their intertwined hands to her lips and placed a soft kiss there before pulling Emma inside. "Come in... I will show you."
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Hope you enjoyed it :)