Disclaimer: I am not Veronica Roth, sadly. Therefore, I do not own Divergent and none of these wonderful characters are mine. Then again… I haven't checked in a while…
Your pain is my pain
I throw my keys on the table next to the door and flop on Tobias' unmade bed. I stare quietly at the ceiling, waiting for him. After a few minutes though, I get bored and begin to wander aimlessly around the room. Smiling, I grab the only picture he has on his nightstand. Tobias and I are thrown on the grass, laughing. It was a year ago; we were racing by the train tracks. Christina was snapping pictures of Uriah and Zeke, whom were playfully wrestling. As I ran, I suddenly jumped on Tobias, knocking him over. He glared at me, but his wide grin gave him away and we started laughing uncontrollably. Days later we found out Christina had snapped a picture of that moment.
We've been together for four years now, and we're happier than ever. Even though none of us can stop the nightmares and the violent reflexes that come with the war, we have each other.
Still smiling, I put the picture back on the nightstand just as I hear the door open. I whirl around, still half expecting someone to point a gun at my head, but it's just Tobias.
"It's just me" he says, sensing my thoughts. I relax as he walks over to me and touches my cheek with his hand. I lean in to it gently and smile at him. He steps closer and gently kisses my forehead and brushes his lips against mine.
"Hey" he whispers against my lips.
"Hey" I breathe. I find it amazing how his touch can still make my knees buckle. I vaguely wonder if the same thing happens to him.
He pulls away and slips his shoes off. He takes off his jacket, throwing it on the arm chair and sits on the bed, his back pressing against the headboard. He looks up at me and pats the space on his side. I make my way to the bed and crawl over the bunched covers, cuddling against his shoulder. He stretches his arm and embraces me, burying his lips in my hair.
"I heard you last night, you know" he says. I tense up. "Your sobs aren't that quiet".
I look up at him, glaring. "Well, sorry to wake you" I snap, sitting up.
He looks alarmed. "Tris, you know I didn't mean it like that".
I nod silently and look down at my clasped hands. "I'm sorry" I say, mentally slapping myself for how small my voice sounds.
He pulls me in his arms again. "There's nothing to apologize for" he whispers. And suddenly, I'm sobbing and he's making hushing sounds into my hair.
As I calm down he lifts my chin up. "I have to ask" he says and I nod. Even though I don't want to tell him now, I know I have to. Last time I hid something that gave me nightmares it was Will's death, and I didn't deal with it well.
I swallow the lump in my throat and stare at our entwined hands. "Everyone was there" I croak.
"Everyone?"
I nod. "Even me" I whisper, shaking my head as I remember the simulation. "I shot them all" I say, holding back a sob. "They're dead, Tobias. Mom, dad, Will, Marlene… all of them. I killed them".
He looks at me fiercely. "Stop it" he growls. "You didn't kill them-"
"But I did. They're dead because of me. It's-" I start to object, but he clasps his hand on my mouth.
"Don't be stupid" he says, his voice low and dangerous. This is Four, my instructor. "You couldn't so anything to stop it. It wasn't you fault, Tris. You know it wasn't" he says, his voice softer. This is Tobias, my Tobias. He drops his hand and I nod, resting my head on his shoulder.
I must have dozed off –it was late when Tobias came back –because as my eyes flutter open, the room is dark and Tobias has his arms around me. I softly caress his wrist and stare at the wall ahead of me.
Suddenly, he yanks his arm away from my touch. I frown and turn to look at his sleeping face. There is panic etched upon his features. I untangle myself from his grasp and he curls into himself, covering his face from view. I start to panic, knowing he must be having a nightmare.
"Tobias" I whisper in his ear, trying to wake him up. Instead, he shakes his head violently, mumbling something incoherent. "Tobias, wake up" I say, more urgently this time. His breathing is labored, his face is covered in sweat and he thrashes around every time I touch him. "Tobias!" I yell, panicking. It pains me when he has nightmares like these.
He continues mumbling incoherent things and I start crying. I angrily wipe the tears away, knowing how stupid it is to cry because he is having a nightmare. "Tobias, please!" I sob, taking his hand to stop it from hitting me.
His eyes fly open and he uncurls himself, panting while clutching the covers for dear life. I sigh in relief and lean against the wall for a second before hovering over him. "Hey, it's fine" I whisper. "He's not here, you're with me".
He nods, wiping sweat from his forehead. I lay my hand on his cheek and he squeezes his eyes shut. "I'm sorry".
I almost roll my eyes at him. He spends his life telling me not to apologize for stupid things and here he is, doing just that. "Oh shut up" I say and a ghost of a smile plays on his lips.
"It was him again" he says, his voice hoarse, before I can ask. He opens his eyes to look at me, his deep blue eyes searching mine. "You were there" he says, his voice cracking.
A spare tear rolls down my cheek. "I know, it's okay. I'm okay… we're okay" I breath, kissing him lightly.
He pulls away. "You're crying" he frowns, running his thumb on my cheek. "Why?"
I close my eyes. "You're pain is my pain" I breathe. It's the most cliché thing I've said, but it's true. I hate seeing him like this.
And suddenly we're kissing, slowly but passionately, his hands gripping my hips under the hem of my shirt. I'm straddling him, pinning him under me. He kisses along my jaw line and I sigh, a blush instantly forming on my face. I feel a smirk form on his mouth against my mouth as I bury my hands in his hair.
He pulls away slightly, so that our noses are touching and our breaths are mixed with the heat of our bodies. "I love you so much, Tris" he breathes, looking at me intently.
I don't have to think twice before I say, "I love you too". He brushes his lips against mine as he runs his fingers through my hair. I roll over so that I'm lying on his side with my head on his chest, facing him. He seems deep in thought for a moment, considering something, before he speaks again.
"Marry me".
A/N: This is the first thing I've written about divergent. I love Fourtris/Ten so freaking much! I can't wait until the next book comes out. Anyway, I hope you like it! Please leave a review.. they make me happy.
Oh, something else: if anyone like Sirius/OC fanfictions then you should totally check mine out. It's called Black & White… I'd appreciate it! Love you!