Disclaimer: I do not own the Private series, Kate Brian does.
I was floating. Drifting through an invisible sea. I forgot all about being pushed off a boat. I forgot all about the people who seemed to be continuously after me. I forgot about everyone. I was peaceful just floating and being detached from all of my emotions. I no longer cared that I was the cause of so much pain, that too many people had been damaged because of me. Thomas was leading a girl on who was mentally unstable it was only a matter of time before she snapped. I knew Cheyenne didn't have to die. She didn't deserve that. Maybe someone else would have been collateral for Arianna and her crazy sister Sabine's motives. Ivy was also someone else who nearly died because of me. She helped me when no one else would and let led to a bullet in her chest. However I didn't feel guilt in this sea of solitude. I just acknowledged these events. Maybe I was dead. I didn't care at this moment. For once in my life I wasn't looking over my shoulder and trying to pass exams. Thinking about Ivy led me to Josh. I could picture exactly his green eyes and imagine the smudges of paint that seemed to be present on every clothing item he owned. He hadn't called me yet as promised. He chose Ivy over me. I could understand some of his reasoning behind that though. He got his girlfriend shot by trying to save his old one. I was still mad at him though. Noelle immediately got things back to normal between us but Josh decided to stay with Ivy. I couldn't dwell on the past now I had Upton Giles at my fingertips. The gorgeous Upton with his perfect smile and strong arms. But he left me too. He went after Poppy when she walked in on Upton and I half naked laying on top of each other in Mrs Ryan's bedroom. Which led to me going on deck and being pushed off the boat. And despite all of that it didn't even bother me. I enjoyed this safe haven free from danger and emotions. I wasn't even upset that I was dead. Maybe I would see Thomas again. The first and only boy I had sex with. I swirled my hands around in whatever fluid I was in and slowly started feeling my eyes grow heavier. I hoped I would open them again but at the moment I couldn't care less.