A/N: Okay, just as a warning, this is my first Star Wars fic, despite the fact that I have been watching the movies since I was in diapers. Anyway, this is a redemption fic for Kylo Ren...spawned from reading He'll Crush You by Starkreactor.

Also, real quick, I know several of the characters in the movie are in their late twenties or early thirties, so I aged them down a little bit. Not much. It just seemed like some of the stuff that I'll be having one of them doing didn't make sense for a person their age, frankly. I just couldn't see them doing it.

And finally:

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars in any way shape or form. This work was not published for any gain. Star Wars and all characters excluding OCs belong to Lucasfilm and Disney.

In story summary:

Han Solo was right.

Snoke crushed Kylo Ren once he had served his use, cutting him off from the Force and leaving him to die in the icy wastes of a First Order prison world. But instead of dying, the young man begins to build a life for himself. However, all that is shattered when, two years later, a certain Jedi crash lands on the same planet and Kylo saves her life. Determined to drag him back to the light, Rey will seemingly stop at nothing to get him to come with her.

Chapter 1 - In the Wrong

Kylo Ren gasped when he returned to consciousness. He was unbearably cold. He wrapped his stiff and shaking arms around his sides, trying to sit up. Pain erupted in his ribs and torso, causing a silent scream to wrench itself from his ragged lungs. He tried to make any sound whatsoever, but the burning in his throat, and the fact that his lungs could only open a fraction of what they used to, seemed to only allow for small strangled sounds of pain.

He didn't dare to sit up now, but he tried to look around as water dripped into his eye and onto his face. Twisting his head, neck protesting, he could see the snow around him.

Where have I seen this before? He thought.

Oh. Right.

Starkiller base. The place where all his troubles had begun.

The place where he had first discovered the extent of Rey's potential and power. The place where she had beaten him, given him the long scar which had since marred his face.

The place he had murdered his father.

No! Don't think about that! Now is not the time! He screamed in his head, digging a fist into the snow and clenching the frozen liquid until it melted in his grip.

Not only that, but in his slight haze, he felt that something was very off. Something was missing. Different. But he couldn't quite place it.

The cold was making his vision blurry and he couldn't think beyond how cold and numb his extremities were. He couldn't keep his eyes open, though he tried as hard as he could. Darkness closed in around him as the wind whistled around him. Tears began to form at the corners of his eyes as he thought one last thing before dropping into what seemed to be his final sleep.

Father was right.

.::oOo::.

"He's waking up."

Kylo heard a faint buzzing in his ears as he slowly began to rouse. He could feel a small headache pulsing in his forehead and his nose was slightly stuffed up. He swallowed, finding his throat dry as the Jakku badlands. Opening his eyes was a mistake.

Light assaulted him instantly from above. He groaned and squinted to block it out.

"Oh, whoa, right! Enen, turn the lights down!"

The brightness dimmed to a reasonable level and he blinked his eyes open a few times, trying to clear his groggy mind. He started to sit up, but thought better of it when he felt an angry surge of pain shoot through his torso. He gritted his teeth against the pain.

Use it to your advantage. Pain draws out the dark side.

He fisted his hand and raised it back to slam it into his ribs, but suddenly something caught it.

"Wha-! What do you think you're doing?!" Came an indignant shout.

He swiveled his head, hearing the voice that he had woken up to.

The shadowed face of a woman faced him, her hazel eyes filled with the shock of seeing an injured man attempt to injure himself further. He blinked at her, silence permeating the room.

"I repeat. What. Do you. Think. You're doing?" She reiterated, still gripping his wrist, keeping his hand in the air, bare inches from his chest.

"It's a bit difficult to explain," he rasped in reply, surprised that any sound came out.

"No it's not. You were going to hit yourself! Don't you have any idea that almost all of your ribs are broken?! You're lucky I found you out there. I don't want to have to save your life twice," she snapped, releasing his hand and slapping it down to his side. Not taking her eyes off of him for a few moments as she moved away, she finally turned to speak to another figure standing in the door. It was broader, taller, more than likely male. Kylo couldn't help but listen in on their conversation while he glanced around the space.

"Thanks again, Enen. For all your help."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay and help? He could give you trouble. He could be dangerous."

"Enen, he can't even move. What can he do to me? It seems like he's more of a danger to himself right now than any of us. I'll be fine."

"Mm. Alright. But I'll be back tomorrow to make sure you're okay."

"Fine. I'll see you then. Oh, and you might want to see about getting some extra portions for...you know."

"I can try. But extra portions means extra work. I'm already doing a double-shift out in the wastes tomorrow, but I'll see what I can do. Goodnight, Kan."

"Night, Enen."

Kylo busied himself looking at the far wall when she shut the door and turned around towards him. She huffed and moved to sit back down beside the bed, or the cot, rather, as Kylo had discovered.

"Congratulations. You just went three minutes without harming yourself," she said sarcastically, earning herself a look from him. "How are you feeling?" She asked, aware that he could answer for himself. Kylo thought for a minute.

"Cold. Hot. Tired." He replied shortly, feeling like his throat was being scrubbed raw with every word. He swallowed, the spit going down roughly. He watched her for a moment to gauge her reaction. She looked thoughtful, as though measuring his words as symptoms. She was.

"Hmm. The tired is understandable, with your body trying to heal itself and all, but coupled with feeling cold and hot at the same time might not be a good sign," she said, rubbing her chin pensively. Kylo raised a dark eyebrow and watched her.

"So? You're saying?" He rasped.

"I'm saying I think you're sick. It's understandable. I have no idea how long you were out in the wastes, but it had to have been hours. Maybe days, I'm not sure," she shrugged before getting up again. "There's not much I can do for you tonight. I already wrapped you up and applied some modified bacta to your ribs. Once a daily for a couple days and you'll be on your feet soon enough."

With that, she got up and moved away from him, disappearing into another room. "I'll be right back, okay?" She called. Kylo couldn't raise his voice enough to respond. He could, however, think about what she had just told him.

It had been a while since he had last felt the effects of sickness on his body. The grogginess, the high temperature, the feeling roiling deep in his stomach that he was going to vomit that he hadn't noticed until now.

Sick.

The word made him more upset and uncomfortable than it should have.

He wasn't supposed to get sick anymore.

He hadn't gotten sick since his Uncle had taught him how to use Force heal and meditation trances. It had become almost second nature to him to use the Force to eliminate any illness before it had him down and out.

Which explained the gap he felt.

Something was missing, and he hadn't been able to place it until that moment.

He couldn't feel anything.

Fearing the worst, he began to hyperventilate. Normally, this sort of reaction would draw out the Force, rattling his surroundings with the power. But despite the fact that he could hardly breathe and he was shaking like a leaf, nothing else in the room so much as twitched.

The girl came back in, and rushed to his side to calm him down. "Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, you're okay. Everything is fine, you're gonna be alright." She soothed, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked at her, desperately attempting to convey with his eyes that it would not be alright. He couldn't feel the Force! How would anything be alright?!

But, as hard as he tried, looking into her eyes only seemed to calm him. He focused on the silver ringed with indigo almost against his will. His breathing slowed and he felt his eyes beginning to get heavy.

Just before passing out, he registered the feeling of a needle being removed from his frostbitten arm.

She drugged me…

A/N: So, that was chapter one. I know. Odd place to stop, but I didn't want to overdo it. I will be updating this shortly as I am unfortunately all over this fandom (cough cough* this ship* cough cough) and I cannot manage to kick out another chapter of my other fic while this one is on my mind. Forgive me POTO fandom...