"Ready!" I yelled from my new/old motorbike. Jacob has been bugging me lately on how I can't beat him on a race. We started learning how to ride these old bikes since we finished fixing them. I suddenly grew fond to mine... I learned so much from Jake about mechanics while repairing it, I knew its functions, I memorized every detail and now, after good hard work, it was running. I made it work. I had to paint it turquoise to make it mine.

I put on the helmet that Charlie forces me to wear and started the engine.

Jacob laughed "I thought you would look tough but... you're way too pale and skinny for that".

He wanted to play funny, huh? I raced off. "HEY" he yelled right after he took off after me.

"ReadysetGooo" I yelled over my shoulder and I heard him laugh loudly.

This was it. My moment. I really could say nothing topped this: being human. I loved loved loved being human for the first time in my life.

I loved my friends, my bike, my dad, this view, this air accross my skin. All of this. I can't even begin to think about leaving anything of this for anyone.

But I once did.

I was very close to it

I almost lost this joy because I placed my worth on someone else's love. Logically, my world crushed down when he left. When he said I wasn't good enough for him

And now I'm on my feet, not desiring anything from anyone, just this love between me and God.

I was so immersed on my thoughts that I almost missed Jacob drifting in front of me.

SCREEEEECH"I win" he says with a smile.

We parked our bikes near the shore of our spot, down by LA Push beach. We sat on our usual log like every weekend. We talked and laughed about daily gossip.

As the sun went down, the mood started to shift from friendly to uncomfortable (at least for me).

"Bella..." he said with the tender tone I evade every week.

"No." I laughed. "Don't make me question if I should keep being your friend. I just tasted freedom, and I love it, so please don't make it difficult for me."

Jacob smiled gently, and after a comfortable silence, he grabbed my hand. "Can I love you from a distance, then? Just loving you and your freedom without making it awkward?"

"Try not to, Jake. Keep in mind I see you as a true friend."

He faked a heart attack and I pushed him down our log, holding back a laugh.

We rode back to his place to eat dinner. Jacob helped me lift my bike into the back of the truck so I could drive back home.

The ride back home is one of my favourite parts. I tuned in my favourite radio station, which aired Jazz on Friday nights like this one. I rolled down the window a bit, just to enjoy some of the chilly wind, until it was unbearable.

I am happy, I am ok. Im no longer lonely, but instead, Im making new memories, when once my world spinned around someone else.

But I cant never regret him, because I know what we had was true. I know he's as stubborn to lie to me and leave, if he knew he was protecting me. He chose to break my heart over ending my life... and I am thankful for that. But he left, I have to move on.

So I erased all these thoughts off my mind and turned the volume louder.

Sudddenly, I was blinded by the brights of the car behind me, reflected on my rear view.

I wanted to pull over so the person passed, until I felt a hit from behind. I tried moving but the car kept crashing me until it pushed me on the edge of the road.

I unlocked my belt and crawled to the passenger door, where the road was, while the truck was balancing itself... until I saw her.

Victoria.

Smiling, standing outside my car. She waved and kicked the truck down the hill. That's the last thing I remember.