Note: This one is a parody of Sailor Moon, based on the episode Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy. Hope you enjoy this.
Pinkie Pie and Derpy Hooves were at the SugarCube Corner, watching their favorite TV, Sailor Dream. A beautiful young teenage girl who was dressed in her white, light-blue, and bright red Sailor Moon-like mini skirt outfit, leaped and flew in the sky by a large moon with glittering stars flowing from her. She has golden long hair with two buns that hang pigtails from them.
"Sailor Dream," the TV announcer said, "Brave and beautiful. With the ability to spread purity and assemble allies of joy."
"In the name of all dreams," Sailor Dream replied, "I'll punish you!"
"Sailor Dream," The TV announcer continued, "with her young associate, Sailor Mini Dream, fights for the name of Planet Earth against the forces of evil."
Appearing next to Sailor Dream is a little girl who appeared as if she was either nine or ten. She wears the same outfit as Sailor Dream does except hers had mostly pink design and her salmon hair has the same two buns/pigtails style. They slammed their full moon wands together in the air as the orbs glowed in white, releasing a single blasting beam.
A zombie-like female monster dressed in the black cloak was cornering a tiny crying toddler, holding a lollipop as if she had taken it from him. Then she noticed a white beam coming toward her.
"Oh, no! The Moonlight Beam!"
The beam caught her, vaporizing her in the air. The lollipop was dropped on the happy toddler's tongue.
The TV showed Sailor Dream again.
"Sailor Dream!" the announcer replied, "Champion of justice!"
Sailor Dream blasted a flower petal-covered ball at the screen and then the title Lovely Scout Sailor Dream appeared, concluding the episode.
Pinkie and Derpy cheered and applauded.
"Yay! Champion of justice! Sailor Dream! Wahoo!"
Pinkie, who is dressed like Sailor Dream, said with determination, "Come on, Sailor Mini Dream. There's evil afoot."
Derpy who dressed like Sailor Mini Dream said, "Leaping kittens, Sailor Dream. I'm right behind you!"
The two ponies leaped in the air and floated out of the bakery. They hid behind Trixie's wagon where they spotted a white maned blue unicorn. Trixie was sitting on her long golden chair, decorated with rubies and gems and she wore her sunglasses. She was sunbathing underneath the sun.
Pinkie and Derpy poked their heads out, glaring at her suspiciously.
"Sailor Dream and Sailor Mini Dream have spotted their worst enemy, Empress Beryllium, up to no good," Pinkie said.
Trixie heard her and removed her glasses, noticing the two ponies spying on her. She puts them back on and resumes sunbathing.
"Pinkie…" she muttered to herself in annoyance.
"You know what this means?" Pinkie said, taking out a white box.
"Éclairs," Derpy said with both hunger and awe.
Pinkie opened it, revealing three chocolate frosted éclairs in them.
"Oooooh," she and Derpy said in awe.
They took one each out of the box. Pinkie raised hers up in the air.
"In the name of all dreams!" Pinkie replied.
A bite was heard.
Pinkie and Derpy had put their éclairs together (Derpy's éclair had a bite mark), and they quoted from the TV show in unison, "Lovely Sailor Scouts unite!"
"Allies of joy, assemble!" Pinkie replied. She and Derpy went into deep thinking with straining grunts.
"Think…. Harder…. Mini Dream…." Pinkie grunted.
Suddenly, they stopped straining as a butterfly was flapping past them.
"Here they come!" Pinkie replied.
The butterfly flew toward Trixie, but the blue unicorn, without even turning her head, simply blows it away.
"Blast," Pinkie replied, "Beryllium has become too powerful!"
Trixie was minding her own business sunbathing until a shadow looms over her.
"Huh? What the?"
Pinkie had rolled her party cannon in front of her and aimed it at her.
"Party net fire!" she replied. She shot the colorful blanket-like net at Trixie, trapping her underneath.
"All right, Sailor Dream!" Derpy replied.
"Ooooooh!" Trixie angrily replied from underneath the blanket.
"Now that Beryllium is captured," Pinkie replied, "The sparkling goodness from the party net should be able to purify her."
Derpy gasps, "Sweet Triton under the sea, Sailor Dream! She's escaping the net!"
Trixie had used her magic from her horn to toss the net from her in fury. She then angrily turned to Pinkie and Derpy.
Pinkie gasps, "Quick, Mini Dream! Back to the Command Center!"
"Right away, Sailor Dream!" Derpy replied.
Trixie replied, "Pinkie!"
Derpy and the pink pony ran back into Sugarcube Corner, closing the door behind them. Trixie chased after them. She runs up to the door and knocks it hard.
"Pinkie Pie, open this door right now!" Trixie shouted.
Inside, hearing Trixie's continuous knocking, Pinkie and Derpy knew they were in trouble.
"The empress has found our secret hideout!" Pinkie replied.
"What would the real Sailor Dream do?" Derpy asked fearfully.
Overhearing her question, Trixie said, "Why don't you ask her yourself?"
"Elaborate, you vile siren!" Pinkie replied.
Trixie rolled her eyes and said, "She and Mini Dream live in the retirement home in Baltimare."
Hearing the blue unicorn's response, Pinkie thought out loud, "Baltimare, huh? Hmmm. They must be working undercover."
Trixie sighed, "Yes. Now, please leave me alone." She then walked away.
Pinkie turned to Derpy and replied, "Mini Dream, pack your bags and let's hit the train! We're going to Baltimare!"
The two ponies took out their éclairs and held them in the air as they pressed them against each other. (Derpy, of course, has three bite marks on her éclair.)
"Lovely Sailor Scouts, reunite!" the two ponies replied.
Later on, Pinkie and Derpy had taken a train to Baltimare and arrived by a retirement home called the Weeping Willow Rest Home. The rest home is a large light tan manor with dark green rooftops and brown wooden balconies and windows. It has three weeping willow trees positioned a few distances away from the manor and two white gazebos were there as well. Pinkie and Derpy noticed a few elderly ponies, such as unicorns, earth ponies, and Pegasus respectively.
They went inside and approached the counter. A female champagne colored earth pony with brown spicy hair is sitting by the counter riding a magazine that has the article title called Baltimare Magazine. The earth pony is called the manager of the rest home. She continued riding the magazine until she heard Pinkie's voice.
"Excuse me," the pink pony said, "I know that Sailor Dream is working undercover on an important case, but you think we could see her?"
The manager was puzzled by her strange question.
"Undercover?" she asked, "Yeah…."
She got off of her seat and leads the two ponies down the hall, saying, "Well, I'll see if they can take time from their busy schedule to meet you."
Pinkie and Derpy followed her, giggling quietly with excitement to themselves.
The manager took them to a large recreation room where the elderly ponies were doing their respective activities such as playing board games, sewing, and such. She pointed her hoof toward the two elders down the corner.
"There they are," she told them, "Right over there."
Pinkie and Derpy quietly gasped with excitement.
"Try not to surprise them," the manager told them before walking away.
"Derpy!" Pinkie squealed calmly, "Can you believe it?"
"Sailor Dream and Sailor Mini Dream in the flesh!" Derpy replied.
The two elderly ladies are not ponies at all. They're actually humans. One elder woman is short and obese and her white bun-headed pigtails were shorter than Sailor Dream's golden hair. She wears a t-shirt with a giant pink bow on it and a long light blue skirt that reaches down to her knees and she wears fuzzy pink slippers. She appeared friendly and senile. Next to her is a tall elder woman who had a similar clothing but with different colors mostly with pink. This one is thinner than the other. She wears glasses and she looked a little cranky.
The ladies were watching television until Pinkie and Derpy appeared from behind the television and walked in front of it, making excited faces to them.
"Hey, who are those girls?" the tall one asked.
"Oh.." The obese one said in a senile tone, "Are they here to fix the TV?"
Pinkie and Derpy were nervously chattering while giggling until the tall woman interrupted them, "What do you want?"
"Are you Sailor Dream and Sailor Mini Dream from the Lovely Sailor Scouts?" Pinkie asked.
"Well, we used to be," the tall woman named Mini Dream answered (she sounded as if she had met annoying fans before; she was very annoyed with them), "But now we retired."
Pinkie and Derpy gasped together in shock.
"But you can't retire," Pinkie said, "There's evil afoot."
An obese elderly woman named Sailor Dream heard her and replied, "Wha-? Evil! Eviiil!" She got off the couch, ran up to one of the tall green plants, leaped on it, and hanged onto it. Obviously, she may have been traumatized.
"Mini Dream," Sailor Dream replied, hanging upside down, "Come quick! I've got the evil!"
Pinkie, who was concerned, explained to Mini Dream calmly, "All I said was there's evil afoot."
"EVIIIILL!" Sailor Dream replied, running around the room, "Eee….. eee… Eeeeeee! Eeeeeee!"
"Would you please stop saying that?!" Mini Dream replied to Pinkie.
Sailor Dream hangs onto the water-drinking fountain, straining herself. "Eeeeevil! Evil, evil, evil, evil, evil!" She accidently presses a button that causes the water to squirt at her face.
"Death staaaaaaaaaare!" she screamed.
Overhearing this and knowing that Pinkie and Derpy had caused all this commotion, the manager rushed in, shoved the two ponies away from the elders, and bucked them out of the building, slamming the door behind them.
Pinkie and Derpy landed on the ground with a thud.
They quickly recovered from their fall, getting up.
"Wow," Pinkie said, "Sailor Dream and Sailor Mini Dream."
Derpy made a disappointed look, commenting, "It's too bad they're old…"
"What do you mean, Derpy?" Pinkie asked, "Old ponies and old people are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience."
(The one-shot parody writer's grandmother gives two thumbs up to you readers.)
Pinkie continues her inspiring speech, "The land of Equestria, no, the entire world needs Sailor Dream and Sailor Mini Dream." She jumped on a large running water fountain, looking up in the sky.
"Someone, somewhere out there is in trouble," Pinkie continued with determination, "And by Princess Celestia as my witness, I won't rest until the Lovely Sailor Scouts are out of retirement."
She made a promising pose with her head up high, as fireworks appeared, exploding in the air. Derpy noticed them and commented in awe, "Ooooooh, pretty lights."
(The fireworks actually came from Snip and Snails who accidently set off the fireworks. Wait a minute… How did they get to Baltimare?... Oh, whatever, let's continue the story…)
Back at the retirement home, it was lunchtime for the elderly. Today's lunch is cheese ravioli with tomato sauce, Brussel sprouts, boiled deviled eggs, and white milk. The elders went to the cafeteria to get themselves some food. Sailor Dream and Mini Dream were in line and they were served boiled deviled eggs first.
"To the ravioli!" Sailor Dream declared as if she was still a superhero. They walked down where the male cafeteria earth pony was serving them some cheese ravioli.
"To the Brussel sprouts!" Sailor Dream replied. They walked down to where the sprouts are. The female cafeteria Pegasus gave a spoonful to them. Then Sailor Dream said, "Oh, make sure you give extra Brussel sprouts to my young ward. The girl needs her vitamins."
Mini Dream was given an annoyed look. The Pegasus had given her at least three more sprouts, saying, "Here you go, dear." She snickered jokingly.
"To the table," Sailor Dream replied, "Away!" She began running slowly with her tray of food.
"Careful," Mini Dream called out to her, following her, "Don't run."
As soon as they seated at one table, Pinkie appeared and bounced up and down for their attention.
"Hey, Sailor Dream!" she replied.
The women noticed her as she approached her.
"Uh, here comes the T.V. repair pony," Sailor Dream said.
"What do you want from us?" Mini Dream snapped at Pinkie.
"Hold on," Pinkie said, "Just let me look at ya."
"Stay alert, Mini Dream," Sailor Dream said, "She… she's up to something."
"Will you cut… will you stop calling me 'Mini?'" Mini Dream asked.
Pinkie began to explain excitedly, "Do you remember the time when the Victorian dolls were being possessed by the nightmare shadows and started kidnapping children? So, you and the Scouts had discovered the Heart of the Sun that chases the shadows away to return the dolls to normal!"
Sailor Dream smiled as Mini Dream had given herself a face-palm.
"All of the sudden," Pinkie said as she starts moving around as an example, "The evil Jedite swoops down and uses his dark shady spheres in attempt to destroy the Heart of the Sun!" She imitates the shooting beams sound effect.
"And then he teleports on top of the building!" she continued. She then leaped on top of the table where one elder pony was eating. One of her back hooves had stomped onto her oatmeal as the pink pony stood up high.
"And he sends down a fiery fire ball, hoping to burn the city down along with you Scouts!"
The old pony growls at Pinkie in disgust. He was irritated for a fact that his food was ruined by her.
"What's your point, kid?" Mini Dream asked.
Pinkie jumped off the table and walked up to Sailor Dream and Mini Dream.
"My point is," Pinkie said, "You girls are the greatest heroes of all time, and I think you should come out of retirement."
Suddenly, Sailor Dream started to get insanely angry as she pounded on the table. "Listen up, you villains! I want to eat my cheese ravioli!" She rose up and replied, "If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, by the land of Equestria, I now pronounce you husband and wife!"
The manager, overhearing the commotion again, replied, "What is going on here?!"
"You may kiss the bride!" Sailor Dream shouted, pointing her finger at Pinkie.
The manager dragged Pinkie out of the cafeteria and bucked her out of the building again. She was flown high, and she landed headfirst near Derpy.
"Did you reunite our heroes?" the crossed-eye Pegasus asked.
"No, but I'm married," Pinkie answered.
Later on, some of elders were walking outside for fresh air. Sailor Dream and Mini Dream were sitting on their chairs, rocking in rhythm.
"Up, up, and away," Sailor Dream said, "Up, up and aaawaaay."
Pinkie walked by. She was dressed in the white and yellow Sunday clothes with a sunflower hat. She was carrying a large purple-pink purse. "Oh, mah, this purse is so big and heavy," she said in an effortless southern accent.
Derpy, who dresses up as a robber, flew down and said, "Hold it right there, lady. I'll be taking that!" She takes the purse from Pinkie and flies off.
Pinkie playfully screamed, "Hay-lp! Hay-lp! Hay-lp!"
Mini Dream comes over to the pink pony.
Derpy hid behind the weeping willow and whispered, "It's working."
"Oh, why, are you here to rescue little ol' me?" Pinkie asked innocently.
Mini Dream, knowing that Pinkie is in disguise, gives her a shout that ruined her dress and make-up, "Pipe down! You could wake Sailor Dream, and she's ornery when her nap's disturbed."
They noticed that Sailor Dream was frozen in place and her eyes were widely opened. Nevertheless, she was really asleep.
"Ever alert," Pinkie said, approaching her, "Sailor Dream has trained herself to sleep with her eyes open."
"Confound it," Mini Dream replied, "Get away from her!"
Sailor Dream woke up and screamed, "Stop shouting! I'm napping!"
"It's not me, you old coot!" Mini Dream replied!
"Yes," One female elder earth pony said.
"It's me," the other one said.
"I'm over here," the male elderly unicorn replied.
Sailor Dream and Mini Dream began bickering at each other, until Pinkie calmly interrupts, "Um, excuse me, Sailor Dream?"
Sailor Dream turned and snapped at Pinkie, "What do you want?"
"Oh, this better be good," Mini Dream grumbled.
"This will cheer you up," Pinkie said, "We're almost done painting your invisible coachmobile."
Derpy is seen holding a paintbrush on her front hoof, smiling. The invisible coachmobile was nearly covered in black paint.
Mini Dream gives out a frustrated grunt. "Gah! It's supposed to be invisible!"
As Sailor Dream was smiling and dazing out, Mini Dream declared, "That's it! We gotta end our life of leisure." She then said to Sailor Dream, "It's time to come out of retirement. There's evil afoot."
Sailor Dream was startled by the word evil and replied, "Evil!"
She looked around and asked, "Where is it?"
"There it is!" Mini Dream replied, pointing her fingers at Pinkie and Derpy who made silly faces.
"You know what this means?" She takes out a box and opens it, revealing two shiny full moon wands.
"Éclairs!" Sailor Dream said excitedly.
"Oh, brother," Mini Dream groaned in annoyance. She hands one to Sailor Dream and takes the other for herself. They try to put them together, but they kept missing. Until finally, they succeed putting them together. The music started up, until it died down. Realizing this, Mini Dream told Sailor Dream, "Say the oath."
Sailor Dream said in her young voice, "Lovely Sailor Scouts unite!"
The music plays up again as they were surrounded by a bright moonlight for a brief moment.
"Throw a Petal Ball at them!" Sailor Dream replied, as she and Mini Dream faced the two ponies.
"Petal Balls!" the ponies replied excitedly as they were giggling, "Petal Balls!"
Mini Dream tossed a ball that was covered in pink flower petals at them. It hits Pinkie in the face, but it didn't hurt her. It only hit her face and the petals were scattered into the ground. Derpy was laughing with Pinkie.
"Jumping milk cows!" Mini Dream replied, "It's not working, Sailor Dream!"
"She-She's-She's absorbing it like some kind of evil cotton candy," Sailor Dream said, glaring at Pinkie. "Luna Shine Bright Tonight!" she and Mini Dream said together. They slammed their wands together to summon a shining moonlight upon the two ponies from the orbs.
The moonlight shines upon Pinkie and Derpy and they were lifted from the ground. More moonlight appeared, blasting at them but they weren't hurting them.
"It's the Moonlight Beam!" Derpy replied, recognizing the attack.
"Wheee!" Pinkie replied, floating in the air as if she was flying.
They were both cheering as they floated in the light.
"Those fiends!" Sailor Dream replied, "They're actually enjoying it!"
The two ponies were cheerfully laughing as they floated down to the ground.
"Do it again! Do it again!" they both said together.
"Now what, Sailor Dream?" Mini Dream asked, "We need help."
"Allies of Joy, unite!" both Sailor Scouts said as they strained their minds to summon the Allies of Joy. The magical sparkling bird-like lights appeared from their heads and flew into the rest home. Each of them went to the elders' room and bump into their head. The puzzled elders feeling the lights' presence walked out of their rooms and began going outside slowly, mumbling and chattering. They went toward Sailor Dream and Mini Dream, encircling them.
"Hmm," Mini Dream said, "our allies seem to have lost some of their luster."
However, Sailor Dream ordered as she pointed her finger at Pinkie and Derpy, "Allies of Joy, attack!"
"Pinch me, I must be dreaming!" Pinkie replied.
The elder ponies, who now are carrying torches and pitchforks, ran toward her and Derpy. They encircled around them and picked them up over their heads, carrying them away from the rest home.
Pinkie replied happily, "Mission accomplished, Derpy!"
"Yeah! We did it!" Derpy replied.
The elder ponies then tossed them toward the train station.
Sailor Dream and Mini Dream watched them and replied in victory, "I did it! I feel five years younger! Oh, it's good to be back!" She laughed happily.
"We did it, you old coot," Mini Dream said as they both shake hands.
"Who are you?" Sailor Dream asked. Then Mini Dream made an annoyed face.
Meanwhile, Pinkie and Derpy are back in Ponyville and they are at the Sugarcube Corner, watching a new TV show.
"The New Chronicles of the Lovely Sailor Scouts!" The announcer said, "We join our heroines locked in a battle of wits!"
Sailor Dream and Mini Dream were playing checkers. Sailor Dream placed a black checker on the board. A 'Pow!' bubble appeared. Mini Dream replied by placing a red checker. 'Clack!' appeared. Sailor Dream sweats nervously. However, she placed a black checker to the end of the board. 'King Me!' appeared.
Suddenly, the phone began ringing.
"It's the Cloudyphone!" Sailor Dream replied. She went up and answered the phone, but she held it upside down. "What is it, Apollo?"
There were chattering going on, but Sailor Dream keeps saying, "Uhh, hello?... Hello?... Heeello?" She then hangs up the phone. 'Hang up!' appeared.
Sailor Dream turned to Mini Dream and said, "The phone is still broken. Remind me to g-get that fixed." She sat back down and 'Sit!' appeared.
"Remind you of what?" Mini said with a bored expression.
"Remind me of what?" Sailor Dream asked.
"Will our heroes ever get their phone fixed?" The announcer said. "Tune in next week and find out."
Pinkie and Derpy were so thrilled to watch the whole episode.
"Wow!" Pinkie said, "That was even better than the old show."
"It's all thanks to you," Derpy said.
Pinkie closed her eyes and squeed. 'Squee!' appeared.
THE END