Chapter 1: a conduit

A/N: I don't own Walking Dead. Reviews are welcome.

It is common knowledge that the easiest way to tell if someone is your soulmate is to lay a bare finger on their skin. The smallest hint of skin to skin contact, and what feels like pure electricity will race through your veins. It only happens when you come into contact with your soulmate, and is only supposed to happen once in your life. There are always exceptions to the rule.

It had happened for Rick the instant he had laid his hand on Lori's wrist, gentle and patient. All he had wanted was for her to look at him, and maybe he could ask her for coffee, even though he was wearing his cop uniform, getting ready for the academy training. The woman in front of him was stunning. Her dark hair curled wildly over her shoulders, and Rick had never seen anyone with such intense eyes.

He had rested his palm for the briefest moment on hers, stealing her attention away from the groceries in front of her. Instead of a brief conversation, Rick was hit with a pure shock of electricity to his veins, and the woman's back went ramrod straight as she whirled on him.

That was the first time Rick had touched his soulmate, but it wasn't the last.

It had happened again the moment Carl had latched onto his finger, squalling and pink. Rick had felt lightning bolt through him like he'd never experienced before, and he'd stared up at Lori, sweaty and disheveled. She hadn't felt it, but she was still glowing like the brightest sun, staring down at their baby boy.

Two soulmates: a wife and a son.

The system isn't perfect. Shane had been Rick's best friend for four years before he had ever touched Lori's skin. He had been helping her into the back seat of the squad car, still in his uniform. Rick was in the front, scribbling on some case notes. Shane had laid his palm on the back of Lori's neck, urging her not to bump her head as he had done with a thousand people before her.

The electricity jolted down his skin before he could think and Lori whirled around to face him. This time, there was horror in her eyes and wonder in Shane's. There were stories of course, of people who had two soulmates, or even more. Rick had said that Carl had been his soulmate the same as Lori, and though uncommon, it wasn't unheard of.

Some people had a best friend who was their soulmate, but Shane had always been compelling to her in a totally different way. Lori stared in his eyes from the backseat and forced her world to go quiet, only Rick's scribbling on a notebook making sound. She shook her head silently and Shane's eyes went dark.

She shut the door without a word, and they never spoke of it, not even after the world went to shit.

For Glenn, he had known before he even touched Maggie. It was easy to tell - her eyes were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life, and he knew that even if the telltale flinch didn't happen when he set his skin on hers, he would love her for the rest of his life, however long it would be.

Of course, the minute he kissed her in the pharmacy, they both felt it.

Maggie had pulled back incredulously, "You?" she had whispered.

Glenn had smiled, "Me."

It took them a while, but some things were meant to be.

Carol had never felt the spark before; she didn't believe she was capable of it. With Ed she had felt nothing except a low pulse of disgust and a large burden of expectation on her. Her parents had wanted her married off as quickly as they could, and when she fell pregnant it was an easy excuse to hand her off to another person too quick to raise his fist.

Every time Ed had pushed her around the only thing she had felt was fury; she curled around her rounded stomach and pressed every inch of love she had into the being growing inside of her.

Sophia was the truest love of her life, though, and Carol had never wanted anything more.

Carol has never been a hateful woman, not even towards Ed, not until he was dead and gone and she picked up that ax. Still, when Daryl snaps his arms around her like a band of steel, she hates him for it. All she can think about is Sophia: her face, her gnarled hair and dead eyes. She's never felt so buried in death and horror in all of her life, and she wants it to be over.

Carol has never wanted to die before, but she's also never watched her dead daughter walk out of a barn.

She screams and fights, but Daryl holds on tightly, snatching at her arms and stomach painfully. Carol, for all her fury and rage, doesn't entirely blame him. She wishes he would let her go so she could run to Sophia, let her daughter's teeth sink into her and take her into oblivion, but she doesn't blame him.

Carol also doesn't feel the way that Daryl flinches when his bare hands snap onto her skin. She thinks it's just sadness that makes him sink to the ground with her in his arms. He had tried just as hard to find her daughter, and Carol wouldn't blame him for a second for wanting to lie in the dirt and die as the gunshot rings out. Her entire body feels numb like she is just watching herself from a distance, not actually a part of anything that is happening.

By the time they get her off the ground, Daryl stalks away and Carol is in no mind to stop him.

"You don't understand," Daryl snarls at Rick, "it's stupid."

Rick frowns, "Daryl, you won't talk to us, you won't eat with us. You won't even speak to Carol anymore!"

Daryl wants to rip out his own hair at the mention of her name. It's obvious now, the way he had always watched after her and taken care of her whenever he thought she needed it. The way he had been so desperate and dead set on finding that daughter of hers.

Of course, he would feel the need to help his soulmate.

Daryl wants to kill something; Merle would be laughing his goddamn ass off right now if he was here. Daryl wouldn't even blame him, he would have laughed if the roles were reversed as well.

"I don't wanna speak to 'er," Daryl snaps, "We all got our own shit. I'm goin' hunting."

Rick doesn't stop him, but his eyes trail over Lori's frail form, skin and bones with her stomach starting to stretch in front of her. He can't afford for Daryl not to hunt, and they both know it. Rick says nothing when he walks away.

She tries to apologize to him, and Daryl nearly shoves her. He wants her to get the fuck away from him, but he also wants her by him. He feels torn apart inside his own skin, and Daryl's never felt like that before. He knows who he is; he might not always like it, but he's sure of it, and has been since he was six years old and had to grow the fuck up.

The horses are edgy at their confrontation.

"Fuck you, lady," Daryl says, but he still makes sure he gets close enough to touch her skin once again. Maybe it was only him - maybe she was his soulmate, but he wasn't hers?

Nothing. Nothing the second time for him either.

Maybe it was just all some fucking cosmic joke.

It all changes, after the farm goes up in flames. Carol has been coming back into herself. Daryl is still angry, but not at Carol. He's angry at the world, but he can't blame Carol for the fact that she didn't feel the electricity the way he did. It's not her fault she's his perfect match, and he's a piece of shit. He pulls her on the back of his bike and vows to protect her better than he ever did her daughter.

They're inseparable after that, and it's almost like he has a soulmate. They eat together, and Carol always watches out after him when he's gone hunting, making sure there's some semblance of dinner when he comes back.

Daryl's not even sure if he needs more. Carol is perfect and kind, and she always treats him with respect, even before the rest of the group started to realize he deserved respect too. Daryl is angrier at her piece of shit ex-dead-husband than he's ever been when he thinks about the fact that Ed managed to get a woman like Carol. No one deserves her.

When they reach the prison Daryl knows that it's somewhere they could stay, somewhere they could be safe. They clear it out, day by day, and Daryl fights with every thought of Carol in his mind. She's bantering with him now, coming more out of her shell every day. Sophia still lingers between them, but it's no longer a festering wound. Sometimes Carol shares stories and secrets about her daughter in the silence between them, and Daryl listens. Sophia's become something that is Carol's, always Carol's, but she shares her with Daryl. Daryl wishes he would have found her, because he loves her now, even without truly knowing her.

Sometimes, they do shifts taking watch in the guard towers together. Those are Daryl's favourite days, even more than the days he goes beyond the fences and spends time amongst the trees. He loves nature, has always been more comfortable under the sky than inside walls, but Carol's presence could make him change his mind.

She'll tease him, but it's not mean, and Daryl likes the way she flirts with him, even if all he knows how to say is 'stop'. He doesn't want her to stop. He doesn't ever want her to stop.

During the days they'll kill off the walkers around the fence, thinning the herd until it's manageable. It's a never ending battle, but it's a necessary one.

Carol is strong, unexpectedly, perhaps. Daryl has always suspected she has a core of steel; he remembers the way she had lifted the pickaxe up in her skinny arms and clobbered her dead husband until he was nothing but blood and flesh and bad memories. He has seen her pick herself up after Sophia died; Carol had been robbed of the only light in her life with her little girls death, and yet she still managed to go on.

He knows what she is because he recognizes it in himself. She's a survivor. Merle also had the same fire in his eyes even when they were younger, still living under their asshole of a father's roof. Merle didn't know how to quit; he didn't know when to stop talking, stop fighting, stop drinking. Daryl never fell into all that shit, but he's the same and he knows it.

He proves it a week later when Carol goes missing without a word, and Daryl just about loses his damn mind. It's even worse than with Sophia, he's so obsessed with finding her. It's an ache inside him that he's never felt before, and he wonders if this is what she felt like with Sophia out in the woods. He tears the prison apart, cell by cell, block by block. The others help, they want her back, too. Daryl doesn't stop. He goes out on his own, ignoring every word the rest have to say.

"It won't help her if you don't come back, Daryl." Rick's eyes, so tired after Lori's death, are haunted. Even Judith and Carl can barely bring the man a smile these days.

"It won't help her if I don't fuckin' look, Rick. So help me, or get outta my way." Daryl growls.

He's angry in a way the group hasn't seen since they left Merle on the roof. He snaps and snarls, and not even Lil Asskicker can calm him. He wants to start talking with his fists, but these people are his family, more than Merle ever was, and Daryl is many things, but he isn't his old man.

It takes nearly a week of searching, and Daryl is running on so little food and sleep he thinks he's hallucinating when a door won't stop tapping against it's frame. He slides to the floor because he's having a vision of Carol stumbling out of the door the same way Sophia did, and he can't handle that. Daryl realizes in that instant how much Carol must have hated him for forcing her to stay away and survive after her whole world had ended.

It makes him angry enough that he swings the door open, furious, and ready to kill. It doesn't even register for a moment when he sees her curled up in the corner of the closet, knife clutched in her limp fingers. She glances at him, delirious, and he just about cries. Daryl hasn't cried since he was thirteen and a fool. He rushes to pick her up and snuggles her close, relishing in the skin of her arms and face pressing into his.

"Daryl," she breathes, "I knew you'd find me."

He wonders if she even knows what she's saying, but it's still about the best damn thing anybody has ever said to him

She moves into his cell when Merle finds his way back to them. Daryl's not sure what to think; he's glad his brother is okay, but he had a good thing going at the prison. Merle is full of fury and survival instinct, and Daryl would like to say he doesn't know the feeling, but he spent long enough outside the prison walls to remember what that felt like. He actually thinks Merle might just respect him a little more, now.

Daryl knows Merle is bad news, but he also doesn't want to watch his brother disappear again. He's said it since the beginning, the only thing that can kill Merle is Merle, and self-destructive is one of Merle's more damaging traits.

Daryl is brooding on the bottom bunk in his cell, spinning a crossbow bolt over his knuckles as he thinks. He can hear Lil Asskicker being shushed by Beth's quiet voice in the main area, and quiet footsteps headed towards his room. He knows the sound of Carol's feet these days, so he doesn't bother getting up from his bed.

Carol waltzes in the door with a small backpack over her shoulder and a plastic bag in the other hand. She drops both on the opposite side of the wall, pulls her knife off her belt and tosses it up to the top bunk.

She glances at him as if to see what he thinks of all this, so Daryl just raises a brow. She half-shrugs and says, "Can't sleep with the baby."

He doesn't protest, and Carol clambers up to the top bunk and settles in. It's a load of shit; Carol hasn't slept well since before the world went to shit, and a baby wouldn't be the reason she was staying awake. Daryl's happy to be lied to, because it's easier for him to sleep with Carol's soft breathing echoing in the bunk above his.

Merle stays downstairs in his cell where he is confined, and he mostly keeps his comments to himself. For a while.

"Well, lil brother, I see you went and got yourself shacked up real nice," Merle drawls. Daryl is sitting across from him in Merle's cell, holding his crossbow. He doesn't have any bolts in here, he's just polishing and tuning it up. Merle is resting his head against the cement wall and looks to have no cares in the whole world. It's a practiced art, from many years of gambling and hustling; Merle doesn't have to look focused to see everything in the room.

"You don't know nothin' bout it," Daryl murmurs, keeping his eyes glued to his crossbow. He's never been good at lying, not the way Merle is, so he usually keeps quiet.

Merle chuckles, slitting his eyes open to watch his little brother, "She's a feisty one. Came in here and near took off my head that first day I got back."

Daryl pauses in his work for a fraction of a second, but it's too long. Merle notices everything.

"Ah! So you didn't know that, did ya, little brother?" Merle is smug, "she came in here and threatened me over you. It's obvious ya got a crush on her, too."

Daryl stays silent, even though he wants to scoff. A crush? Daryl wants to paint her name in the stars, wants to bring her the head of everyone who has ever wronged her.

Merle must read it in his expression. Everyone always says Daryl is hard to read, but not for Merle. He's been an open book for his older brother since he was a child.

"Ho-ly shit," Merle caws, "you fuckin' love 'er!"

"Shut yer damn mouth," Daryl snaps, "I ain't said no such thing."

Merle laughs, loudly, and Daryl can feel his ears turning red at the thought that the others are just short distances away.

"You didn't have to, Darlina," Merle grins, "but you know she already had a soulmate."

"That piece of shit wasn't her soulmate," Daryl grits out.

Merle nods, suddenly sober, "Sure. But neither are you, are ya?"

Daryl drops his crossbow to the table with a crash before he throws himself to his feet and marches out the door. He slams the cell shut on the way, feeling foolish. Merle's laugh taunts him all the way out of the prison walls, even as he climbs the guard tower as far from Merle as he can get.

When he steps onto the top level of the tower he's out of breath and still furious. Maggie is sitting by the window, alone. Daryl approaches loudly so he doesn't scare her, and he sits across from her, content to be silent and cool off. Maggie keeps her eyes on the window, watching for danger.

It takes her a long time to break their silence, and by the time she does Daryl's heartbeat is almost back to a normal rhythm.

"You know," Maggie starts, "I know you're not much on talking, but I would recommend choosing someone other than your brother to start with."

Daryl rolls his eyes, "I didn't choose to talk to 'im! He jus' knows how to get me mad."

Maggie smirks, "That's usually what siblings do." Her eyes soften as she glances down at the fields, where Beth is talking to Herschel, Glenn standing nearby. Her little family, all in a tidy circle.

"You know, Daryl, I can keep a secret," Maggie says.

Daryl scoffs, "Sure."

Maggie grins, "We all know Glenn can't keep his damn mouth shut. But I promise I could."

Daryl ignores her for a moment and stares down at the field again, where most of the group is working away. He spots Carol holding Judith, and talking with Carl. It seems that even so far away he can always find her as if an invisible force connects them.

He supposes, in a way, it does.

"She's my soulmate," Daryl says.

He doesn't mean to say the words, but he's not filled with regret after. Everyone knows Maggie and Glenn are soulmates, and she's as good as anyone else to talk to. Daryl doesn't really have anyone else to talk to — besides Carol herself.

Maggie's reply is a long time coming, "She's yours? And are you-"

"No." Daryl snaps quickly. He doesn't want to hear anyone say the words again you're not hers.

Maggie sighs, "I'm sorry to hear that, Daryl."

They sit in silence for a long time, watching their friends meander around the field, walkers milling about at the fence, mostly abated for the time being. Daryl wonders at their longevity here, if they could build a life and a family and be safe. Rick has been talking about farming, about creating a community and finding other survivors. Daryl knows it's what he wants since Lori's death: to create a place where Carl and Judith can be raised with some semblance of safety.

"You know," Maggie starts softly, "I always hated when people told stories that were hopeful when I felt like shit, but I'm still gonna do it to you. My mom and my dad loved each other more than anything on this green earth, and even my dad will tell you to this day that that is God's honest truth. And you know what, Daryl? They weren't soulmates. Dad met his soulmate when he was nine, and he hated her. He met my mom eight years later, and he never looked back. Mom never met her real soulmate. They were happy."

"That's real nice for them," Daryl muttered.

Maggie stood up, "Yeah, yeah. And I'm not saying you have to, but have you said anything to Carol? She obviously cares for you. Maybe she loves you, too. You don't have to be someone's soulmate to be the love of their life."

Maggie leaves after that, knowing she is unwelcome. Daryl almost misses her.

It all comes to a head about three weeks later. Merle has been let out of the cell for longer periods now, but everyone is still wary of him. Daryl hangs around him most of the time, not wanting anyone else to be responsible for his brother. Sometimes Carol comes with him, but most of the time she avoids Merle like the plague. Daryl doesn't blame her, he'd probably do the same if Merle wasn't his brother.

They've been clearing the last of the prison block, and Rick has been talking about going out to see if there are any other pockets of survivors left outside of their walls. They're talking about rebuilding, going forward.

Daryl ignores it all until Glenn comes back from a run with four new people. Tyreese is tough as nails, and Daryl wouldn't want to see who would win in a fight between Tyreese and Merle. His sister Sasha is just as tough but much friendlier.

Daryl doesn't mind them — they're good enough people, and they're happy to have a place that is free from walkers. Rick trusts them too quickly, as he is bound to do, but Daryl figures they're probably trustworthy when he sees the way they look at baby Judith. Tyreese damn near cries the first time he sees her, and Daryl doesn't quite understand why until Sasha chokes out "we haven't seen a baby since all this started. Didn't think there were any more babies."

He likes them more, after that. Lil Asskicker is a goddamn miracle, and anyone who can see that is alright in his books.

Carol likes them, too. She spends time finding clothes for Sasha from their stockpile from all their runs. Daryl walks by as Carol is laughing at something Sasha says, and he finds himself simultaneously jealous that someone can make her laugh like that, and in awe of the way she sounds so carefree.

That night, curled in his bed he says, "What was so funny today?"

Carol sighs happily, as if it's a good memory for her, "Oh, we were talking about things before. She's nice."

Daryl grunts, "She's alright."

"Tyreese seems nice, too," Carol answers, "I think they'll fit in well with us. I hope they stay."

It's those words: I hope they stay I hope they stay I hope they stay; they float around in Daryl's head long after Carol's started up her little snoring in the night. It's stupid, and Daryl knows it, but he doesn't like the way Carol said it. He doesn't like that Tyreese sees Carol the same way he does; she's strong, beautiful, safe. She's kind. She's good.

In the morning he's sitting on his bed with his crossbow in hand. He's got his vest on and a bag beside him full of rations. Carol clambers down to her feet, takes one look at him and sighs.

"You aren't going out there alone again, are you?"

Daryl frowns. He hadn't really thought she'd call him out on it. "I guess not. I'll take Merle."

Carol rolls her eyes, "Oh good. Because Merle is likely to bring you back in one solid piece."

Daryl stands and scowls at her, "Merle's got my back. He's an asshole, but he's been watchin' after me long 'fore all of this happened."

Carol nods, but her blue eyes don't leave his. She steps up and puts a hand out, resting it gently over his heart, the pads of her fingertips brushing against the skin of his collarbone. For a second Daryl's heart stops, waiting for the shock of electricity.

It doesn't come.

"Be safe," Carol says, before pulling her hand away and walking out the door. Daryl feels like she took his heart with her.

He's deep in the woods with Merle behind him, stepping carefully over dried out sticks. They're silent together, communicating with glances and hand motions. Daryl may not always like Merle, but they've been hunting since they were boys, and there's no one he trusts more in the woods. They move like they're one person.

They take down a buck, the first one they've seen in months. It's antlers are just coming in, and they're not huge. Once upon a time Daryl probably would have let it go, have another year to grow and fatten before he killed it. He doesn't have that kind of luxury now. They tie it up over Daryl's back and start marching back towards the prison. Daryl is in high spirits, the weight of the deer on his back reminding him that his family will eat this week, because of him.

The fence is in sight when Merle stops, and Daryl glances at him. Merle looks as though he's been thinking hard, the lines in his face carved deep and painful.

"You remember Andrea?" Merle starts, his voice softer than Daryl's ever heard it. Even when Merle is quiet, his voice is never gentle, not like it is right now.

"Yeah?" Daryl grunts, "Blondie. She shot me once."

Merle huffs a semblance of a laugh. "The first time I touched her I felt it."

It takes Daryl an embarrassing amount of time before he connects the dots, and when he does he nearly falls on his ass. Merle and Andrea?

"What?!" Is all he manages to spit out.

"Back at camp, when all this started. I pushed past her for some shit. Don't remember what. Near fell over from the shock of it. Like puttin' my finger in a socket but not painful."

Daryl can feel his mouth hanging open, an expression he doesn't think he's ever worn before, "Did she feel it too?"

Merle shrugs, "Nope. But I asked her, once, about if she had a soulmate or not."

Curiosity is eating Daryl alive, thinking about the fact that both he and his brother had soulmates who didn't have the same connection back, "Did she?"

Merle's eyes go soft, "Ya. She said she felt the shock the first time her baby sister grabbed her finger when she was jus' a little girl. When that girl died back at camp, I felt part o' myself die with Andrea. Most god awful thing I've ever felt."

"Siblings can be soulmates?"

Merle shrugged, "Yeah, 'course. Soulmates don't just mean romantic shit. Could be parents, siblings, cousins. Best friends."

"So why didn't you come back, after you got free," Daryl pointedly doesn't look at Merle's missing hand, "if you had Andrea back at camp?"

There's silence between them for a moment, space where the words Daryl is thinking hang between them - if it had been him and Carol, Daryl never would have left her alone.

Merle sighs, "She wasn't mine, Daryl. I was hers, and she was her sisters. I didn' wan' her to die, but more than that, I didn' wanna watch her die."

"What if you coulda saved her?" Daryl asks, voice soft. He's not angry — it's not Merle's fault Andrea died.

Merle starts walking again, "I dunno, Darlina. I jus' don't know."

The gate opens for them when Merle reaches it, and Daryl hauls the deer across the threshold, still staring at his brother's back.

The mood is celebratory when Daryl returns with the buck in tow, but he isn't in any type of state to join the crew. Rick grins and claps him hard on the shoulder when he sees all the food they'll have for a while, and he even shakes Merle's hand. Merle hasn't said a word since they got within the prison walls, and even now he goes back in his cell without comment.

Daryl climbs the stairs up to his room and finds Carol curled up on his bunk, sound asleep. He pulls the sheet they had hung across the cell doors closed as a makeshift door, and quietly settles his gear into it's regular spot on the floor. He pulls out a cleaner shirt and checks that Carol's still asleep before he quickly slips off his old one to pull on the new. No point being covered in deer blood now that he's home.

home.

It's a word Daryl's never really had before — he has said it, of course, referring to their old man's shack in the woods where he grew up. Still, homes are safe, and that place had never been safe. Even now, the prison isn't safe, nowhere is anymore, what with flesh eating monsters running around outside their gates. Still… it's secure, and it's filled with people Daryl trusts, which is more than he's ever had before.

Daryl heads outside without waking Carol, but not before tugging his blankets further over her shoulder, letting her nestle back into the warmth of sleep she needed. He goes for the guard tower, because it's second nature now to be there when he wants to think quietly.

Maggie is already up there, sitting idly and watching the entrance, doing her job at her post.

"Hey," she drawls, "saw you come back with Merle. Looks like you got a good haul with that buck. Thanks."

Daryl grunts, and Maggie doesn't say anything further. They sit together in silence, and Daryl starts to think that Maggie might be his second favourite person on this compound, the way she allows him his space.

"Can I ask ya a question?" Daryl's voice is raspy, and he hardly meant to even say anything at all, but now the words are out there.

"Of course."

Daryl breathes, long and slow. Minutes go by before he forces his words, "If Glenn hadn't — I mean, if you hadn't…"

Maggie cuts him off, saving both of them time and embarrassment. "The first time I felt the electricity was when I kissed him. I didn't know he was my soulmate when I decided I wanted to do that. It all came after."

"First time?"

Maggie looks at him, "Soulmates always feel the electricity, Daryl. It doesn't just go away."

Daryl doesn't reply, and he leaves shortly after feeling no less confused than he was when he got there.