So, this was born as a result of my distaste for Fifty Shades, the comparisons I've seen being made between RumBelle and Fifty Shades, and suggestions that RumBelle is an abusive relationship, which I completely disagree with. This story is very critical of Fifty Shades and its male protagonist, so if you like the book and the character of Christian Grey, you're not going to like this.

I do not own Once Upon a Time: it belongs to Adam, Eddy, and ABC, and Fifty Shades isn't mine either (I'd be embarrassed if it was). I'm just using it to make a point.

Objectionable

Rumplestiltskin smiled as he saw Belle sitting on the couch, a book in her hand. Since leaving the asylum, she'd discovered the canon of Western literature and dove in eagerly. There were unfinished books all over the house, but who was he to deny her her greatest pleasure when it was his greatest pleasure to have her here with him?

He smiled again and was about to leave her to her reading when Belle let out a noise that sounded anything but pleased.

'Belle?' he asked, 'is something wrong, sweetheart?'

She looked up at him, her lips forming a pout.

'It's this book,' she said: 'it's terrible.'

'What is it?' he asked, sitting on the couch beside her.

'It's called Fifty Shades of Grey: it's about this woman who begins a relationship with a man called Christian Grey in which he's dominant and she's submissive. I looked it up: there are supposed to be boundaries and communication and trust, but he's awful to her. They come up with this contract, but all he does is abuse her. And it's really badly written. It's just awful, Rumple. I don't know why anyone would read it.'

He could see she was disgruntled. Books were Belle's very favourite things, and finding a bad one was the only thing he knew of that could darken her mood.

'Where did you get it?' he asked her.

'Ruby suggested it. I don't know if she's even read it, but she and I and a few other women were going to discuss it over drinks at the diner, since the library isn't open yet, but I can't finish it, and would you believe there are two more books?'

Rumplestiltskin wrapped his arm around Belle and took the book from her hand. So, the wolf girl had suggested it, had she? Well, he'd just have to have a look at it and see what bothered Belle so much about it.

'How about we get rid of this and I make you a nice cup of tea, hmm?'

She smiled up at him. 'That would be wonderful: thank you, Rumple. I'm sure there's another book I can read to take my mind off that rubbish.'

'Well, why don't you read a bit more of this one?' he suggested, picking up Pride and Prejudice from the end table. 'You were enjoying Elizabeth and Darcy's banter, I believe.'

She smiled brightly. 'Oh, yes! That's just what I need.' Her smile turned soft. 'You remember what I've been saying about all these books?'

'Of course I do,' he returned: 'I love seeing you so animated.'

'I'm not boring you?'

He stroked her cheek. 'Never, my darling.'

She bit her lip and kissed him quickly.

'Thank you: I love you.'

'I love you too, sweetheart.'

He went to make her tea, taking the offending tome with him. Five minutes later, he brought her her tea, smiling at her smile as she was immersed in Austen's masterpiece. She wasn't so immersed, however, that she didn't notice him come in, and she reached up for a kiss as he set her tea down.

'Thank you, Rumple,' she murmured.

'Anything for you, my beautiful Belle.'

She blushed and smiled, and he left her to her reading, satisfied that she had a better book to occupy her now.

0

The man was scum, he decided, utter scum. No wonder Belle had been so disgusted with the story. The writing was diabolical, but it was the character of Christian Grey that he found most objectionable. Abusive, obsessive, controlling, insensitive: just a few of the words he would use to describe the man. He reminded him somewhat of a certain former sheriff he and Belle had met on the road many years ago, a man who would have used and abused Belle like she was some object, without care for her feelings. If Grey reminded him of that man, he was quite sure he reminded Belle of him too.

As for the so-called BDSM relationship, the book completely misrepresented what such relationships were truly about. Rumplestiltskin had a pretty good understanding of what such relationships involved, and knew enough to know that what was represented in this book wasn't BDSM, but abuse cloaked in those terms. He was appalled and angry that the wolf girl should inflict this trash on Belle.

Oh, he knew Belle could determine the kinds of books she wanted to read for herself, and he would never tell her not to read something: he'd never tell her not to do anything, period, because Belle knew her own mind and he loved her for that, but he was annoyed that Belle's sensibilities had been offended by this rubbish. If ever anyone believed in equality and partnership, it was Belle. He knew the idea of a relationship based on dominance and submission itself wouldn't necessarily offend her, because at its heart was supposed to be a sense of trust and understanding and communication between partners, but what would offend her – what did offend her – was the man in this book setting up this abusive arrangement that hurt the woman involved. She wasn't an equal, she was an object to be used and abused as he saw fit, and he wasn't interested in her consent or her feelings. That neither Belle nor Rumplestiltskin could condone.

He'd been reading the book, scowling at it, when Belle came into the kitchen.

'You're reading it?' she asked, surprised.

'I wanted to see what upset you so about it,' he replied, 'and it's very clear.'

'Isn't it awful?' she asked.

'It is,' he agreed.

'I wonder how Ruby will react when I tell her I hated it.'

'Well, if she's read it herself, hopefully she's seen how bad it is, and how… problematic.'

'That's a good word.'

'I can think of far less diplomatic ones, but in case your new friend actually likes the book, it might be good to go for diplomacy.'

'I'll try,' she said, 'but it really is dreadful.'

He nodded and smiled a little. Oh, he knew how fiery his Belle could be, and gods help anyone who riled her up.

0

Ruby smiled as Belle came in with Gold.

'Hey,' she greeted, 'so, we're all set for tomorrow night,' she said brightly.

Belle looked a little uncomfortable, she noticed.

'About that…' she began.

'Something wrong?' Ruby asked, flicking her eyes over to Gold as he stood to the side, leaning on his cane.

'I'm afraid so,' Belle said, and reached into her purse. 'This book is…really terrible, Ruby. I'm sorry, but I just can't finish it. I have so many objections to the man in this story that it's making me angry to read it. Plus, it's really poorly written.'

As she finished speaking, she put the book on the counter and pushed it across to Ruby.

Ruby picked it up and looked it over.

'Have you read it yourself?' Belle asked a little meekly.

'Not yet,' Ruby said, 'and I'm not sure I want to now. It's really that bad?'

'Ruby, it's appalling,' Belle said, warming to her subject: 'that Christian Grey is abusive and cruel, and it just makes me so uncomfortable to think that people like this story and him. I would never want to be around a man like that.' And Belle shuddered delicately.

Gold had been quiet and unmoving until that happened, but now he was by Belle's side, one arm wrapping around her waist.

He was crooning softly to her, and Ruby heard him whisper 'sweetheart', and Belle looked up and smiled lovingly at him.

Ruby wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it for herself a number of times by now, but the fearsome Mr Gold, the notorious Dark One himself, was a real softie when it came to Belle. The man clearly adored her.

'I'm sorry, Belle,' she apologised: 'I didn't know it would be so bad.'

'It isn't really your fault, Ruby,' Belle said.

'I just thought it would be a fun book to talk about.' She looked from Belle to Gold, realising that he might not believe her and might very well turn her into something unpleasant for introducing Belle to a book that upset her.

'If you hadn't read it, you could hardly have known that it would raise objections and cause upset,' he said, surprising Ruby with his understanding.

'Did you read it?' she asked then, suddenly sensing that he had.

'Parts of it,' he admitted, shooting her a dark look, 'and all I can say is that Christian Grey is lucky he's fictional.'

'What would you do to him if he weren't?' Ruby asked, interested.

'Something very unpleasant,' he said darkly, 'to him and other abusive scum like him.'

Ruby nodded, seeing that he was deadly serious. He'd probably turn him into a snail or something like that. Or maybe he'd make the punishment fit the situation and castrate him: Ruby wouldn't put it past the man, not having seen the look on his face just now. For all his ruthlessness, all his Machiavellian scheming, Gold was apparently a man who understood how women should be treated and who was offended if a man behaved in a less than gentlemanly manner. It would probably surprise most people to realise that he was a gentleman, but Ruby had seen him with Belle, and she knew that was exactly what he was, and she was pretty sure Belle wouldn't be happy to stay with him if he wasn't: she was a woman who knew her own mind after all.

'Can we get a tea, a coffee, and two slices of apple pie, please?' Gold asked, drawing her out of her thoughts.

'Sure,' she returned: 'take a seat and I'll bring it right over.'

'Thank you, Ruby,' Belle said, smiling.

She smiled again as Rumplestiltskin pushed in her chair for her.

'That book bothered you too, didn't it?' she asked softly.

He nodded. 'Men who do things like that deserve a fitting punishment,' he said simply.

Belle reached for his hand. 'I'm very lucky to be in love with and be loved by a man who respects me as a person, who'd never behave like I was his possession to play with and hurt like in that book.'

She smiled tenderly. 'I knew the moment I saw that look of horror on your face when that man wanted to buy me for information back in our land that you weren't like a lot of men. You're a true gentleman, Rumple.'

She remembered Rumple's incredulous 'she's not for sale' when that loathsome man wanted a night with her in exchange for information about the thief who had stolen from Rumple. She would never forget the feeling of safety and protection Rumple's words had elicited in her. She knew he would never take advantage of her in that way, never use her body for his pleasure without her consent.

'Oh, don't remind me of that worthless idiot, Belle: I could have killed him for that comment.' He squeezed her hand and made himself relax. 'It's enough for me that you know that I would never treat you as some possession or object for my own amusement and pleasure.'

'I do know that,' she told him, smiling.

'Here we go,' Ruby said, approaching with their order: 'apple pie, tea, and coffee.'

'Thank you, Ruby,' Belle said brightly.

'No problem. I was thinking…we could talk about another book if you wanted?'

Belle's eyes lit up. 'Actually, there is a book I would like to talk about. It's called Pride and Prejudice: have you heard of it?'

Ruby smiled. 'Yeah, I have: must've read it at least ten times.'

'Isn't it wonderful?' Belle asked. 'I haven't gotten to the end yet, but I'm thinking that Lizzy and Darcy must get together, right?'

Ruby held her hands up. 'No spoilers!'

Belle laughed. 'Alright then: I'd better hurry up and finish it. Oh, but I left it at home.' And she made a little noise of discontentment.

'Not a problem, sweetheart,' Rumplestiltskin said, waving his hand. The book appeared in a swirl of dark blue smoke and Belle beamed at him.

'Thank you, Rumple!' she cried in delight, picking up the book. 'I'll finish it after we're done here,' she said, tucking the book safely into her purse.

Ruby smiled. 'Well, enjoy your pie. Belle, I'll see you tomorrow night?'

'Yes,' Belle said: 'I'm really looking forward to it.'

'Good.' And Ruby left the couple to their dessert.

The copy of Fifty Shades of Grey was still sitting on the counter. She'd planned on reading it herself after her shift this afternoon, but Belle and Gold's reaction to it had made her change her mind. She picked the book and tossed it into the garbage, where it belonged.

And there we go. Had to write that. I just had to convey how appalling I believe Belle and Rumple would find that book and how Rumple is the complete antithesis of Christian Grey. Thanks for reading.