(A/N) IT'S FINALLY HERE! After months of planning, and writing, and rewriting, and editing, and beta reading followed by more editing, then more planning, I have finally finished the debut chapter of the "The Life the Girls of Monster Musume Deserve"! May I present to you (drum roooooll) "When a Pervert Joins the Exchange Program"! I can promise you the wait will be SOOOO worth it. I am so satisfied with how this worked out.
Aside from the constant stroking of my own ego (giggity), I intentionally made these chapters a bit shorter than the ones in "War of Onyx and Aber" so I would (hopefully) be able to update them a bit quicker, as well as making it flow a bit more fluidly. Also, I don't know if I've been clear on this in the original manuscript, but this won't be set on a clear update schedule until I finish my main story. I will be updating it, but the schedule will be sporadic at best, and perennial at worst. No, not one update a year- I'm not a monster. Just freakishly infrequent.
Something else I want you all to keep in mind is that this story will not feature the cast of MonMusu as the primary characters. They will show up every once in awhile as cameos, but the cast for this story is completely original. However, if you guys have any ideas for characters that you'd like me to put in as supporting or background characters, feel free to PM me and we'll talk!
That said, I'm going to open this story with the same greeting I opened the last one with: enjoy this little diddy you rat bastards. I love you all.
Chapter 1
Pom! Pom! Pom!
His knuckles were starting to bleed, but he kept pressing forward.
Papa pom!
With each new combo, came a new pain, and yet he couldn't find himself stopping. He craved this type of injury. Even through the bandages wrapped around his hands, his skin beneath split open and painted the gauze red, peppering the punching bag in front of him with splotches of what he called hard work.
Thwack!
Boxing was a good start, but relying on one simple style was the best way to guarantee you would lose a fight, especially when you were trying to go pro. Throwing a few kicks wasn't just fun for Theo, but necessary.
Off to the side in his basement, lying on the chair next to the lightweight, an alarm began blaring and Theo stopped his tirade mid-strike to jump away. Turning down the music in the heavy metal band Five Finger Death Punch in the background, the amateur fighter clicked off the incessant noise and danced over to the side, hardly even breaking a sweat over the past few hours since today had been focused on light cardio. He felt good. He loved easy days because he didn't feel like collapsing shortly afterwards, and grinning as he put his way blonde hair up in a top knot, he reached inside the mini fridge in the corner and pulled out a protein shake, downing it easily.
"You're over extending," said a voice off to the side, "If you keep throwing your punches too hard, you're going to leave yourself open for a counter strike or a clinch. I know you're trying to do some damage, but not only are you breaking your knuckles every time you do it, you're going to leave your core open."
Letting out a satisfied "ahh" as he finished chugging his supplement, Theo gave his coach a grin, a younger man who was shorter than his son, and the only signs of age being crow's feet by his eyes and a sun bleached face, and waved him off. Theo had smile that was just too wide for his face, leaving a permanent smirk on the corner of his lips.
"Aw, come on, Dad!" Theo whined jokingly, "It's not like that's going to be the thing that beats me. My style is built entirely around counters, throws, and how to break them, so even if my opponent does hip toss me, I'll get the high ground within seconds." Papa Beneventi pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
"I'm really looking forward to the day you get beaten and come to your senses," the older man groaned, knowing that in any other circumstance, that that would have earned a call from child protective services, "I know you're not going to jump into the pro circuit until you turn 21, but if you don't lose the cocky attitude in that two years, you're not even going to win the first round."
"Well, if you'd let me compete in amateur competitions before then…" Theo let that statement hang in the air as he began a series of side jumps to try to keep his burn going, Indestructible by Disturbed coming on as the previous song ended.
"If you didn't hear me a second ago, you're only nineteen and already skilled enough to get scouted by professional talent agents in the UFC," Theo's father reiterated flatly, "No one in your age and weight bracket is anywhere close to your level outside the professional octagon, so they wouldn't be worth your time."
"He wants me to know my limits, but won't let me test my limits," Theo said sarcastically with a sly shake of his head, throwing a few rounds of shadow boxing, "Because that makes perfect sense. Try sticking to coding, Dad, because practical logic just doesn't seem to agree with you."
"Ha, ha, ha," the older man laughed dryly, "Just get back to work."
Theo shrugged and rolled his shoulders a few times to loosen back up before stepping back over to the punching bag. Standing off to the side, Papa Beneventi reset the timer for a minute and a half, and sounded off the starting bell for Theo to start another barrage, hopefully breaking the bag this time. It only took one combo for another visitor to step in.
"Mom! Why?" Theo groaned at length, "You had to turn it off right in the middle of the song?!"
"Woman!" Theo's father snapped, but the soft smile on his face let his wife know the attack was one of rough affection which she shared her son's coy smile at, "We're in the middle of training! I'm assuming this is important?"
"All you guys do all day is train," Theo's mother said harshly, wrapping her son in a tight hug, "Don't you think he's earned a break? At least for today?"
"Hurk! Mom!" Theo panicked, tapping her elbow lightly.
"Eep! Sorry!" The woman laughed as she released the hold she had on her son, watching the color return to his face as the air flow opened up again.
"I don't mind getting a few rounds in before you guys leave," Theo admitted, rubbing his neck lightly, "It's been a pretty slow day for me. This is the easiest I've had it in months, and I've forgotten how fun beating the crap out of the bag could be. Let me enjoy this!"
"Hmm… OK!" the matriarch allowed, waving a piece of paper in the air as she began to walk off, "I guess you don't want to hear about your application results then?" She smiled triumphantly when she felt the envelope get stolen from her.
"I didn't say that," Theo said excitedly, tearing the parsel to shreds but making sure to keep the contents in tact, "Why didn't you say you had this a second ago?!"
"You guys yelled at me when I came downstairs!" the woman whined. Rolling his eyes, the father of the family wrapped his arms around his wife's shoulders and gave a quick peck on the cheek, nuzzling his way through her chest length greying hair, making the woman giggle. Most children would have been disgusted by that, but Theo found it cute. It showed everyone that their marriage was still going strong.
"Why did you even apply for the exchange program anyway?" Theo's father asked genuinely.
"Because if you guys are going to be overseas for six months working on some random French company's internet security, I don't want to be in this house alone for that time," Theo admitted, "It would drive insane. More importantly, I don't want to stay with any of our family for that time. We can barely stand each other during the holidays, so I'm pretty sure it would take at least a week before we'd end up trying to kill each other."
"Didn't Greg say you could stay with him?" Mama B noted as her son scanned over the papers, remembering the offer a close friend of the family made last time he was over for dinner.
"Yes, but he's hosting that inari girl now, and I don't really want to intrude," Theo explained, "That means the only option is the… Exchange… Program…"
The statement died on his tongue. Halfway through reading the paper, he pulled off a bit of sticky tack sealing a portion of the letter shut, and then a series of papers unfolded from the original until the letter was more than twice as long. His previous gleeful grin was gone. Even his unending smirk had been replaced by an emotionless pallor as he stared at the parchment he held in front of him. If one looked just closely enough, you could see left eye twitching like he was about to start laughing. Instead of giving into the humor of it, though, he dropped the letter on the ground where he was standing, and paraded upstairs to his room without a single word. Curiously, his parents glanced at one another and picked it up.
Once he was safely in his room, the door closed and the athletic tape safely removed from his battered hands, he pulled up a nearby chair, propped his feet up on his desk and silently examined the ceiling, thinking to himself. That's why they denied him? All for that one reason? Sure, that one minor detail had nearly two pages explaining why that one thing was a bad enough to nearly put him on a government watch list, but declining his application for such a simple thing was ridiculous. Theo found it so peculiar, it was almost funny. In fact, it was outright hilarious, and so much so that he began laughing hysterically in his seat.
If he was ever asked the question, Theo wouldn't deny he was a pervert. If someone accused him, he would accept the title not unlike a badge of honor, making it seem like something that he wasn't ashamed of. He even had a list of go-to responses. Things like "you're not wrong," or "and in other news, water is wet," made up his usual retorts when someone pointed that out. Trying to deny he was a pervert was a battle he wasn't willing to have. If he was going to bother to lie about something, or even try to bluff his way out of the label, he felt that the lie had to be remotely believable.
One look at his internet history could tell you that that wasn't believable.
In hindsight, he knew that he would never have been able to convince the international government into letting him host an extraspecies family because the minute they did a background search on him and dug through his computer, all of the kinky files and websites he had been to would definitely have scared them off. Particularly when most of the girls were as "passionate" as they were charitably described as. Thinking he'd be accepted by the ISEP was ridiculous.
"I see you're having a fun time," Theo's mother noticed, stepping inside the door.
"Hey, Mom," Theo greeted, his smile falling and sitting forward in his chair uncomfortably.
"So, they didn't take you in, huh?" the woman asked.
"Nope," Theo grimaced, knowing where this was going.
"That's quite a big search history you have there," his mom said hesitantly, wanting to breach the subject but unsure how.
"Yeah…" Theo muttered tightly, clenching his teeth.
"What exactly is spider hentai?" the woman asked casually, but instead of answering, Theo shot his head up to her with a pleading look.
"We'll be leaving soon, OK?" she changed the subject, giggling through the hand she slapped over her mouth, "We'll call you when we meet our layover, and then when we move into the home we'll be staying in once we get to France, we'll see if we can figure out a living situation for you."
Silently, Theo nodded and closed the door behind her, seeing her out politely. With one glance at his clock, he did the math and knew that they wouldn't need to catch their taxi for the nearby airport for another hour or so, so with nothing better to do, Theo opened up his laptop and began looking up M rated fiction on his favorite fanfiction sites. After all, he did have a bit of time to kill before he needed to help them with their bags.
(...)
"Damn you, Pavlov," Theo muttered under his breath as he gave the kind woman with several piercings and dyed green dreadlocks his last dollar.
The martial artist would consider himself a moral absolutist. He always made sure he lived his life in a way where he could lay his head down at night and be happy with himself, that he could look at himself in the mirror and be satisfied with what he saw. Even more importantly, every decision he made was always thought through. Every single thing he did, every single thing he said, or bought, or posted on the internet, he never regretted because he knew he was justified by it. It was how he was raised.
The problem with the difference of right and wrong being drilled into your head from birth, however, is that it conditions you to take care of others before you take care of yourself. It was Pavlov's Dogs brought to life, showing the results of Operant Conditioning. Theo had brought that one single dollar, the only cash he had to his name until his parents wired him some money, so he could buy his favorite spiced lemonade at the park he was jogging in, but the minute he saw someone panhandling, his compassionate nature got the better of him.
Even though he knew he did something good, why did it make him feel so… rotten?
Grumbling the whole time, disappointment-induced fatigue weighing him down, he walked at a brisk pace towards a trail leading to the park's woods. There was a water fountain down there in the middle of a molded picnic area. Maybe it was because the structure was right next to a small stream and covered with moss, but it was the only fountain in the entire park that had cold water, and Theo saw it as a gift from God.
As he partially suffocated himself trying to quench his thirst, he froze tensely, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end with a chill running down his spine. Lightning struck out from the tips of his fingers and toes. Most people wouldn't know what that feeling came from, but after training his instincts for years, he was all too familiar with it. Someone was watching him.
His heart was pounding in his ears. Since he didn't need a shirt to jog a few miles, the only thing on him that he might have been able to use as a weapon was his watch that his lips brushed against as he wiped his mouth. Maybe a fallen branch or a rock, if he was lucky. However, he didn't want to look too alert. Any anxious moves would let the person who was watching him know that he was aware of their presence. Calmly, he glanced this way and that without moving his head. Pivoting around, he began to walk back down the path, keeping his shoulders tight and his chin tucked in case someone jumped him, keeping his senses heightened, but then something rather neat caught his eye.
Off to the side, there was a thick cord of white scales coiled tightly around a tree trunk. Black spots like a jaguar's blazed across the limb. Following it up, and seeing where the twenty foot long tail ended, his mind was put completely at ease when he saw what had made him so nervous.
"You uh… You having fun up there?" Theo asked the girl, sporting a sassy smile at her predicament. She was a… lamia, he thought? No, that didn't seem right. Her arms were covered in thick scales, her hands were clawed like a demon. Maybe she was a subspecies of lamia?
"Yeah, it's nice up here! The cold air up here is pleasant in the summer!" snapped the girl in a thick, Irish brogue. Theo nodded, thinking that the raggedy bright red hair trailing down her back made more sense now.
"Pretty good view?" he offered.
"Where I'm standing, yes, you thick piece of man meant! Care to join me?!" The line was incredibly flirty but laced with nothing but spite. Theo took a moment to think about what we wanted to say before he let out another word, trying to keep his blush down.
"You're stuck up there, aren't you?"
"I am not!"
"You need a hand?"
"Maybe…"
He shook his head. He had known this girl for all of three seconds, but if he had to describe her in one word as of yet, he would say she was a kind of an idiot. He really didn't know how this girl functioned. Come to think of it, if a lamia subspecies was stuck in a tree when lamias are known to be great climbers, he could only assume she wandered too far from her caretaker. Fortunately climbing trees was something he did all the time as a kid, and being in such good shape had him up to her in a matter of seconds, sitting on the branch opposite hers and making sure he didn't hurt her tail on the way up.
Leaning against the trunk and trying to ignore the bark cutting into his skin, he looked at her with a raised eyebrow. She had a doubting expression, her brow arched as her autumn colored eyes looked him up and down, but when she saw the teasing look he was giving her, her pupils of all things narrowed at him. Scoffing slightly, he gave her a once over. He couldn't tell much about her body with her scrunched up against the tree as she was, but he could see more of her now than he could on the forest floor. A few bobby pins held her hair back, making him able to see every single freckle on her cheeks uninhibited. Her lips were a dark scarlet, almost blood colored, but the color was natural, and speaking of makeup, she had plenty of glittery mascara and crusted eyeliner over her eyes, only making her glare more intimidating.
If she was actually intimidating, that is. That ship had sailed the minute Theo figured out she was too scared to get out of the tree by herself. If they had met in any other circumstance, though, her cold gaze and cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass would have given her a terrifying vibe.
"So!" Theo said far too happily, "How are you?"
"Peachy, thanks for asking," the girl replied flatly.
"Oh! Good to know!" he teased her, his overly cheerful tone persisting, "Glad to hear that you're not embarrassed by being a snake who doesn't know how to climb." He flinched when he felt her tail wrapping around his leg threateningly, but she decided against risking a fall and pulled it back.
"Hey! I'm a water snake!" she claimed, followed by a string curses that would have made her homeland proud. After a minute, her anger died down.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed…" Theo apologized, breaking eye contact. His sarcasm had immediately broken and gave way to a gentle tone, so the girl eyed him carefully again, but this time, in a different light.
"You don't talk to lamias very often, do you?" she asked lightly. Theo turned to face her again, his eyebrow arching just a bit.
"No?" he responded quietly, "They're not very common around the United States. Most of the liminal species around the area are more mammalian or avian like inaris, kobolds, or harpies. There are a lot of people who do have reptilian and insectoid species, but the families that host them usually work in zoos or conservation areas where those species would be more comfortable."
"And snakes don't bug you?" she asked quickly, her coils loosening up and letting off a subtle rattle from the motion of such a large body. Her golden claws even let go of the trunk and she sidled closer to Theo's side, leaning against the tree more comfortably than before.
At this angle, he could tell more about her. Up top, she was wearing a pure white blouse whose buttons were low enough for him to see an ample bust that was easily a DD cup, and below, she was sporting a denim skirt with a few strategically placed tears here and there, as well as a frayed hem, making it more stylish. On her left wrist was an apple watch, but on her right was a single bracelet made of shells. All of this accented nicely with her spiral gauges in her ears, giving her face a softer appearance than her sharp features previously allowed, as if the accessories were a conscious effort to make her appear nicer.
Focusing more on what she said, he turned to her, pulling his knee up to his chest with his brow furrowed tersely.
"Have you had some kind of trouble since you've been in the States?" he asked, but when she didn't answer and only stared at him blankly, he answered her question, "The way I see it, you could have been a six hundred foot tall purple platypus with pickles for teeth, and I still would have treated you like I would treat anyone else. So what if you look differently than me? A different race, religion, or even a different species doesn't change the fact that you're still a person." He gave her a sarcastic grin. "As long as you promise not to strangle me with your tail and swallow me whole, I have no reason to hate you."
The snake girl giggled with her fingers shooting up to her cheek cutely, then narrowed her eyes at him seductively, speaking slowly.
"Fine, I won't eat you, but…" she paused for a second, "I can't promise that strangling you is out of the question."
"Is that a kink of yours?" he shot quickly, his wolfish grin hitting her hard. She shook his head at him.
"You don't waste any time, do you?"
Theo could only laugh awkwardly. He had no idea where that came from, but cursed his verbal filter for not catching it.
"I'm Dagny," she introduced herself, "You?"
"Theo Beneventi," he said proudly, "It's nice to meet you!"
"You too," Dagny said through a laugh, having become comfortable enough to let her tail drape around the branches lazily and turn around so her back was leaning against the trunk, "So, here's a thought for you. Do you normally go around climbing trees with monsters that you're worried might kill you?"
"The answer to the question relies heavily on if you're going to kill me or not," Theo shot back readily.
"Haven't decided yet," Dagny said just as quickly.
"In that case, no," Theo admitted, "Normally, if I'm climbing a tree with anyone, it's more often to rescue one of those human type of monsters? What are they called…? Oh yeah! Children."
Dagny belted out a laugh so hard she almost fell out of the tree. Truth was, Theo rarely ever climbed, even if it was for training, but he figured that if it was for the sake of the joke, a small lie didn't really matter.
Her laugh was adorable, and contagious. He was tempted to crack a few more lines like that, but he knew when to quit. Plus, sitting there and doing nothing more than chat with her was nice. She was an energetic personality, lighting up the woods with her cheery rants, her hands flailing this way and that violently with the same fire as her words. He had only been sitting with her for a few minutes, but now she seemed like a totally different person. When he first broke the ice, she was cold to him, like she was trying to scare him off so she could work out of the trap she set for herself on her own, but after he got her to relax, she was the physical embodiment of passion. She wouldn't sit still, and she spoke so quickly that Theo had to wonder if she had stopped to breath even once. Dagny was quite the show. He could have sat there and listened to her all day.
Eventually, however, a group of government issued suits came around looking for her, and she crawled down the tree head first without any issue, contradicting her previous statement about being a water snake. Jumping down from his perch, Theo made sure to see her off. Unfortunately, he was only half listening to what was going on around him, more focused on Dagny than anyone else and unaware of the gaze one of the agents had on him. She was a brown skinned woman, her hair as straight as her skirt halfway down her back, and bandages covering most of her exposed flesh, sunglasses over her lifeless, gray eyes. A hooked staff as long as her legs was in her hand, thrumming with power. She was sizing up Theo like she wanted to roast him alive, all the while chewing out Dagny for separating from the group.
Theo, however, couldn't take his eyes off of the lamia he had been chatting with. He wasn't sure what to think of her- other than that she was freaking hot, of course, but that was besides the point. Was she cute? Spicy? Bubbly? Was she a thug underneath a mask of great fashion, or was she a megalomaniacal mastermind posing as a basic white girl? He still thought she was an idiot, but she struck as someone he wanted to get to know.
From the little Theo had gathered, she was probably all of the above. It was too bad he was never going to see her again.
(A/N) Like I said, I LOVE how this turned out. I could easily see this version of the story getting more popular than the original once I update a few more chapters and flesh out the story a bit more.
What did you guys think about Theo? I ended up modeling him after my main character on the novel I'm working on, Dalton, so he is one hundred percent the same character, but with one major difference- different environments. Theo has been fortunate enough to live a very privileged life, wanting for nothing, so he seems to have everything together and even gathered a kind of prideful personality because of it. Dalton, on the other hand, is an oppressed individual thanks to the circumstances of his birth, and has become a societal delinquent because of it. They're both sarcastic as all Hell, but while Theo is a genuinely kind person, even for often ulterior motives, and with an occasional arrogant streak, Dalton is very cautious around those he doesn't know, loyal to the one's he does, and uses sarcasm as a shield.
They're just the EXACT same character under different stimuli, and it shows. Theo never had a reason to stand up for himself, and has the confidence to match someone who was handed things his entire life. Dalton, on the other hand, has had to do nothing but fight, despite living in what is arguably an even more privileged lifestyle.
I'm kind of a fan of contradictory characters like that.
My own excitement aside, Dagny is one of my favorite OCs that I've written for MonMusu. I originally created her because I love the idea that lamias and lamia sub species wrap around their partners when they sleep at night, and that kind of cuddling sounds very appealing to me, as well as an irish girl with an attitude, but eventually, Dagny took on a life of her own and became more of a fleshed out character than most I've created. Granted, this is the first chapter, so you're not inclined to see why until the story continues.
As for the next few girls, first of all, yes, this is obviously going to be a harem and I am going to base it on a few tropes like "motherly figure," "sporty girl," "childhood friend," "the utter moron," but I've never been satisfied with the old tropes since it seems like, if you can describe your character in one archetype like that, they need more work. That said, I'm going to evolve those tropes to make something new with each character. Essentially, what I'm saying is that these characters will spawn the ultimate flame war over who Best Girl is. I want each and everyone of them to be likeable to a majority of people for one reason or the other, and that you don't feel attracted to them because of their species or a single personality trait, but because you feel you already have a relationship with them because of how real they seem to you.
As for Theo, keep in mind, this is the first chapter. Right now, I've established that he IS a pervert, if you want to see how that affects his daily life and how he treats the girls, well, you'll just have to wait until the next chapter.
I'll see you all in the next update! It's good to be back my Wholesome Hosts.