A/N: I'm just in serious need of some Harvey & Mike friendship fic and was hoping to write something on the light end of angsty before delving into the final part of Running Up That Hill.
Disclaimer: I don't own Suits or Birdy
Mike was settled on his couch, a cold glass of coke in one hand, the last of the Harry Potter books in the other (because no he hadn't read it yet, a little something called working his ass off being a lawyer had gotten in the way) when there was a knock at his apartment door.
He sighed as he kicked his legs off the couch, glancing at the clock on the wall above the picture of his grandma at her seventy-seventh birthday party last year. He frowned slightly as he got up and the knock sounded again.
"Coming," he called out, wondering who it could be. He knew it wasn't Harvey or Donna. Not only was it their first day off in over two weeks, but he was due at Harvey's apartment in just over a half an hour for movie night. It had become something of a tradition to decompress after a tough case with a movie marathon and Harvey's giant TV and he had to admit, he was looking forward to it more today even than usual.
A New Yorker through and through, Mike checked the peephole before opening the door, but he wasn't expecting who he saw on the other side.
"Jenny," Mike said sounding a little bit breathless when he opened the door. "What are you-" he stopped himself and cleared his throat, continuing calmly. "It's good to see you."
And it was. She looked good, like always. But the nervous pull on her mouth and the tight grip she had on her bag indicated she wasn't making a social call.
She smiled a small, anxious smile that made his gut twist. "Hi Mike."
They stood staring at each other for a moment before Mike seemed to come back to himself and backed up, swinging the door further open.
"Do you want to come in?"
"Um, if you're not," she glanced over his shoulder slightly and then looked back at him, "busy?"
It occurred to Mike suddenly that she was probably looking for Rachel and he shook his head.
"No. Come in."
Jenny nodded and looked at the floor, stepping just far enough inside the apartment for Mike to close the door behind her.
"So um…" Mike shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged.
Jenny flicked her hair off her forehead and readjusted her grip on the strap of her bag.
"What am I doing here?" She finished his statement from previously. She nodded and swallowed hard, shifting on her feet a little bit. "I um…I need to tell you or uh…yeah. I need to tell you something."
"Ok." Mike nodded and waited. But Jenny didn't speak immediately, instead her eyes bounced around the room and she shifted again.
Mike smiled lightly, pulling his hands from his pockets to shove the sleeves of his red sweater up to his elbows. "C'mon Jenny, whatever it is it can't be that big of a deal."
Jenny tried to return the smile but it came across skittish and false.
"Yeah," she whispered to herself. Then with a deep breath, looked up at him. Mike didn't even get a chance to wonder if that was bravery or fear on her face before she spoke.
"I'm late."
He frowned, trying to connect the dots Jenny presumably had drawn.
"Late for what?"
"Mike." Jenny sighed. "I'm. Late." She repeated, emphasis on the 't'.
"Yeah Jenny I heard-" Mike's eyes widened as her words registered and hit home, his brain screeching to a halt and then jump starting to life again like a resurrected car battery. "Jenny? Oh God." His gaze bounced frantically between her stomach and her face and back again.
"Mike."
"Do you mean?" He stopped short and put his hands halfway out toward her and then pulled them back again, pushing them through his hair and down his face. "Jenny are you saying-"
"Mike."
He felt hands on him and realized he'd closed his eyes. He opened them and saw her face looking a few shades paler than usual.
"Just calm down, okay? Don't panic. I don't know for sure yet. I need to take a test…or five." She grumbled the last part to herself as she pulled his hands down, clasping them in hers. "I wanted you to go with me. You know, if you want?"
Mike licked his lips and swallowed hard. He did actually and it was so like Jenny to know that about him.
"Yeah. Yeah, I," he nodded, "I'd like that." He took a deep breath and nodded at the questioning look she threw at him. "I'm good."
Reaching for his jacket on the back of the couch, he waved her toward the door. "There's a drugstore on the corner."
The next thing Mike knew they were standing in what he liked to call the 'awkward' aisle at the corner drugstore. The aisle full of feminine products (of which there were a plethora) and some sorts of washes and cleansing cloths with packages in shades of pinks and purple that told him to steer clear and, of course, pregnancy tests.
"This one is supposed to be 30% more accurate than…" Mike stopped when movement to his right caught his attention and he looked over to find Jenny had overloaded herself with at least a dozen pregnancy test boxes.
"Um…overkill much?"
Jenny's face flushed and she glanced at her hands, smiling slightly and Mike laughed quietly as he removed the vast majority of the boxes and replaced them on the shelves.
"What's that you told me back at the apartment? 'Don't panic'?"
"Yeah," she huffed out, flicking her hair again and fidgeting with the edge of the box in her hands, "Just because I normally start as regular as clockwork doesn't mean there's any need to panic." She looked at him and plastered a fake smile on her face, "right?"
Mike nodded and smiled back, just as much bravado behind the gesture as hers. "Right."
Jenny started to make her way toward the checkout and Mike moved to follow her and then, as an afterthought grabbed another test of a different brand.
He shrugged at Jenny's raised eyebrow.
"What? You've never heard of a false positive?"
The drugstore was mostly empty, save the checkout girl, and he and Jenny stuck close to one another as she rang them up, each taking strength from the presence of the other. Whatever had transpired between them, they had been friends for a long time before any of that. And on some level, he guessed, they still were.
The checkout girl was small with unnaturally dark hair and her lip ring pulled at her skin when she smiled.
"Good luck," she said brightly, handing them their plastic bags.
Mike smiled slightly and Jenny quietly thanked her before the two made a beeline for the door.
The walk back to his apartment seemed to take longer than the walk there and Mike's head was spinning off his shoulders.
What if the tests came back positive? What would he do then? His life wasn't exactly set up to handle a kid. Kids needed time and money and energy, three things he was never sure he had enough of. He couldn't even remember to meet his Grammy for dinner or feed himself with anything better than pizza and red bull, how was he going to feed and take care of a baby? A tiny little person with needs and wants and a life out ahead of them that he was responsible for...
And then there was Jenny.
Mike glanced at her, walking beside him with her chin up and bottom lip caught between her teeth, squinting as reflections of the sun bounced off the windows of surrounding buildings and blinded them both.
Her place was marginally better than his own but not much. And she worked all the time too. It wasn't fair to expect her to turn her life upside down, to quit her job or move to a bigger apartment and he knew she wouldn't want to any more than he did. And he didn't even want to think about the awkwardness that would ensue between them. They'd never married obviously, and he didn't see that changing anytime in the near future. How would they work out child support? When would he get to see the baby? What would he tell Grammy?
Oh God, what would he tell Harvey?
He could just see it now, the man berating him for being stupid enough not to use a condom. Only they had. Well, most of the time. And anyway those things were only like 99% effective anyway.
Leave it to Mike to be in the one percent.
A high-pitched giggle across the street made Mike look up. He caught sight of a little girl, no more than five, playing hopscotch out on the front walk, blonde pig tails flying behind her in her small pink jacket.
"Come watch me, daddy!" she called out to a man in a flannel and work boots who joined her, sitting on the front stoop, nodding at her high pitched, incessant babbling, nothing but joy and interest painted on his face.
Mike tilted his head at the sight. He wondered if they would have a girl. What would they name her? He'd always been a little bit partial to the name Emily.
"Mike?"
He looked back over and saw he'd almost walked past the entrance to his apartment building. Jenny held the door open for him and glanced over to what he'd been staring at. The little girl jumped into her father's arms and he twirled her around, causing her to squeal with delight.
Jenny smiled and looked back at Mike, gesturing inside.
"You ready?"
Mike wasn't quite sure how to answer that question, so he took the door and wordlessly followed her upstairs to his apartment.
Mike had changed positions three times on the couch and then moved from standing, to sitting on the coffee table, to standing again in the two minutes Jenny was in the bathroom. She opened the door and nodded at him, pushing her hands into her back pockets.
Mike nodded back and pushed the start button on the timer in his hands. He cleared his throat and set it aside, telling himself he was crazy and 'no the seconds were not ticking by slower than usual'.
Jenny coughed and folded her arms across her crème cashmere sweater, crossing her legs at the ankles and leaned against the doorframe.
"Thanks, by the way." She glanced at him.
Mike looked up at her. "For what?"
Jenny shrugged, looking down so that her hair fell to cover her face. "For going with me. You um…didn't have to."
"Jenny, you didn't do this yourself," he said trying to smile, "thank you. For letting me be a part of this."
"Well, we don't know yet if there is any 'this' to be a part of so…"
"Still, you didn't have to tell me." He pursed his lips, "so thanks."
She stared at him a moment and then nodded. "I knew you'd want to know. And honestly it never occurred to me not to tell you." She licked her lips and swallowed. The air in the room was thick and hot and tense and neither dared disturb it by moving. "In spite of everything Mike I…I still think you're a good man and uh," she glanced over her shoulder where the tests were balanced on the toilet lid, "whatever happens," she looked back at him, "I don't regret what we had."
Mike took a deep breath to ease the tension that had blossomed across his chest and rubbed his sweaty palms together, "Me either. You're…amazing, Jenny. I mean that. And I'm…really sorry, for the way things turned out."
Jenny nodded and looked away. The silence descended heavily again and Mike shifted, almost relived when his phone started to vibrate and ring in his pocket. He looked at Jenny.
"Sorry."
She waved the apology away and moved back into the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub.
"Hello?"
"Mike Ross I don't know why Harvey puts up with you."
"Oh, Donna," Mike pressed his free hand to his eyes and then swiped it down his face. "Sorry. I'm late."
"You are," he heard her say. He could hear Harvey's voice from somewhere on the other end, he couldn't tell what he'd said but by the tone it sounded like a snide comment about his never being able to be anywhere on time.
"I'll um," he glanced into the bathroom where Jenny was still sitting on the edge of the tub, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, staring at the sticks resting on the toilet lid. He sucked in a deep breath. "I'll be there soon. I promise."
He didn't think any of the swirling emotions in his stomach had made it into his voice until Donna's pause registered in his ears, followed closely by rustling fabric.
"Mike? Is everything ok? You sound…" she trailed off and Mike could picture the look of worry and curiosity she sometimes wore when he came in to the office looking tired and disheveled from having to speed through rush hour traffic on his bike.
Before he could answer he heard Harvey's voice on the other end again, close enough to Donna that he was able to make out the man say something along the lines of 'what's wrong' and 'where is he'. Donna shushed him and Mike smirked.
"I'm fine. I'll uh," he cleared his throat as the egg timer in the kitchen started to go off, "I'll be there soon."
"Ok," Donna responded and then, before he could hang up, called out, "Take care of yourself Mike."
His smile quirked and he smacked a hand against the button to shut off the annoying beeping noise. "I always do."
"No you don't. That's why the big dogs worry about you." And then, without another word, she was gone and the click and dial tone sounded unnaturally loud in his ear. There was nothing stalling him now.
He turned around to face the bathroom again.
Jenny was standing, the pregnancy tests held tightly in her hands and he couldn't tell if she was breathing or not.
"Jenny?"
She blinked at him suddenly, seemingly surprised to see him wedged into the tiny bathroom doorway and swallowed hard, licking her lips and handing him one of the tests.
"See for yourself."
Mike took the small device but didn't look at it immediately, trying to gauge the reaction on Jenny's face.
She was shaken for sure, but he couldn't tell if the look in her eyes was anxiety or relief and he felt a pang of sadness at that. He used to be able to read her every though with a single glance. It used to drive Trevor crazy.
"Mike," she nodded at him urgently while wiping her palms repeatedly on her jeans, "look at them."
Mike took a deep breath, trying to expand his suddenly constricted chest and blinked slowly. When he opened his eyes they were trained on the small window in the end of the white stick, and he had a brief moment of panic when he couldn't remember which symbol meant which outcome.
He looked up frantically at Jenny to see her holding up the other test, one hand stuffed in her pocket, head tilted to the side with an apologetic but clearly relieved smile on her face.
"Dodged a bullet this time I guess," She said quietly, trying to smile.
Mike nodded and looked back down.
Minus.
One line.
No baby.
Right.
He sighed and moved to slowly drop the thing into the trash and stood awkwardly to one side as Jenny did the same and then washed her hands. She lifted her head and looked at him in the mirror.
Mike locked eyes with her reflection.
"You okay?"
He swallowed and nodded.
"It's for the best."
She smiled and nodded, her eyes skittering away and she quickly dried her hands, moving to the living room to pick up her purse and jacket and head for the door. She hesitated with her hand on the knob and looked over at him, leaning slightly out of the bathroom, still staring at her.
"Bye Mike." She said, her voice no louder than a whisper. And why did it feel like the first and last time he would ever see her?
She pulled the door open and her name spilled from his lips before he realized what had happened. She stopped and looked back.
"You um," his voice cracked and he cleared it, touching his fist to his lips briefly, wondering where all his composure had gone. His stomach felt churned and unsure, like he'd just stepped off a roller coaster and still wasn't used to solid ground again. "You would have made a great mother. You will. One day."
A smile flitted across Jenny's face and she sighed. "And you'll make a great father." She nodded once to affirm the statement and then pulled the door closed behind her.
Mike had never noticed how quiet and empty his apartment felt without Jenny and the promise of a small, bright bundle of future inside it.
Mike only stood outside Harvey's condo for a moment before he heard an unidentifiable voice inside shout at him to 'come in'. He hung his jacket by the door and as he came around the corner he saw Donna curled up on the couch, glancing at him over the back and waving him further in.
"Nice of you to finally show," he turned to see Harvey coming from the kitchen, shoving a plate of stuffed crust pizza into his hands. He gave him a long once over and Mike pretended not to notice, stuffing almost half of the first piece into his mouth at once.
"You okay, kid?"
Mike nodded and said, around a mouthful of pizza, "I'm good."
Harvey rolled his eyes and made a noise of disgust, passing him a napkin. "Pretend you have manners."
Mike grinned at his back and followed him to the living room where Harvey dropped into his usual spot on the wide black chaise lounge. He looked to the television for the first time and wasn't able to hold back a slight wince upon seeing Donna had chosen Father of the Bride 2 as the first movie of the night.
Donna herself had been following the younger man with sharp brown eyes, not so willing to accept Mike's quick answer as Harvey. It was because of this close scrutiny that she noticed the slight grimace that crossed Mike's face when he saw the movie on the screen and she reached for the remote, muting it as Mike dropped onto the couch beside her.
"Hey!" Harvey protested, frowning at her.
Donna ignored him.
"Mike?"
He looked over at her, finishing off his pizza. "Yeah?"
"Anything you want to share with the class?"
Mike knew already that he was caught, but that didn't prevent him from putting up a fight. Futile though it was.
"What do you mean?"
"What was that look?" She gestured between him and the TV. "That 'ouch that hurts' look."
"Have you heard Martin Short's accent in this movie?" Mike asked, trying to cover his unconvincing attempt at humor with a snort of amusement. Turning back to the screen, seemingly engrossed in the frozen image of an immaculately decorated nursery.
And really, maybe he was.
"Mike?"
This time his name had been said in a much lower tone, with a shade more suspicion than concern (though the concern was clearly audible) and he realized he probably wasn't doing really well at keeping the emotions off his face.
He sighed and looked at them. Under the gaze of one, he might have been able to play it off. But with both Harvey and Donna staring at him, he didn't stand a chance.
"Jenny came to see me today," he said quietly, sitting forward to put his plate of pizza on the coffee table, resting his elbows on his knees. "She um…we thought maybe she was…" He trailed off and looked over at Donna, who's eyes widened with understanding all of five seconds later.
"Is she?"
The question came from Harvey and Mike realized he shouldn't have been surprised by how easily Harvey read him. He always did.
"No." Mike said, shaking his head. "False alarm I guess."
Mike was staring at his shoes and didn't hear them move but the next thing he knew Donna's hand was rubbing up and down on his back and Harvey was pushing a glass of coke and what smelled like a pretty hefty dose of rum into his hands. He glanced up to channel a 'thank you' to the older man and noticed someone had turned off the movie in favor of something on the much more benign Weather Channel.
He looked over at Donna and smiled.
"Thanks guys."
She nodded and slid back on the couch. "You know it was for the best, right Mike?"
Mike sipped his drink and sat back, getting comfortable. "Yeah, I know. It's just…"
"Disappointing."
Mike looked up, surprised again that the voice was Harvey's again. Donna was looking over at him as well, just as surprised as Mike and he locked eyes with her briefly before nodding.
"Exactly."
Harvey didn't look away from the television, steadfastly avoiding the gazes of his associate and assistant in favor of a documentary on the water cycle with closed captioning.
Mike just shook his head. He guessed Harvey would probably never stop surprising him. But he couldn't help hoping one day the man would tell him his whole story so he wouldn't have to piece it together with the little odds and ends Harvey dropped after a bit too much to drink.
"Here."
He suddenly found the remote unceremoniously dumped into his lap and raised an eyebrow at the redhead beside him.
"But it's your night."
"Well I've decided Martin Short's atrocious but hilarious accent is too much to deal with this late at night so I'm letting you choose. But I get two nights in a row to make up for it." Donna informed him, casually braiding her hair over one shoulder, "Now hurry up before I change my mind."
Mike smiled, genuinely appreciating the gesture and made a mental note to buy her flowers tomorrow, and flipped through the channels to find something decidedly less…baby related.
He grinned when he found what he wanted and was pleased to hear Harvey's grunt of approval from the other side of the room.
"Die Hard. Classic."
About an hour later found the credits rolling and Mike fast asleep on the couch. He was woken by movement beside him. He watched through the darkness as Harvey carried Donna to his bedroom, where she always spent the night on Movie night, before heading back out to the living room to drop a blanket across Mike on the couch and make himself comfortable on the lounge a few feet away.
"Go to sleep Mike," Harvey grumbled.
Mike grinned and turned over to face the back couch. He remembered Harvey telling him once that he had time to find the right person to share his life with. He also remembered he'd harshly told him that Harvey had probably been telling himself that for years. But Mike thought maybe he would amend that thought now.
Maybe he still did have time.
Maybe they all did.
END
Review if you feel so inclined :)