The Animal Ray
By "Judge Neusy"
By "Grand Master Shoma"
We'll be blunt: We don't own these characters, but we own this fanfic. Don't steal it.
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In his lab, Eggman has built another genius weapon. But what is it? We'll find out!
Eggman: Doo do do do doo do do do... Ah yes, it's almost done! My greatest invention that'll defeat Sonic! (wires up the machine a bit more) There! It's done! My greatest invention! (looks around) I just realize now, that there's no one here to listen to me... oh well, I'll just continue speaking aloud. I have to test this... but it only works on living creatures! Now, who do I know that's a living creature? (takes machine and goes outside)
(goes to the supermarket)
Eggman: Now, living creatures... living creatures... (sees Tails at checkout aisle, then sees him leaving) Of course! (pops a Mentos in his mouth)
As Mentos music* plays, Eggman makes a chase behind Tails
Eggman: You! You are the perfect subject for me.
Tails: What? What are you talking about? Let me return this to my--
Eggman: NEVER!! (fires beam onto Tails)
Tails: AAAAAAAhhhh... (turns into a real fox, but with his necessities still intact: shoes, gloves, and two tails) *cute bark*
Eggman: Hmm... I knew it was gonna work like that! I'm a genius!! Damn, I'm so good! Huh? (looks down, sees Tails moving around)
Tails: *cute bark* (making a body motion that means "Change me back")
Eggman: Change you back? No way!
Tails: *growls* (bites Eggman's ankle)
Eggman: Ow! OW!!! Stop biting me! Go away!! (kicks Tails in the air)
In the Mystic Ruins (where Tails lands)
Shadow: It's a beautiful day! What a day to be alive! Well, time to mow the lawn. (realizes that he lives in the shack in the Mystic Ruins) I got a lot of lawn to mow... (hears rustling in the blades of grass) What's that rustling? (Tails jumps out of the grass and into Shadow's arm)
Tails: *cute bark* *cute bark* *cute bark*
Shadow: (overly ecstatic) I've... always wanted a fox ever since I was created on the Space Colony ARK! I'm gonna name you (here it comes) Leopold.
Tails: (confused) *?*
Shadow: And you're so cute with your little gloves, and cute little booties, and your... two... tails... (looks at him) You're a special fox! Aw, you're so cute!!
Tails: *raises arm to smack head*
Sonic: (walks over) Hey Shadow, have you seen Tails? He went shopping, and he never came back--(sees Tails in his primal state) SHADOW!! (punches him madly)
Shadow: Ow! What was that for?
Sonic: You made Tails this way!!
Shadow: What are you talking about? That's not Tails, it's Leopold! (pulls out a water bowl) Here you go Leopold, have some lake water.
Tails: (looks at bowl)
Sonic: Shadow, you were bathing in that lake water!
Tails: (couple steps back) *disgusted whimper*
Shadow: Aw, he whimpered.
Tails: (starts pulling on Sonic's sock)
Sonic: What is it, Tails? You see something? Don't worry, we'll get you back. Or at least (looks at Shadow), I'll get you back.
Tails: *cute bark* (starts running off)
Sonic: Wait for me, Tails!
Shadow: (chasing both of them) Don't listen to him, Leopold! He's evil!
In Eggman's lab...
Eggman: This is going to be a glorious day for me! (secret door opens and shows Sonic, Shadow, and well, Tails) Aw fuck.
Shadow: I... was just going to deposit some money with my Cash Card©, and this is what happens?
Sonic: You don't have money.
Shadow: Okay, now THAT was mean and uncalled for!
Tails: (rapid gnaws on Eggman's head)
Eggman: Ow! My cranium! (headbutts wall to rid himself of Tails)
Shadow: LEOPOLD!
Eggman: Leopold? Doesn't matter. You're next, Sonic.
Sonic: You got teeth marks on your head.
Eggman fires his beam, and Sonic gets out a garbage lid, deflects the beam, and hits Shadow.
Shadow: AAAAAAAAhhhh...
Sonic: He wasn't born a hedgehog, he was created. YOU KILLED SHADOW!
Eggman: Um, if you could just look down.
Sonic: Huh? (looks down and sees a black-spined hedgehog with small red stripes) Shadow, (picks him up) what did he do to you?
Shadow: (somehow able to talk) I feel great actually. Naw, I'm messin' with ya, I'm pissed!
Sonic: How can you still talk?
Shadow: That I want to know myself. Eggman, change me back, now!
Eggman: Love too, but I can't.
Shadow: What do you mean--
Sonic: HEHEHEHE! (poking Shadow) Aw, you got tiny red stripes on your back. Koochie-Koochie-Koo-- (feels spiky sensation) Ow! OWWW!! I'm gonna squeeze you good! (tries too, but) OW! Ow! OOWW!! (drops Shadow)
Shadow: Hey, what was that for? And I thought you said I could ride on your shoulder!
Sonic: No I didn't.
Shadow: Oh well, win some, lose some. Leopold, can you give me a lift? (jumps on his head) Thanks, buddy.
Tails: (shakes Shadow off head)
Shadow: YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING-- Aw, how can I stay mad at you?
Tails: *makes a noise that sounds something like "Dear God."*
Eggman: Now, who's next? (sees Knuckles in the distance) Yes, he'll do.
Sonic: I thought that you were--
Eggman: Shut up.
Eggman fires ray and hits Knuckles.
Knuckles: AAAAAAAaaaahhhh... (turns into a real echidna; tongue streaking all over the floor)
Eggman: (in disgust) Maybe I shouldn't have done that...
Rouge: (comes out of nowhere) Hey, I'm here because I heard a scream behind the ATM machine, and I came to--EEWWW!! What is that on the floor!? And beside that, what's that thing licking the floor!!?
Sonic: That, would be a spiny anteater. Otherwise known as (suspenseful) an echidna.
Rouge: (looks at it for a bit, then realizes) Eeww...
Eggman: (charges ray) You're next, you... um, you...
Shadow: Skank-whore?
Eggman: YEAH, you skore!!
Eggman fires ray and hits Rouge.
Rouge: AAAAaaaahhhh... huh? I haven't changed.
Sonic: What happened?
Eggman: (mumbles to self) Probably her rack deflected the beam.
Rouge: WHAT'D YOU SAY!?
Eggman: I mean... this Rouge is gonna fly!! (hits secret button)
Rouge: No I'm (gets flung here) NOOOOTTT!!
Sonic: Wow. Way to send Rouge flying.
Eggman: Goodbye. (pushes another secret button)
Sonic: NNNOOOOOOOO!!! (gets flung)
Eggman: Damn, I should have gotten Sonic. Oh well, next time. Now I'm gonna put these animals in their cages! (smells something; coming from Knuckles) Ugh, you first. (tries to lift him up; slowly drags him to his cage) You know, for a spiny anteater, you're not that spiny. And you smell like cow!
Knuckles: *licking Eggman's hand* *gross grunt*
Eggman: Ew! Don't touch me! And licking counts! (throws him in a cage) Next, is the fox. Come here, you little rascal.
Tails: *growls like mad* *bites like mad*
Eggman: Ow, ow, ow, ow. You're even worse when you're a fox!! (puts in a box) But I'll give you credit for trying to fight back.
Tails: *does cute little bow*
Shadow: Hey, but, Eggman! What about me?!
Eggman: Oh right... why don't you watch the super bowl with me?
Shadow: SA-WEET!!!
Sonic and Rouge are outside...
Sonic: Well, that was a rude dismissal.
Rouge: Kinda odd on how he just let us out to the front entrance...
Sonic: Still, it was rude. (dusting self off) Well, what are you gonna do now, Rouge?
Rouge: Why, whatever do you mean? I can finally have the Master Emerald, don't I?
Sonic: Yes, but now you have a dilemma. Although you may think so, now you don't have any competition. (sarcastic) Oh, but you don't care. You have only one priority and it's having all the jewels in the world! Ain't that right Rouge?
Rouge: (thinks for a while, then is sad and confused; crying) Oh... my...
Sonic: (sounding like a priest) Come. For we shall--
Rouge: Can it! I'm gonna save my Knukie-poo!
Sonic: Well, that was thought-out well.
Back in Eggman's lab.
Eggman: Now, seriously, I'm going to find a way to bring you back to normal, my black-spined friend!
Shadow: YAY! About fuckgin' time!
Eggman: Did you just say, fuckgin?
Shadow: Oh no! In... this... ultimate... cannot be... form... life... algae... bra... ? CHANGE ME BACK CHANGE ME BACK CHANGE ME BACK!!!! (rapidly gnaws on Eggman's hand)
Eggman: Um, I hope you know, you're not hurting me.
Door breaks down! Sonic and Rouge appear!
Sonic: CHANGE BACK TAILS AND KNUCKLES!! Oh, and Shadow as well.
Shadow: JERK!
Sonic: Oh, the hell with this! (knocks Eggman out, and grabs the Animal Ray)
Shadow: Hurry up! HURRY UP!!!
Sonic: Okay, already! (fires it at Shadow; Shadow turns back to normal.)
Shadow: EEEeee... That felt good. DO IT AGAIN!
Sonic: Next is... (looks at a certain spiny anteater licking the ground.) Ugh! I can't stand to see that!
Knuckles: *licking the ground with his tongue* (gets hit by Animal Ray; Knuckles is now normal, but is still licking the floor) What am I doing? And why am I in a cage!? I want freedom!!
Shadow: (frees 'Leopold') Oh Leopold! I'm so glad to see you!
Tails: *struggling madly*
Sonic: Shadow, let him go already! He's struggling!
Shadow: Oh no he's not! It's just a figment of the imagination!
Tails: *bark*
Sonic: (fires beam at Tails)
Tails: *squealing* (turns back to himself) Shadow, let go of me!
Shadow: What the?
Tails: Shadow, I'm Tails! T-A--
Shadow: Wow! Tails was Leopold! I love you. (hugs Tails more-so)
Tails: SONIC, HELP ME!
Sonic: Nah, I want to see how this plays out.
Amy: (comes out of nowhere) Sonic!
Sonic: Tails! I'll save you!
Eggman: Ow... My head. This was stupid. Everyone, come here for a second.
All steps closer towards Eggman.
Eggman: (gets out a giant ray gun) You all won't probably remember the Amnesia-Ray! Which is for the best. Good day. (spreads it over everyone)
Sonic: What happened?
Tails: Let's go home.
Shadow: Why are we here?
Knuckles: What's a Master Emerald?
All go home except for Eggman.
Eggman: (shakes his head in disgust) I don't wanna remember this, either. Best to wipe my own memory clean too. (fires Amnesia Ray on self) OOOWWWW!! What the hell!? My eyes! What was I complaining about!?
Hopefully, Eggman's Amnesia Ray made you forget about this story, too!
The End