AN: I don't own My Little Pony or Halo. They belong to Hasbro and Bungie/Microsoft/343 Industries respectively.

Looking for Players...

Somewhere in the Everfree Forest

The forest was still and silent, its trees motionless as the wind died down and the leaves settled on the ground, joining countless more in carpeting the mossy floor and hiding dozens of tree branches from sight.

The silence was soon shattered as automatic gunfire ripped through the air.

Dawson, a Spartan-IV, fired his assault rifle from the hip as numerous ponies, all wearing the bright gold armour exclusive to the Solar Empire Army, scattered before him.

'Yeah, you mother humpers!' he yelled after them. 'For the New Lunar Republic!'

His partner and squad leader, Jackson, joined him in gunning down the fleeing soldiers, their combined firepower turning the stallions into bullet ridden corpse that the forest seemed to swallow up the moment they dropped.

Both Spartans emptied their assault rifles then slipped fresh mags in, continuing their barrage of gunfire.

Once the last body had fallen still, they reloaded again and set off in search of more Solar Empire soldiers to kill.

Inside the New Lunar Republic's headquarters

Luna gave a weary sigh as she signed the last parchment and rolled it up, adding it to an already immense pile of them. She had been up all night going over the current Equestrian laws and making her own modifications for when she finally overthrew Celestia and her wretched Solar Empire, allowing the New Lunar Republic to replace it and allow ponies everywhere the freedom to choose their leaders.

She would, of course, oversee the first few years to get everything in place before holding the very first elections but right now, Luna's thoughts drifted to her bed.

Tiberius, her pet opossum, was curled on the desk next to her, asleep.

'Oh, Tibble-kins.' She said to the animal. 'Who knew it would be so much work planning a revolution? Sending troops out, coming up with new laws, plotting to overthrow that tyrant I once called a sister. When will it end?'

Tiberius cracked open one eye then fully opened both, stretching out with yawn, before climbing atop the Alicorn's head, pointing at her bed.

'Oh, that would make me most happy, Tiberius.' She said, looking longingly at the midnight blue covers and soft but firm mattress. If she hurried and gave the guards outside her room orders to not let anyone past, she might be able to avoid dealing with Those Two.

Luna groaned inwardly, thinking of the two Spartans she had summoned.

Her uprising against Celestia and the Solar Empire had gone well at first with her army winning a number of small but tactically important battles in the opening days of the Equestrian Civil War but as time went on, that number began petering out until the Solar Empire and New Lunar Republic became locked in a stalemate. Neither could dislodge the other long enough from any one location to fortify it ahead of the inevitable counterattack, leading to a war of attrition that, after looking over their supplies and available soldiers, the New Lunar Republic would eventually lose.

So, in an act of desperation, Luna had trawled through her collection of books on arcane magic in search of a spell that would give her more powerful soldiers or some super weapon to unleash on the Solar Empire.

She had gotten Jackson and Dawson instead.

They were a welcome addition to begin with, fending off Solar Empire soldiers with ease, but as time went on their underlying personality disorders began showing through.

Dawson was more vocal than Jackson, often yelling 'For the New Lunar Republic' as he gunned down the enemy and calling them mother humpers as well, and had a way of explaining unusual feats or actions with the phrase Shark Week.

Jackson, meanwhile, was much quieter and focused when out in the field and more often than not would sing songs to himself in the midst of battle. When he did speak and it wasn't an order, it was fifty-fifty on whether it would be making casual conversation with Dawson or spouting some weird fact or disturbing imagery.

Both used a less than refrained style of combat, usually tackling the enemy head with whatever weapon they had and leaving a bloody pile of bullet-ridden corpses behind, but if the situation called for it or they felt like doing it, the two Spartans would use stealth to whittle their opponents down. Or just annoy them.

Their after action reports were as brief as can be, most times only stating total casualties for both sides alongside their personal kill counts. On the rare occasion that either Jackson or Dawson decided to put anything more descriptive than that into their reports, it was kept just as brief.

Luna thought back to one such report.

Skirmish of Downtown Ponyville, After Action Report

Enemy Casualties: 50

Friendly Casualties: 34

Spartan Dawson Kill Count: 12

Spartan Jackson Kill Count: 14

Summary of Battle: Explosions. Explosions everywhere.

The lack of any detail infuriated Luna sometimes. She wanted to know how to make her troops better fighters and three word summaries weren't going to tell her anything. But no matter how many times she asked them to give more specifics, Jackson and Dawson kept on giving three to four word answers, thus earning the moniker of Those Two from Luna because while she welcomed their presence in her army, their actions drove her crazy.

She glanced at the clock on her desk and saw it was seven o'clock in the morning, prompting Luna to yawn and sluggishly get to her hooves. Tiberius remained perched on her head, jumping down when Luna reached her bed and curled up on one of the pillows, quickly going back to sleep.

Luna moved to join the opossum, drawing back the covers, but a knock from the door made her groan instead and she turned away from the bed towards the door, dragging her hooves.

The door swung open to reveal one of the guards, dressed in full armour.

'Your Majesty, Spartans Jackson and Dawson have returned from their mission in the Everfree Forest.' The guard said, coming to attention. 'Shall I send them in or will you meet with them in the library?'

'Library.' Luna said, yawning. 'And have the kitchen send up some coffee and cakes. If I have to deal with Those Two, I want to have something to keep me awake.'

The guard saluted. 'Yes, ma'am.'

Inside the New Lunar Republic headquarters

Jackson propped his feet up on one of the library's many desks, his dirt encrusted boots scuffing the wooden surface, writing up the latest after action report.

'Patrol of the Everfree Forest number fifty-six.' He said, speaking as he wrote. 'Total number of enemy casualties: sixty. Total number of friendly casualties: none. Summary of battle: victory.' He signed and dated it then tossed the parchment onto the desk alongside his helmet.

Opposite him, Dawson was flicking through what passed for erotic fiction in Equestria but judging from the semi-focused look in his eyes, the fact that it was about ponies was merely an inconvenience in an otherwise sexually arousing story.

Jackson glanced at the title. The Princess's Guard.

'Good book?' he asked.

Dawson hummed. 'It's about an Alicorn who falls in love with a guard. Starts off with the usual mush of professing their love for one another, working their way up from kissing to heavy fondling to oral to actually fucking.' He turned the page. 'Just in the middle of the guard going down on the princess to deliver an earth shattering orgasm or some such. Goes into a lot of detail.'

'It's ponies, though.' Jackson said.

'When in Rome.'

Jackson shook his head. 'Surprised you're reading that stuff. You usually go for the hardcore stuff. You know, tied up and blindfolded while the man eats the chick out.'

'Read them all.' Dawson said as he turned the page again. 'Four rows back from where you're sitting, third shelf from the bottom, somewhere in the middle. Kind of surprised myself Luna has such books in her collection.'

'Why am I not surprised you know exactly where they are?'

Dawson shrugged. 'Shark Week.'

'Of course.'

Jackson blew out a long breath as he leant back, hands clasped behind his head. It had been a long night, hunting Sunnies and chasing them, but he and Dawson had managed to but a huge dent in the local population of Solar Empire soldiers in a reasonable short time. Most of the night was spent getting to where the Sunnies had set up camp and walking back again.

It had been easy, almost unfair, taking on the Sunnies. Both he and Dawson wore MJOLNIR GEN2 armour, coloured blue with grey highlights and silver visors. Dawson, being a vehicle-orientated Spartan, had opted for the OPERATOR variant of the armour while Jackson, something of a generalist and a believer in the classics, had chosen the Mark VI from the GEN1 line of armours just like the Master Chief had worn, only blue instead of green. The ponies had no such armour.

Their guns were strewn haphazardly over the desk, each of them having a unique decoration given to them by their owners. Dawson had sprayed a shark's mouth and eyes around the barrel of his rifle and Jackson had stencilled 'Front Towards Enemy' on his, complete with arrow. Both Spartans had included the New Lunar Republic's emblem on the stock. Neither Spartan had taken the time to decorate their pistols.

The library's double doors opened and Luna walked in, looking bleary eyed with a mug of coffee floating before her and Tiberius hanging from her necklace by his tail. He waved at the Spartans and held up a sign that read 'Blue Team Rules!'

'Tiberius, my man.' Jackson said. 'How's it hanging?'

Dawson groaned. 'That was terrible.'

'I know.' Jackson said.

Luna dumped herself at the desk, letting her coffee land with a thump onto the wooden surface. Some of the contents spilled out, joining the dirt from Jackson's boots in tarnishing the otherwise immaculate surface.

'Were you successful?' she asked.

'Yup.' Jackson said, pushing the after action report her way.

'Can I expect to find the usual detailed report chronicling each and every move you made in getting that success?'

'Yup.'

Luna let out a despondent groan and let her head fall to the desk. 'I passed up sleep for this?'

'Yup.' Jackson said again.

She sighed and brought her head back up, inadvertently catching sight of the book Dawson was reading. 'Wh-Where did you find that?'

'Five rows to my left, seven rows back, fourth shelf from the top, way to the left.' He said, turning the page. 'Gotta say, I never imagined you'd be the kind of person to have erotic novels. Especially some of them. A Night in Canterlot was racy, even for me.'

'And that's saying something.' Jackson said.

'If you say anything to anypony about those, I can and will hurt you.' Luna said. 'Both of you.'

'You could but, then you'd lose the war against the Sunnies and Celestia.' Dawson said, putting the book down and picked up his helmet. 'We're your ace in the hole.'

'Yup.' Jackson added, picking his helmet up, too. 'So what's next for Spartan Fireteam Squealing Wombat?'