Few people knew that Cassandra had once picked out her own death date. In fact that total was now only up to four people, two currently in the room with her. She looked over at the two men she'd come to see as brothers. It was weird how that only three years ago they'd been strangers and now they'd saved the world countless times and created a bond that was unshakeable even in the roughest situations.
Well almost all roughest situations.
Cassandra was currently sitting across the room from one, Jenkins Caretaker of the Library. All because those two brothers of hers had wormed out from her the reason she and Jenkins had been tense during the whole sun-dwelling vampire fiasco. When she finally told them she'd expect Jacob to be upset, she still feared he might hold a candle for her. It surprised her though when he merely smiled knowingly and gently punched her arm like he was congratulating her for doing something. What shocked her was Ezekiel's face afterwards, she couldn't tell if it had scrunched up in worry or in something else. She soon found out that the younger Librarian was still for all intents and purposes a teenager sometimes and simply freak out as most do when their older 'siblings' show interest in anyone. But what truly caught the young woman off guard was when the duo went straight to Flynn and Eve and told them.
When the boys had asked her the information, she remembered telling them to keep it to the group. Apparently she should have been more specific as to who was in that 'group'. Because now here she was, months after her surgery, after having poured her heart out to this immortal man and having him break it slightly then seem to repair it; only to in turn see his break after Charlene came back to the library for a day. It had hurt her just as much to see Jenkins in such pain after Charlene left them. But what hurt more was how Jenkins became more closed off than usual. To the point the others had noticed, and now armed with the knowledge of what had been discussed between Cassandra and the Caretaker, had dare – no forced- Cassandra to talk to him. Alone.
So Cassandra sat in her chair at the Annex's main room where she usually sat when Jenkins worked on things out there too. It was so quite she could hear his tools clinking against the metal contraption on his desk. Her crystalline blue eyes carefully watched his hand movements as she shifted in her seat her hand still open on the same page it had been for the past ten minutes while she gathered her courage to speak to him.
"Miss Cillian, I can hear you thinking from across the room. Is there something you wished to talk about?" Jenkins asked, his gruff voice easily carrying as he never stopped tinkering with the machine on his desk. Cassandra winced slightly at the use of that title when he spoke. He once in private seemed to care enough to call her Cassandra but after Charlene's death he just stopped. He reverted back to calling everyone by titles, formality firmly in place again. Once upon a time Cassandra would have done the same in turn but retaining her gift, her talks with Estrella had made her bold. She felt surer of herself lately, well minus her gift.
"Actually Jenkins I do. We- um rather I- I am worried about you. You've closed off after Charlene left and I am worried."
"I apologize for worrying you Miss Cillian I assure you I am fine." Jenkins started to pack up his things already sensing where this conversation might be heading. He was shocked when suddenly he looked up and Cassandra was no longer in across the room but in front of his desk.
"No. You're not. You're hurting and everyone can see it. I can see it. Why won't you let one of us help you? I doesn't have to be me. Talk to Eve. Maybe spar with Flynn and Cal or Jake. Banter with Ezekiel. But stop hiding." Cassandra pleaded with him, her penetrating the air around them. She moved around the desk as she saw him start to move at her.
"I am not hiding. How dare you even -"
"Jenkins but you are. You're not using our first names anymore. You don't joke. You just do what we ask and go on. We haven't even had a 'Big Story board Explanation' with you since then."
"You have no idea what I am going through. You have no right to even ask" Jenkins bellowed at her, his voice almost hoarse. He advanced on the younger woman until they were barely an inch apart. Cassandra was so startled by his movements she stood up ramrod straight.
"You're correct in that I have no idea what you are going through but you're wrong on that last part Jenkins. I do have a right, the right of someone who cares about you. You know how that feels right? To care about someone even if they don't care back. I just don't have you knight's tactic in asking or showing it. I'm a Librarian. I choose the path the fits me. But either way Jenkins, we are friends I thought, teammates even. I'm not an enemy. I just wanted to help." Cassandra said her eyes never wavering from his piercing hazel ones until she suddenly lost track of what she was going to ask him or say. By the end of her response her voice had petered to almost a whisper and she started to pull away turning to leave the immortal to his piece when she felt his arm on her wrist, so much like he had that night at the hospital before her surgery.
"Miss Cil- Cassandra. I – I don't know if I can explain how I feel right now. I was trained that emotions are something a knight works through on his own. I am not used to excepting help, but I can understand the uncomfortable spot I probably have put you in lately. For that I apologize greatly. I don't know if I will ever be comfortable talking about how I feel, about how Char-she left. But you do make a valid point. One I once made to Col. Baird when you all were trapped in that Carnival. So I am sorry and I will do my best to trust you with what is going on, if you promise to understand there are somethings things I cannot yet or might never share." Jenkins responded his voice scarcely above a whisper. Cassandra had turned around after he said her name, his hand never leaving her wrist though it seemed. He looked so much older than usual when she turned around to face him. The usually upturned lines across his jaw and cheek lines dropped, she now noticed the dark circles forming under his eyes and she frowned when she looked close enough to see the corners of his eyes had slight red tints to them.
"That's all I ask Jenkins, all we ask. Just learn to lean on us too okay? You always help us, let us return the favor sometimes okay?" Cassandra said moving closer to the taller Caretaker as she placed her free hand over his large one on her arm. She smiled when he nodded at her response and carefully lead them back to the other side of his desk. She nearly choked in happiness when he offered her the spare seat and he too sat down beside her to go to back to work on his machine.
"I promise I will try my best Cassandra. But first I also need my hand back so I can finish this. And perhaps while I do we can talk about something." Jenkins said softly his voice going back to its normal timber. Cassandra nodded, it wasn't a big step but it was still a step. "Oh and Cassandra, I'd thank you to keep our future discussions to just between us. I may be willing to trust you more, and maybe Col. Baird, but as for Misters Stone and Jones I rather they know less of my personal life. Makes it easier to tease them." Jenkins looked at Cassandra with a small smile at his lips.
"Of course Jenkins. Sorry. So um talking about something? What shall we talk about?" Cassandra said her last two sentences speeding off her tongue after getting a small almost glare from him at her old habit of apologizing for everything.
"How about you tell me how your gift is working now. Perhaps I can help you come up with a way to control or navigate it better. Or at least suggest a book or two that might assist you?" Jenkins said his hands back to work on the contraption, which Cassandra now saw was a small metallic bird.
"That sounds fantastic, thank you Jenkins." Cassandra smiled as she started to patter on about how different her gift was now. Oh yes, it would take quite a while but just getting Jenkins back on better talking terms with her made Cassandra feel more relaxed than she had in a long while, apparently Jenkins felt much the same as he soon started smirking around the Annex again and gently snarking off to the boys.