13 Reasons Why Chapter 1
He couldn't stop. She betrayed his affections and left the very thing that kept him living, his heart. Not like that mattered anyways. Besides, it sure as hell didn't matter to her. Yeah, his heart was shattered into a disarray of pieces. Every single time, every godamn fucking time she'd steal a part of him and made it almost fucking impossible to put himself back together. Like now too. It's impossible to compose himself.
And yet, he'd always come back around and brush the little shit off. Why is that?
"I don't fucking know why."
Perhaps he hoped that she'd magically return what she's stolen. I mean, would she? Could she? Wait, that's right, she can't.
Instead, she kept on just taking more and now, even though she can't, she is! And for her, more is never enough, well at least he thought. Take him, his heart, take all the fucking hearts of a million and it would never be enough for her, wait a second, not her, him.
"It was so fucking intoxicating."
The smile, the looks, the personality, her. It was just fuckingggg intoxicating.
"And the fucking finger thing, ya know, when she'd take her fingers and brush them through my hair, yeah…that. That was fucking addicting too."
His friend stared at the cigarette between his fingers. It was almost short enough to burn him. With an effort, he leaned forward to crush it out, still hearing him out.
"Oh yeah, let's not forget about that laugh. The fucking contagious one. Oh! and her flirtatious self. You know what she did to me?! Man, that fucking girl… she really fucking…"
"Breathe."
Is that even an option anymore, to breathe? It wasn't to her anymore so why should it to him?
"Gray, I don't fucking understand. Tell me. Go on, tell me. Tell me what the fuck happened. Just why?" his voice croaked.
"Lucy Heartfilia fucking killed herself how else do you want me to fucking put it you dumbass?! No one knows why, how, where!" Instantly, he sighed. How was he supposed to put it though? What other way was there except to say the truth. That she really did just kill herself. Suicide. Straight up, just bam. Dead. What did he want him to say? That she went to sleep and is never waking up?! Bullshit he ain't a child, he needs to face the truth and what happened, what really happened.
It was hard, not just on him, but everyone, well, mostly him. Yup, his best friend Natsu Dragneel. He knew he shouldn't be so rough on the guy but he really just needs to move on, for the best.
"Why do you think she did it? WHAT. WAS SO FUCKING BAD THAT SHE HAD TO KILL HER FUCKING SELF?!" he shouted. After the announcement, everyone's eyes were as immobile as the rest of their faces, as if news like that was impossible to absorb any faster. They didn't have to hear her name to know who he was talking about. He was talking about Lucy. Lucy Heartfilia. The girl who committed suicide about a month ago.
It somehow never became old news, well, at least with Natsu Dragneel around. Why she did it? They don't know. How she did it? They don't know that either.
The cafeteria simultaneously went quiet. Atmosphere eerie, and the air thick with who knows what anymore. Everyone was frozen for maybe three whole minutes before a voice was projected throughout the speakers hanging high up in the corners of walls.
"Natsu Dragneel, please report to the office, Natsu Dragneel, please report to the office."
Their bodies regained life and their mouths resumed their usual softness and eyes quit staring. Natsu turned to Gray, bags visible under his bloodshot eyes. He was exhausted and no one blamed him.
"Wish me luck" he murmured, gathering his backpack and snacks before quickly speed walking out the doors of the cafeteria. Gray stressfully pulled at his hair and continued looking around for his shirt. He had no idea what he was going to do with that boy anymore. Telling him to move on and giving him sympathy was like asking for a fucking death wish. The last person who wished their condolences to him about her was fucking battered until they were unconscious on the floor, blood spilling out of their bodies almost. The last thing he had in mind was to do that again. Suspending him, calling home, and threatening to ban him from Magnolia school districts was priceless and didn't do shit. Nothing, just nothing affected him, expect her.
"Aye! Aye! Aye! What are we going to do with him?" Gray looked over and flashed a quick smile before returning his gaze to under the tables. "Hey Mira, funny seeing you here, decide to come to school finally?"
"Yeah, I have been better I have to say!"
"…That's good I guess" Gray shrugged as he stood up, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He didn't want to be here right now, especially with her. After what she did.
"In a rush?"
"Actually, yeah…I forgot I agreed to meet Natsu in the halls when he gets out of the office right now."
"Want some company?"
"Nah, see ya."
So, he left. No way in hell was he going to stand there and act all happy in front of her. That's so fucking awkward.
"Shit! I left my backpack by her! Fuck, guess I'll have to go back…"
He wanted to, well, was going to but couldn't when he got to a certain locker. The flowers had arrived by some courier someone paid, a wiry man in a great hurry. He had thrust them into a basket and left them by her locker. The bouquet was all Lucy's favorites. Mini-sunflowers, white daisies, and purple tulips. Gray remembered once how this new kid came and asked if it was her birthday. Oh, my fucking god, Natsu fucking flipped. Next thing you knew the boy had to go home on his first day of his new school, with a concussion and broken legs and arms.
Damn. Gray wished it was her birthday. But it wasn't. It was basically like her second grave, her school locker. Tch, how fucking sad is that? Yeah, cool, whatever its to show how everyone misses her and shit. To Natsu and Gray though, that shit was nothing but pity and bullshit. Lucy would fucking hate that, only her true friends would know that of course. And Gray didn't know if he should consider himself that to her anymore. Who would? After what he did…
He was startled from the office doors. They flew open and slammed against the walls, probably leaving some type of damage that would go unnoticed like all the others, caused by Natsu of course.
"What'd they say?"
"None of your fucking business Fullbuster."
"Is taking out your anger on me really helping you? Because if it is don't bother talking to me at all Dragneel."
"…I'm sorry" he looked away, backpack falling from his weak shoulders. He started trembling like he was about to have a meltdown but he didn't.
"I swear…" Gray groaned in annoyance as he bent down to pick up his backpack and slung it over his shoulders.
"Igneel coming to pick you up again?"
"Yes." Gray again sighed, it was of a soft deflating as if a tension had lifted yet left him with a melancholy instead of relief.
"I'll wait in the front with you, let's go Natsu."
They both walked out the school and waited together in front for a noticeable red car to pull up. Who the hell wouldn't notice that car though. It was an awesome red sports car with a dragon design on it, everyone wanted it, literally.
Natsu rested his chin on his hand, barely able to formulate a thought. He's late, Igneel is usually here in a mist but he's late. Perhaps he's irritated that he keeps calling him when he's at work to come and pick him up unexpectedly. Natsu can't even remember a day where he's actually went through a whole school day. He always ends up leaving early but he started doing that recently, ever since Lucy…
"Want to talk?"
"Nah…"
"…Natsu if you need anything…you know I'm here for y-"
"I know, thanks. I'm fine though."
Gray awkwardly nodded and looked at the road, waiting to see that familiar red car, seeing it would be a relief knowing he wouldn't have to put up with this awkwardness. Even though Natsu is his best fucking friend on planet earth, not like he'd admit that, it's just awkward now because of the whole Lucy thing.
"There was a promise…"
"I know Natsu, you told me, remember?"
"She promised we'd make spicy foods and binge watch fucking Netflix."
Gray rubbed his temples, afraid to admit he was actually sick of hearing about Lucy. Was that bad though? To be sick of hearing about a "best friend" that died because of suicide? Maybe it was bad but he was sick of it. Many reasons why of course but there was no need to go into detail about them. It was just a simple thought he was afraid to admit.
That he, Gray Fullbuster, was, in fact, sick of hearing about the dead Lucy Heartfilia.
"But as you know…it didn't fucking happen. Why would it though? I mean fuck she f-"
A car honked, startling the two but immediately relieving Gray. It was Igneel, Natsu's dad. A tinted window rolled down and a tall fit man with red hair and a beard wearing sunglasses flashed his famous smile.
"Get in loser."
Natsu pulled his backpack off Gray's shoulder and sluggishly walked to the car.
"Thanks, Gray, again."
"Don't mention it." As Natsu went to lean down to put his backpack in the car, Igneel took the chance to give Gray the "look." The look was a message between him and Gray to see what was happening and how Natsu was feeling. Igneel took his sunglasses off and Gray held up 10 fingers, indicating that's how bad it was. Frowning, Igneel mouthed a quick thanks before waiting until Natsu shut his door and then took off.
His son was just getting worse by the day and he had no idea how to stop him from mourning over a dead girl. They weren't even dating and Natsu leaked no information as to who the girl even was to Igneel. It was quiet. The drive.
Every now and then Igneel took quick glances over to his lifeless son. Igneel pulled into the parking lot of a fast food place and stopped the car.
"Natsu, we need to talk."
"…"
"Ahhh. You know I love you but I can't keep doing this. I can't keep pulling you out of school every day and every day, that's not going to help your problem one bit."
"…"
"NATSU DRAGNEEL GODAMMIT! ANSWER ME" Igneel roared.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY!?"
The unsettling quietness and arguing were replaced with a new sound.
Slap!
The slap was as loud as a clap and stung Natsu's face. It had been an open-handed smack and it had left a red welt behind. Just below his eye was a small cut where Igneel's dragon ring had caught him. Natsu turned away, clutching the side of his face.
"Watch your mouth. I'm just trying to help you and talk but you're so damn stubborn!"
Still, nothing. Igneel gave up, deciding to try later so he started up the car again and sped home. He needed to shut himself in his room and just think about some things.
~1.3. R.E.A.S.O.N.S W.H.Y.~
When they got home there was a box in front of the door. It was an ordinary rectangular cardboard box with no distinguishing features. There was no mailing address and it was sealed shut with brown tape. If anything, the tape was the only unusual thing, it was applied a tad too enthusiastically, almost as if the mailer had no scissors and instead used the whole roll.
"You order something?" Igneel asked, picking the box up. Natsu thought hard. Did he? No, he didn't remember ordering anything.
"No?"
As Igneel went to tear it open, Natsu decided to instead take it. "Actually! Yes, it's my sports stuff for football and basketball, don't mind it," and with that, he snatched the box and ran into the house, upstairs. Excited to see what was inside, he tore it impatiently to find a fucking shoebox.
"What the fuck is this piece of trash?"
Harshly, he tore the lid off only to be surprised.
"…Cassette Tapes…? Why cassette tapes, who the hell would order these old-fashioned things." Natsu snatched one and saw a number one written on the clear case.
"Am I supposed to play this shit?" Natsu spattered. This was probably some dumb prank or something from Gray or Elfman.
Wait.
"How the hell am I supposed to play this, I don't have any shit this can play on, it's too ol-"
Remembering something vaguely, he ran downstairs and yelled for his dad.
"What do you want son?!" Igneel screamed from the backyard.
"Do you still have that weird stereo or box thing to play cassette tapes?"
"HAH! MY BOOMBOX?!"
"Yeah, that."
"I HAVENT HEARD CASSETTE TAPE IN AGES! WHY WHAT DO YOU NEED!" he screamed over the lawnmower.
"I NEED TO PLAY SOMETHING ON THIS TAPE!"
"IT'S IN THE GARAGE, JUST MAKE SURE NOT TO BREAK ANYTHING!"
So, Natsu ran to the garage.
"Alright, where is this piece of shit!"
Natsu began opening boxes and old containers, spending at least 15 minutes trying to find the fucking boom box or whatever the fuck it's called. Until finally, his dumbass realized it was right next to his football shit.
"Ah! Here we go!" Natsu sat down and put the bulky stereo like box on his lap. Carefully, his pressed inject and put the tape in before closing it.
"Watch this be sounds of a porno or something" Natsu chuckled as he hit play.
"…..?!"
…
"IS THIS SHIT GONNA PLAY OR WHAT?! I DON'T GOT ALL FUCKING D-"
"Hello, boys and girls!"
When those words were audible clearly, he thought he was hallucinating. However, he wasn't. His mind began cycling through emotions faster than him flipping TV channels. He's gone from level to rocky - fighting a mixture of competing emotions, each of them vying for dominance. After that familiar voice spoke those 4 words, it got quiet. But then…
"It's Lucy. Lucy Heartfilia. Live and in stereo. No return engagements. No encore. And this time, absolutely no requests. I hope you're ready because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to these tapes, you're one of the reasons why.
Now, why would a dead girl lie?"
"…Luce…"
What do you think? Review and tell me your opinion. Hopefully, some of you are familiar with this popular show, if not I highly recommend you watch it, it's called 13 Reasons Why.