Escaflowne Meets Mtv's FEAR
Disclaimer
A/N
: Please, I beg of you not to ask why. This idea, is all the work of Mtv, and too much caffeine. I just figured that the Escaflowne characters, at one of the fear locations would be really funny. But you know…with the help of my good friend Kelsh, she recommended that I use "A Haunted All Boys Ballet Academy." This idea made me almost die laughing!!! So please, if you will, enjoy Melissa's parody of Escaflowne meets Mtv's Fear….*WARNING* SOME SPOILERS MAY LIE AHEAD…*SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS* Don't say I didn't warn you!!!!!Each of them were kidnapped…all taken away, with white bags on their heads…
"Hi…My name is Kanzaki Hitomi, and I can promise you, that I did NOT want to be here!" The man recording her winced. "You're s'posed to say your age, and where you're from!" Hitomi glared into the camera. "I'm fifteen years old, and from Japan. There, are you happy?" Hitomi then stuck her tongue out at the camera.
"Good day, and welcome to "Ladies Man" with Allen Schezar. I'm your host, Allen Schezar." The camera man sweatdropped. "Mr. Schezar, this is Mtv's Fear, not Ladies Man…" Allen looked surprised "It isn't? Dammit…the Americans promised me my own show." Allen paused to regain his stature. "I'm Allen Schezar, twenty one years of age, from Asturia, and very, very single. Are there going to be any women on this trip, sir?" The camera man turned off the camera, before Allen could say any more.
The next man sat with his hands clasped tightly. "My name, is Folken Fanel. I am twenty five, and from the country of Zaibach. I like music, and flowers, and good times. I'll always remember the good times, with my cute little brother, Van. He gets grouchy often, especially when he forgets his paxil." Folken waved and flashed a cheesy smile. "What are we doing anyway?"
"Chiku…chiku…chiku…chiku…chiku…chiku…chiku…chiku…" The young boy stroked the scar on his cheek. "Excuse me young man…but what does that mean?" The boy looked up, his garnet eyes flared. "Are you questioning me? You dragged me all the way out here, with a bag on my head, which messed up my beautiful hair, and you are questioning me?!" The silver-haired albino got out of his chair, and slapped the camera man. "CUT!" He yelled. A black slate clicked in front of the screen, that said 'take two', as the boy, who was now bound to the chair with ropes, struggled to get out. "Now, what is your name, age, and location, boy?" The boy grinned sadistically. "Dilandau Albatou, fifteen rotations of the phantom moon, and from Zaibach." The camera man threw his hands in the air, "Success!!! The boy finally cooperated! Get the tranquilizer gun, now!"
A young girl with pink hair, pawed carelessly at a string dangling in front of her. She stopped, and looked at the camera. "My name is Merle Fanel." She licked the top of her hand playfully. "Well…it would be, if I married Van! I am thirteen rotations of the phantom moon, and from Fanelia. That's where Van is King! Lord Van is so cute. For our wedding, there will be flowers, and mice, and all that good stuff!" The camera man cut quickly to end the cat-girl's rants.
The next boy, had messy raven colored hair, and glared at the camera. "My name…is Van Fanel, King of all Fanelia. And you BETTER watch your backs, because I forgot my happy pills!" The camera man, who was left nameless, yelled. "What's your age?!" Van clenched his fists. "I WASN'T FINISHED!!! But, I'm fifteen rotations of the phantom moon, the same age as my dear, Hitomi. I love Hitomi, but I don't think she knows. Don't tell her, kay?"
The final fear contestant, a young blonde haired girl smiled, with her eyes closed. "I am Princess Millerna Sara Aston. Fifteen rotations of the Phantom Moon. From the country of Austuria. There are a lot of fifteen-year-olds, now I think of it." The camera man, already annoyed by the dumb blonde, said. "Come on let's go! Finish up" Millerna faced the camera, with tears welling up in her eyes. "But I love Allen!" she yelled. The MTV crew carried her away. "Goodbye, Sister!" She yelled as they dragged her away.
So there they were, the seven contestants of fear, all in the same van, with the same bags on their heads, and on their way to the haunted location. "Are we there yet?" Millerna yelled. Allen jumped in his seat. "YES! There are girls on this trip!" Hitomi then spoke up. "I think the scary part about this trip is that we don't know who is under each of these bags. I'm a little worried to find out myself." Van squirmed in his seat. "Hitomi? Is that…you?" Hitomi had a look of surprise on her face…which obviously could not be seen. "Van! I'm so happy you are here!" Dilandau cackled. "VAN!!! WHERE!?!?! I MUST KILL HIM!!!" The man driving the van was furious…let's just say his name was…John. He banged on his seat. "All of you just better shut up! You aren't s'posed to know who yeh are!" The van stopped, and John led them all out of the car.
"You can all take those bags off your heads now." John said irritated. He pointed to a small house. "That's the safe house, you stay there." With that, he turned the van around, and left. Everyone took the bags off of their heads. Hitomi and Van hugged. Dilandau stood with his arms crossed. Merle clung to Van. Folken read a newspaper. Allen and Millerna, were already making out. "This is going to be so boring" Dilandau said feeling very alone. Folken, assuming the role as leader, cleared his throat. "I believe, that we should head to the safe house!" Van shoved his brother. "Who died and made you leader!?" Folken got up, and dusted himself off. "Well no one else was taking action." Dilandau glared. He then walked over to Folken and Van, and slapped them. "Would you two just shut the hell up?! I'll be the leader. Get your stuff together, and follow me!!!" Everyone, too afraid to say no, got their things together, and finally made it to the safe house.
Hitomi, who was somehow standing next to Dilandau, not afraid, opened the door. Inside the abandoned room, was a small laptop, a bunch of cameras, and a lot of snacks. Dilandau smirked, looking at the supply of food that could last weeks, and slapped Van on the back. "Maybe you can finally gain some weight, bulimic boy." Van glared at Dilandau. "I'm not bulimic! At least I have one set gender!" Dilandau cringed. "Huh?" Everyone looked around, with innocent expressions. "Oh, it's nothing." Hitomi kicked Van, "You weren't supposed to say anything, you big…dork." Hitomi then ran over to the computer, being the only one with knowledge of that sort of thing. "It says, that we each need to pick a color out of that bag, so it can represent us." Everyone crowded around the bag, and picked their colors at the same time. Hitomi, got blue. Folken, got black. Dilandau got red, to which this he celebrated, chanting "Moero." Millerna got yellow. Allen got green. Merle got purple, and Van, got pink. Merle tried to console a now, very grouchy Van. "I'll trade you, Lord Van." Van shook his head. "That's okay Merle."
Hitomi then continued to type on the computer. Folken walked up to her. "What is that?" He asked with curiosity. Hitomi pointed a finger in the air, and said in a "matter-of-factly" tone, "It's a computer!" Folken looked at her. "Ah…A comfooder. We must invent some on Gaea." Hitomi didn't even bother to correct Folken. "It says that we all have to get our color equipment on, and the color with the first dare, is…Pink! Navigator Red!" Dilandau jumped. "I…get to be the navigator…for Van? HA HA HA!!! I will lead him to his very doom!" Van put his camera on. "What the hell is this thing?" He said out loud. Hitomi, who was making sure everything was ready, told him it was a 'camera' . Folken jumped up to Hitomi and Van. "What's a Canera? Is it a place where they can food? I must see one!" Hitomi rolled her eyes. "No offense Van…but I think your brother could use a hearing aid." With that, they sent Van out the door, and on his way…to the haunted school…
"Hello VAN! You are going to DIE!!!" Dilandau said over the walkie-talkie. This was not very reassuring to Van. "Screw you!" He retorted. Van could hear Hitomi in the background, telling Dilandau to say the right things. Van could see his breath, as he nervously inched towards a huge building. A crooked sign on the front of the building, read "Harmony All Boys Ballet Academy" Van looked into the camera. "This is the dumbest thing…" Dilandau cackled on the other side of the walkie-talkie, "Van! Are you at a sign that says "Harmony All Boys Academy?" Over." Van started to get scared. "Yeah…what do I do? Over." Dilandau ignored Van. "YOU STUPID PYRO! WHAT DO I DO?!" Dilandau's tone change to sarcastic, "So, I'm stupid, huh? I guess I'll just lock you out of the safe house and steal…no kill your girlfriend. Over…" Van swallowed hard. "Hitomi! You better not hurt her!" Dilandau popped a pretzel in house mouth. "Yeah yeah…just get your skinny ass in there, and I'll let you know. Over…" Van opened the doors.
A/N: YEAH! End of chapter one!!! I hope you liked it!!! Please please review. Be nice! If I get at least 10 positive reviews, I PROMISE I'll write some more! I know it isn't very funny yet, but it will be eventually. Forgive any typos I may have over-looked too, please!