It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...but how can you be sure?
Can love be eternal? Or is that too much of a romantic's viewpoint?
Maybe it is too much to hope for.
But...
I still feel the need to search for it.
Is that...
Crazy?
Chapter One: Some Things Are Meant To Be Left Unseen
So many books. Joseph Conrad, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Ken Kesey, Virginia Woolfe. What do they know that we don't? Obviously more about human nature and behavior than a high school student could ever imagine. But isn't this the time of a person's life where they can be exposed to different people and start to realize that the world isn't as kind a place as we once made it out to be.
I'm getting a migraine. Nagihiko thought as he rummaged through his locker.
"What's up Nagi?" Kukai approached him front behind, leaning against the lockers beside his own. "What you thinking about so hard?"
"I'm trying to discover the purpose in life."
"How's that coming?"
"Turns out life kind of sucks." Nagihiko explained as he stacked books in his arms.
"Funny how things work out." Kukai commented watching Nagi stack the books higher and higher in his arms. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, you may be known for your grace, but..."
Nagihiko couldn't tell whether Kukai was really concerned or not. It was getting harder and harder to tell when his friend was just mocking him.
"I'm sure I can handle it." And sure enough, after he said so he tripped over his foot and went flying forward, the books scattering across the floor.
"Perfect." Nagihiko muttered to himself trying to collect the books, effectively avoiding Kukai's gaze on his back which he knew wrecked of "I told you so." When he tried to gather some another fell, hitting a shoe. He wondered who...and blushed when he looked up.
Amu bent down and handed him a few books she had gathered for him, "Are you alright?"
He nodded dumbly, accepting the books she had handed him. "Thanks." He managed to control the muscles in his jaw long enough to get out that word.
She smiled at him sweetly, God she had an amazing smile, "No problem."
She got up and brushed off her skirt. "I'll see you in class." She added waving as she walked down the hall.
Nagihiko watched with a dazed look. When he turned back, Kukai was looking at him amused. He straightened out his shoulders and narrowed his eyes, "What are you looking at?" He asked defensively.
"Nothing...," Kukai replied smoothly sidestepping Nagi's glare, "Just a man struck by the bitch called love. Or is that cupid?"
"Shut up." Nagihiko told him, without much malous in his voice and went walking away, Kukai, persistently, followed.
"What are you getting so worked up about?" Kukai asked walking beside him, "It's not like I asked what you liked about her. Whether it be her personality, her smile, her shapely-"
Nagihiko threw a book at him, "I'm going to have to stop you right there."
Kukai grabbed the book and paused for a moment, thinking, then saying to himself, "It must be the latter reason."
"Don't make assumptions!" Nagihiko yelled at him.
"Sorry, sorry." Kukai apologized grabbed some books from Nagihiko, "But seriously, why don't you just ask her out."
Nagihiko sighed, "It's not that simple."
"Sure it is. You just ask her out, she says yes, and everybody's happy."
"And if she says no?"
Kukai kind of looked at him funny and wondered, "Says no huh,...I've never had to deal with that before."
"This is not about you!" Nagihiko yelled at him, again.
Kukai just rubbed the back of his head laughing with an apology, he was just a more interesting topic. "I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Put the book down." Kukai pleaded when Nagihiko raised a book in the air to throw towards Kukai.
When they tried to continue moving forward, they were stopped by a wall of people. "Out of the way! Make room for Mashiro-san!"
They went to one side of the hall and watched as the girl Rima Mashiro walked past, surrounded by boys she claimed to be her servants (something they never denied either).
"Speaking of girls with twisted control over the male species." Kukai noted, turning to Nagihiko, smiling like he was telling a joke, "Do you really want to strive for Amu to the point of desperation and become... one of them?" Nagihiko looked over at the poor souls that thought they had a chance with Rima, when really, she just had them wrapped around her finger.
"You have a point." Nagihiko acknowledged, "But I still don't think I can do it."
Kukai nodded, "I understand. Amu is a cute girl and has her own little fan club."
Kukai pondered over the thought for a moment before saying, "I might have a shot with her. How about I go give her a test run for you."
When Kukai set off to go find her, his leg was lifted off the ground and he fell face first to the floor. "Ugh...I was only kidding."
"You have a sick sense of humor."
"Alright," Kukai said, getting serious, "But I'm warning you. You better not hold off telling her, or else you'll regret it in the end."
Nagihiko just ignored him. He didn't believe that. He wanted to hold on to the last bit of hope he had before it was completely gone.
~Flip the Paige~
"Please Nagi~!"
"I have to pick up my little brother after school. Could you please switch cleaning duty with me?"
Nagihiko smiled at the girls, "Sure. It's not a problem."
They both looked relieved, "Thanks Nagi~"
Behind him, he could feel a glare, and he turned slightly to see Kukai's face inches from his own, making him jump back in surprise. "What?"
"I seriously think you have a disease." Kukai observed, "You're too nice for your own good," Nagihiko blew him off, "Just go to soccer practice."
"Oh, I'm going. I'm afraid I can't associate with you any longer, whatever you have could be contagious."
"Yeah," Nagihiko agreed, "It would be a shame if you were to be a little more courteous of others."
Kukai stuck out his tongue before running out the door, "Out of the way people!" Apparently he was already late.
Nagihiko shook his head in dismay towards his friend. Before he got up, he was caught by the sound of laughter. He looked forward and saw that Amu was laughing with Rima Mashiro. He wondered what it was that made her laugh, and if Rima was the cause of it.
He really hated Rima at that moment. She was a bitter girl that manipulated others, but still got to be friends with Amu. Some things just weren't fair. He sighed, leaving the room to get some fresh air before he had to clean.
"Nagi!" On his way out, he was stopped by some girls. "Could you help us please? These boxes are really heavy."
"Sure." Nagihiko took the boxes from their hands.
"Can you take them to the storage closet?"
"No problem." Nagi said heading that way.
They squealed with excitement, "Thanks Nagi~!"
Watching them walk out the door, Nagihiko couldn't help but wonder if Kukai was right. Maybe he did have a disease.
He was already tired, and he hadn't even started cleaning yet. He headed back to the classroom he stopped at the sound of a giggle. He looked down at his watch, but it was too late for anyone to still be in the classroom. He could already hear Kukai's comments on the scandalous affair that was going on inside. He ignored that idea to be ridiculous, but still he wasn't sure he wanted to go in.
Tentatively, he slide the door open a crack to peek inside. He was surprised to see Rima sitting at her desk with a book open. He was kind of relieved, but at the same time not. He still had to clean, and it's kind of hard to tell a girl like that to get out if she doesn't want to. He opened the door all the way, preparing himself for the worst, when she burst out into laughter. With what he was most surprised about sounded with genuine feeling. He was surprised she actually had any.
She got carried away with herself. She jumped out of her chair and did a small comical move "The Bala-Balance!" Nagihiko just froze, staring at her in utter disbelief. She didn't even know he was there until she spun around and stopped mid-turn, finally taking notice of his presence. Her eyes got wide as she stared back at him.
At that time he should of known that everything was about to change,
She just didn't want to admit it.