A/N: Okay, so I've once again got a new story, probably about three chapters, maybe more. I really do intend to finish it, and if I don't… well just stalk me until I do.:P

I'm not really sure about it, because I'm afraid it might be a little OOC, but well, just read and let me know what you think!

Anyway, it's Addex, obviously, and it begins on the day she comes back from her trip from LA, so yeah, they go from there…

ENJOY!

~~Alex's POV~~

A familiar flash of red caught his eye and made his head turn – as always. She was back.

Standing at the abandoned nurses' station she subconsciously ran her right foot up and down her left leg and bit on the end of her pen. As she concentrated on the chart in her hand she had no idea she was almost killing him by just looking like she did.

He took her in and noticed the slight changes. The new color of her skin – she had gained a nice tan – and the way she just looked even more beautiful than before. Or was that just because he hadn't seen her for a while? A while that had felt like an eternity, by the way. Oh, what could he say, absence made the heart grow fonder, right? If only that would be the same for her. He was fairly sure she hated him, and she had every reason to.

He had tried not to hurt her, but he had been a total jerk and he had seen the hurt in her eyes. He hadn't wanted to see that hurt, because it meant that he had failed once again. He didn't even know anymore why he had told her 'you're not my girlfriend'. She had not been his girlfriend, true, but it wasn't what you usually said to a woman, especially one you liked very very much, and she hadn't even asked to be his girlfriend. All she had done was invite him back to her hotel room to help him 'study', an offer that had been very appealing and refusing it had been extremely hard for him.

But he had done it, the stupidest thing ever, his biggest mistake. It had been a chance at happiness, at safety and possibly love. That picture had always frightened him however, and he had always seen it as something he'd never have and he had never felt the need to. He wasn't good with feelings and people, so when Addison came along, he freaked out. Mainly because she had been the first one in a long time who had taken him as he was and had gotten to know him, seen him as a decent guy, whatever that was. She scared him because she was the first woman with who he actually wanted to have 'that picture', the happiness, the safety and the love with and she was the first to also want that with him.

She had believed in him despite his flaws, which was something he wasn't quite used to. So he had tried to make her realize he wasn't worth it and at the same time to not hurt her, only to realize he had anyway when he saw the look in her eyes – too late.

She suddenly looked up from her chart – giving him no time to quickly look away – and caught him staring at her. He couldn't help but smile a little smile, one she didn't return. Her eyes stayed fairly cold and she just looked at him with an expressionless face before focusing on the chart in her hand again.

He sighed, those cold eyes… how was he ever going to make that right? She really didn't deserve to be treated like that – especially not after everything that had already happened to her – so that meant he had to apologize to her, make things right. And he wanted to, definitely, he would do anything to just take everything back and maybe even be with her, give it a shot, because that was what he really wanted… but she deserved better than him. Someone that didn't hurt her or send her running for the hills. He had to talk to her though, apologize, because he might be able to see her with another guy some day – if he would make her happy and be at least a little worth her – but there was no way he would be able to handle her giving him cold looks and being mad at him.

He slowly approached her, not taking his eyes off her. She looked up when he came to a halt in front of her. For a moment he lost himself in her beautiful blue eyes which resulted in him noticing the color of her skin wasn't the only thing that had changed. It seemed as if she had come to carry another burden, something else that made her even unhappier. There was, on the other hand, also a small twinkling, barely noticeable but it at least existed. It was as if LA had given her her energy back again, the power to fight for the things she wanted and deserved.

She eventually broke their staring as she raised a questioning eyebrow at him before looking down at her chart again.

"Addison… could we talk?" he asked her, trying to not sound too desperate.

"It's dr. Montgomery for you, Karev, and no, we can not talk, I'm busy," she told him flatly, not looking up from her chart.

He had to hide a flinch when he heard the professional tone of her voice, as if she was talking to a stranger. No, she would probably be nicer to a stranger, which hurt even more.

He studied her face and felt relief wash over him when she looked up again and he saw her eyes. She might be able to let her voice sound like she didn't care, her eyes said something entirely different. Her eyes told him she did care and it gave him hope, maybe there was still a chance. Her eyes were the opposite of her face, numerous emotions running through them. Knowing she did care, he felt himself able to soften his eyes and look at her so that maybe she would understand, so that maybe she would want to talk to him after all.

As she looked up at him recognition and then fear flashed through her eyes, she had definitely understood. There was fear though, fear to be hurt again. He was about to reach for her hand, knowing that now that they were looking at each other in that way she might not pull back, when they were interrupted by Mark.

He really didn't like that guy, he was an ass and he had hurt Addison multiple times. He had even cheated on her, on Addison Forbes Montgomery, who would ever do that? It was her, that had to say enough, right?

"Addison!" Mark yelled with a smile as he came strolling towards them.

Addison turned around, turning her back to him and her front towards Mark, nodded politely at Mark. He could only hope she was annoyed too, even if it was only a little.

"Mark." Addison smiled a sweet smile, one that didn't completely reach her eyes. Maybe, just maybe, he was right…

"What, and he can call you Addison?" he whispered in her ear as they waited for Mark to finish talking to the nurse that had suddenly appeared from nowhere.

Standing behind her he could smell her shampoo and his hands itched to touch her, anywhere. As he breathed out again he could see goose bumps appear on her skin. Did he still have that effect on her?

His thoughts were interrupted when she looked over her shoulder, smirking slightly when she saw his jealous expression before he quickly hid it. "Yeah, well, I used to be his girlfriend – or something like that anyway, once you reach that you can call me Addison, too." Touché.

She looked in his eyes for a moment, trying to look smug, before turning back to Mark who was still consulting something with the nurse. She couldn't completely hide the hurt in her eyes though, not from him, and he once again felt a mixture of guilt and hope.

"I wish," he told her honestly, his mouth only inches away from her ear.

She looked at him with a slightly disturbed expression on her face, her mouth almost too close to his to bear. "No, you don't," she whispered, shaking her head.

He finally put his right hand on her hip and pulled her slightly closer, knowing she couldn't pull back now and leaned slightly closer until he could feel her ear against his lips, even if it was only a ghost of a touch. "I really do," he whispered softly, feeling her stiffen slightly. She surprisingly leaned into his touch and against him and he felt his heart start to beat faster and faster, he had not expected her to react to his touch in that way. She sighed softly, regret and desire for what they could have evident, as he put his other hand on her other hip. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and he knew she had craved for this moment just as much as he had, whether she wanted to admit it or not. Noticing Mark was about to finish his talk he took one last breath of her scent before pulling back and increasing the distance between them, his hands falling from her hips and immediately missing their spot. She suddenly seemed to wake from her trance and quickly recovered, clearing her throat.

He couldn't help but smirk a little, even though there hadn't been any people around she wasn't one to take risks concerning her reputation of being very professional and having a very intimate moment with your intern wasn't really something that was considered professional. That had to mean something, right?

"You're back," Mark commented when he proceeded reaching them, smiling happily at her.

"Yes, I am. You seem a bit surprised, though," she answered, looking at him questioningly.

Mark smiled apologetically. "No, I just… was afraid it might become something… permanent."

He frowned. What did Sloan mean by that?

"Oh," was all that Addison said, a sign she did understand, something that made him seriously worried. What was going on?

When she didn't say anything else Mark looked questioningly at her. "Well, will it?"

She looked at him for a moment. "I honestly don't know," she told Mark, then nodded at him before she glanced behind her, her eyes finding his and staying on him just a little longer than would be expected from normal co-workers, and walked away.

Both men watched her before they looked at each other. "What did you two mean?" he asked Mark concerned.

Mark raised his eyebrows, anger evident in his eyes. "You didn't understand?" Mark asked him annoyed.

When he didn't reply he continued. "It means we might loose her to sunny LA," Mark told him. "So you better do whatever you didn't do or apologize for whatever you did do, because else she will go, believe me. She chose you the moment she pushed you into that on-call room so you better hurry up, because you're the one that can make her stay." And so Mark walked away too, leaving him standing alone at the nurses' station, staring at her still descending form.

He had to get her back.

A/N: Okay, so that was the first chapter.:)

Let me know what you thought, favorite sentences, etc.