Title: Back In Your Head (And All Over You)
Author: Nat
Summary: Plus he thinks he's pretty sure he heard somewhere that chicks dig scars and that makes him think about things he hasn't thought about in years.
Fandom: Sea Patrol
Pairing: Mike/Kate
Spoilers: Rule of Engagment, A Brilliant Career
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not my Sandbox
A/N: Does anyone else feel the urge to lick the tiny little scar in between Ian Stenlake's eyes? Cause i do. all the time. Yes I may have been staring at it for too long. And yes I have scar kink.
---
There was a knock on his cabin door, followed by "It's me Sir."
Kate, he smiles to himself and relaxes, not bothering to get up.
"Come in X."
Kate pushes the door open, shuffling inside his cabin, closing it softly behind her, instantly deflecting her eyes when she catches sight of him. His overalls are thrown over a chair and he's dressed in only a pair of shorts and a white tee. Mike smirks at her.
"I can come back later, Sir."
"You've see me in less, its fine X."
Kate blushes and he can't stop the grin forming on his lips, he loves this, catching her off guard. Being able to watch the pink flush rise over her cheekbones, knowing exactly what she's thinking about. Kate keeps her eyes on the floor, and he knows if he doesn't say something first, she's likely to bolt straight from the room.
"Relax Kate, I'm just changing the dressing on my leg." His grin melts into a soft smile, only meant for her.
She looks up tentatively and he nods to the chair, indicating for her to sit as he moves over to his rack, sitting on the edge of it so he has easy access to the bandages on his thigh. Kate picks up his overalls, draping them over the arm of the chair and he knows it's a good sign when she practically sprawls herself in it, sighing loudly.
Looking at her carefully, he knows she's stressed by the way she rolls her shoulders and the way she pulls at the end of her plaited hair, telltale signs he learnt early on when they were together. She props her elbow on the chair arm and rests her head in her hand.
"Want to talk about it?" He asks carefully, not making a move towards his leg just yet.
Her eyes meet his then, the green just a little less bright and then she smiles, this tiny smile at him and replies, "I'm fine. Just tired."
He contemplates pushing it, but in truth he believes her for the most part. The Hammersley's schedule has been demanding over the past week, and as soon as they get back into port it will be a fast turn around. So that means no shore leave. He wishes he could do something for her, to help her, but he knows he can't unless there is something wrong, in which case, Mike hopes she knows she can talk to him about anything if she wanted too.
Instead he nods, "It's been a rough few days."
Kate laughs tiredly, "Yeah, you can say that again… Anyway, the reason I came down here is Charge wants to take down one of the engines for maintenance, and I thought I'd just check with you. I'd hate for the Captain of the ship not to be informed of what's going on. "
When his eyes meet hers this time, some of her usual spark is back and he smiles at her, because he knows he's the cause, even if it's only that she's mocking him. He thinks back to the first few days she was stationed on Hammersley and how closed off she was to him. Now he's just happy for her to be sitting here with him, even if she is making fun of him.
He pretends to think about it for a moment, then smiles at her, "That should be fine X."
Kate's still smiling at him, and as usual their gaze holds a second longer than normal before she moves to get up. He doesn't really want her to leave, not yet; he's enjoying her company without the crew around, which is rare and he finds he misses the quiet private moments like this. He struggles for a moment trying to think of something, anything, to keep her here with him for a moment longer.
"Kate, stay a moment and help me with this." He nods at his desk where the bandages and gauze and antiseptic lie. Kate stills her movement, eyes searching his, and he knows that she knows he doesn't need any help changing the dressing, but he's curious if she'll indulge him.
After a few seconds she nods, that small smile hovering over her lips again.
Kate starts gathering up the supplies off his desk, while he just watches her. He will admit he hasn't really thought about her over the years, though she hasn't been just other girl in another port either. But they'd both had different ideas and career paths and she'd be so obviously younger then himself that it had seemed like a given they wouldn't stay together long. Kate had been beautiful then of course, but there had always been something there to remind him she was just a girl.
He looked at her now and saw a woman. Strong, bright, like she'd grown into her own skin and now stood as his equal. If possible she'd grown more beautiful, subtle changes that suited her now more then before and absolutely mesmerized him at times. He caught himself watching her more these days and marvelling in the changes he saw, and when he heard the stories of her standing tall defending her crew, fighting for them, well Mike thinks if he let himself, he could fall hard for this woman.
Kate shuffles the chair closer to him and drops herself into it again, supplies in her lap and he takes that as a sign to start unravelling the bandage around his thigh. He does that carefully, because even though it's been a few weeks the wound is still a bit tender (although he didn't tell Marshall that). He pulls the gauze off and it catches on the stitches, pulling them briefly and he lets out a hiss and sees Kate wince out of the corner of his eye.
"When do the stitches come out?" Kate asks, while she takes the gauze from him as she hands him the antiseptic.
"Next week, when we get back into port." He replies, then adds, "What do you reckon the odds are that I could convince Swain to take them out for me?"
Kate frowns at him, "Now that I know that, slim to none."
Mike gives her a cheeky grin, but Kate's expression doesn't change. In fact she looks at him more pointedly and he knows its warning; a 'Don't you even think about it' look and he wonders whether she'll go speak to Swain after she leaves his cabin, just in case he was serious. Of course he isn't, because Mike knows he's already pushed it enough trying to get back to Hammersley as quickly as possible. But Kate looks like she has her doubts.
"Don't worry," He says, wanting to reassure her, to somehow remove the frown from her face, "I won't do anything stupid."
She rolls her eyes at him then, like she doesn't believe him at all but hands him the fresh gauze anyway.
"Will the scaring bother you?" Kate asks a moment later, her eyes lingering on his thigh.
"Nah." He replies, because really scaring is the last thing on his mind and he's not really concerned about it. Plus he thinks he's pretty sure he heard somewhere that chicks dig scars and that makes him think about things he hasn't thought about in years.
He grins just thinking about it and wonders if he can make her blush twice in the space of ten minutes.
"From what I can remember, it shouldn't bother you either."
Mike watches her carefully as her eyes instantly dart to the small scar almost between his eyes and he can't help but smirk. Kate blushes and suddenly he's transported to a different time and place, where they're both someone else but exactly the same. He can remember the way she used to straddle his thighs, hands pushing into his hair holding him still while her lips grazed the small mark.
Imagines of Kate rolling above him, her tongue tasting the thin silver line on his collar bone from his youth and footy playing days flashing through his mind. Mike had been sure she'd mapped out all the marks on his body; it seemed to be a favourite pastime for her when they'd been together.
"I thought we weren't talking about that?" Kate asks, a pinkness still high on her cheekbones.
"We're not," he replies, shaking his head faintly, "We're talking about your scar fetish."
Her reaction is almost instantaneous, exactly what he's hoping for.
"It is not a fetish," She scoffs, and Mike nearly laughs.
"Kink, then?" He retorts.
Kate responds by shoving the bandages for his leg into his chest and getting up from her seat, heading for the door. He wants to grab her to stop her, but he doesn't have a chance because she whirls around, hands on hips, eyebrows raised in a challenge.
"I never heard you complaining."
His breath catches in his throat, and he stares at her, his eyes boring into hers and god, what can he say to that? Kate refuses to back down though, all pretence of playful banter gone and she stares him down defiantly, almost daring him to play the rank card and dismiss her. But he isn't going to do that; this is the first time she's actually spoken of their previous relationship and he's not about to let her out that easy.
Standing up slowly, mindful of his thigh, he doesn't break her gaze, instead zeroing in on her intently and he shakes his head softly, "Why would I? There was never anything wrong with that part of our relationship."
Kate inhales sharply, and he swears his heart is thumping so loud in his chest she'd be able to hear it. The tension in the room is weaving a tangled web around them and he has to wonder if they'll ever escape it, or would it always be like this?
Because really, Mike knows he doesn't want it to be like this with her, suffocating tension till the point it's unbearable to even be left in the same room as each other. He doesn't want it to get to that point, just because of all the things they're not saying to each other. Because if anything, over the past year she's become a good friend and he doesn't want to lose that, but also, he can't really bare the thought of her finding someone else either.
There are so many emotions running through her eyes, and it's almost as if he can read her like a book; the fear, the hope, the over whelming anxiety that always came with speaking about their history, all shining brightly through for him to see (the green in her eyes always seemed to gleam intensely when she got emotional). Stepping forward, he reaches out for her, having no idea what he's suppose to do now, but somehow he wants to soothe the waves they're making.
Kate flinches, stepping back slightly away from him, and he pauses mid step, his hand hanging in limbo between them.
"I can't do this." She whispers, turning quickly for the door, tugging frantically at the handle, but he's quicker. Taking long strides he's behind her in an instant, moving his hand over her shoulder to flatten against the smooth wood of his cabin door, pushing it shut again.
He leaves his hand where it is, effectively cutting off her exit, his hand so close to her head that if he moves his thumb slightly to the right he'll be able to feel the soft silky strands of her hair. Kate flattens herself against the cabin door, trying to put as much distance between them as their tight quarters will allow, but Mike doesn't move, towering over her, his height his only advantage.
"Mike please." She begs, voice trembling, and he doesn't know whether she is begging for him to stop or to push forward, her eyes so conflicted it almost physically makes him ache for her and he can't help but shift forward, the space between them fading. Moving his hand slowly, he drags the tip of his thumb over the soft skin of her temple. Kate's eyes slip shut at the contact, and her breathing hitches, and god it would be so easy for him to lean in, closing what little gap is left between them. To kiss her, like he's been dreaming about for countless weeks now. He can almost remember how she tastes and the temptation to see if it's still the same causes him to lick his lips unconsciously.
But he can't, his sense of duty too strong, Navy regulations are suddenly screaming through his head, forcing him to still barely inches from her, and it's like Kate can sense the shift in him, her eyes opening slowly, the green darker than normal. There is so much he wants to say to her, declarations on the tip of his tongue but he can't force them past his lips.
Kate stares up at him, realisation of how close they'd come to upsetting the delicate balance they'd come to depend on. But there is frustration in her eyes; an unfairness that he's sure is mirrored in his. She smiles sadly up at him and that makes him want to promise things to her that he had no right promising. Things she wouldn't let him promise.
He moves back slowly, letting his fingertips brush lightly against the side of her neck as he removes his hand from the door, and he watches as she bites her lower lip, tempering anything she was going to say. Sighing softly she turns, reaching for the handle and making her escape silently.
The door clicks shut, and he listens carefully for her footsteps as she walks away. Clenching his fist he bangs it against the door, then turns, leaning against it. Mike squeezes his eyes shut, running a hand through his hair. It's getting too hard, watching her walk away. But he knows nothing can be done; neither of them willing to give up Hammersley now, and he has to laugh at that, the irony of when she first came aboard and proclaimed she would only be here till Hammersley was decommissioned and now she's a crucial part of the crew, her love of big ships replaced.
It all feels a little bit hopeless sometimes, like they both are investing into something that is just never going to happen again, like maybe they've had their chance and they've missed it. But he just can't believe that, because she's been posted to his command and it has to be fate or something like it: another chance for them after all these years, since the first time around hadn't been quite right.
Mike sighs, lingering near the door a second longer, then moves back to his bunk, the warmth he'd felt from her presence gone. Sitting on his rack he scrubs a hand through his hair in frustration before returning to the task at hand. Picking up the badge he concentrates on redressing the wound, in hopes that it will distract him from thinking entirely too much about 'What if'.
fin