A Biology Class to Remember
Author's Note and Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Also, if you think that what gets done in this experiment is disgusting, at least you didn't have to actually do it! I did and yuck!!!!!!!!!! Also, please stick with the story until the end, there is a punch line.
TK and Kari walked into Biology class that day innocently unaware of what the lab experiment would have them do. They sat down at their table with the other kids that made up their lab team, a girl named Tisha and a boy named Ferio. The teacher passed out their lab packets and then walked to the front of the class. Kari picked up the packet and began to read. "EWWWWWWWW!" She exclaimed. "No! I am not doing this! NO!" Soon similar compliants echoed throughout the room. The teacher watched us, an amused look on her face.
"Does anyone need to go to the bathroom, I don't think we have enough liquid for the whole class." She said, a smirk still upon her face. Ms. Shell, had a reputaiton for being kind of...odd. Most of the students loved her for it though. She was the teacher that stood in the hall holding a dead squid during passing periods. Ms. Shell said that someone should see it whole one last time before the thing was disected. She also would ask if anyone wanted some calamari the next day. All in all, she was a cool teacher to have. If you weren't the squimesh type. TK was definatly not squimesh, nither was Kari for that matter. Being Digidestined they had seen their share of blood, guts, and other things that would make any normal person vomit. However, even TK was repulsed by the assigment that was presented to them.
One boy, Kyle, raised his hand slowly. "Ummm, I have to go." He said cheeks red.
"Okay, but take this with you, and please, wash your hands when you're done." She handed him an empty, glass beaker." He stood up from his table and took the proffered beaker. 'Ewww's' erupted from the class again. Ms. Shell walked back to her demo table that had three very large beakers of golden yellow solution in them. "Now, you have three samples, one a control, meaning a sample of what normal urine should be. The other two may or may not have anomollies. Keep in mind, three samples with several different tests to do on each. Work quickly and you will get all the tests done. The details of the procedure are in the packets I handed to you at the begining of class. While doing the tests please remember to fill in your data tables. Any questions?"
"Yeah, is there an alternitive assignment?" asked a girl.
"No." Just then Kyle returned, with a half full beaker. Ms. Shell took it from him. "Hmmm, still warm." She commented. More 'Ewws' and whimpers erupted. She placed the smaller beaker next to the larger ones. "So take a rack of test tubes and get to work! One rack per table."
Ferio stood up, "I'll go get the rack." He muttered.
"Isn't this illegal? It definatly isn't sanitary, I mean the food science class is in here too." Tisha said as Ferio placed the rack on the table.
"If it was illegal would we be doing it?" TK said, a disgusted tone in his voice. "okay, this is sick."
Kari, all buisness, opened the packet to the data table they were supposed to fill out. "Okay, color?"
"Ummm," TK said, "Urine colored?" Kari gave him a look. "Okay, I say golden yellow."
"Like your hair?" Ferio commented writing in his notebook.
"That was low man, *real* low." TK said feining hurt.
"Yeah, we all know how much he loves his hair," Kari contiued the teasing "He spends all of five seconds every morning making sure it looks perfect."
"Okay, will you quit picking on me!" TK asked.
"Next sample looks florecent yellow. The third looks just yellow." Tisha said, looking at the test tubes without touching them. Then she glanced at the packet, "All are transparent except for the middle one."
"Okay." Kari said writing it down. "Next test is" She blanched "...ummm...odor."
"WHAT!!!!!" Tisha screamed. "I'm not smelling that!"
"I've got allergies, I can't smell anything." Ferio said.
Everyone looked at TK. "No! I'm not! That's just, yuck!" He said, for lack of better words.
"You wouldn't make *me* do it would you TK?" Kari asked with puppy dog eyes.
"Well, no." TK stammered. Tisha was giving him the same look. TK swore under his breath. "Fine." He took a pair of test tube tongs and used it to lift the control. "Smells!" He said, his face wrinkling in distaste. "Oh, smell! EWWWWW." He quickly put it back, then rubbed at his nose as though it would help the foul odor go away. He took a deep breath of clean air. "Okay, next." He got nothing. "No smell."
"Maybe the other one was so bad, you won't be able to smell anything else for your entire life." Tisha suggested.
"Wouldn't surprise me," He took the third. "This one smells." He shook his head. "Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck."
That done they went to the nest tests witch were, pH level, and sugar level. Then came the last test, iron level. "You're taking this one Tisha, I did the smelling." TK said immidatly. "I'm not boiling urine on the stove."
Tisha sighed, and got up. She got a different set of test tube tongs, this one longer, and went over to the stoves that the food science class used. She pulled on her safety goggles, and turned on the burner. With a disgusted look on her face she moved the test tube to the flame. After that test was done the group answered the questions that came after the data table. When the entire class was finished, Ms. Shell once again got onto her soapbox. "So, how did you like the experiment?" She said cheerfully.
"This should be illegal!" Tisha said out loud, the class agreed.
"In all acuallity, it is." She smiled, her 'this is so funny' smile as the kids gave her blank looks, confused. "That's why we're using artificall urine."
"WHAT!! We thought it was real!" a girl named Sara exclaimed. "What about the urine sample that you had Kyle bring back?"
"That beaker was in an empty locker in the hall, I told him to wait outside until I got through with questions."
"Well," TK said. "At least I didn't *really* smell urine."
"These mixtures are made up of quite a few different chemicals, ummm, let's see..." She began to rattle off the ingrident list. "The sample with the high protien level has a little blood mixed into it. It's from a steak that I defrosted last night."
"Where's the steak?" Asked Ferio.
"On the menu for tonight's dinner." She replied cooly marking something down on her clipboard. She looked up as the bell rang. "That's it for today, don't forget to turn in your packets."
~~
Yep, that was the biology experiment I did. Yes, that stuff did smell gross, it looked gross, and yes, we did boil it over the burner of a stove.