If its War Sirius wants it's a War he shall get!

Summary: Getting Sirius Black to get up in the morning is a task of skill, patience and imagination. These are three things lucky Remus Lupin has; he has also been given the job of getting Sirius up. How does he plan to do that? And is Sirius more awake then they anticipate? Not Slash. PLEASE R&R!

Disclaimer: Ah it's our lovely friend the disclaimer again, Its not like I want anything to do with Harry Potter and the millions of pounds, and the fame and big houses. Fame does nothing good for anyone.

Sirius Black was many things, handsome, loyal as can be, kind to everyone except Sytherins, brave, a prankster, a playboy, an illegal animagi and incredibly lazy!

Getting Sirius Black to get up in the morning was such a task the other 3 boys had arguments on who had the duty of doing the mission practically everyday. Unfortunately for the quiet boy Remus Lupin he usually loses the arguments so he was stuck with the job.

"Sirius" Remus whispers, poking him gently

"Sirius"

"SIRIUS" More forcefully

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK GET YOUR LAZY ARSE OUT OF THAT BED NOW!" Remus bellows. Sirius grunts, mumbles something incoherently and falls back to sleep again snoring enough to drive the cows home.

Remus walks up to the head of the bed where Sirius's head was laying bent down to eye level and whispers continually "Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Siri" Not seeing this plan through completely Remus finds himself in a head lock under Sirius's arm.

"Mm, lovely teddy" Sirius mumbles patting Remus's head.

Breaking free forcefully, Frustrated Remus throws the duvet off thanking Merlin that Sirius was wearing something, grips his feet and pulls. Unfortunately for him Sirius seems to have predicted this as he was now holding onto the headboard so hard his knuckles went white.

"Sirius come on! We have class and I don't want to be late!" Remus shouts dropping Sirius's feet back down hard on the bed "accidentally" letting them hit the board at the end of the bed with a nasty thud.

"Ah fuck Moony! Jeez could you be anymore kind?" The now annoyed Sirius Black shouts sarcastically. But this only lasts about 2 minutes before unbelievably he is back to snoring!

Remus's widened in shock and slight awe 'How does he do that, Right this calls for Plan B'. Remus tiptoes to the bathroom grabbing the bin which sits near the sink. Thankfully the house elves had emptied it earlier so Remus filled it with icy cold water and to add to the effect conjured a few ice cubes. Chuckling evilly he tiptoed back to the bed careful not to spill any. Readying himself to pour it straight over Sirius's head he did not notice Sirius reach to his side to grab his wand.

Before Remus could register what was happening he found himself drenched in freezing cold water, "S..S..Shittt SSSirriusss". Shivering he made his way back to the bathroom to warm up and dry himself up.

Now warm and dry, Remus Lupin was determined not to fail his mission 'If it's a war he wants, it's a war he shall get'

1 very long hour later

A very tired, pissed off Remus Lupin was lying on the floor exhausted

"Plan Q, Jeez Sirius I hoped it would never come to this" Remus mutters gravely.

"TWINKY!" Remus shouts, and a moment later a small pop could be heard and standing next to Remus was a little house elf with twinkling eyes (A/N hence the name…). She was the Marauders favorite house elf as she loved to play jokes and help in setting up pranks by getting what the boys needed. But when I say the Marauders I can't count one. Sirius. James, Remus and Peter all found out in rather an embarrassing for Sirius but hilarious for the others event that Sirius had a big fear of house elves.

"Twinky, thank you for coming. I need help with something" Remus looked down on the house elf and smiled politely but had mischief in his eyes.

Twinky's eyes lit up and ears pricked up "Oh Master Lupin! It would be an honour! What is it you need?" Twinky asked enthusiastically.

Remus's smile widened into a big evil grin "Well see Sirius here" Pointing to the large lump in the bed next to them snoring away "he just won't get up because he's incredibly lazy! "Raising his voice slightly and saying it more to Sirius than to Twinky, sighing when he gets no response he turns back to Twinky "We are going to be late for class if he doesn't get up and so I was wondering if you could try please" Remus asked pulling an innocent face on.

"Of course Master Lupin Sir! Anything for you!" And with that Twinky went round to the side of the bed and climbed up on to the bed with Remus's help. Standing behind Twinky Remus watched with amusement when Twinky went up to Sirius's head, got very close and tapped him on the head hard whilst staring at his closed eyes. Sirius thinking this was just Remus again opened one eye to tell him to go away and leave him in peace.

"ARRRAAGGGHHHHHH!" Sirius screams, flinging his arms up to protect his face accidentally hitting the house elf on the way making Twinky fall back and hit the bedside table, booksfell on the floor and on Remus making him yelp out in pain and hop back, losing his balance and crash to thefloor hitting it rather painfully.

Sirius awake now, wide eyed and pale sits ups fast and looks around. Seeing Remus sitting on the floor wincing in pain he forgets what scared him in the first place and chuckles. Getting up to get ready he simply says "You know you could have just said please" and smirking he walks into the bathroom and closes the door leaving a very cheesed off Remus Lupin on the floor.

A/N: Alright I know I'm supposed to be updating my other stories and I promise they will be updated by tomorrow evening! I just had this idea nagging at me so I wanted to write it down. What do you think? PLEASE PLEASE R&R! Thanks!