Well it's too late for Valentines Day, but I didn't feel like waiting 'til next year to upload it. So it's a little late, so what? Not my best work but I loved it enough to put it up here. It kind of plays out like a stand-up comedy routine. The idea comes from a post on serebii's LuckyShipping thread, provided by MyCurrentObsession. The basic story starts with Red struggling to come up with a reasonable Valentines card for Blue(or Green in this fic. Because I felt like it) & when he finally does, Valentines Day takes it's role. But oh, is Red in for a surprise. Rated T for flirtatous banter & minor mostly censored language. This story serves as a constant reminder... That sh** happens.

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Be My Valentine

Red's P.O.V.

Well, Valentines Day. Is there anything to say about it? In general, I think you shouldn't pick just one day to love someone, but it is an excuse to let your heart, and if you're a teenager, I guess your hormones, run wild. This was no exception for Green and I. Like any couple, we went through Valentines in the traditional way. At first. This was our first Valentines as an "official" couple. I wanted to do something special for her; I just love her that much. But I had no idea what. I knew I wasn't going to think of anything, but luckily, well lucky in an ironic, twisted way, I didn't have to. Green took care of that for me.

Twelve thirty, Saturday, February fourteenth, I being one of three "creative writers" in my group of friends, the other two being Blue and Yellow, was asked by a lot of my friends to write Valentines cards for them. They usually couldn't do it themselves, saying "I'm too busy", "I have somewhere to be", or from the more honest ones "I'm just not as good at it as you are". If I had a nickel. Silver usually gets his from Yellow. Like he had for the past two years. Mainly for Gold, Crys, and Green. After she helped him out though (FRLG saga), he actually grew kinda fond of her. And why not? She's a nice girl. Well I didn't know he was at first, I'm not the kinda guy who notices or pays attention to those types of things. Stop mocking me! I am NOT clueless. I know a girl likes me when she rips my cloths off! Erm… I mean… Well that's a different story.

Anyway I only know this because Green told me. You can't even look at somebody without her reading your mind on every tiny little thing you're thinking. I really don't know how she sees it. But I guess Silver is a little more respectful towards Yellow now. I know she's on his list of friends at least. But because of that, he wants to give her something. Most of us feel store bought doesn't come from the heart. By asking me to do it you can at least say, "I want this, I want that, let 'em know this" the works. And you don't just tell a girl "write your own Valentine" unless you're trying to be funny. Or an asshole. I don't think Silver could pull that off, he's not a funny guy. Well, ya know unless he's doing his "spastic" routine.

So he asks me to write a Valentine for him to give to her. That makes sense. He's like a little brother to Green and I'm her boyfriend, I'll definitely write something he could use, and Green will make sure otherwise, right? Wrong. Boy is he in for a surprise when Yellow gets her Valentines. Heh heh, I'm so evil!... Don't look at me like that. Well that's what happens when you have a crush on my girlfriend, okay? I'm sure everything'll be fine, it was just for fun. Well it's not like it's gonna hurt their feelings or anything. Okay, you're starting to piss me off. (Who's he talking to? Why the reader of course. That means you, jackass.)

So yeah back to my other story, I had to make the best card in the world for her. Sarcasm. I can't just put "you're hot"… No, I did that for Christmas some years ago. Best Christmas ever. I don't know, what do girls expect on Valentines Day? I mean, once upon a time, for me it meant me, a nice girl, and a sheet of bubble wrap. I write like, a thousand poems for the woman, every assignment in my Creative Writing class and some in my English class is about her or has some reference to her, but I can't write a f****** Valentines card for her. Damn…

Well I'm sure you've all read about us feeding fries to each other (The Art of Belonging Together by MyCurrentObsession, check it out). I think we're gonna do the same later with candy hearts. She's been talkin' about it all week. I don't really like candy hearts but I'll make an exception, and maybe we'll go back to fries later. But man, what to do for her card? I wrote everything else in like, a minute, why can't I think of something. Come on. Damn writer's block. Think!...

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So later I handed her the card. She could probably tell I was nervous. She took it, I'm not positive but I'm pretty sure I was blushing. That's what it means when your face gets hot right?

She looked at me and said; "Relax Red, I'm not expecting much."

I guess she got used to it. Me writing deep things about her almost all the time but simple things on special occasions, you know like this one. The card was decently decorated, typical pink, her favorite color, and red, mine, or, ever since she started dating me, she says red is her other favorite color. It has hearts glued on it too. Well hey I didn't make it, I just wrote what's inside, Blue's the one who makes 'em and he doesn't really make 'em with anybody in mind.

Anyway, she opens it and it says something similar to her Christmas card. "You're still Hot" and at the bottom it says, "Yeah I know, it sucks. But its true" slightly below that it says "Happy Valentines Day-Red".

She giggled. Is that the right word? Giggled? Well anyway then she said; "That's funny."

"But it IS true." I said.

And she giggled, still assuming that's the right word.

"Funny AND sweet." She said, putting her arms around my neck. I could feel them resting on my shoulders, light as a feather.

And she kissed me. Of course I kissed her back you idiot. I love her, but at the same time I was surprised, I never got used to her random kisses. And I probably never will. She wears Cherry Chap Stick usually, but today she wore Strawberry Chap Stick. She does that because I prefer it. She does it to please me, why is she wearing it today? Is it just because it's Valentines Day? Or does she have something planned? I hope she does, because I got nothin'. I'm saving an all day date for her birthday.

Sweet she calls me. If only she knew, I learned most of my sweet-talking from Ruby. He's a guy, don't let the name fool you. But it fits him because once upon a time, we all thought he was gay. Imagine our surprise when he says, in a perfect girly-gay-guy tone;

"Hay guyz, this is my girlfriend, Sapphie."

I remember, I don't remember who it was. It might've been me, but it was probably Gold. But somebody said;

"NO! F***IN' WAY!... No, f***ing way! You're sh**ing me right? No way… Man gay-guys get all the chicks."

Like I said, it was probably Gold. But anyway; being the practical gay-guy that he was, he was good at sweet-talk. Cause you know how stereotypical gays or at least people who act that way are, it's like they ARE women. So I asked… Or more accurately I got down on my knees and begged him to teach me. He did on the condition that I write a poem for his girlfriend and let him take credit for it. It wasn't too hard; she's a lot like Green. Made it pretty easy.

So then he taught me, went on for a few months because I didn't really get it. But it was easier than I thought it'd be. We did have one problem though. Being the idiots that we were, we tried to practice. Yeah you know where this is goin'. Once, Gold walked in on us. He stood there for like, half a minute before we saw him. Talk about embarrassing. Later I tried to explain it to Gold. My biggest regret is that Gold can't keep a secret… Well that and the fact that I told Ruby he had soft lips… God, somebody cap me the head.

In the middle of that disturbing thought, Green interrupted me, uttering the words "You're getting sloppy."

She's kinda giggly, the way she says it. I would get sloppy. I mean that happened about a week ago. Gold hasn't actually told anyone yet but I know, I KNOW! It's only a matter of time. But I did my best, I get back into the kiss, my sole purpose right now, is to please her. Nice kiss, but I'm gonna skip ahead because there's only one word I can think of that can describe that kiss further, and I have no idea how ya spell it, so screw it. So we stopped, God I'm horrible at describing this stuff. Her face was still really close to mine.

"Strawberry. What's the occasion?" I asked, flirting with her.

"You'll find out." She said.

"Oh…" I sighed.

So she did have something planned. Good. You know, whenever she flirted with me before, I'd just go numb and act stupider than usual. Stop mocking me… She was always pretty. If there's one thing that makes me have ANY fondness for Silver, it's the outfit he got for her. She looks so pretty in it. It really compliments her hair. Before when she flirted with me, I got typical symptoms of liking someone. Blushing, stomach feels funny, wobbly knees, can't think of what to say. She always seemed to flirt with me. But she flirted with me once in that new outfit, new look, new… Well we ARE getting older, if you catch my drift. And I was all like "Duuuuuhhh*sticks out tongue like a retard*". And I'm also not ashamed to say I nearly wet myself. She flirted a second time, this time much closer to me. And I, true story, I got so star-struck and weak-kneed that I lost my balance, fell over and hit my head on a rail. She apologized, though it wasn't her fault. I told her how I felt not too much later. I love her. After that, and a trip to the doctor's office, I learned how to flirt back. It made everything easier.

"Come by my place nine." She said.

I just looked at her.

"My parents won't be home." She said.

"Ooh, kinky." I teased. I was only kidding of course.

She giggled again, and we kissed… Again.

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So around that time, I showed up at her house. I was still kind of expecting the candy hearts thing. Earlier she lightly licked one and then just… Put it in my mouth, fed it to me. That was fun. I rang the doorbell and heard her holler;

"Come in!"

So I assumed the door was unlocked and came in. I shut the door casually behind me. Looking back I wonder if I should've brought flowers.

"I'm upstairs." She said.

The stairs were in the corner of the living room. I walked up there, not expecting much. I walked past the door to her parents' room and the bathroom and stood directly outside her door. I knocked, to be polite, which she loves me for, among other things.

"Come in." She said.

I turned the knob and I saw her, sitting on the bed wearing a white nightshirt… And nothing else… That I could see at least. It had a T-shirt look to it. She flashed me that sexy smile that originally made my mouth go dry. The light shining from her lamp illuminated the shirt. I could see the outline of her figure in the form of a shadow… Thing… Before, my mouth would go dry. Now since I could practically see through her shirt, and see everything, but not quite… I got a nosebleed. After I stood and stared for eight and a half seconds, I got a nosebleed, AND I think I might've wet myself… I have nothing left of my dignity. I quickly covered my nose with my hands to try and stop the bleeding.

"Uh-uh, hey. W-w-what you d-do-do-doin'?" I asked.

And I couldn't believe what she said next. But she turned her head a little and showed me her cheek she said in sexiest and most seductive voice; "You."

The nosebleed got stronger, and I pinched my hands on my nose as hard as I could.

"W-what?" I responded.

"You're always so clueless Red." She said, "Consider this your final lesson on that, and your first on something entirely new."

My heart went nuts. It pounded so hard I felt like I was choking. I haven't felt like this since I fought Deoxys. My heart once again was trying to leap out of my mouth. Not to mention I was probably… Growing… I don't know, I was too numb to tell. I felt like I went six rounds with Jesus.

Then she looked at me normally, almost sympathetically and said; "Red, relax, I'm kidding."

…Aw man…

I nervously laughed; "Y-you don't say…"

What do you say in a situation like that? "Nice to f*** you. I mean see you."?

"I just wanted to tease you a little." She said while walking up closer to me.

"Huh… Tease, yeah… So were trying to give me a nosebleed or a heart attack?" I said subtly and/or sarcastically.

She was right next to me, I could get a good focus on her face and the bleeding stopped. It left a mess though.

"Red, Red, Red." She said wiping some of the blood off my face with a tissue.

Then she kissed me. One of her most passionate kisses yet, but my heart pounded so hard I thought it'd claw out of my chest. Then she hugged me, resting her chin on my shoulder, probably standing on her toes since I'm a head taller.

And then she whispered in my ear; "If I wanted to give you a heart attack, I wouldn't have bothered wearing a G-string."

You can guess what image THAT put into my head. But she didn't stop there.

"Matter of fact, I wouldn't've worn anything at all."

Before I could even comprehend that image, she went on.

"I would've just taken a hot, soapy shower and waited for you. Front parts barely covered by the dripping bubbles, and backside completely bare."

She pulled her head away and looked at me. Its official, she's trying to kill me. I felt stiff, and in more ways than one. My stomach felt all tingly. My mouth went dry, my vision faded slightly, I felt like was gonna throw up, in a good way. Long story short;

"I don't feel good." I mumbled and then, timbeeeeeeeerrr!!! I fell over and passed out. Usually, I fake that sorta thing, but this was different. Very different.

The last thing I heard her say was; "Gotta love 'im." Or at least that what I think she said. It might've been a dream.

I didn't know what the hell had just happened. I guess she just gets like this on Valentines Day. I guess that's all.

The End, but for how long?

Oh God wait! What about next year! And the year after that, we're gonna be eighteen. I am royally screwed. That came out wrong…

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Well... There's my usually failed attempt at comedy. This genre is harder than hell to write. But I managed to laugh. See ya next Valentines Day. Or February at least. Or if you read my other fics... Well w/e. Mcginnis awaaaaaaaaayyy!!! *flies away randomly*