The Best House Episode Evr! (Series finale) Script
Part 2: Wilson/House/Cuddy
Scene 1
(Huddy scene)
House: (in his head) Yes! Finally!
(Start theme song)
Scene 2
(End theme song)
Start: House on living room couch watching TV)
(Cuddy asleep in bed)
(Cuddy walks in wearing one of House's shirts
Cuddy: Hello.
House: Hi. You're late.
Cuddy: For what?
House: For work.
Cuddy: What time is it?
House: It's 10 o'clock.
Cuddy: Oh great! I'm gonna be late.
(Cuddy starts rushing to get ready)
(10 minutes later)
Cuddy: Ok, I'm ready. (pause) Wait a sec. Why aren't you dressed?
House: Because it's only 7. Why would I get ready now?
Cuddy: You're saying that you just made me rush to get ready only to realize there is still half an hour before leaving?
House: Yeah. Pretty much.
Cuddy: Anyway, we have to figure out a plan so the hospital doesn't know we're back together again.
House: Well, you could go to work on time and I could just stay home. Then no one will know.
Cuddy: (laughs) Nice try.
House: (mockingly) Darn! I thought it would work.
Cuddy: Although, I could go early. Then, you can come in a half hour late.
House: Fine with me.
Cuddy: Ok, then. How about some breakfast?
House: Sounds good to me.
(They make breakfast together and eat it)
Cuddy: (as walking out the door) Well, see you later.
House: (mockingly) Bye sweetie. See you later!
(Cuddy rolls eyes)
(Scene ends with Cuddy walking out the door)
Scene 3
(At PPTH, House is already there and has gone through differential diagnoses for patient)
(House leaves office)
(Heads to Wilson's)
(Walks in)
House: Hello, Wilson.
Wilson: Hi House.
House: (mockingly) Oh, you don't sound too happy.
Wilson: Well, yeah you see. There's this thing where-
House: I have something that will make you feel great!
Wilson: Let's just get this over with. What is it?
House: Cuddy and I slept together and I want to move in with her!
Wilson: Sounds great House, but I have to…. Wait, what? Does Cuddy know about this?
House: What? About the sleeping together or the moving in?
Wilson: Either one. Wait, you weren't hallucinating again were you?
House: No, I was not. Now, back to the moving in with her….She has no idea. (Jokingly) And don't you be the one to tell her.
(Long pause)
Wilson: Anyway, I have an even bigger problem. Sam wants us to elope in a week.
House: What? And you're surprised?
Wilson: Uh…yeah. Why wouldn't I be?
House: Uh. I don't know. (Voice gets louder right next to Wilson's ear) Maybe because you love each other. Also, I've known for months.
Wilson: Wait, seriously, how…wait a minute, don't answer that question. Back to loving, that's true. I mean, remember Chase and Cameron's wedding? Everyone was asking them about how it felt to be married again. I am kind of getting tired of that, too.
House: Well, good luck. I have to check on the results of the tests now.
Wilson: Thanks? I guess?
House: (yells as walking down hall) You're welcome!
(Wilson has confused look)
(Scene ends with him thinking about House, Cuddy, and Sam)
Scene 4
(Cuddy in office)
(House walks in)
House: Helllooooo, Lisa. Is it ok if I call you that now?
Cuddy: No, and how are you today House?
House: What do you think our relationship should be called? Huddy? Couse?
Cuddy: House, what are you talking about?
House: No, that would be a horrible. I mean it's just too long. (Pause) Do you mind if I call you Cuddles?
Cuddy: Fine, but only outside of this hospital.
(Pause)
Cuddy: Why, exactly did you come in here?
House: I need to cut our patients head open.
Cuddy: Uh…why?
House: For medical purposes.
Cuddy: All right, fine. Go run your test.
House: Wrong answer! And you just lost (really loudly) one million (quietly) bananas. This was a test to see if you would say yes to a procedure without a good reason just because we're dating.
Cuddy: Shut up! I'll see you later at my house.
House: See you then.
Cuddy: I'll see you then. Come around 10.
House: Ok…Cuddles (he says this really loud)
(Scene ends with House walking out of office smiling)
Scene 5
(Wilson on phone with patient)
(House walks in) (Hangs up phone)
House: I'm sleeping with Cuddy again tonight.
Wilson: Ok, great.
House: (seriously) I want to move in with her and tell people about our relationship.
Wilson: (seriously) Wow, House. It seems like you're taking this seriously.
House: That's my plan. (Switch to mockingly) (Pause) You're gonna tell her aren't you?
Wilson: Well of course I am. That is if you don't….tonight.
House: All right. Fine. I'll tell her tonight.
Wilson: Ok, good.
(Scene ends with House walking out with thinking face)
Scene 6
(That night in Cuddy's bed)
…
Cuddy: This is starting to feel normal.
House: Wow! (Pause, thinking about what Wilson said)
Cuddy: What?
House: Oh….nothing.
(They move to the living room couch)
Cuddy: No, it's something.
House: All right. (Sarcastically) I'm seeing a hooker.
Cuddy: That's not true. I know when you're lying. Come on, seriously, what's wrong?
House: (mockingly) Seriously, nothing.
Cuddy: All right. Then… do ya wanna go back to what we were doing?
House: Ok!
(Scene ends with them walking back to Cuddy's bedroom)
(You hear in the distance…
House: (seriously) I love you.
Cuddy: I love you too. (Scene end for real)
Scene 7
(Next day at PPTH)
(House walks into Wilson's office while he's with a patient)
Wilson: House, clearly I'm with a patient.
House: Don't care, he dying?
Wilson: Yes.
Patient: Wait, I am?
Wilson: Sorry, I was about to tell you, but then I got interrupted.
House: Still don't care. (To patient) I'm sorry. He's busy right now. He'll have to talk to you later. (Pushes patient away) Well, go on, out you go, bye! Have a nice day!
(He shuts door)
Wilson: What's this all about?
House: Something beginning with C and ending in uddles.
Wilson: What?
House: Oh, right. She only told me to call her that when we're at my apartment.
Wilson: Wait, this is about Cuddy?
House: (pause) I didn't tell her.
Wilson: House! You said you would!
House: What? You gonna tell her now?
(Wilson has a look on his face)
House: You are, aren't you?
Wilson: well, I said I would, didn't I?
House: Yes… ok, fine. You can tell her. Just wait until the end of the day. I can't see her tonight.
Wilson: All right.
(Scene ends with House and Wilson with expressions on faces)
Scene 8
(Cuddy trying to work clinic in order)
(Wilson walks up to her)
Wilson: Hey, you got a minute?
Cuddy: No, but what is it?
Wilson: It's about House.
Cuddy: What about him? (Gets concerned) Is he ok?
Wilson: yes, yes he's fine.
(Long pause)
Cuddy: Well…
Wilson: He um… he… he told me… he told me he uh (whispering) slept with you (small pause)
Cuddy: Your point being? I thought almost everyone know that?
Wilson: Well they did. (Pause) But there's more. (Pause) He…he told me…(more confidence, concerned-happy voice) He told me he wanted to move in with you.
Cuddy: (surprised) What! Seriously? I had no idea he was so committed.
Wilson: You know how House is. (Small pause) Wait, you already knew didn't you?
Cuddy: I've known for a while, but when did he tell you this?
Wilson: Yesterday, but I don't know how long he's been thinking that.
Cuddy: I still can't believe he still has those thoughts. I didn't know he was that committed.
Wilson: He also wants you guys to tell people about your relationship.
Cuddy: Ok, that I didn't know.
Wilson: Yes! Finally something that I knew first!
Cuddy: Huh?
Wilson: Never mind.
Cuddy: Anyway, wow, that's a lot really fast…He doesn't wanna get married does he?
Wilson: I don't think so. At least he hasn't told me that.
Cuddy: Good, because that would be moving waaayyyyy too fast for me.
Wilson: You do realize he actually wants this relationship right? It's now just another one of his games. He really likes you and probably loves you.
Cuddy: I know. He told me he loved me.
Wilson: Oh, so there, you see? He really loves you.
Cuddy: Are you sure about that?
Wilson: Yes.
Cuddy: Positive?
Wilson: Yes.
Cuddy: 100 percent?
Wilson: (yelling) Yes! I'm 100 percent sure he's truly in love with you!
(Wilson said this too loud and people start staring)
Cuddy: Ok, maybe I'll go home and talk to him tomorrow night.
Wilson: That would seem like a suitable choice.
(they smile at each other)
(Scene ends with them heading back to their work stations)
Scene 9
(That night…Wilson walks into apartment greeted by Sam)
(They hug)
Wilson: Hey.
Sam: Hey.
Wilson: How was your day?
Sam: You know the normal. Kids not wanting MRIs. Today was very normal. How 'bout you?
Wilson: Pretty normal. (Long awkward pause) House wants to move in with Cuddy.
Sam: Really?
Wilson: Yeah. I never thought-
Sam: (cuts him off) Wait! Why are we always talking about House?
Wilson: You're right. Let's strop. What do you say we have some time alone?
Sam: A GOOD time alone?
Wilson: Yes.
Sam: I'll see you in the bedroom in ten minutes.
Wilson: All right.
(Sam exits)
Wilson: Yes!
(Scene ends with Wilson running away happy to the bedroom)
Scene 10
(Wilson in office on phone)
House: My patient's still dying.
Wilson: What can I do about that?
House: I don't know. I was hoping you could tell the patient that she's dying considering that you're very compassionate.
Wilson: (pause) All right. I will.
(Long pause)
Wilson: So, you still planning on moving in with Cuddy?
House: Yes. Are you still planning on eloping with Sam?
Wilson: Well, I don't know. Before last night I didn't know, but now I'm 5,000 percent sure.
House: (thinking) 5000? That's not even possible.
Wilson: House, that's not the point!
House: No, yes it is. If it's over 100 percent (pausing thinking because he just solved the case) it's…impossible.
(He gets up and rushes out)
Wilson: (shouting) Where are you going?
House: (shouts back as walking away) To save a life!
(Scene ends with House walking away and Wilson says: "That's House. Yet another case solved…with...doctoooorrr…House!
Scene 11
(House and Cuddy in House's bed)
House: I saved another patient today.
Cuddy: Great.
House: How was your day?
Cuddy: Ok. Normal financial problems.
House: Why are we doing this?
Cuddy: Doing what?
House: Talking small talk.
Cuddy: You're right. We should stop.
House: We should.
(…)
Cuddy: Wait! Stop!
House: What?
Cuddy: Wilson told me something.
House: (mockingly) Which part the first or the second?
Cuddy: Both, but I already knew the first two, but he also told me about a third thing.
House: (half mocking, half serious) Damn! I told him not to tell!
House: So now you know.
Cuddy: Yeah. So is it true? You still want to move in with me and tell people about our relationship and live with me forever?
House: Yes. (Seriously) I really love you that much.
Cuddy: Ok then. You can start moving in tomorrow.
House: Great.
Cuddy: Now, should we go back to what we were doing?
House: Yes.
(…)
(Zoom in on House's phone. He didn't realize he forgot to hang up on Wilson.)
(Wilson smiles from other side of phone)
Wilson: He did it. He finally did it.
(He smiles at Sam and they go to their bedroom…)
(Episode ends with Huddy and camera zooms in with them holding hands)