Title: The Things He Knows
Summary: Finn knows Rachel better than she thinks he does and he knows he'll never compare to Jesse St. James. St. Berry, one sided Finchel. Drabble-y.
Disclaimer: No, I do not own Glee or any of its characters, OBVIOUSLY, because if I did Jesse St. James would be here forever and ever.
The Things He Knows
Finn knows Rachel better than she thinks he does. He especially knows how to read her face because, as creepy as it sounds, he's spent a lot of time looking at it. There's always been a spark between him and Rachel and he kind of likes her crazy. But he's also kind of terrified of her and her voice and everything about her because he knows that she is so much better than him. He knows that he doesn't deserve her and he knows how lucky he is to have her.
The part that sucks is that Finn knows that Rachel's already met her soulmate. The guy who can match her vocally and intellectually, who, he has to admit, is a good looking dude, and who makes her smile like he's never seen her. Because Finn spent most of his time looking at Rachel when he lost her to Jesse St. James. Just because he wanted some stupid date with two (hot) cheerleaders. Finn had let the idea of popularity get to him, because no matter how smart or beautiful or talented Rachel was, she definitely was not popular.
He should've known better. He really didn't think that Rachel would ever find someone else, because, sure, she was hot, but she was also one of the most annoying people he'd ever met, and Finn didn't think that there was anyone else in the world who could possible take it. Of course, he was wrong and she managed to find the one person in the world who was just as annoying and dramatic as she was.
Finn did not and does not like Jesse St. James. He's obnoxious and talks in the same ridiculous way that Rachel does. He's probably the best male vocalist that Finn has ever heard and part of the reason that he declined to go into a "sing-off" with Jesse is because he knows he'd lose. Because yeah, Finn can jam out to The Doors and R.E.M. but so can Jesse, and Jesse can do it better. Jesse St. James is also surprisingly charming for such an asshole. Even though the Glee Clubbers never fully accepted him or trusted him, the rest of McKinley high was obsessed with him (Jesse even scored higher than Finn did on the Glist). And most of all, he hated Jesse St. James because he was so perfect for Rachel.
When Jesse transferred to McKinley he spent nearly all his time with Rachel and since Finn spent all his time looking at Rachel, he had to look at Jesse too. And he can't forget the way they held each other, the way they looked like the fit perfectly together (Finn was always a little too tall to hold her the same way Jesse did). Sometimes just walking down the hall he could hear the two of them going at it (musically), singing some of the duets that Rachel had always begged Finn to sing with her. He can't forget their intimacy, because it's not like they made out in public all the time but he could still tell. Sometimes Jesse would put his hand a little too low on Rachel's back (Finn could never get away with this) and all she would do was blush prettily at him. And Finn shouldn't be jealous, he got to have sex with one of the hottest girls in school (even though he didn't feel anything and he was thinking of Rachel the entire time).
Rachel and Jesse were perfect together until they weren't and Finn finally had his chance. With Jesse on spring break with Vocal Adrenaline, still pissed off at Rachel for the video, Finn tries to pull a Jesse and win Rachel back through music (Jesse's Girl is all too appropriate). But it really really does not work (he can't forget how uncomfortable she looks when he sings to her) and before he knows it, Rachel and Jesse are Rachel and Jesse again.
But Finn is lucky. Even though Rachal and Jesse are Rachel and Jesse and they're perfect and he's perfect, Jesse St. James manages to fuck it all up. And while Finn is so furiously angry at Jesse for trying to "funkify" them and for throwing eggs at Rachel (he doesn't really get why she's so mad but all that matters is that she's mad), he's also so ridiculously happy that he finally beat Jesse (Kind of. At least Finn had never egged Rachel). And he tells Rachel that he loves her and they're together and it's perfect. Rachel and Finn are Rachel and Finn and he is happy (Rachel and Finn never did quite have the same ring as Rachel and Jesse).
Except it kind of sucks. Because, even though Rachel is pretty happy about having a popular jock boyfriend who she'd liked since the beginning of sophomore year, he knows she thinks about him. She never talks about him (nobody does) but there are times when she slips up. She flinches whenever she hears the words "Vocal Adrenaline" or "California", or, god forbid, the song "Hello", and when she blathers on and on about musicals sometimes she stops herself in the middle of a sentence. He knows it's because she was almost about to mention something about Jesse.
Finn knows he will never be good enough for her becaues Rachel Berry is more than he deserves. He loves her so much and he's just happy that they're together. So he tries to forget that she's probably comparing him to Jesse with everything he does. He tries to forget that he hasn't seen her smile for him the way she used to smile for Jesse. All Finn wants to do is forget about Jesse St. James and focus on Rachel Berry, because he knows that one day he will deserve her and she won't regret being with him.
In the meantime he'll just have to forget that Rachel Berry hasn't said "I love you" to him and he'll have to forget just who her last "I love you" was for.
A/N: St. Berry is life. I wanted to write this in Finn's perspective because I couldn't bring myself to try and write from the perspective of Jesse and Rachel because I don't want to mischaracterize them. But I don't like Finn that much so it's ok ;) Haha, jokes, but I just wanted to express how great the love between Rachel and Jesse. Honestly a story from Finn's perspective is not that original and I've seen it done before but I could not get it out of my head and I absolutely had to write it.
Thanks for the read and please review~