Forever
It was my wedding day and I was finally at peace with the idea. Alice was a bundle of joy
as she prepared me to walk down in isle, in my elegant, designer gown. Jasper was at her side, doing her bidding and Emmet was standing in the back making faces at me. He would stop for no one but Rosalie, though only because he was afraid of her scorn. I laughed at them as Alice adjusted my hair.
"You're so calm," Jasper exclaimed in surprise.
"Yeah," agreed Emmet, "I was expecting us to be at the hospital by now."
"Thank you Emmet," I scowled.
"No problem," he said, grinning.
"It's actually Edward who we need to be worried about," Jasper continued. "I don't remember him ever being this nervous. He's already broken a vase."
"Are you sure he didn't do it on purpose?" I asked, knowing my future husband's love for breaking furniture.
All the Cullens burst out laughing, expect for Emmet of course.
"It was a wide screen tv," he complained. "We had just got it in from Korea!"
"I'm just glad those days are over," I admitted.
"So am I," agreed Jasper and we smiled at each other. Very soon we would be able to shake hands without tension, maybe even hug like true siblings. For that is what I was about to become, another Cullen sibling. And I cherished that knowledge. I was lucky enough to snag Edward— but I was getting so much more in the end. My smiled ventured towards Rosalie, and she smiled back at me— her features the pinnacle of sincerity; even we loved each other now.
"Honey," wined Alice suddenly. "Don't just stand there. Do something useful!"
"Like what?" asked Jasper, looking almost flabbergasted. It was an unusual expression for his peaceful face— the things weddings did to people, and even Vampires.
Alice continued to glare.
"Seriously honey, I don't know what I'm doing!"
Alice rolled her eyes. "That's it. Out! Go find Edward and tell him not to go outside for that stroll like he is planning. The sun is going to come out for a few seconds."
"I'll go too," said Emmet. "So the girls can have their girl time."
"See you in a few," I waved to my future brother in laws.
Emmet paused at the door. "Just don't trip down the isle, Bella."
"I just might— to bring down the Cullen name a few pegs," I teased.
"It couldn't hurt," agreed Rosalie.
Emmet laughed. "Later Ladies."
And they were gone. And I thought it was funny that I wasn't nervous and that poor Edward was. My heart went out to him. But I knew it would probably hit me once I started walking up the isle. I really didn't plan on falling down on the way.
Suddenly there was a knock on the changing room door. A moment later Jacob Black walked in, looking beautiful in a tux. He smiled at me but Alice and Rosalie turned their noises away in disgust.
"Can we have a minute?" I asked them, apologetically.
"Sure thing," said Alice cheerfully and she grabbed Rosalie's hand and danced out of the room. The door closed behind them.
"I'm glad you decided to come, Jacob Black," I said smiling.
"Yeah, well I figured it was the least I could do for Billy's and Charlie's sake."
I rolled my eyes. "Of course."
We looked at each other for a moment. And I realized I had never appreciated just how soft his eyes could be when he looked at me.
"Well," he said at last, "I guess this is it. Last chance to chose me." He flashed me a winning smile and I knew it was just a joke, but behind it all he was still sincere.
But I laughed though, for it had never really been about making a choice. That power had always been beyond me. Maybe that is why I was not nervous now, because I knew this was right. I knew this was inevitable.
"You look beautiful, Bella," he almost whispered. Tears appeared in his dark eyes, though he kept his distance.
"Jacob..."
"I know, I know," he soothed. "You don't have to say anything at all. I know."
"If it makes any difference— I'll always regret this day, just a little bit."
He smiled. "You know, I think I will too." We both burst out laughing then, and for a moment it was like we were back at La Push, just me and him, down by the water, without a care in the world. I would always miss those days, they had been too few in number. But, nothing gold can stay, I reflected. Not Edward's eyes, nor my days in the sun, with my Jacob.
We were interrupted then by a soft knock on the door and Alice poked her pixie like face in the room.
"It's time," she informed me.
But I looked closely at Jacob, one last time and I knew my expression had to be wistful. "Goodbye my sunshine," I whispered and then I left.
As I walked up the isle Edward's smile dazzled me like it always did. He looked so astounding, standing like a perfect stature, though his golden moved, following my every step. It could have been love, or it could have been he was afraid I was going to trip— probably it was both. It made me feel precious and loved and lucky because I would feel both of these things forever.
Forever. Not only had I found the perfect guy, but I had found forever too. But forever was nothing without Edward.
When I reached Edward it was surprisingly easy just to concentrate on him, even though my parents were both crying in the front row, even though Emmet was grinning like a five year old and even though Jacob, though he tried to hide it, looked heartbroken. My poor Jacob.
Yet all of these factors magically disappeared when I looked into the shining gold orbs before me.
"Forever," he mouthed to me.
"Alright," said Emmet, "let's get this show on the road! Does anyone think that Edward shouldn't marry my new sister in law?" His tone was light-hearted, but I could hear the threat behind it and I laughed to myself.
I looked to the crowed, I looked to Jacob, thinking that if anyone had any objections it would be him. But he just winked at me, smiling through his heart break.
"Excellent," said Emmet, slapping his hands together. "Now for the gushy part, the vows. And try to keep it short Edward."
Edward scowled at his favorite brother but then he turned to me all smiles. I smiled back, I couldn't stop smiling and already my face was starting to hurt.
"Isabella," he said, using my whole name and making me melt inside. "Isabella I promise to love you, forever. We were made for each other, there is no doubt about that, and there never was. I can't wait to spend everyday with you, for you are perfect to me. And I never want to be without you. There. Is that short enough, Emmet?"
Emmet grinned. "I am very proud of you my bother." And then he turned to me.
And I felt just a tiny bit nervous now. But I had memorized these lines
"Edward. Before you there was only twilight. I could see neither the day or the night clearly. And then you came and you should me the majesty of the moon and the beauty of the sun. And when you left you took everything with you, and I was in twilight again. But that didn't last long, for the sun returned because the sun always comes again. Even after an Eclipse." But that was not how I had planned my words to go and I felt confused. But I continued on before he could notice that anything was wrong. "I will love you always, forever."
Edward beamed at me. He looked so happy that I was sure he might burst with it.
"Edward Cullen," Emmet began. "Do you take Isabella Swan to be your lawful wedded wife, forever?"
Edward glared at him, probably because Emmet had decided to leave out until death do you part and put forever in there instead. But I personally agreed with Emmet. This was our wedding, it might as well be fitting.
"I do," said Edward, proudly.
"And Isabella Sawn. Do you take Edward Cullen to be your lawful wedded husband, forever?"
I grinned at Emmet before turning to Edward. "I do."
"Then by the power invested in me, you may now kiss the bride."
We looked at each other, my heart fluttered as it never had before and Edwards eyes smoldered like fire. But I was shocked to discover that I couldn't move— the nerves had probably found their way to me. Yet this didn't phase Edward in the least, he smiled knowingly and leaned in towards me.
It was the sweetest kiss he had ever given me.
At dinner Carlisle stood up and gave a short, but endearingly sweet speech.
"I just wanted to say," he began, looking in my direction and I knew that if he had still been human, there would have been tears in his eyes. "I just wanted to say that my son could not be marrying a better girl... in all of this world. We are immensely glad he has found her and we will treasure her as if she was our own daughter... forever."
And because I was still human I did cry and Esme ran to my side, flinging her arms around me.
At the reception Jacob politely asked Edward if he could steal me for one dance. Edward agreed willingly enough, but I still promised him I would take a shower before we really started our first night together. Edward looked very relieved.
Jacob grinned at me once we were on the dance floor.
"What?" I demanded.
"Nice vows," was all he said.
"What do you mean, Jake?" I asked the question more harshly then I had intended and this only seemed to please him more.
And then Jacob said one more thing before walking away. "For the sun returned because the sun always comes again. Even after an Eclipse."
I started after him, bewildered. I wondered where that had come from. And then with startling realization I realized that he had just quoted me. I had said that during my vows— to Edward. But Jacob was my sun and Edward was my Eclipse.
Next to me Emmet and Rosalie suddenly appeared, gliding across the dance floor like experts.
"I wondered when he was going to get too upset to be here," Emmet told me. But Rosalie smacked her husband on the side of the head.
"She's friends with the werewolf, Emmy. You really should take care in remembering that."
"Right," said Emmet looking ashamed. "Sorry B."
"No problem," I told him, hardly paying attention. I was still staring after Jacob, as he walked away... from me. And the little voice that was my heart, or my conscience told me this: Jacob wasn't supposed to walk away from me.
There was something different in Edward's eyes that night. Something I had only caught a glimpse of before... that one time he had confessed how much he wanted me. He held me closer than he ever hand, carrying me to the bed and laying me down, before laying on top of me. Expect this time he never got off and I liked that just fine. And he was a lot gentler than even he believed he could be.
"I love you Mrs. Cullen," he whispered in my ear before I went to sleep for the last time.
"I love you too, Edward."
I woke up the next morning, on the day of my death, feeling complete. It was clear that Edward had never left my side.
"Good morning, Mrs. Cullen," he told me, before kissing my forehead.
"Good morning, Mr. Cullen," I replied. "I could get used to this."
He grinned at that. "Did you want to have one last breakfast before..."
I sighed. "No... I'm ready for this now. Let's start forever, now."
I felt a sudden rush of excitement.
"Then lie back down, sweetheart," said Edward hovering over me. "I wish this didn't have to hurt you so much."
"Three days," I reminded him.
"Are you ready?" he asked me anyway.
"Yes, Edward."
He kissed me one last time on the lips. "Lie very still."
And he leaned in, towards my neck and at first I only felt his lips on my skin. He seemed to be hesitating— but just before I was about to say something I felt a sharp pinch, and the pain intensified as his teeth sunk further into my skin.
But the pain brought his face to my mind with horrifying urgency. His tears, his dark eyes, his long hair. My Jacob.
I screamed.
And in the next moment I woke with a start and Edward was at my side, looking worried. The room was still dark and I knew that the day of my death had not yet come.
"Are you alright?" Edward asked me, concern evident in his tone.
"I'm fine," I lied and I placed a hand on my neck.
There were no cuts, no blood. I was still human. I let out a deep sigh.
"What's wrong?" Edward demanded now.
"Nothing Edward. I told you, I'm fine."
"Then why are you shaking?" I hadn't realized I had been.
"I'm cold." And he bought that, it did make sense after all. "Actually Edward. I want to be alone for a bit... you know before it happens."
I watched as his eyebrows bend together in disapproval. And then his expression changed— at first I saw his eyes widen, though he recovered quickly. And if possible he looked even more pale. "I understand, Bella," he said slowly. And the words seemed to cause him pain to say. "Take all the time you need."
"Thank you."
And I leaned in to kiss him one last time before leaving, but I made the kiss last. I wanted to remember this kiss, though I couldn't understand why. We would have so many kisses in our forever.
When I pulled back there was an unfathomable expression in his golden eyes.
"Goodbye, Isabella," he told me.
I rolled my eyes. "I'll be back before you know it."
Walking though Forks in the middle of night was like a surreal dream. Soon I knew I would become the night and so I embraced it and walked for hours. At first I didn't pay attention to where I was headed but after a few hours I realized I was almost at La Push. This knowledge surprised me. To think that I should come here of all places on my wedding night.
But it was at that moment that I remembered my last dream. And all I had seen was Jacob's face. And I was suddenly overcome with the desire to see Jacob. Besides, I was cold and I knew he could easily warm me up.
I walked all the way to his house and banged on his front door, ignoring the late hour. What I was doing was completely absurd, but I didn't care. And I knew that Jacob wouldn't either— in some ways we were both the same inside.
Seconds later a light was turned on and I heard him walking to the door. When he opened it he was surprised, yet delight to see me.
"Bella? What the hell are you doing here?"
"I was cold," I explained, "and I thought I'd come here so you could warm me up."
His arms were around me at once and he dragged me inside.
"Christ, your so cold," he told me, holding me closer and I melted into him, letting out a deep sigh I hadn't realized I was holding in.
"But I feel better now," I said.
"Come in," he said, leading me to the living room. And we sat down on the couch together. He kept me in his arms the entire time.
"Bella, what are you doing here?" he asked me again. "Why aren't you with Edward?"
And then I did something that surprised even me, for I had not seen it coming. I burst into tears and told him every tiny detail of my dream. He just sat there with wide eyes as he took it all in.
"I never meant to tell you that," I said once I was finished. "I never meant to tell anyone."
"I'm glad you did though," said Jacob and he too had tears in his eyes now. I wiped them away and his eyes closed at my touch. And it felt right being with him.
"I have a confession to make," Jacob said at last.
But then I realized that I had one to make too and I started crying again.
"What's wrong honey?" he asked me sweetly.
"I think that it was more than just a dream, Jacob. I think if I went through with it, it would become a reality. And you're face would be all I would see as I died. And I know I can stand three days of pain, Jacob... but I also know that I can't bear three days of seeing you cry. I can't do that— not even for Edward."
"But if you've chosen him, you must," said Jacob sadly.
"I know," I sobbed. "But I can't. I just can't."
Jacob pulled me closer for another hug. And he was so warm and comfortable that I didn't want to move. I was fine just where I was.
I was fine just where I was? Even without Edward? I stopped crying to ponder this.
"Bella?" Jacob asked me, pulling back to look in my face.
"I think I know why I'm here," I said with sudden realization.
Something soft sparkled at me from within the depths of his dark eyes. "Oh?"
"It makes sense now, that slip up in my vows. Because didn't you tell me once that you couldn't fight an eclipse?"
He nodded once. "I did."
And I smiled before I responded as a new joy filled inside of me. "Well, I think that you can."
His reaction was worth it alone. He buried his face in his hands. "Oh my God," I heard him say, though is voice was muffled. And I pulled him close to me.
"You will always be my Jacob," I told him. "And that can never change. So..." I could hardly believe what I was about to say. Even ten minutes ago I had never imagined that I would. "I pick you, Jacob. I pick you."
He looked at me then and his eyes were incredibly soft and serene now. "Well that is a relief, Bella. Because apparently I imprinted on you when I was a baby."
I gasped. "You what?"
"Yeah. I know. It's all new to me to. But it makes a hell of a lot of sense now."
"How the hell did you figure it out?" I demanded.
"It's kind of complicated. Wolf instincts is the best way to put it, I guess. And trust me, this is just something you know. You are the only girl for me. Always have been. I remember that day I fist saw you again— it was as if the world stopped. It was as if I was blind, with only one exception. You."
"Wow," I said. I was stunned.
"But what about Edward? You're married to him now."
"What is marriage?" I laughed. "At least I'm still alive."
"You're right," said Jacob, suddenly grinning like mad. And he laughed joyfully. "You stayed alive for me."
I felt a wave of warmth wash though me as I realized what he said was true. I smiled at him. "Yes, I did."
"But this is still going to be interesting... getting this all sorted out I mean."
And then I thought of the last thing Edward told me. Goodbye, Isabella. And I realized at once Alice must have saw me disappear. And Edward would have seen it the moment she did. And we both knew how found he was of clean breaks.
"Bella?"
And I turned to Jacob and smiled. "Well the thing is Jake, just before I left Edward tonight, he told me to take all the time I need. And so I've just decided to take forever."