Author's Note: Well, another Naruto fanfiction from me! I'm really very sorry for those who liked my Card Captor Sakura / Naruto crossover fanfiction, Longing, because, well, it is currently on hiatus. I don't seem to be satisfied with how it was written. Ah, for those who are asking what to expect from this fanfiction, so far I have no idea how this will end or who will be paired with who. I did aim for this to be a Kakashi X Sakura fanfiction, but sometimes stories take a life of its own. In addition, this would be a rather dark fanfiction. Sakura will be... rather... sadistic/masochistic/dark in general in this fanfiction so please don't say I didn't warn you. In any case, I hope you readers would enjoy this anyway. Without further ado, here is the first chapter of Killing the Light.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the Naruto cast. I do own Midori though as well as the plot.

Chapter One: Maybe It Was Her Way

By: Crescent Matrix

Maybe it was the way the clouds covered the sun that morning, or the way the cold cuddled her back to her covers, or even the way her alarm clock was ringing so loudly with her ear nowhere near it. Well in any case, Haruno Sakura seriously did not feel like getting up that morning. A hand shot from out of the pristine white sheets towards the alarm clock, silencing it for the nth and final time during that morning successfully. Groggily, her head shot up and Sakura rubbed her eyes sleepily. She felt really tired and dragged herself out of the room and down the stairs to the warmth of the kotatsu.

"Well, good morning, honey. You woke up rather late in the morning today. You didn't get yourself sick now, did you, honey?" Haruno Midori asked her daughter. Sakura looked at her mother with half-closed eyes, and then continued on to eat.

"No mom, I'm not sick. It's just... really cold... the weather just feels too good for sleeping in." she said between sloppy bites. Her mom smiled at her and took a sip of her morning tea.

"As much as you love the morning air, honey, you are going to be late for your daily team training." Midori smiled at her daughter again, seeing Sakura with her eyes suddenly widening and her arms waving frantically. Sakura, hearing her mother's words, shoved her breakfast in her mouth and rushed up the stairs leading to her room. Fifteen minutes later, she went down clad in her usual short sleeveless red dress and green shorts. Fixing her blue ninja sandals, she gave her mom a quick kiss and goodbye, and then left rushing out of the house, her wet hair trailing behind her in the air.

Going past the bridge where Team 7 had met for the past three months ten minutes later, Sakura could already hear the clashing of kunai and shuriken from where she was. And then, out of nowhere, a kunai came towards her and she jumped back quickly to evade it.

"Wah! Sorry, Sakura-chan! Me and the teme didn't see you there!" The blonde boy jumped down from a tree to Sakura-chan. Sakura's other teammate, Sasuke, went towards her and picked up the stray kunai. Inside, her heart fluttered at Sasuke's approach.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun, Naruto! Eh? Is Kakashi-sensei not here yet?" Sakura looked behind Naruto and Sasuke and found no one. Sure, Team Seven decided to come two hours after their scheduled training time due to an always tardy Copy Nin, but the said Copy Nin manages to be a tad bit later than usual anyway.

"Well hello, Sakura-chan! It really hurts me to see that you haven't noticed me. That and you managed to break my record of being late! Now, what do you have to say for yourself, Sakura-chan?" a voice spoke behind her. Sakura turned around to see Kakashi dramatically clutching his vest where his heart was. She could tell he was smiling as if mocking her. The wind blew, and her only in her sleeveless dress, involuntarily shivered.

"Sorry, sensei. I woke up late." she muttered, her head bowed down. 'Don't embarrass me in front of Sasuke-kun, you mean teacher you.' With a sound that was a whisper, she mumbled to herself accompanied with the rolling of her eyes, "That and you suck in acting." Unfortunately for her, Kakashi was a skilled ninja, and was one who loved to see his students squirm. True as Sakura thought, Kakashi was one 'mean' ninja to boot with his lazy, perverted, and just outright weird mannerisms.

"What was that, Sakura-chan? That wasn't very nice. And now, you must face the consequences! Doesn't that sound like fun, Sakura-chan? We'll be sparring together! Sasuke, Naruto, get back to your sparring session. Remember, taijutsu training for today. Come on, Sakura-chan!" Walking with his sloppy gait, Sakura followed him with a sigh. Naruto and Sasuke stared at the two walk away to another bare space.

"Well, teme, sensei's acting weird again."

"Hn." Naruto translated this to an 'Isn't he always?' as he had spent a lot of time with the other boy. Naruto looked off to the trees where Sakura and Kakashi walked to.

"Ne, think it's gonna rain today?" Naruto asked as he took his stance.

"Hn?" Sasuke raised a brow. "Making it your excuse when you lose to me, dobe?" The Uchiha smirked. At Sasuke's insult, Naruto flustered and threw a kunai straight at Sasuke.

"Shut up, teme!" And with that, the two became blurs, the dust leaving a trail behind them joining the clash of metal against metal.

Sakura looked up at her sensei with a random curiosity. Well, it's not like he revealed too much about himself other than being lazy, late, and perverted. But then again, Kakashi showed a different part of him during that mission in Wave. Sakura knew he was strong, and she couldn't help but compare their strengths. Sure he was a jounin and all, but Sasuke and Naruto had done a whole lot better than her. They were beaten up after the battle while she stood uninjured. What had she done in Wave? She stood, she cried, she stayed back, and she hated it. She looked down to the ground, mesmerized by her animosity towards her weaknesses and what-ifs, and bumped the slightly cushiony feel of his vest.

"Sakura?" Her name. She looked up to Kakashi, pulled from her thoughts, and blinked at him in confusion.

"A-ah! Sorry, sensei! Are we starting now?" His lone eye pierces through her. Maybe it was because he was fourteen years older than her, or the way he changes his mood easily, or maybe even the way he holds himself, hiding his most of his face in a mask. Well in any case, Sakura couldn't help but feel, well, helpless, intimidated, looked down at, and whatnot. 'Maybe sensei finally realized that... I'm useless... I don't want to be... God knows I don't want to be...' A slight flush of fear and embarrassment colored her pale cheeks and a faint wind gave her goose bumps at the back of her neck. She stared at her silent teacher. "S-sensei? Taijutsu only, right?" Seeing her sensei nod once, she eyed her sensei warily and took her stance.

In a split second, Sakura found herself on the ground staring at the grey clouds forming, covering the light of sun. 'Woah!' Sakura closed and open her eyes slowly, feeling a bit dizzy. She heard her teacher sigh.

"Sakura, you're too tense. I know that it's cold and all, but it's not an excuse to be inattentive to your surroundings, most especially to your opponent." She knew he was serious in training her with the tone he used and the use of her name without the addition of a suffix. She couldn't blame him that he was disappointed even if it was his job to make her a better shinobi. She couldn't blame him that he couldn't teach her the way it was suited for her. She couldn't blame him that she was weak. Tears began to form in her eyes but she took a deep breath and the tears went away.

'What's wrong with me? I'm not usually this melancholic...' Sighing, she wove a hand through her pastel-colored hair. "Sorry, sensei..." she muttered yet again.

Kakashi didn't know what was wrong with the girl. She was rather lethargic today. 'The incoming rain does this to people, I suppose.' he thought. The masked jounin held out a hand to his only female student. Sakura looked up at him and reluctantly took his hand. As soon as she stood up next to Kakashi, a roar of thunder was heard and lightning struck a tree down a few meters away from the two. Sakura froze as she was blinded by the light.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura could only watch her teacher being ripped into shreds

"Naruto!" She could only watch as a sword dragged itself down on his flesh, effectively cutting him in half.

"Sasuke-kun!" She could only watch as a mass of kunai and shuriken pierced his skin.

She could only watch. That was the only thing she could do. She couldn't help, couldn't reach out to them, she couldn't save them.

Useless. She was useless.

"Sakura-chan, I can't protect you always, you know? It's hard on me, too..."

'Naruto...'

Good for nothing.

"You're being incompetent. How do you expect to be a good ninja when you're too busy watching Sasuke's back? You have other teammates, Sakura."

'Kakashi-sensei...'

Waste of time.

"You're weak. You're only going to drag me down."

'Sasuke...'

Why am I even here? What use am I if I'm just in everyone's way?

The veracity of her life, her purpose, herself, hit her hard. Who was she to complain and make demands when she had given nothing, sacrificed nothing, and yet only gained pain with her want?

I... don't want to be... me...

"Sakura-chan! Kakashi-sensei! Are you alright?! The lightning struck around your area!" Looking frantic, Naruto jumped down from a nearby tree, Sasuke following his lead. Kakashi, who was unable to cover his eyes when the lightning struck, could see some black spots in his lone vision. Rain was still pouring from the heavens. Another strong wind blew over the threesome when they realized that Sakura was no longer there. "O-oi! Don't tell me Sakura-chan was vaporized by the lightning!" Naruto's eyes scanned the area with worried eyes and his sight settled on a mound of black ash. "Noooooo! Sakura-chan!!!" He rushed off to it and went down on his knees. "Oh, Sakura-chan! Oh, she was so young!" He hovered over the mound, some of the black ash staining his orange attire as well as his face. Suddenly, he was off of it, shouting. "Ouch! Ouch! Ow! So hot! Damn it!"

"Dobe." Sasuke approached Naruto and hit him on the head.

"What the hell?! What was that for?!" he demanded, nursing the large bump on his head.

"That's not Sakura." It wasn't Sasuke who answered him.

She ran. She wanted to get away so badly, away from everything. Regret flowed into her thoughts. If only she trained harder. If only she was better. If only. If only. 'Nothing can change that I'm useless now...' She bit her lip at the thought and continued to run with tears streaming from her eyes, but it wasn't that obvious as the chilly rain fell on her skin. She stopped in front of the gates of her home, her eyes weary and conscious of her state of mood. But something was wrong. The gate was wide open, muddy footprints passed on the yard leading to the house steps, and the door to the house was open. Sakura rushed inside in alarm, warily scanning the living room.

Blood coated the walls crimson still making its trail down the white-carpeted floor. Sakura saw the flesh of her mother's soul strewn across the floor, a large hole in her torso. Sakura looked at her mother's face, tears coming to rush down yet again. On her knees, she hovered over her mother's sad, teary face.

"Mom..." Sakura gently shook her mother's arm. "Wake up... I'm home, mom... Mom... I need you... don't leave me... don't leave me please... mom...? Mom? MOTHER!!" she cried out in desolation at the solitude that had hit her reality. 'Mother was the only one who listened... the only one who understood... the only one who was by my side... how can I be so... Mother, you were the only one...' She fell on her mother in tears, anguish and pain loomed over her like a shadow. Her vision blurred into nothingness.

"You came too late, Sakura honey..." A warm hand cupped her wet cheek. Sakura knew whose hand, whose warmth it belongs to.

'Mother...'

"I'm sorry, honey, you couldn't save me..."

Too late.

'I was too late... maybe if I had come sooner...'

No.

'No... even if I got here on time... I can't do anything...'

Weak.

'I'm weak...'

Useless.

'I'm no good. No good at all...'

"It's not your fault, my daughter."

'But it is...' Her eyes widened as her lips trembled. Her head started to hurt.

Could've been better.

Could've been stronger.

Could've helped you.

Could've saved you.

'But I couldn't...'

"No, honey, it's not your fault. You didn't know. You couldn't have known."

She didn't. That small whisper in the back of her mind was ignored.

"Don't follow me... please don't... please tell me you won't, Sakura..." Her mother's ghostly emerald eyes looked into her deeply and worriedly as if trying to push her back into the world. Something, somewhere inside of her, just snapped.

Yes, maybe that's what she would do.

The only thing she could do.

The only thing left for her to do.

The only thing left.

Her mother was still there, her mouth open, screaming, shouting, her eyes in tears. But her words were fading into silence. Sakura could hear nothing.

Sakura, with a shivering hand, slowly moved into her kunai pouch, taking a shiny short blade. She stared at it in awe. The grey kunai was glinting under the living room light. It was so beautiful, a beautiful escape. It just seemed so... exciting to stare at it. Both hands shaking, Sakura positioned the tip of the wonderful kunai where her heart was.

'Wait for me, mother...'

With her last sweet thought, she plunged.

Sweet pain erupted from her chest as she fell to the floor beside her beloved mother. She stared, entranced by something illusionary at the ceiling. It was calling out to her. Her hand reached out and she waited for it to take over her. She was smiling when she closed her eyes, and her hand grew limp.

Maybe it was the way her mother was the only one who managed to stay by her side, or the way death seemed like an escape from the enormity of the self-hatred she was feeling, or even the way misery loved her company to death. Well in any case, Haruno Sakura finally smiled for the last time.

Author's Note: The chapter finishes here. This is the longest chapter I managed to right so I feel fulfilled somehow. Feel free to give productive criticisms, cheers, or, well, just reviews. Er, and excuse me for my amateurity (amateurishness). I could never get used to writing no matter how many times I try. Suggestions are welcome as well, but please, let them remain as suggestions I could choose from instead of demands.