"Hello, Pettigrew," he purred at me. "So lovely to see you."

"I – I wish I could return the sentiment, my Lord, b-but I c-can't see you right now," I giggled nervously. Damn. Humor. He hates humor, what are you doing, are you trying to get yourself killed? I wrung my hands nervously.

"As you shouldn't," said that voice. I felt myself shiver. "Now. You had a piece of … information… for me, I believe?"

I took a deep breath. Remember what Dumbledore taught you, I thought, and with as much strength as I could I threw up a mental shield. Hopefully the Dark Lord wouldn't break thru too easily. "Yes, My Lord, but it depends upon a plan that you have not revealed to me yet," I said carefully.

Slithering. Oh, damn – that snake – I felt my hands shake. Nagini could always get thru straight to the core of me, shake me up even more than the Dark Lord did. Her ugly square head came out from the darkness and all twenty feet of her started to circle me. Her tail hit my shin; I cowered.

"I see. Surely, Pettigrew, you are not trying to… ah… blackmail me? To negotiate?"

"No!" I said. Damn. Too quick. "No," I said slower. "I simply want to be sure that I will be of use to Your Lordship, lest I waste your time." Nice, I congratulated myself. Well played.

"I see," he said again. "Well. This plan… you are referring to the Godric's Project?"

"I – I am not aware of the title of this plan, my Lord."

"Never mind. I shall divulge this to you –" I sighed in relief, "with the strictest policy that if the plan leaks under any circumstances, you are to be held completely responsible. Are we understood, Pettigrew?"

"Clearly, My Lord."

There were footsteps, and I cringed as he came forward from the shadows. His eyes followed Nagini for a second before he, well, whistled at her, and that beast slid towards him and up his legs to his shoulders. The weight of her lowered him into a throne-like chair that he'd gotten from midair. Looked much comfier than my spindly little chair. Bugger.

"My Death Eaters are aware of the search for your old school-friends, Pettigrew," he said, stroking that vile creature's head. "Your ...friends. James Potter. Lillian Evans. And their boy, their disgusting boy. Harry."

As he said their names, their faces, so angelic, popped into my head. Lily, with her soft face and easy laugh. James, with his messy hair and quick spells. And baby Harry, so sweet, so tiny, so harmless, with eyes like his mother and hair like his father and a spirit all his own.

"Why –"

"I need not divulge the why's of the situation, I believe?" I stopped short. He was eyeing my really… I dunno, creepily. "Or is your contract voided, Pettigrew?"

I'd only ever seen one 'void contract' before. McManus had displeased him. The Dark Lord had sent Nagini to remove his Mark. I shivered. "No, Your Lordship," I whispered.

"I thought not." He smirked. His pupils contracted. "Your friends' last hiding spot was known to be Godric's Hollow, was it not?" I said nothing. "I said, was it not, Pettigrew?"

"Yes, My Lord."

"Believing that sentimentality will bind them there – with James Potter's parents buried there – I have deduced that they will most likely be hidden in that vile place, with protection, until my downfall." He chuckled softly. That laugh always sent shivers down my spine, and this one especially, considering the context. "My downfall, indeed."

"A ridiculous sentiment, my Lord," I said.

"Considering their attachment, then," he continued, stroking Nagini delicately, "I have decided that the gains outweigh the losses. My select Death Eaters are going to destroy Godric's Hollow."

I couldn't breathe. Godric's Hollow. Gone. Memories ran thru my mind faster than a penseive could show – swimming – parties – full moons – Harry – Lily – James –

"B-But what about the unnecessary death, My Lord?" I stammered. "So many purebloods … gone…"

"This is why you are here, is it not, Pettigrew?"

I blinked. Of course. Suddenly the way I'd been following became so much clearer. Before, I was going to use Remus's secret against him. What better than to send a werewolf on James and Lily, only for them to escape without harm? But now – secret keeper – if I could just save Harry somehow, if I could just get him away from there before the Dark Lord arrived, I knew, knew that James and Lily would forgive me…

"Pettigrew?"

"Yes, my Lord. I am here for you." I took a deep breath. "I have information that would save those purebloods."

.o.O.o.

There was no time.

I tried to get to the house, I really did, but Nagini was given duties to guard me at my station in Malfoy Manor in case something went wrong. The enitire time my body ran in shivers, my stomach clenching and unclenching, and I had told Sirius that something was going to happen, I had, hoping he would get there before something teribble occured...

And then He came back.

No, not "His Lordship," the great concieted git with the slanted eyes and the pale skin... no, Sirius, searching for me. I'd been allowed out with the knowledge that somehow, Harry had survived without my help (thank Merlin)... but Lily and James were gone, never again to look at me, to say "Peter, it's okay," "Peter, have some tea," "Peter, are you quite alright?" I could barely live with myself.

I had a plan when I met him. I blamed him fully at the time, because I didn't want to blame myself. I wanted him gone. Hadn't I told him that something was going to happen? That he should be there on Halloween, before half past nine? And the idiot didn't trust me enough to do it.

So I confronted him in that little alley, and I brought him into the life I was living. One of horror, of saddness, of regret and guilt and blame. I missed them so much, but at least, at the very least, Harry was alive.

Sirius's eyes stayed with me. They showed betrayal, an emptyness that he'd never shown to me before. A wish that maybe he could've saved them if he'd listened. And then he laughed, that long, maniacal laugh, and I knew he knew it wasn't his fault (like I tried to convince myself). He knew it was mine, and as I cut off my finger and dissappeared, that laugh of cold, hard anger made me pass out in the sewers.

I never forgot that laugh.

.o.O.o.

I can't believe it.

Harry. I can't believe my hand is crushing him, blocking his air, keeping him from living as I planned him to so long ago. His face is purple. The Dark Lord is clever indeed. This hand, this monster, is just his control over me. I want to stop it --- need to ---- Padfoot, Prongs, Flower, help me --

And then he says something. And those words – spit out like poison – they trigger this abomination to flicker. It's the foothold I need.

As that terrible hand turns on me, I feel myself smile on the inside. It's how I can serve the greater purpose. One less opposition in Harry's way, even if I was never an opposition. My face turns purple now, instead of his.

Brave boy. He's trying to save me. Even after I deceived him, made him think that I was his greatest enemy, he wants to save me. So like Lily. Such a delicate boy. I wish him well.

I try to tell him to stop, but I sputter. I can't speak. I'm afraid now, but there's a light in my heart. Oh, my friends. You are helping me, aren't you? Thank you, thank you, thank you –

Darkness comes over me. Good luck, Harry. Tell Remus he was always a friend to me. Give the Dark Lord an extra pinch for me.

And above all, dear boy, remember that I was never against you. I'm sorry. I'm so very, very sorry.