"Yo man!"
"Oh god."
"Well then fuck you," said Grimmjow.
At this point Ulquiorra got super pissed and just started beating the shit out of Grimmjow. Through out the entire process the pale as hell thing just kept screaming "NO MOAR FURRY!" After slamming his fists into the annoying green slash blue haired thing, when Ichigo showed up.
"Oh man," said the orange haired guy, "When did this happen? You stole my kill!"
"What?"
"You just totally stole my kill from me," said Ichigo, "I am so gonna kick your ass Ulquiorra!"
But the weird green eyed black haired guy just started to beat the crap out of Ichigo too. But then Ichigo put on his hollow mask and they started banging swords together. But then Ulquiorra got über pissed and released Murciélago which makes him like, Chuck Norris. But Ichigo made this big mistake, which was thinking that he could still take him on and then got his ass kicked. But Ulquiorra made the mistake of not cutting a deal with Kubo first and then inner hollow becomes like Bruce Lee and rips his arm off and beats the living shit out of him. Meanwhile Rukia and Chad, and Renji and I think someone else got the crap beat out of them by Yammy. So then Ichigo shows up and kinda kicks his ass but doesn't and then Kenpachi gets über pissed with Ichigo 'cause since like the Arrancar Arc started Ichigo gets the crap beaten out of him at least four times an episode. But before Ichigo man's up and finally just kills Kenpachi and Byakuya he has to go save these guys who are losing to Aizen despite pwning everyone else, except for Gin. But Ichigo can't kill Aizen 'cause Aizen used his brain and put a shield around him so he couldn't get all killed from behind. Then like twelve people get seriously raped by Aizen and he then proves to be stronger than pretty much everybody. But before he can just go and do whatever Kubo thought would be a good idea for him to do, Yamamoto wants to give him an ultra wedgie, but Aizen blocks the ultra wedgie with an arrancar specifically designed to destroy elastic. Yamamoto then goes Mr. Miyagi on that arrancar and then Aizen informs him that anti-elastic has a nuke inside him. Then somehow Ichigo becomes stronger than Goku and rapes Aizen despite him going Super Saiyan 4 and using spirit bomb.
"I don't know who you are, but you're clearly someone I need to beat the living snot out of since you have a black cloak on!" Sora and the black cloaked guy then started fighting each other with giant keys, since even though SquareEnix did Final Fantasy they don't want to put swords in the hands of the main character.
"You can't beat me! And that's because I technically am you since I'm a nobody because you became a heartless so long ago that no one remembers and it doesn't really make sense but I'm also cooler than you are because my hair doesn't look so fricking dumb!"
"You lie! Bitches love my hair more than yaoi!"
"No one likes your hair!" screamed Roxas. Then the two continued to try and kill each other. And if you remember that cutscene then you obviously liked that game and don't even try to deny it because otherwise you would not have known about it. To all those that don't know what the fuck it is I'm talking about, just YouTube Kingdom Hearts 2 cutscenes and after about four hours you'll see the video, or just type Sora vs. Roxas. It's your choice.Then when Roxas knocked away Sora's keyblade the main character nearly pissed his pants. I can't die…I have plot armor! But then Roxas just stood there and Ichigo came out of a hole in the sky with Kumā.
"Kumā attack!"
But unfortunately it was the Kumā who somehow became Pedo Bear, not the one from Tekken. Roxas knocked the creep aside and the meme that got someone arrested at Comic Con lay dead. But then Ichigo realized that he just had to go bankai, and used Tensa Zangetsu to beat the crap out of the only cool character inside Kingdom Hearts besides like Ansem and Riku. Sora was still super pissed and then challenged Ichigo to a fight. So Ichigo just rolled his eyes and totally kicked his ass. But then Naruto showed up and Ichigo was forced to beat the living shit out of him too, only this time it was actually a challenge since that ninetales form thing is really freakin' strong. But then Ichigo just did the thing he did to beat Aizen and raped the guy who does not look Japanese whatsoever…just like Ichigo.
"Dude," said Kaorin to Osaka, "You got this from Tomo?"
"It's pretty dumb isn't it?"
"Yeah no shit, what was she thinking?""She seems to be an Ichigo fan."
"Yeah no shit."
"She seems to think Naruto is epic."
"Yeah, why would she?""That pervy sage guy," said Osaka, "He was like Chuck Norris' grampa wasn't he?""He was my favorite," said Kimura, "Along with the guy with only one eye."Osaka and Kaorin nearly managed to shit their pants as Kumā appeared right next to Kimura. Thankfully it was only a poster he had brought out of storage. The man then walked away.
Meanwhile Tomo and Kagura were fucking... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...killing each other since one was über pissed that the other had lost her virginity before she had. This meant that one of them had lost the bet for INFINITY DOLLARS which had to paid in Yen, which is friggin' crazy! She was also jealous of her friend since she was fairly sure that she wasn't just lying to win the bet.
"YOU'LL NEVER WIN! 1010101010101!"
But then Sakaki just rolled her eyes and beat the shit out of both of them. But then she got attacked by Kamineko, who was still being a total bitch! But Sakaki just rolled her eyes before crushing the dick with her foot. But then the army of zomgies appeared from that one zombie game that people gave unfair reviews because the zomgies had guns! What's the problem? Do you really want to fight a bunch of stumbling, mindless, pushovers? If so just look for drunk software programmers! But before the zomgies could kill Sakaki she used Hadō Number 90 Kurohitsugi. The mindless freaks were trapped within a black box before large black spikes pierced the box from top to bottom, leaving only scraps of flesh behind.
"Well, well." Sakaki turned to see Kagura rise off of the floor. "I should have known better than to hold back against you."
Sakaki sighed. Her palm pointed towards the brown haired girl. A cool rush of air. The black haired teen saw a sword plunge toward her neck.CLANG
Two black blades met. Holding Tensa Zangetsu in her hands, Kagura cried for Sakaki's blood. A black shadow appeared behind her opponent. Its bat wings filled the girl's heart with dread. The black talons sprang towards her.
"Getsuga Tenshou!"
A black and red wave slammed into the demon's chest. The two forces strained to move forward. A crackling filled the air as the two sprayed out in a black and red cloud.
Kagura noticed black claws reach for her leg. She fired a black and red wave at the shape. She felt a presence behind. Flash step. The girl turned as a sword plunged towards her chest. Sparks sprayed off of the two weapons as they grinded against each other.
"You're faster than you were last time," said Sakaki.
"You're shadow isn't as easy to brush aside either."
"Of course it's not." Sakaki slashed at Kagura's face. "My spiritual pressure has sky rocketed since then. You don't stand a chance of beating me."
"We'll just see about that!"
"Another Getsuga? Please, give me a challenge." The black haired girl slashed the wave in half. Shapes appeared all around Sakaki. "What are you doing?"
"I've mastered flash step since the last time," said Kagura, "Am I going too slow? Just give the word and I'll cut you in half!""You've seen my shikai before haven't you?" asked Sakaki, "So aren't you curious as to why my bankai is only a shadow and a sword? My twin swords, are actually opposites. It is only when I release the second sword that my true power is unleashed. Now purify, Tenshi-sama."
A white light appeared next to the dark shadow. It was similar to the shadow in many ways except that the wings had no points, and its hands formed fingers. The two faceless beings stood in front of Kagura, giving her pause.
"The Lord of Demons, and the Lord of Angels," said Kagura, "I see you really like those fancy names. It's too bad that I'll have to tear them both apart!"
"Your insolence, it only makes defeating you so much easier."
"Well that's never gonna happen!"
And then Hwikek stopped typing, because John was an alien.
"You can't be serious," said Tomo, "You're really gonna stop the story there?"
"Well yeah…I guess."
"Hey everyone," said Osaka holding the number 4—
"NO!" screamed Hwikek, "We are not stealing someone else's joke again!"
"OHMYGOSH!" said Usher, "He did it 'gain, oh I'm so dissa-point-ahd! OHMYGOSH! Why can't you be funny now? There's so many ways to do that. You just need to think about, how things should go together. I mean it's easy like ohmygosh, you're so dumb, really stupid."
Then Usher transformed into Samuel L. Jackson as a bus full of snakes came onto the scene. But snakes are no match for Samuel L. Jackson, and he defeated them with his bare hands. But while he choked an anaconda with a Burmese python, a C-130 Hercules transport craft touched down. A horde of snakes slithered out as the cargo bay opened up. Two men stepped out of the cargo bay, Snake, and Snake. They walked towards Samuel L. Jackson, but snakes are no match for Samuel L. Jackson. After knocking Snake from the Simpsons onto the ground, Samuel L. Jackson turned to face, Will Smith."Getsuga Tenshou!"
"Give up," said Sakaki, "Oni-sama is the ultimate defense, and Tenshi-sama is the ultimate attack."
"Then when I slip around your angel, and cut through your demon, what does that make me?"
"Don't be so cocky," said Sakaki, "You haven't laid a finger on me.""Why did you write this?" asked Tomo."It doesn't really matter, it's epic like Ichigo vs. Byakuya," said Hwikek.
"It's time for Wheel of Fortune!"
"Okay," said Hwikek, "I have to go."