Title: Come And Break Down These Walls
Rating: T
Word Count: 5,300+ (total)
Characters: Conner/Cassie
Summary: He thinks maybe it's just really good timing (or really bad timing, if you think about it) that Cassie joins the Team shortly after he and M'gann break up.
Prompt: #181: confusion
Other Inspirations: none
Note: I don't know what this is, honestly. I started out with the Fourth of July scene and somehow ended up with this. I don't even know if this is AU, but I'm not sure if it would fit any canon timeline, either. But I don't hate it. Also, since Cassie seems younger in the show, this is probably more like the Cassie from the comics where she's around Conner's age.
Come And Break Down These Walls
He thinks maybe it's just really good timing (or really bad timing, if you think about it) that Cassie joins the Team shortly after he and M'gann break up. She's probably the only one who can look at him and not think of how they were such a cute couple, and honestly, he needs that right now.
He needs to not remember.
And okay, he broke up with her, and yeah, he feels awful. Of course he still loves her. He's loved her almost his entire life and that can be said without exaggeration.
But she was getting… She wasn't acting like herself.
It was just a few things here or there at first. Like, there'd be moments on missions where she'd kind of zone out and get really rough with her telekinesis. It wasn't like her first fight against Mister Twister, either, where they only thought she tried killing him but she didn't really. They'd look into her glowing eyes—glowing red eyes—and they could just tell she wanted to end her victim's life.
It was scary, and only got worse every time she used her powers. It freaked them all out, but no one dared saying anything, especially him. It was just so weird to see her turn into this cold killer on missions and then become this perky girl right when they got back into the Cave, like there was some sort of switch.
She wouldn't listen to any of them, either. She probably didn't even notice it, which explained why she was so confused and shocked when he brought it up during their breakup.
He just couldn't be around that anymore and watch the only girl he's ever love turn into this… monster. (And he's never, ever used that term with because… because. But hell, he doesn't know any other word that would suffice.)
He just…
He just needs to not remember.
... ...
Cassie becomes his new sparring partner.
It makes sense, if you really think about it, since she's practically the only other person on the Team who can throw a punch that'll actually hurt him. It's kind of a messed up reason, but he thinks maybe the pain is a good thing. She doesn't let him get away with anything, especially trying to fight her with blind rage, which he's done a couple of times and ended up on his back.
(She's pretty much how he thinks Black Canary would've been like if he'd met her when she was a teen.)
... ...
They're in the gym one day when she knocks the air out of him (literally ), and he kind of takes her down with him when he falls to the mats.
She's just sort of sitting on him and laughing really hard, her fist still against his chest and the other braced against the floor to keep her propped up. He smiles at her, because her laugh is infectious, and that's exactly how M'gann finds them when she walks in.
He doesn't think Cassie ever sees her, or the way her eyes widen and water, because the girl never once turns in her direction as she gets off of him and says, "Is that all you got, Stray?" (Something she started calling him when they were in the hanger—him working on a bike and her playing fetch with Wolf—and he told her how those two became his pets.)
He gets up and replies, "Of course not," in this challenging voice, and pretends not to notice the way M'gann slowly retreats and disappears as he and Cassie resume their stances.
... ...
He doesn't tell Cassie about the non-incident, mostly because he thinks she's just better off not getting in the middle of it. Well, more in the middle than she already is, being friends with him but not exactly friends with her.
He wonders if they've talked or anything. Maybe they would've been friends if he hadn't gotten to her first.
But then one day he finds her flipping through channels on the TV, skipping over every single romantic comedy and sitcom and finally stopping on Iron Man. When he asks her, just out of curiosity, why she chose that instead of anything else, she just shrugs and says, "The normal stuff's boring. Now, did you want popcorn? Because you're going to have to make your own if you do."
(He doesn't think about what Cassie and M'gann may or may not have been after that.)
... ...
He has these biweekly visits with Clark, where they'll get together and just hang out provided important scheduling differences (usually on his end) don't come up. They've been having them ever since New Year's five years ago, and it's been really helpful. He's comfortable with Clark now.
Maybe it's not quite the father-son relationship like Dick and Batman, but he's never experienced that kind of thing firsthand, either, so it's fine with him.
But he tells Clark about the breakup, even though he knows the League gossips about them (yeah, the Team has always had some good stories to tell so he doesn't blame them) and Clark probably already knows. He didn't bring it up at all, though, so he figures he's waiting for Conner to want to tell him on his own. And Conner does because he figures it's just the kind of thing a son would go to his father to.
He just sort of blurts out, "M'gann and I aren't together anymore," and looks to see how the guy reacts.
Clark sighs. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"How do you feel about that?"
Conner sighs this time. "I don't know. Weird. I've been with her my entire life, or at least, I've had feelings for her my entire life."
"Weird?" Clark echoes. Conner looks at him. "Sorry, it's just… I've never heard anyone feel that way about a breakup." Conner shrugs. "You don't feel heartbroken?"
Conner frowns. (Maybe, just a little. Okay, maybe just a lot. He doesn't know.) And Clark just sort of watches him for what feels like a minute or two, but when he finally talks again, it surprises Conner—what he talks about, at least. "So Diana tells me that Cassie told her you two have been hanging out recently."
"She did?"
"Well, that you two have been sparring recently. Is this true?"
"Yeah," Conner replies. "She's pretty fun to be around."
"Is it because being with her reminds you of being with Megan?" Clark asks, and Conner just stays quiet and wishes he could punch something because he doesn't know the answer.
... ...
(Actually, he does. He just thinks maybe it's the wrong one.)
... ...
Cassie's been talking about this movie for a while now that just recently came out, and he takes her to it because he honestly has nothing better to do. Well, also because he likes spending time with her and he kind of hates being in the Cave so much, so it's like three birds with one stone.
Apparently this thing is a big deal, because there are people in costume and everyone's taking pictures with them. The characters are on all of the popcorn buckets and plastic cups and there are posters of this same movie all over the place. And at first, he thought Cassie was just wearing red and gold because those are kind of her colors, but he can tell that her outfit represents one of the characters.
"He's a genius, playboy, billionaire philanthropist," she explains with a giggle, like it's some sort of inside joke. He looks at her like she's crazy.
Well, she kind of is, but still.
Anyway, he takes a picture of her and this guy that's dressed up as him, and she's laughing when she makes him take a picture with this guy that's kind of buff and painted green all over.
It's not until after the movie is over that he gets it.
"I am not like that Banner guy," he grumbles. She just shrugs and dumps the empty popcorn bucket into the trash. "I'm not!"
"Okay, Conner," she laughs. "But that's your secret, isn't it? You're mad all the time?"
He frowns and mutters incoherently under his breath, but then she's laughing kind of hard and her cheeks are flushed and yeah, he grins a little at that.
... ...
He's in the living room and not really paying attention to whatever new military game that Jaime and Garfield are playing when he hears his phone vibrate in his pocket. He rarely ever uses it, but Dinah made him get one a while ago and programmed everyone's numbers into it, and it comes in handy every now and then.
He pulls it out and sees a text message light up the screen from an unknown number, and he just raises an eyebrow before opening it.
Conner smash?
He chuckles a little and looks up to see Cassie walk into the room. She's dressed in her workout clothes with Wolf right beside her, and she doesn't look at him at all, but he also doesn't miss the smirk on the corner of her lips as she passes to walk down the other hallway that leads to the training platform.
"What's so funny?" Jaime asks, not even looking away from the screen.
Conner shakes his head then replies, "Nothing," when he remembers that they're not even looking at him. It doesn't really matter, anyway, because he's off of the couch and following Cassie shortly after.
... ...
When he finds out that M'gann and La'gaan are together, he chips off a good chunk of the rock from his bedroom wall when he punches it. Cassie was kind of distracted and cautious around him yesterday, too, when they were hanging out. He thought it was weird, but now he knows it's probably because she was worried about how he'd react to the news.
Obviously, not very well.
She must've heard him slam his fist into the wall, too—the whole Cave probably did—because she's rushing into his room a few moments later with an alarmed expression. He just looks at her and he actually hears her heart rate pick up. She's scared, either of him or of what he may do in his rage.
"Conner?" He's pressing her against the door the second it slides closed, and all she gets out is, "What're you—" before he's pressing his lips to hers.
God, this is screwed up for so many different reasons because he shouldn't be doing this to Cassie, using her. But she's perfectly capable of knocking him off of her if she wanted to and she doesn't, just makes his little noise from the back of her throat and kisses him harder.
He's kind of glad that she does.
... ...
Cassie won't look him in the eyes and hasn't since he kissed her yesterday, and honestly, he's angrier about that than he probably should be considering it's his fault.
Yeah, she kissed him back (if and when she decides to talk about this, he's not going to let her forget that little detail) despite most likely knowing his motives behind it, but still. He can count the number of people he considers his friends right now not even using all ten fingers and she's definitely one of them.
He'll be even more pissed if he permanently screwed that up for himself.
Anyway, it's late and he knows Cassie hasn't eaten dinner yet (Dick told him so), so he decides enough is enough and uses that as an excuse to check if she's in her room.
His knuckles have barely grazed the door when it slides open, her blue eyes meeting his. She has her lip between her teeth and is standing kind of stiffly, but she's at least looking him in the eyes now.
"Nightwing said you didn't eat dinner yet," he blurts out.
She looks at the tray in his hand and nods, stepping aside to let him in. He sets the tray on her nightstand and hears the door slide close as he's looking around her room. It looks like a typical teen's room to him with posters and a filled bookshelf and personal things here and there, but there are also pictures everywhere, most of them of her and a woman he assumes is her mom.
He knows Mrs. Sandsmark let her live in the Cave because she worked weird hours and preferred Cassie to be here, under constant watch and company, than possibly alone in their apartment at odd hours of the night. But he also knows that the arrangement leaves Cassie homesick, which would explain the collage of family photos covering her walls.
He picks up a frame. "Is this…?"
"Yeah, that's my mom." Well, now she's talking to him again, so he figures this is progress. "…Conner, you do realize what we did was kind of wrong, right?"
He sighs. "I know. I'm sorry. I… didn't handle the news very well."
"Well, I shouldn't have kissed you back, either."
He looks at her. "Why did you, then?" he asks softly, knowing she could hear him just fine.
She takes her lip between teeth and shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know," she admits, and he just looks at her because he knows that she knows why and just won't say it. Honestly, he thinks he knows why, too, but he wants to be sure. Then she mumbles, "I kind of like you, but I also know almost nothing about you."
"What do you mean? I'm sure I told you—"
She laughs and walks over to sit on the bed. "I meant the little things. The things that…" The things that M'gann would know? "I don't know. I guess I just feel like I don't know you that well."
He thinks he remembered Clark saying something similar to him when they were starting their biweekly visits, about how it's the details that matter. It just seems like simple information to him, but obviously it must mean something to the both of them, so he just says, "We can work on that," and relishes in the smile she gives him.
... ...
"I hate monkeys," is the first thing he says to her when they're both the first ones up and she's looking for something in the fridge. She looks down at her shirt—there's a cartoon monkey that he guesses is supposed to go with the bananas on her pajamas—and looks back at him.
"Not that one," he clarifies, "but, the real ones."
At first she just looks plain confused, but then she blinks and says, "Oh," and then blinks some more and says, "Oh," when she realizes what he's trying to do.
"Well, I hate cooking, so we're out of luck for breakfast until someone wakes up." She grins. "Unless you want to ditch and go get something in town."
"We can do that?"
She gives him a smirk. "It's not like anyone said we couldn't…"
... ...
It kind of becomes their thing, to just randomly drop these facts on each other whenever they're together.
Like when they were sparring in the gym and Cassie told him how she thought she was allergic to peanuts for the first part of her childhood just because her mother didn't like it and therefore wouldn't put it in their food. Or when it was his turn to do the dishes one night and Cassie helped dry, and she told him that she loved Greek mythology because she loved their stories on creation.
Most of the time, she was the one doing most of the talking because he doesn't have too much to say, but he likes listening to her. And he does tell her things when they pop into his head, so it's not like it's one-sided or something.
(He also thinks he's beginning to understand why Clark and Cassie like so many details.)
... ...
He goes with Clark to Smallville for the Kent family's Fourth of July barbecue, and Kara tackles him before he's even through the door, ruffles his hair and tells him that he's helping her set up in the backyard. Considering she's probably stronger than him he doesn't know why she needs him to move things, but when she starts questioning him about any girls in his life, he gets why she "needed help."
"Okay, I was going to be nice and let you tell me yourself, but you've lost that chance," Kara declares, setting the grill down. "What's up with you and Cassie?"
"We're friends. Nothing's up," he reminds.
He doesn't have to look at her to know that she's rolling her eyes. "Yes there is, or Clark and Diana wouldn't be telling me about it!"
This time he does look at her to glare. "You guys talk about us?"
"Can you blame us?"
He scoffs and turns his back to her to move the tractor out of the way, so he doesn't see her run towards him until she's knocking into him and sending them both crashing onto the ground. When he tries to get up, she just sits herself on the small of his back and wraps her arms around him from behind.
"Besides," she reminds, "Family is supposed to be nosy about this kind of stuff, Kon-El."
He shakes his head but chuckles when he feels her hug him tighter. "Alright, alright," he relents, "We're… really good friends."
"Yeah? How good?"
"She kind of qualifies as one of my only friends," he admits.
Kara gives his little sigh, and giggles at the face he makes when she kisses his temple. "That's so cute!"
"Yeah, well, it's kind of more complicated than that," he mutters, trying to get up, but Kara just shifts herself and weighs him down some more.
"We've got a few hours before our guests are supposed to show up, which are Diana and Cassie, might I remind you," Kara informs. "That should be enough time to start from the beginning, right?"
He sighs. He knew he shouldn't have said anything…
... ...
Talking with Kara does feel nice, though, just telling her everything without having to worry about decoding things. Apparently he and Clark are a lot alike when it comes to digressing personal information, so she can understand him without him having to say too much and he likes that.
He also likes that Kara is one of the few people that would never, ever judge him, so he really can—and does—tell her anything and everything.
When he gets the part about the kiss, though, he's in the kitchen helping Kara and Martha prep everything so they can start setting the food outside on the tables. He honestly doesn't mind if Martha, or Clark or Jon, for that matter (though they're not present because they drove into town to get something), hear this too. They're kind of awesome and understanding, and they're family, after all.
But yeah, instead of being disappointed or anything, Martha and Kara both have these dreamy expressions on their face, as if his impulsive kiss out of jealousy and rage was the most romantic thing ever.
"You'll be together forever!" Kara gushes, and Martha laughs.
"Guys…"
"Oh, let the romantics in us have a little fun," Martha tells him, and he chuckles when she pushes at his shoulder. "So, what are you going to do?"
"What am I going to do about what?"
Martha just gives him this look. "Cassie," Kara supplies.
"We're friends," he says as if it should be obvious. "Am I supposed to be doing something?"
"Yes!" Kara exclaims. "She obviously likes you, and you obviously like her, but she doesn't know you feel the same way!"
Conner looks at Martha, who chuckles and pats Kara's cheek as if to say, Nice try, dear, but I'll take it from here. "I know you must be reluctant to do anything because of Megan, but that's understandable. She was your first love, and always will be. But you don't know a life outside of her because you've never lived your life without her, and so your feelings for Cassie must be confusing. Am I close?"
He presses his lips together and nods.
"Cassie's a darling girl," Martha tells him, like he doesn't already know. "And you obviously enjoy her company a lot more than you let on."
"What are you getting at?"
Martha and Kara share a knowing look.
"Just be honest with her," Martha explains. "Tell her how you feel."
He gives an exasperated sigh, scratching the back of his neck. "I don't know. She probably already knows, anyway."
"She's not psychic," Kara reminds. "And she still deserves to hear the words from you, even if you don't have to say them out loud."
He cannot for the life of him decode what that means.
... ...
Cassie nearly eats as much as he does for lunch (which is more like an early dinner by the time they get around to eating), and he finds it kind of amazing considering she's just so small. Then again, Kara's the same way—she eats more than him and she looks awesome—so he wonders if it's true of all women or just the meta-human ones.
Then Jon says that he and Clark bought fireworks, so Diana helps Martha saran-wrap the leftovers and pack the desserts into picnic baskets for them to take to the lake.
When they get there, Cassie nudges his arm and winks, gesturing to Clark and Diana, and he smirks and nods. They push Clark and Diana into the water when they're not paying attention, and then when Kara knocks him and Cassie into the water, they take her in with them. The first thing he hears when he gets his head above water is Cassie laughing, and he ignores the look Kara gives him when he smiles.
Martha laughs and tells them that they're lucky she packed towels and a change of clothes for everyone in her third picnic basket, and Conner chuckles because he knows she probably knew that this would happen to begin with, so.
It's summer, though, so the air is warm and the night is nice. His hair is still a little wet, but he's wearing cutoffs and a plain white tee and is mostly dry by the time Jon and Clark beginning ripping the fireworks out of their packaging. Cassie's wearing orange flannel with jean shorts and her damp tied into this braid Kara did for her, and honestly, he thinks that this is the happiest he's seen her yet.
She walks over to him with a slice of Martha's cinnamon apple pie in each hand. "Happy Fourth of July."
He smiles and takes the plate she holds out for him. "Happy Fourth of July."
The bite he takes practically melts in his mouth, and Cassie makes his appreciative sound and licks her lips. "This is amazing. I swear, I'm torn between telling Martha to go into catering and wanting to keep her delicious talent to ourselves."
He laughs. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
"You woke up on the Fourth of July almost six years ago, right?" she asks. He raises an eyebrow. "So, today's kind of your birthday, too, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Happy Birthday," she tells him.
He grins, and somewhere beside them, Kara lets out a squeal. They turn to see Clark handing Diana a sparkler as Jon is setting off one of the fireworks. The sparks shoot out from the ground like some sort of fountain, and when he looks back at Cassie, she's smiling widely with the colorful light faintly touching her face from their distance.
She must sense him looking at her, too, because her eyes flicker back to meet his and kind of holds his stare for a few moments. "What?" she asks in this soft voice.
He places his free hand on the small of her back and she tips her head back slightly just as he slides his lips over hers, and then Kara is squealing again for an entirely different reason.
... ...
They spend the night at the Kent household, and they're trusted enough to camp out in the loft by themselves (which he thinks is because three out of five of them have super hearing and would know if something were happening the second it happens).
She's sitting on the couch next to him, her legs kind of draped over his as she's petting Wolf, when she asks, "So, are we…?"
He smiles, but waits until she turns to actually look at him before answering, "Yeah, we are."
She's practically beaming, and bites down on her lower lip as if to keep from smiling any wider. "Okay."
He kisses her gently on the lips, and then a little harder, and yeah, that's more than enough talking for them for the rest of the night.
... ...
"So, are you and my sister not…?"
Conner opens his eyes from underneath his shades and finds Gar sort of crouching beside where he's laying on his beach towel. He sighs a little and sits up, gives Gar a small smile. "No, we're not," he tells him gently, and kind of hates the look on Gar's face that follows. "I'm sorry, kid."
Gar shakes his head. "No, it's… It just kind of sucks, that's all, since you two kind of… I don't know, took care of me together."
Conner ruffles his hair a little, and Gar doesn't even try to swat his hand away like he usually does. "You know I'm still here for you no matter what, right?"
Gar smiles a little and nods.
"Good. And I'm not trying to replace M'gann or anything," he adds, "but as a teammate and a friend, Cassie will be here for you, too, okay?"
Gar looks over towards where the water meets the sand, and Conner follows his gaze until his eyes land on Cassie. She's deeper in so that the water is almost at her waist, and she's laughing as she and Barbara are trying to dunk each other. "Cassie's nice," Gar says almost out of the blue. "I… I kind of didn't like her at first, because I thought she was taking you away from my sister."
"Gar…"
"I mean, I don't think that anymore," he adds quickly, "but, I don't know. Do you think she'd be mad?"
"No. And even if she was, she'd forgive you pretty quickly."
"You think so?"
Cassie looks over at them and meets his eye, smiles and waves, and he chuckles when Barbara practically runs into her from the side and sends them both into the water. "I know so."
... ...
They're on another mission to infiltrate a Krolotean base on this small island off the coast of Madagascar (he doesn't know what it is with these aliens and water) when there's an explosion and Cassie, who was the closest, received some of the worst of the blow. He doesn't even recognize his voice when he shouts her name, and he isn't even aware that he's moving until his body hits the water.
She's unconscious and sinking, and he swims over to her and pulls them both to shore. Diana has a hand over her heart and tears in her eyes, and they're all kind of holding their breaths as he presses her chest and then sighing in relief as she sputters and coughs out seawater.
He swallows down a lump in his throat and she's shivering against him when she hugs him and says, "You can't get rid of me that easily, Stray."
He laughs and lets Diana pull Cassie from him so that she can hug her protégée, and Dick offers him a hand and helps him to his feet. Dick claps his hand to Conner's shoulder and Zatanna takes Dick's free hand in hers and smiles at Conner as Dick asks, "So, you and Cassie?" Conner just smiles. "I knew it before it even happened."
"Dick," Zatanna giggles, shaking her head, and then tells Conner, "We're glad you're happy, Conner. Cassie really is a special girl."
Conner just nods because it's true.
... ...
M'gann is emotional and crying when she kisses him, and he pulls away and has to remember to breathe as he stares at her.
"What are you doing?" he kind of hisses. He doesn't know who's around, but hell, he's not risking it. He doesn't even understand what's going on so he sure doesn't need other people dropping in and making assumptions, either.
"I'm sorry, I just… I just miss you. I miss us," she whimpers.
He steps back from her and pushes a hand through his hair, closes his eyes. The first thing he sees in his head is Cassie's face smiling back at him and—
"M'gann, don't," he says as firmly as possible. She looks up at him through teary eyes. "Come on. What about La'gaan? You didn't end things with him, did you?"
"No," she admits softly.
"Good. M'gann, you're probably just confused," he tells her. She opens her mouth to protest, but he cuts her off before she can speak, trying to remember what Martha and Kara had told him. "You—We… We were each other's first relationships, ever. I think we need to know how to live without each other." He takes a deep breath. "And, I really like Cassie."
Her eyes flutter a little and she looks away, wiping at her tears with the back of her hand.
"La'gaan's good to you, M'gann," he adds. "And just because things are weird right now doesn't mean that I won't be here for you. We're still friends, after all."
This time, she smiles a little and looks back at him. "Gar told me you'd said the same thing to him." He nods. Actually, he thinks maybe that's what set her off. He doesn't doubt that Gar telling her something like that would cause her to reminisce.
"Are you… you know, going to be okay?"
She smiles a little wider. "You're sweet, Conner," she tells him softly. "You always have been."
He smiles back. Maybe they're not entirely okay now, but he can tell they will be soon enough.
... ...
He tells Cassie about the kiss because he thinks she deserves to know, and at first he thinks he sees something flicker behind her eyes—anger, hurt, something else he can't quite decipher—but then she brings his lips to hers and kisses him, hard, right there in the middle of the gym. They're not alone, and he hears people catcalling around them, but he honestly could care less.
"Thanks for being honest," she tells him, but before he can respond, she knocks him on his back and straddles his waist. "But don't let it happen again."
He laughs and flips them over (he knows she let him), kissing her again.
Yeah, that promise won't be hard to keep.
... ...
When the Happy Harbor street fair is happening, Dick gives the Team the day off to enjoy themselves. Cassie makes him try almost every sugary and salty substance there, and she laughs so hard that he has to hold her up when he wins one of those ring tosses and gives her a giant stuffed monkey holding a banana like the one her pajamas.
She puts it on her bed when they get home, and he kisses her with her back against the mattress and his fingers combing through her hair.
He thanks her for making everything easy for him, and when she laughs and asks him what he's talking about, he just skims his thumb along the hem of her shirt and doesn't say anything. He thinks she understands, anyway.