A DBZ Christmas Carol
Written by: Jesscheaux
Disclaimer: I did not invent, nor do I own, DB/Z/GT or any of the characters.
I claim no rights whatsoever to A Christmas Carol, that belongs to Charles Dickens.
Author's notes: I've been noticing that people have been writing a bunch of holiday
fics and then the thought crossed my mind that it would be hilarious if I did a
DBZ version of A Christmas Carol. This is my interpretation which will (hopefully)
be humorous at times. I cast Piccolo as Scrooge because he's perfect for the part!
Yes, I have taken poetic license because of failure to find a copy of the story but
I tried to stick with the main story-line. ENJOI!
The cast is as follows but I let them keep their names mostly:
Scrooge: Piccolo
Bob Crachit: Goku
Tiny Tim: Goten and the rest of the Crachit family will be Chi-chi and Gohan.
Jacob Marley: Kami
Ghost of Christmas past: Puar
Ghost of Christmas present: Ox King
Ghost of Christmas future: Vegeta
Mr.and Mrs. Fizzywig: Krillin and 18
the girl that he doesn't marry (I can't remember her name): Jesscheaux (me!)
Scrooge's Nephew: Dende
The charitable collectors: Tien and Chaoutzu
the people selling his stuff in Christmas future: Bulma, Trunks and Yamcha.
I can't think of anymore parts right now, but I'm going to try and work in
Master Roshi, Oolong, maybe Supreme Kai, Hercule, Videl and whoever else
is important and cool!
____________________________________________________________________________________
Kami was dead. Dead as a doornail. He had been in his grave for many a year.
(Author's note: yes I know, if Kami dies then Piccolo dies but disregard that for
purposes of the story)
It was a haunted evening in which we first see the namek they call Piccolo Scrooge.
He kept to himself most of the time living alone in his stone cold house. It was empty
and had many rooms for he had all the money in the world, but no one to share it with.
His partner had been Kami Marley. In all the years they worked together, they took
from the poor and enjoyed it heartily.
Still at his business was the greedy miser counting the days riches at a hard wooden
desk. He sat in a large comfortable chair but still had his coat on for it was
freezing inside and out. Piccolo was too tight to use precious coal to light a fire.
His clerk, Goku Crachit, was taking down the day's business in a large ledger with
a feather pen and an ink well. His orange clothes were shabby and torn and his
gloves had no fingers. Goku would pause every few seconds to rub his hands together
only to get a harsh look from Scrooge; he would immediately begin to work again.
The door banged open as Piccolo's nephew Dende entered the shop with a Christmas wreath.
"Uncle Piccolo!!!!!!! Merry Christmas!" shouted the young namek.
"Harumph. Merry is it? Bah! What do you want, Dende?"
"Just to wish you a Merry Christmas and give this wreath." he announced while handing it to
Piccolo.
Piccolo just looked at it funny. Just then, two citizens who were collecting for the poor
entered the cold room.
"Hey Piccolo!" shouted Tien and Chaoutzu. "Wanna give us some money?" Chaoutzu asked.
Piccolo became very irritated. "WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?! You know I'm not going
to give you a dime." he said with a snort and put his nose in the air.
"You're no fun. It's Christmas!" Tien insisted.
"Christmas. Bah humbug! I don't celebrate that foolishness."
"Well, you could at least donate some money to the poor."
"Ha! The poor are only taking up space. They should leave this place so we don't
have to waste our money caring for them."
Chaoutzu pouted. "Meany....." he whispered.
"GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" Piccolo yelled.
"What about the donation?" asked Tien.
"I SAID NO!" Piccolo then grabbed the wreath from Dende's head and flung it
as hard as he could at Chaoutzu. It went over his head and twirled around his
feet.
Goku looked up from his desk. "Nice shot, Piccolo!"
Piccolo growled at Goku and said "Get back to work, Crachit!"
"Yes sir!" Goku said.
Tien and Chaoutzu left the room with Chatouzu still holding the wreath.
"Thanks for the wreath!" the little emperor said cheerily.
"ARRRGH!" Piccolo yelled as he slammed the door behind them. "Now Dende, would you
mind? We're still finishing up our work."
"Oh, sorry Uncle Piccolo. I wanted to invite you to my Christmas party tomorrow.
You wanna come? Mr. Popo is cooking up lots of good stuff!"
"Dende you fool, we don't eat, remember?" Piccolo grunted in a very aggrated tone.
Dende smacked his forehead. "Oh yeah! Well, we are importing a bunch of water. Sound
good? You'll come right?"
"I told you NO! I don't celebrate Christmas. I never have and I never will."
"Ok then, but if you change your mind the invitation still stands!" Dende said excited
and skipped away with a final "Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas to you too Dende!" Goku yelled after him and then cowered when
he saw Piccolo's disapproving glare.
The old grandfather clock struck 8 o'clock and Goku jumped for joy. He began putting
his tools away.
Piccolo looked up gruffly and said, "You may go now, Crachit. I'll see you at 8 o'clock
tomorrow morning."
Goku's face fell, "But Mr. Scrooge?" he protested.
"What?" was the harsh answer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas!"
"So what? I don't care about all the silly human holidays. You will be here tomorrow
at 8 or lose your job, Goku."
"*clears throat* but I'm not a human."
Piccolo rolled his eyes. "What are you suggesting, Goku? You want the day off?"
Goku nodded.
An aggravated grunt followed as Piccolo thought it over. "No."
"But but but.......it's the holidays! Everybody celebrates, Christmas, even Vegeta!"
"Vegeta?! That's hard to believe."
"It's true! And I'd like to spend the day with my family. Besides, none of the other
business' will be open, so there's no one to do business with."
"You do have a point. Very well, Goku. Go and celebrate your silly Christmas. I want
nothing to do with it."
"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!" Goku screamed and tried to hug Piccolo who blocked
him with his fist.
"Back off, I said go. NOW."
"Sure sure. Whatever you say. (to himself) Oh boy oh boy! Chi-chi, Gohan, and tiny
Goten sure are going to be happy!"
Piccolo's ears perked up at the sound of Gohan's name. "Gohan, eh? Well, you're lucky,
it's only for his sake that I let you go. So, get out!"
Goku nodded and flashed his famous grin at the agitated Piccolo and ran out the
door. He ran down the street clicking his heels together and shouting "Merry Christmas!"
to everyone he passed.
Piccolo watched him go and shook his head at the man's foolishness. "Christmas. Bah Humbug!"
He then put on his cape and turban and headed home himself.
He walked down the long cold streets to his mansion. Everywhere he went people would
stare at him strangely and back away. Wherever there was laughter it soon ceased
as Piccolo Scrooge passed by.
"Bakas." Piccolo muttered as he retrieved the key to open the door of his mansion which
was as empty and cold as his heart.
He unlocked the door and reached for the knob. All of a sudden, the knocker that was
once shaped like a dragon, turned into the face of his old partner, Kami Marley.
"Picccccolooooo." he said eerily and disappearead as suddenly as he came.
Piccolo jumped back. "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!"
Piccolo decided it was just his imagination and he went inside to drink his nightly
bottle of water and then go to sleep.
Piccolo dressed in his pajamas (hee hee! funny mental picture) and robe and made
a small fire. He sat in his favorite chair and enjoyed his solitary bottle of water.
It was awfully quiet in the large house. A little too quiet. Piccolo sighed and just
kept drinking while thinking about his boring day. A faint clinking sound was heard his
extra-sensitive ears picked it up right away. He turned his head rapidly and the clinking
stopped.
Piccolo shook his head. "It must be my imagination again."
The clinking started up again a moment later getting louder with each second.
It came up the stairs and and closer to Piccolo.
"HUH?! Now I'm really losing it! What is that?"
A voice came eerily from the behind the door. "Picccccoloooooooo!"
Piccolo bolted up out of his chair as he recognized it. "KAMI?!"
What happened next was most surprising. A white being entered the room, going right through
the door. Piccolo stared in disbelief at what he was sure was Kami's ghost. He was covered
in chains that wrapped around his body. Some had large locks and boxes attached.
The ghost of Kami put his hands on his hips and said: "Well now, don't you recognize your old
partner, Piccolo?"
Piccolo backed away and said: "It's you, Kami?"
"Yes, it's me."
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be resting or counseling the dead or something?"
"Yes, I do that too. But I am here to warn you."
"Warn me? Of what?"
"Do you see these chains?" Kami asked while gesturing towards himself.
Piccolo nodded.
"These were the chains I acquired throughout my life by doing selfish deeds and not
helping others. I will be forever bound because of my foolishness in this life.
I am here to tell you that your fate will be the same if you do not change
your ways, Piccolo. For I see that your chains are longer and heavier than mine."
"NO! That can't be true! You're not real! You're just a bad dream. Must've been that
cheap water I drank. I usually only drink Ozarka. But no, tonight I drank the Wal-mart
brand."
"You cannot deny the truth. Change your ways, Piccolo. Tonight you will be visited by
three ghosts the first at the stroke of 1 am. They will help you. Listen to them
and abide by what they say, or your fate will be worse than even mine." Kami finished
and started fading away.
"Kami! No! This can't be true, I refuse to believe it!" Piccolo shook his head violently
trying to find and explanation for it all. He decided to go straight to bed and be rid
of this image by collapsing into sleep. He went into his dark room, crawled under the
covers, blew out the candle and pulled the sheets around his bed.
"Three ghosts and the first at the stroke of one. Yeah right, that old man was always
insane in life anyway." Piccolo said to himself as he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
That's the first installment! I'm going to be working on the other ones very SOON!
Tell me what you thought? Do you like it? Is it good so far? Don't forget to check
out my other fics too ;) Ja ne everybody!
Written by: Jesscheaux
Disclaimer: I did not invent, nor do I own, DB/Z/GT or any of the characters.
I claim no rights whatsoever to A Christmas Carol, that belongs to Charles Dickens.
Author's notes: I've been noticing that people have been writing a bunch of holiday
fics and then the thought crossed my mind that it would be hilarious if I did a
DBZ version of A Christmas Carol. This is my interpretation which will (hopefully)
be humorous at times. I cast Piccolo as Scrooge because he's perfect for the part!
Yes, I have taken poetic license because of failure to find a copy of the story but
I tried to stick with the main story-line. ENJOI!
The cast is as follows but I let them keep their names mostly:
Scrooge: Piccolo
Bob Crachit: Goku
Tiny Tim: Goten and the rest of the Crachit family will be Chi-chi and Gohan.
Jacob Marley: Kami
Ghost of Christmas past: Puar
Ghost of Christmas present: Ox King
Ghost of Christmas future: Vegeta
Mr.and Mrs. Fizzywig: Krillin and 18
the girl that he doesn't marry (I can't remember her name): Jesscheaux (me!)
Scrooge's Nephew: Dende
The charitable collectors: Tien and Chaoutzu
the people selling his stuff in Christmas future: Bulma, Trunks and Yamcha.
I can't think of anymore parts right now, but I'm going to try and work in
Master Roshi, Oolong, maybe Supreme Kai, Hercule, Videl and whoever else
is important and cool!
____________________________________________________________________________________
Kami was dead. Dead as a doornail. He had been in his grave for many a year.
(Author's note: yes I know, if Kami dies then Piccolo dies but disregard that for
purposes of the story)
It was a haunted evening in which we first see the namek they call Piccolo Scrooge.
He kept to himself most of the time living alone in his stone cold house. It was empty
and had many rooms for he had all the money in the world, but no one to share it with.
His partner had been Kami Marley. In all the years they worked together, they took
from the poor and enjoyed it heartily.
Still at his business was the greedy miser counting the days riches at a hard wooden
desk. He sat in a large comfortable chair but still had his coat on for it was
freezing inside and out. Piccolo was too tight to use precious coal to light a fire.
His clerk, Goku Crachit, was taking down the day's business in a large ledger with
a feather pen and an ink well. His orange clothes were shabby and torn and his
gloves had no fingers. Goku would pause every few seconds to rub his hands together
only to get a harsh look from Scrooge; he would immediately begin to work again.
The door banged open as Piccolo's nephew Dende entered the shop with a Christmas wreath.
"Uncle Piccolo!!!!!!! Merry Christmas!" shouted the young namek.
"Harumph. Merry is it? Bah! What do you want, Dende?"
"Just to wish you a Merry Christmas and give this wreath." he announced while handing it to
Piccolo.
Piccolo just looked at it funny. Just then, two citizens who were collecting for the poor
entered the cold room.
"Hey Piccolo!" shouted Tien and Chaoutzu. "Wanna give us some money?" Chaoutzu asked.
Piccolo became very irritated. "WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?! You know I'm not going
to give you a dime." he said with a snort and put his nose in the air.
"You're no fun. It's Christmas!" Tien insisted.
"Christmas. Bah humbug! I don't celebrate that foolishness."
"Well, you could at least donate some money to the poor."
"Ha! The poor are only taking up space. They should leave this place so we don't
have to waste our money caring for them."
Chaoutzu pouted. "Meany....." he whispered.
"GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" Piccolo yelled.
"What about the donation?" asked Tien.
"I SAID NO!" Piccolo then grabbed the wreath from Dende's head and flung it
as hard as he could at Chaoutzu. It went over his head and twirled around his
feet.
Goku looked up from his desk. "Nice shot, Piccolo!"
Piccolo growled at Goku and said "Get back to work, Crachit!"
"Yes sir!" Goku said.
Tien and Chaoutzu left the room with Chatouzu still holding the wreath.
"Thanks for the wreath!" the little emperor said cheerily.
"ARRRGH!" Piccolo yelled as he slammed the door behind them. "Now Dende, would you
mind? We're still finishing up our work."
"Oh, sorry Uncle Piccolo. I wanted to invite you to my Christmas party tomorrow.
You wanna come? Mr. Popo is cooking up lots of good stuff!"
"Dende you fool, we don't eat, remember?" Piccolo grunted in a very aggrated tone.
Dende smacked his forehead. "Oh yeah! Well, we are importing a bunch of water. Sound
good? You'll come right?"
"I told you NO! I don't celebrate Christmas. I never have and I never will."
"Ok then, but if you change your mind the invitation still stands!" Dende said excited
and skipped away with a final "Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas to you too Dende!" Goku yelled after him and then cowered when
he saw Piccolo's disapproving glare.
The old grandfather clock struck 8 o'clock and Goku jumped for joy. He began putting
his tools away.
Piccolo looked up gruffly and said, "You may go now, Crachit. I'll see you at 8 o'clock
tomorrow morning."
Goku's face fell, "But Mr. Scrooge?" he protested.
"What?" was the harsh answer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas!"
"So what? I don't care about all the silly human holidays. You will be here tomorrow
at 8 or lose your job, Goku."
"*clears throat* but I'm not a human."
Piccolo rolled his eyes. "What are you suggesting, Goku? You want the day off?"
Goku nodded.
An aggravated grunt followed as Piccolo thought it over. "No."
"But but but.......it's the holidays! Everybody celebrates, Christmas, even Vegeta!"
"Vegeta?! That's hard to believe."
"It's true! And I'd like to spend the day with my family. Besides, none of the other
business' will be open, so there's no one to do business with."
"You do have a point. Very well, Goku. Go and celebrate your silly Christmas. I want
nothing to do with it."
"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!" Goku screamed and tried to hug Piccolo who blocked
him with his fist.
"Back off, I said go. NOW."
"Sure sure. Whatever you say. (to himself) Oh boy oh boy! Chi-chi, Gohan, and tiny
Goten sure are going to be happy!"
Piccolo's ears perked up at the sound of Gohan's name. "Gohan, eh? Well, you're lucky,
it's only for his sake that I let you go. So, get out!"
Goku nodded and flashed his famous grin at the agitated Piccolo and ran out the
door. He ran down the street clicking his heels together and shouting "Merry Christmas!"
to everyone he passed.
Piccolo watched him go and shook his head at the man's foolishness. "Christmas. Bah Humbug!"
He then put on his cape and turban and headed home himself.
He walked down the long cold streets to his mansion. Everywhere he went people would
stare at him strangely and back away. Wherever there was laughter it soon ceased
as Piccolo Scrooge passed by.
"Bakas." Piccolo muttered as he retrieved the key to open the door of his mansion which
was as empty and cold as his heart.
He unlocked the door and reached for the knob. All of a sudden, the knocker that was
once shaped like a dragon, turned into the face of his old partner, Kami Marley.
"Picccccolooooo." he said eerily and disappearead as suddenly as he came.
Piccolo jumped back. "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!"
Piccolo decided it was just his imagination and he went inside to drink his nightly
bottle of water and then go to sleep.
Piccolo dressed in his pajamas (hee hee! funny mental picture) and robe and made
a small fire. He sat in his favorite chair and enjoyed his solitary bottle of water.
It was awfully quiet in the large house. A little too quiet. Piccolo sighed and just
kept drinking while thinking about his boring day. A faint clinking sound was heard his
extra-sensitive ears picked it up right away. He turned his head rapidly and the clinking
stopped.
Piccolo shook his head. "It must be my imagination again."
The clinking started up again a moment later getting louder with each second.
It came up the stairs and and closer to Piccolo.
"HUH?! Now I'm really losing it! What is that?"
A voice came eerily from the behind the door. "Picccccoloooooooo!"
Piccolo bolted up out of his chair as he recognized it. "KAMI?!"
What happened next was most surprising. A white being entered the room, going right through
the door. Piccolo stared in disbelief at what he was sure was Kami's ghost. He was covered
in chains that wrapped around his body. Some had large locks and boxes attached.
The ghost of Kami put his hands on his hips and said: "Well now, don't you recognize your old
partner, Piccolo?"
Piccolo backed away and said: "It's you, Kami?"
"Yes, it's me."
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be resting or counseling the dead or something?"
"Yes, I do that too. But I am here to warn you."
"Warn me? Of what?"
"Do you see these chains?" Kami asked while gesturing towards himself.
Piccolo nodded.
"These were the chains I acquired throughout my life by doing selfish deeds and not
helping others. I will be forever bound because of my foolishness in this life.
I am here to tell you that your fate will be the same if you do not change
your ways, Piccolo. For I see that your chains are longer and heavier than mine."
"NO! That can't be true! You're not real! You're just a bad dream. Must've been that
cheap water I drank. I usually only drink Ozarka. But no, tonight I drank the Wal-mart
brand."
"You cannot deny the truth. Change your ways, Piccolo. Tonight you will be visited by
three ghosts the first at the stroke of 1 am. They will help you. Listen to them
and abide by what they say, or your fate will be worse than even mine." Kami finished
and started fading away.
"Kami! No! This can't be true, I refuse to believe it!" Piccolo shook his head violently
trying to find and explanation for it all. He decided to go straight to bed and be rid
of this image by collapsing into sleep. He went into his dark room, crawled under the
covers, blew out the candle and pulled the sheets around his bed.
"Three ghosts and the first at the stroke of one. Yeah right, that old man was always
insane in life anyway." Piccolo said to himself as he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
That's the first installment! I'm going to be working on the other ones very SOON!
Tell me what you thought? Do you like it? Is it good so far? Don't forget to check
out my other fics too ;) Ja ne everybody!