There are countless definitions of what aftermaths are they can be known to be consequences especially those of disaster and misfortune, they are also defined as the aftermath of war or those following a disastrous event. War hadn't occurred here there hadn't been thousands of men on two sides fighting against each other with many lives lost, but instead there had been one casualty, one very important and loved but now lost casualty, Jeremy Gilbert. In a way you could say that this team had been at war, at war to find the cure to reestablish hope, but more importantly at war to survive, because ever since Vampire's and the rest of the supernatural had been introduced to Mystic Halls hell had opened and each and every second of every day, hell moment this group was fighting to survive, fighting to keep pushing on. Tragedy after tragedy they encountered from the bastard of all Originals entering town on a mission which resulted in the loss of Jenna, to Mama Witch having it out for her children and the rest of Vampires causing her to make her own Vampire Hunter which had been Alaric, and because of that they had lost him in the end. It wasn't just those around them who had suffered they had suffered too with Stefan falling back into his Ripper Day's and venturing off with Klaus to be his personal Vampire bitch because he had been in debt to him for saving Damon's life, but the worst in Damon's opinion had been Elena Gilbert dying and waking up as a Vampire. From day one of her being a Vampire things were difficult everyone's lives was turned upside down trying to help her adjust all having different theories on going about it. There were times like now that Damon blamed himself for this turn of events because if he hadn't fallen for her, if he hadn't been so blind maybe just maybe he would have seen how out of character she was, hell she loved Stefan always Stefan right? Why then did he finally accept differently, if he had just turned away or been open to the fact of a sire bond then perhaps this wouldn't have happened, because she wouldn't have needed to take the cure to prove her feelings for him, feelings he was pretty much sure didn't exist.
Damon had been blaming himself yet if a person really took the time to dissect everything they'd be re-routed right back to square one, Stefan.
"All I'm saying Damon is you ended up taking the easy way out in this you saw her weak, vulnerable and you couldn't deal with that so instead you told her to shut off her emotions completely….and now look"
Hands gripped the bottle of bourbon he was holding "don't" he warns through clenched teeth "don't you dare brother tell me that I couldn't accept Elena…..newsflash brother I've always accepted Elena" a low growl echoing through his lips "human or Vampire I accepted her…..not for what she was brother but for who….you….you" he hisses out advancing a couple of steps forward poking him in the chest "you were the one who couldn't accept her…..who judged her every god damn time she crossed into a room….you didn't like the fact that her brown doe eyes didn't shine with innocence or that she could actually take care of herself and wasn't breakable….you didn't like the new version you wanted to return it….if it wasn't for you and your obsession for this cure this" gesturing his hands out in front of him "wouldn't be happening."
Damon knew that wasn't true, that they couldn't predict every event, but the anger was bottling up inside and if Stefan was going to play the blame game then it only made sense he got a chance at it too. The sound of the shower from upstairs falls shut signaling that Elena has just finished and right now he finds himself wanting to be anywhere but here, everyone expected him to be the strong one, but inside he was breaking and he needed to get the hell out of here. Raising the bottle to his lips "oh" his cold stone stare intent on his brother "you really want to raise the stakes lets add in the fact that if you hadn't been a cowardly kiss ass you would have dropped the Quarterback and saved her first...resulting in her still being human" taking a deep swig "game...set...match" and without another word he's turning on his heels and heading out the door.
Returning back to the present his gaze remained on the empty lot his heart sinking as his eyes swept around trying to recall the house that had been set to memory. There was absolutely nothing left of the Gilbert house, the flames had swallowed it completely whole by the time the fire units had arrived, everything was destroyed except part of the porch which Damon found to be slightly ironic. Part of him was half surprised that no one else was around, then again it was late into the night close to morning and residents were most likely sleeping snug in their beds with their family beside them not even knowing how real things that go bump in the night are "lucky bastards" he murmurs to himself forcing himself out of his car, grabbing the bottle of bourbon set beside him on the passenger's seat as he slides out making his way to the destroyed lot.
The moment he steps out of the car his senses are greeted by the scent of the after smoke immediately hitting him, feet make their way onto what he knows use to be the pathway leading up to the home, he comes to a sudden halt as he gazes at the destroyed porch half of it still remaining Elena and I kissed on this porch….she kissed me back here at that time I thought things were so difficult with Stefan on the loose now I'd give anything to have that back instead he sadly thinks to himself shaking himself of the thought as his feet once again set place on the dirty ground. Closing his eyes he mentally pictures the familiar little house in his mind allowing his feet to carry him through the threshold of the house, stopping at the foot of the stairs as his eyes open up casting their gaze upwards recalling how many times his non beating heart would beat out of his chest as he took each new step bringing him closer and closer to Elena's room. Shaking his head he continues his journey through the house focusing hard enough recalling each room. "Right now I'm in the living room" he whispers to himself recalling all the times during the summer he had barged in making family time, mainly it was Sunday's he'd tell Alaric, Elena and Jeremy it was tradition to take a pause in life each time him and Jeremy would end up playing a new game in hopes that Damon would lose, but always came out victorious. "Sorry it wouldn't have been a fair play if I let you win" a hint of a smirk playing on his lips as he turns on his heel making his way into the kitchen.
When Stefan had been off with Klaus, Elena had lost it focusing on finding him, but Damon had stated to Alaric how one day of the week needed to be spent doing normal family things, most of the time Damon was in charge of that. Sunday's he'd be over bright and early before any of them woke and when they did they'd be greeted by the heavenly scent of Damon's pancakes, Friday nights were spent with them ordering a pizza, playing cards and ending with the kids being sent off to bed while him and Alaric kept up tradition of having their nightly nightcap. So many memories had happened in this little house, memories that Damon actually never would admit, but held dear.
This had been Elena's home and Jeremy's home it had been a place where a lot of significant things had happened like him being invited in for the first time when she or anyone else wasn't aware of what he or his brother was. This had been the place where she finally connected the dots being introduced to a whole new world around her, one that resulted in him having the door slammed in his face making him instantly aware that Stefan had told her their dark little secret, and also where Baby Gilbert had snooped being greeted at the fact for why Vicki Donovan had died resulting in Damon being the one to compel him to forget, to treat Jenna and Elena with respect and to drop the stoner act and focus on his studies. It had been a place where her friends would gather and on rare times actually be normal for a change, but it had also been a place where all the losses started from Jenna, Alaric and now Jeremy. It was easy to understand why the home didn't feel like home anymore, because it was only a constant reminder of everything and everyone lost. This had been the place where Elena had lost everything including herself.
"Why" he whispers "why did you do this what sin did she commit that caused you to take everything away to take him away" he whispers casting his gaze upwards hoping to find some sort of answers. "Jeremy" he swallows hard, raising the bottle to his lips, latching onto it as he takes a deep swig "he was the only person holding her together...she told me that she told me how her brother was the only person holding her from snapping and now he's gone...and you took him" he growls out gripping onto the bottle to the point that he feels the broken shards of glass pierce into this skin.
"I'm the bad guy...I'm the one who's reckless and selfish why couldn't it be me why can't you punish me...take me...kill me he was just a boy...he didn't do anything wrong but love his sister...mine or Stefan's love can't compare to the love shared by those two...it's the strongest bond that I know and you broke it." Part of him is half grateful that it's so late and people are sleeping considering he must look like he's gone mad as he paces around an empty and destroyed lot mumbling to himself, and he's pretty sure if anyone was to disrupt him he'd snap their neck.
Inwardly he finds himself flinching casting his gaze down in shame "my actions were selfish...I threw a tantrum and you were in my line of fire...I...I" he's struggling with words "I'm sorry...you don't know how sorry I am for that night if I could take it back I would...I'm so grateful you had on that ring" he shivers not even wanting to imagine what would have happened if the younger Gilbert hadn't woken up. "I never hated you" offering a faint smile shifting his gaze forward "if anything...if anything I admired you' he confesses rocking slowly on his heels "you were just a kid the only problems that you should have been greeted with was getting caught smoking pot and finding someone to get laid with" a slight chuckle escaping his lips "yet you didn't get that" he's trying to ignore the sillyness of the situation of how he's talking really to himself, but considering he has no grave to speak to he figures this will have to do. "You were greeted to the supernatural world I'm sorry about Vicki I killed her because I was bored" he admits with a slight shrug "I was a different person then...and i know you were upset finding out that Elena...that your sister asked for my help, but she had your best interest at heart...she just...she wanted you to have a normal life, because she was too far into the supernatural one to have her own."
"For the longest time I thought you to be cursed I mean any girl you slept with dropped like flies" his brow raising "is that why Bonnie is still alive because you two didn't do the nasty" smirking slightly before raising his hands up in defense "sorry...sorry natural instinct...it's cheesy I know, but I only pick on those that I tolerate and give two shits about...it's my way of feeling, Stefan is more vocal about it...not me." Raising a hand up he rakes it through his dark locks "what I'm saying Baby Gilbert is that I ca-cared about you...if anything I viewed you as an annoying twerp of a little brother...Stefan is my brother don't get me wrong, but the relationship we had in the past during our human years it's gone...and considering the events that took place it won't be coming back anytime soon...with you, with you I was able to tease, taunt and annoy and instead of rolling your eyes or shaking your head in irritation you gave it right back calling me a dick...isn't that what brothers are suppose to do" he asks with a raised brow and hint of a smile on his lips.
The lightness of the mood vanishes as he finds himself moving onto a much more grim topic "I have to apologize to you for not keeping my word...I promised Alaric that I would look out for both you and Elena...that I would take care of you two and" blinking his eyes to stop the tears from welling "I failed...I failed you both, you because you're gone and Elena because...I guess you could say she's gone too...I'm going to get her back though I'll be with her through it all I won't abandon her I promise you that."
Feeling as if he's said his peace and not knowing how else to end this he turns on his heel about to make his way out, but something buried in the corner catches his attention, brows raised as he makes out a set of black eyes "what the hell" he mutters to himself walking over, curious to see what has caught his attention, crouching down, he pushes up his sleeves as he begins sifting through the ash, immediately his hand becoming drenched in black soot, but he ignores it as his mouth falls agape to the item that is displayed before him. Buried beneath the ash, covered in a black soot had been Elena's Teddy Bear that had rested comfortably always on her bed, his blue hues examine it taking notice how one of the eyes are popped out and an arm is out of place, fingers carefully graze the stuffed animal as if he's petting it "I'm sorry buddy" he whispers recalling how every time he had made a surprise appearance in Elena's bedroom he'd always perch the bear on his chest absentmindedly playing with it. For a fraction of a second Damon debates on cleaning it Sir Ted up, the name he had deemed the bear figuring Teddy had been too damn cliche. Unfortunately though the bear is too damaged beyond repair and it would only serve as another reminder of tonight's events, he was pretty sure if he was to give it to Elena she'd rip it apart, and this bear just didn't deserve that not after everything.
With new idea set in mind Damon rises from the ground with bear in hand as he crosses into the center of the house, bending down once again he sets the Teddy gently down, grabbing a piece of fallen rubble using it as a stand leaning the bear against it. "Sorry I didn't come with anything else" he mutters falling silent for a moment debating on what should be said next, knowing Jeremy deserves a proper speech.
"I know that me of all people shouldn't be the one giving a eulogy of sorts seeing as I'm far from deserving of giving one, but seeing as it's just me here we're going to have to make do" he explains closing his eyes for a moment to gather words.
"Here lies Jeremy Gilbert when I first met him...I considered him the cliche version of a troubled teen he ran with the Goth Crew, gave lip to his aunt and sister and pretty much enjoyed causing trouble when it came to a certain woman summing it up he was a little pain in the ass punk" chuckling slightly as he raises a finger up "but somewhere along the way that boy grew up... tragedy after tragedy befell on him and it was all mainly because of his sister and her supernatural following, but never once, never once did he turn his back on her...loss after loss he remained faithfully by her side. The ironic thing about it all was the fact that Elena wasn't even his sister...more so a cousin, but you'd never know that because their bond was always strong...he accepted her birth certificate or not Elena Gilbert in his eyes was his sister and will always remain his sister." Pausing for a moment to contain his emotions "He was just a teen and yet with the events surrounding him he was forced to grow up quickly...he had been given the chance to bolt, to run to get the hell away from dodge and live a normal life, but he accepted the life given to him and rather than run he fought...I had the privileged of watching a boy grow to a man and though I was never vocal about it I admired it...admired him, because here he was just a human and yet he was stronger than any of us combined because he had heart...guess you could say it ran in the Gilbert genes."
Damon staggers for a moment with words and he knows at about any second his walls will come down and he'll weaken "older sibling's are the ones who are suppose to take care of their younger siblings and Elena did that, but Jeremy took care of her too...he put her happiness before his own, and he sacrificed every part of him through blood and sweat every action made by him was for her...unfortunately" his voice now trembling "that sacrifice ended with his life...Jeremy Gilbert was the definition of a good man...of a good brother, he was brave, selfless, strong, amusing and he had one hell of a heart...Stefan, Elena's friends and myself we've all helped her in ways...all been part of her strengths but Jeremy...Jeremy was her rock, Jeremy is what kept her going...fighting no one will ever love Jeremy more than Elena and the same goes for her...though he is gone never will there be a day where he is forgotten...I only hope that he's found peace reunited with his loved ones his parents, Anna, Vickie, Jenna, John and Alaric."
Giving the bear a light pat he grabs a fistful of ash, rising from the ground "earth to earth, ashes, to ashes, dust to dust" he whispers scattering the burnt ashes around until there is no more in his hands. He can feel something running down his cheek and it takes him a moment to realize he's crying, but rather than wiping the tears away he allows them to fall and allows himself to be weak for this moment knowing the second he returns to the Boarding House he'll have to put on his facade of a mask back on.
"Rest in peace Baby Gilbert."