Can't Say No

Ch. 1—Can't Say No to Beer

"Unhand me this instant, you fool!"

Germany turned around only to see his older brother come into the bar, dragging along a furiously struggling Austrian by the neck.

"Yo, West! Look who I brought with me!" Prussia cackled, effortlessly dodging the man's wild swings.

Germany stared before sighing, palming his face as he waved away the bartender. The bartender nonchalantly picked up the nation's empty mug and wandered away, already used to the craziness of the Prussian.

"Bruder, why did you bring Austria with you?" Germany asked, looking at the still protesting brunette.

"'Cause it's fun!"

"It most certainly is not! Now release me, you buffoon!"

Finally wrenching himself from the albino's grasp, Austria straightened his clothes with a huff.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I shall return home where you shall not bother me," he hissed, turning around to head for the door.

"Aww, c'mon, Specs!" Prussia whined. "Stay! It's beer! You're Germanic, you can't say no to beer. Besides, I don't wanna have to find your sorry ass when you get lost again. So man up and stop acting like you've got a pole stuck up your ass!"

Germany sighed. His brother always went too far with his affections and always said a few dozen words too many. "Austria, just stay. I don't want to hear him whining. I'll pay for your drinks as compensation."

"Hey! I don't whine!"

Austria thought about it, weighing his options. While he didn't like to admit it, he did have a tendency to get lost easily, and Prussia would most likely find him just to drag him back to the bar. On the other hand…it was free beer. And as the albino said, he couldn't say no to beer.

"Very well," he relented.

Prussia whooped and quickly ushered the man to a stool next to Germany before he could change his mind, hopping onto the stool on Austria's other side.

"You know what we should do? We should totally have a drinking contest! Winner gets to do whatever he wants with the losers!" Prussia shouted.

"…" Germany said nothing, already resigned to the fact that he was going to get dragged into it one way or the other. Also, like Austria, he couldn't say no to beer.

"Why should I comply with such ridiculous foolishness?" Austria scoffed.

"'Cause if you don't," Prussia said mischievously, "I'll steal all your underwear! Kesesesesese…"

Austria sighed. He didn't want to have to buy new undergarments and it was too troublesome to chase down Prussia to force him to return them.

"Fine…"

"Alright, you heard 'im bartender. Hit us with a round!"

The bartender brought over three mugs, mentally calculating the costs of possible damage and whether the profit from the beer could cover it.

The other two sighed. Let the trouble begin.

Germany was the first to fold.

Shoving aside his empty mug with a slight hiccup, he laid his head down and closed his dazed and unfocused eyes, promptly ignoring his brother's loud protests and the equally loud buzzing in his ears.

"Hey, West!" Prussia yelled, shoving at the blonde's shoulder. "What the hell? You can't be done already! Wake up!"

"Don't you have anything cleaner, bartender?" Austria asked. "Mein Gott, these glasses are soiled…"

"Weeeessst!" Prussia whined as he poked Germany's flushed cheek. "Get up! We're only on our 127th beer!"

"Do be quiet, Prussia," Austria chided as he inspected his new mug. "Leave the poor boy alone."

"He's not a boy anymore! He's a man! West, beer flows in your very veins! Get up and drink more beer!"

Germany answered with a quiet snore.

"Fine, you loser! Yo, Specs, let's keep going!"

"Are you sure about that? You look a bit flushed."

"There is no way the awesome me will lose to a spoiled young master like you!"

A sigh.

"Very well."

He lost.

The great, almighty, awesome Prussia lost.

The albino dropped his head onto the bar, brain completely fried as he stared blankly at the wood in front of his eyes.

"Are you finished, Prussia?" Austria asked calmly, looking at the white head.

"…Shhhhuddup," Prussia slurred thickly after a few minutes, mind slowly processing Austria's words.

"Such lightweights," Austria said exasperatedly. "I barely got my…how do you say, 'buzz.'"

Getting no response from the usually exuberant Prussian, Austria gave an exasperated sigh and pulled out his cell phone. Dialing a number, he signaled the bartender for the check.

"Ciao! This is Veneziano, do you like pasta?"

"Italy, it's me."

"Ve, it's Mr. Austria!"

"Your boyfriend is unconscious. Come and pick him up."

"Germany? What happened?"

"He and Prussia got into a drinking contest with me."

Laughter ensued.

"Yes, yes, it's very funny. Now come over and pick him up."

"Okay! I'll be right there!"

A few minutes later, the door slammed open as an Italian blur zipped in.

"Germany! I'm here!"

The German shuddered as he sensed his impending doom.

"Wow, he's really out of it, isn't he?" Italy mused. "Ve, ciao, Mr. Austria!"

"Hallo," the brunet greeted. The Italian peered around his former guardian at the white head on the bar.

"Ve, looks like Prussia couldn't handle you either, could he? So, did you get anything out of it?"

"Apparently I get to do anything I want with them," Austria said. "So I'm giving Germany to you."

Italy opened his eyes, a sadistic glint in them. "Can I really have him?"

Austria waved his hand in dismissal. "It's his punishment for losing first. Just don't cripple him enough that he can't do his work."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Italy said innocently. Austria gave him a small glare.

"You can't fool me, Italien. Don't forget, I raised you. I know all about your perverted interests. While Germany may cover for you, he was never very good at hiding things from me."

Italy laughed. "It's his fault for not denying it when I told the Allies that he was into S&M, porn, and bestiality."

"I believe he was in shock."

"That and he can never deny me."

"No, I suppose not," Austria muttered. "Even when you were children, he could never deny you."

"Yeah," Italy said, eyes soft. "Even without his memories, he never changes."

Then, the sadistic gleam came back.

"He's always awkward and embarrassed and doesn't know what to do outside of work and war and he's very cute when he's all red and begging for my—"

"Ahem!" Austria interrupted. "I believe it is time for you to take Germany home."

"Okay!" Italy shook Germany awake. "Germany! Time to go home!"

Germany gave a low moan, mind dazed and sight blurry. Squinting at the blur in front of him, he slowly ran over what the familiar voice had said.

"Italien…?"

Italy shuddered at the huskiness of the German's voice. Licking his lips, he gave the rumpled blond a slow onceover.

"Come on, Germany," the brunet purred. "Let's go home."

"…" Germany quietly allowed Italy to help him up, leaning on the shorter male with an arm around his shoulders as Italy held him around the waist.

"Italy." The brunet looked at his former guardian. "I don't care if you take advantage of him, but don't overdo it."

Italy smirked.

"Whatever you say, papa."

Austria rolled his eyes, watching as the pair left the bar. He then turned to the snoring albino next to him and sighed, leaning over to shake him awake.

"G'way…" Prussia groaned.

"Prussia, get up," Austria huffed. When he got no response, he grabbed the other by the arm, heaving him up into the same hold Italy had used on Germany.

"Put the bill on Germany's tab," he instructed the bartender.

Silently nodding, the bartender watched them leave.

"Good luck," he muttered.

TBC

A/N: Lol, apparently it's true that Austrians can hold their liquor better than Germans (and Prussians). XD