Authors Note: Holy. I haven't written anything this long in what feels like years. There likely will be some mistakes in this, so if you notice some, please politely point them out. I'd appreciate it!
This was written for fe_fest on livejournal with the prompt being "Please remember me." I never expected to write something this long with such a simple prompt, but it's amazing what happens when you have ideas.
Pairing: Lucina x Janine (Female Avatar).
Warning: Spoilers. Read at your own risk. Also shoujo-ai, but that's obvious.
Memories
She had so many memories with her beloved, from good to bad, that it was painful when she whispered those three words. "Please remember me."
Tomorrow, everything would be decided. Whether they would stop Grima or they would fail, whether they returned home alive to their loved ones or they perished trying to save the future. It was the calm before the storm as there was a gentle breeze blowing throughout the camp. The stars glistened overhead and the moon cast her eternal glow over the many species and races that were on the earth.
Most of the army were spending time with their loved ones in their respective tents. No one was doing anything too intimidate with their significant other, instead deciding to spend their last precious moments together. None of them knew whether they would live or die, fighting against the fell dragon, so they took the opportunities they had now to spend time with that one person who meant more to them than life itself.
Their journey had been full of peril, hardships, and tragedies, but some were thankful for what had happened over the years. If anything, the one thing they were thankful for was that they had found their life companion through the wars and the constant battles that waited at their doorstep. Those who had bared children from the future were beyond happy that they had met their future child, but with great happiness came great sorrow as well. Often times, the children of the future would have found themselves in their parents' arms, sobbing how much they missed them and saying that they never wanted to be taken from them again.
Lucina had been one of those children who were guilty such a thing. She had fallen in her father's arms the moment he realized who she was, and she could have stayed that way for hours, but she knew that she had many things to worry about. No matter how ecstatic she was to be reunited with her father once more, the circumstances that allowed them to reunite were ones that the princess wished were not so dire. Her future, the future of all of the future children, was apocalyptic, to put it simply. Their parents had been slain and Grima was well on his way to destroying everything. It was only through Naga that they had been given this chance to stop the fell dragon, once and for all.
The last thing on the princess' mind when she had come from the future was to find love. She had to be skeptical of every person that had come in contact with her lord father because she knew that he had been killed by his closest friend. Those who were the closest to Chrom were eyed with the most caution. It was hard at times, not being able to trust a single person in the army that were supposed to be your allies, but all of this, Lucina did for the sake of preventing her dark, apocalyptic future from coming to pass.
However, there was one person that caught Lucina's attention the moment that she had spotted her. Her father's tactician, his best friend, was the one person that the young princess eyed with the most scrutiny as she was one of his closest, if not his closest, friend. The woman did her best to avoid any kind of confrontation with the tiny brunette as to not get close to her, but often times, the tactician (who Lucina learned was named Janine) would find herself stumbling over something and landing her face straight in the princess' breasts.
When it had first occurred, Lucina had done nothing but stare down at the tiny girl with her eyes wide and her mouth slightly ajar. Her father had stared at their tactician with an eyebrow raised in confusion, but the princess noticed that the lord had a small grin on his face and she could have sworn she heard him mumble "That's Janine for you" under his breath. Lissa and Maribelle had started giggling amongst themselves, while Lon'qu and Libra had shook their heads at their wives with their childish giggling. Janine, on the other hand, had pushed herself off the Lucina with her face beet red and began apologizing with frantic hand motions.
The princess remembered that she had found the action adorable, but she had quickly shaken her head to rid herself of the thoughts. 'I cannot form attachments.' she had stubbornly thought before placing a hand on the frail tactician's shoulder. "At ease, Janine." she had said which caused the brunette to stop her frantic hand motions and stare at the princess with her head tilted to the side. "It was a mistake. Everyone makes them."
The strategist had blinked a few times. Her dark brown eyes had looked relieved before she had taken Lucina's hand with a wide smile. "Thank you, princess! I'll try not to do such an embarrassing thing again!"
With that, she had taken off, leaving a slightly embarrassed Lucina to stare after her.
It seemed to be years ago when such a thing happened. Despite promising, Janine had tripped and landed her face in the princess' breasts a total of fifteen times (yes, Lucina had counted how many times it happened). Each time, the tiny tactician had become more upset and did her best to avoid Lucina for fear of embarrassing herself more. However, after fourteen times of reassuring the strategist that there was no need to be embarrassed, the princess had realized something. It was something that, at first, caused her to be shocked and flabbergasted at the same time.
'Could it be? Could I be… in love? No, I swore that I would not allow myself to fall for anyone. I have to focus on avoiding my dark future as best I can, not fall in love with someone, damn me!'
It was the fifteenth time that Janine had landed her face between her breasts that she had confessed, despite her mind screaming that she shouldn't do such a thing.
"Hello Lucina—ahhhhhh!" The princess had turned around in time for the tactician to do what Lucina expected her to do; land her face directly between her breasts. It had happened so many times that the princess was used to it, and found herself giggling as the brunette stayed there. Concern began to pass through her when she realized that Janine wasn't moving, but just as she was about to ask, the frail girl pushed herself off as her face began to heat up with a bright red flush. "Oh gods, Lucina, I'm sorry! I don't mean to keep landing in such an awkward place and oh Naga I'm so clumsy and—"
Lucina felt a smile tug at her lips as the tactician for their army began to apologize with those frantic hand motions and constant mumbles of "I'm so clumsy!". She watched the brunette with an amused glint in her eyes before she moved forward, taking the tactician's chin between her fingers. She almost giggled at the confused look Janine sent her as she leaned down and pressed her forehead against the strategist's. "Please, be at ease, Janine. You have nothing to apologize for."
The princess watched the younger girl's expressions as they went from confused to embarrassed when Lucina stroked the back of her cheek with her hand. The older girl let the smile stretch across her face as she continued to stroke Janine's cheek, and gods, was this what love felt like? Was this how her father felt when he fell in love with her mother? Was this why so many people in the army had sworn to be with their love for the rest of their lives? Lucina closed her eyes and let the ravaging emotions overtake her. She felt a strong urge to protect Janine from everything and everyone build in her chest, as well as the feeling of taking the tactician in her arms and taking her away for the rest of their lives. 'I swore to myself that I wouldn't find love while I was here, but it seems that even love has found her way to me.'
"Lucina?" Janine whispered, breaking the princess out of her thoughts. Dark brown eyes were staring at her and the strategist had taken Lucina's hand within her own. Her thumb had started idly stroking her hand, and it was a shock to the princess how much of an effect that one motion had on her. She felt her hand tingling where Janine was stroking it, so she grasped those tiny fingers within her own, flashing a tiny smile at the girl who now had her head tilted slightly to the side. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Lucina murmured, pulling the tiny tactician's hand over to her lips. The younger girl stared with a surprised expression on her face at first, but when the princess barely touched her lips to her hand, her face warmed and she began stuttering out of what Lucina assumed was embarrassment. At that, she couldn't help the giggles that escaped her as she pulled the tactician over. "Janine, has anyone ever told you that you're adorable?"
"A-Adorable?! Gods, no, I'm not—"
Her protest was effectively cut off when Lucina touched their lips together in one of the most innocent kisses that Janine had ever experienced. The princess tangled her fingers in her hair as her other arm wrapped itself around the strategist's waist, and Janine found herself lost in the bliss of it all as she wrapped her arms around Lucina's neck. The two stayed that way for a couple of minutes, the world seeming to stop and focus on the two of them. The tactician felt her face heat up with a dark flush as the princess touched her tongue against her own in the most innocent of ways, and hesitantly, she poked the organ back with a slight moan of embarrassment. Lucina smiled against the tiny girl's lips as she searched every corner and crevice of her newfound love's mouth, causing another moan to escape the tactician.
Once a need to breath became an issue, the two pulled away, both flushing and panting lightly as they tried to come down from the high that their kiss had given them. The princess laughed when she felt her new girlfriend bury her face in her breasts, and she poked her cheek. "Janine, love. You do realize that you're in my breasts again, don't you?" It took several seconds for tactician to realize what Lucina was saying, yet once she did, she tried to move away, but the princess kept her in place. "Silly girl, I don't want you to move."
"If you say so, Luci." Lucina heard Janine mumble, causing her to break out in a smile for the umpteenth time that day and wrap her arms around the smaller girl.
"I love you. And no matter what the future holds, I'm going to cherish every moment." the princess whispered into the strategist's hair, and she felt the girl laugh against her.
"I'll be by your side for the rest of my life. I promise, Luci."
So many things had happened since they had confessed their love for each other. It had been revealed that Janine was Validar's daughter, and she was at his mercy. She took the Fire Emblem from her father and gave it to him. After that, she tried to convince them to leave her behind, but her father, her dear father, would have none of it. He told her that they could reverse the damage, and reluctantly, her love had agreed with a tortured look on her face.
Lucina had made a decision that day to prevent her future from coming to pass. It had been one of the hardest decisions that she had ever made in her life. She had to strike down her beloved in order to prevent her father's death. It was obvious to her that his closest friend was Janine and that she was the one to end his life. She blinked back tears at the memory. No matter how many times the tactician had said there was nothing to forgive, the princess would be haunted by the memory of trying to strike down the girl who meant more to her than life itself.
The princess looked at her beloved with a sad gaze. Janine watched the sunset with a small smile on her face and a tortured look in her eyes. She looked peaceful that way, but also beautiful. The sun kissed her hair and her skin glowed under the light. Lucina shook her head as she approached the girl. It was now or never. The longer she stared at Janine's profile, the harder it was for her to imagine striking Falchion in her breast and ending her life.
"Beg pardon, Janine. Might I have a word?"
Janine's expression changed from peaceful to a bit surprised as her eyes looked over to stare into Lucina's own. "…Lucina. What is it?"
Lucina almost flinched at how emotionless Janine's voice sounded, but she pressed onwards. "It's about my father." At this, she swore that Janine flinched, but she continued. "I have memories of him, you know. From when I was little. "Before he…died."
The tactician's eyes had looked at the ground for several seconds before they looked up to stare at the princess once more. Lucina felt a pang in her chest at how pained those beautiful brown eyes looked as Janine murmured, "I see…"
"He was courageous, and kind, and everyone spoke fondly of him. People say that he was brave right up until the very end. I always yearned to know him better. And now that I do… I can see that the world will be robbed of a very great man. …I won't allow that to happen." The princess clenched her teeth at what she knew would happen next. She couldn't, she wouldn't, let Janine see how painful this was for her. She kept her expression blank as best she could, but it was hard when the tactician's eyes were filled with such pain and sorrow.
"I understand. You love him. …We all do." Janine whispered as the tiniest of smiles went across her face.
The tactician twirled a blade of grass between her fingers as she whispered those words, and the princess resisted the urge to take the smaller girl in her arms and kiss away all of the pain and sorrow she was feeling. However, she knew she could do no such thing. She had to do this. "Janine, I…" The brunette looked up at Lucina with a questioning gaze, and gods, it was even harder to do what she had to do when Janine looked so innocent. "Please, forgive me…"
She took out Falchion, pointing it directly over her beloved's heart. Janine's innocent, wide eyes went even wider in shock as she stared at the sword pointing at her and then at princess. "Lucina?!"
"Stay where you are, Janine!" Lucina did her best to make her voice sound harsh and cold, but it was hard looking into those eyes and seeing the expression painted within them. "I have no choice. I must kill you."
The tactician seemed to break out of her momentary shock at those words. Her eyes stared into the princess' own, and Lucina knew that she was trying to find something that would explain what was going on. 'The eyes are the window to the soul.' she once told her, so she knew that Janine was searching her eyes to read what she was truly thinking. 'Please, gods, let my eyes not show what emotions I'm feeling right now…'
"What?! What madness is this?!" the tactician exclaimed after several seconds. Her eyes had left Lucina's own and she was staring at her with her teeth clenched along with an expression on her face that the princess couldn't read.
"In my future, you…" the princess began, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again. "You are my father's murderer." Lucina felt her heart sink to the ground at the expression Janine wore at her words. She saw tears building in the corner of her eyes, and one trickled down her cheek. 'Oh gods, Janine. Please, don't cry. Please… It makes what I have to do that much harder!'
"No! That's insane! Why would I kill Chrom?!" the tactician managed to say after several seconds of silence passed, and she hastily wiped the back of her hand against her eyes. Despite no more tears falling, her eyes glistened with unshed ones.
The princess felt the strongest urge she ever felt in her life. She wanted to take Janine in her arms, comfort the smaller girl, and tell her that everything would be okay. Seeing her eyes glisten with unshed tears and the expression of pure misery on her face was the most painful thing that Lucina ever experienced. Despite that, she bit the inside of her cheek and continued to speak. "I was not certain myself, until now… I knew that he had been killed by his closest friend. Having witnessed your bond with him, I doubted it could be so… But today's events make it clear. You are at Validar's mercy. I suspect it's he who forces you to take my father's life, and very soon…"
A bizarre range of facial expressions passed over the strategist's face. First, there was shock. Second, realization. Third, misery. Fourth, a dark expression paired with sadness in her eyes. Lucina felt her own eyes widen when the final expression set itself on Janine's face. 'Why do you look that way? Have you accepted what I'm going to do…?"
"Lucina, wait."
"If my father is right, then we can change our fates. If this dark future is to be avoided, sacrifices must be made. I am sorry, Janine!" The princess saw that the tactician reached out to her for a moment before she seemed to decide against it and rest her hand at her side. All Lucina wanted at this moment was to forget everything and lose herself within the tactician's arms, but she had come too far to stop now. "I know this is murder, I…I know that…"
"Lucina, you don't have to—" Janine started to say, but the princess cut her off before she could finish.
"Don't make it harder! Don't resist, and your death will be swift and painless. If you hold any love for Chrom, then let this be done…"
It was at that statement that the tactician's facial expression went blank. Lucina was scared, no, terrified of the sudden blankness that had crossed her beloved's face. She knew that saying such a thing would strike home with the smaller girl, but why had her face suddenly drained of all emotions? She wanted to reach out to Janine, to replace that blank, almost dead expression with one of happiness, but she could do no such thing now. 'Janine… Say something!'
Silence passed between them for several more painful, agonizing seconds before Janine spoke. "Very well. My life is yours... It always has been."
The princess felt her eyes widen and her heart pang painfully in her chest at those words. The tactician stared at her with that once blank expression replaced with one of pure affection that Lucina felt her resolve falter to the point that she thought better of ending her tactician's life. However, all it took were the memories of her apocalyptic future for the princess to remember that she had to do this. "D-Don't look at me like that! I love you! Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?"
"I would give my life for Chrom." Janine stated simply as a small smile went across her face. "…And for you."
Another pang echoed in Lucina's chest at those words. She felt tears gather in her eyes, but she blinked them away, refusing to let them fall. She knew that if she did, Janine would rush to her side, whispering such sweet words that her resolve would falter completely. Despite her best efforts, the princess let out a slight dry sob at those sweet words her beloved said to her. 'Damn me! I can't let Janine see my weakness, I can't…'
"Just…promise me you'll find someone else who cares for you." At this, Lucina shot her head up, her eyes staring at the tiny tactician with her mouth slightly agape. "Promise you won't be alone… I want you to be happy, Lucina. That's all I've ever wanted."
The smile that Lucina adored so much crossed Janine's face once she finished saying those words, and she reached out, taking the princess' hand within her own. She did the action that she did all of those months ago. She stroked her thumb against Lucina's hand and stared at her with a loving expression in her eyes. It made what the princess had to do so much harder.
"N-No… Ah gods, no…" Lucina murmured, staring at the tiny hand that was lovingly caressing her own. She wanted to take that hand, press it against her face, and bury herself within the tactician, but she told herself the same thing that she said countless times now. 'I've come too far to back out now…'
"…I'm ready now. Do what you must." Janine whispered after a minute as she pulled her hand away from the princess'. She looked at Lucina with a smile on her face and her head tilted slightly.
That was Lucina's favorite stance of her beloved, and her resolve faltered all the more. Her hand felt cold once Janine pulled it away, and her mind wandered to thinking of having a life without that hand, without her. "I… I must…" The princess lowered her sword, clenching her teeth. She felt the tactician's eyes stare at her with a curious but grim look within them, and it was at that moment all of Lucina's resolve to do what she had to falter. "Damn me! I can't do it! I love you too much! I'm sorry, Janine! I'm s-so sorry! Please, forgive me!"
Within seconds, Lucina felt those arms that she missed so much envelop her. Janine was whispering something, but what she was saying was lost on the princess as she threw her arms around her tactician and buried her face within the smaller girl's neck. The tears that she had been holding back fell from her eyes, and once the first once fell, Janine started to rock the two of them from side to side while whispering words of comfort to Lucina.
The princess knew that Janine was at Validar's mercy. She knew that it would be easier to kill her to prevent her future than anything else. However, despite having knowledge of that fact, she knew that she would rather face the hardships than lose the girl that was holding her so lovingly.
Unbeknownst to Lucina, tears had begun falling from her eyes at the memory, so she was a bit startled when a familiar, tiny hand wiped against her eyes. "Lucina, what's wrong?" an all too familiar voice went along with the hand as it brushed against her eyes once more before resting on her cheek.
"J-Janine." the princess said with slight surprise in her voice as her eyes stared down into pools of concerned dark brown. "I'm sorry. I was thinking about the past."
At that, the tactician sighed before pulling the two of them to sit on the ground. Her small arms wrapped around Lucina's waist as she rested her head against the princess' supportive shoulder. "I told you that there was nothing to forgive you for. You thought that it was right to do that. All of us understood, love. You're the only one beating yourself up over it."
Lucina let out a quiet sigh as she enveloped her arms around the tiny tactician before resting her head against the other girl's. "I know I am, yet I—" She blinked when a finger was pressed against her lips and tilted her head in confusion when Janine shook her head. "Mm?"
"Shh. Nothing to forgive, Lucina." the tactician reassured once more as she stared out at the sky. "I wanted to tell you something, and don't try to stop me when I tell you, okay?"
The princess gave Janine a confused look, but despite not knowing what her girlfriend was going to tell her, she nodded. "I promise, just as long as you aren't planning to sacrifice yourself."
"…There's no other way." Janine murmured as she nuzzled her face against Lucina's neck. "What is one life weighed against millions, Lucina? I have to do this to ensure that your future never happens to our descendants."
"Janine, there has to be another way!" Lucina exclaimed, wrapping her arms tighter around the tiny tactician. "Don't you see? I can't lose you! I can't imagine my life without you. Please, don't do this."
A pained sigh escaped Janine as she buried herself deeper within the princess' warmth. "There is no other way, Lucina. All I ask is this one thing. Please remember me."
"I… I could never forget you, Janine. Never." Lucina closed her eyes painfully as she nuzzled her face against the tactician's cheek. "Let us be together for one more night. Think of it as creating memories…"
With tears in her eyes, Janine agreed as Lucina led her to her tent. Their night was spent with passion, making memories for the princess to remember the tactician by.
I know you won't forget me, Lucina. I may be jealous that someone else may steal your heart someday, but as long as you keep me there, I'll be happy.
Fin.