I was watching the preview for "Motherklok", and it made me both wonder what happened during the timeskip and just why nobody apparently went in search for the sunken pre-orders. Given that it's Dethklok's latest album and the in-universe fanbase are nuttier than fruitcakes, wouldn't someone have at least tried to find them?

This ficlet was born from those thoughts, and is my interpretation of them.

Originally posted at GearDQ (linked on my profile). I don't own Metalocalypse or any canon characters. #476 (who I portray weekly on the aforementioned site), #472369, #16372, and #4879234 are my own creations.

#476 peeled back her hood, gently rubbing sunscreen onto her normally-pale, now-well on its way to bright red face. She and her team had been shipbound for over a month, as they combed the ocean area they had been assigned for the missing album shipments. So far, they had turned up nothing. She dropped the hood back over her features, leaning over the side of the ship as one of her subordinates, #472369, came up out of the water. "Find anything?" She called. "The Commander's going to have our hides for uniforms if we turn up nothing again." "It's the damnedest thing, ma'am." #472369 replied. "They should be here, but we've scoured the entire area we were assigned. There's nothing." "Damnit." #476 sighed, one hand over her eyes. "Come on up, we'll trade places." "Yes ma'am."

Ten minutes later, #476, clad in scuba gear, descended into the water. There is no way those boxes can't be here. She thought to herself as she continued her downward descent. This is definitely one of the places the whirlpools popped up. She had enjoyed the aquatic scenery her first day of the dive. Now it was just work. As her feet touched the bottom, she saw the same familiar sight she'd been seeing for weeks: the hull of the shipping vessel that had been confirmed to have been sunk by the whirlpool. There was a large hole in one side, one that she had seen many times. She had compared notes with the other salvage overseers, and each ship they had found had the exact same kind of hole in the side: one that didn't look like it had been made by the ship sinking. In some cases, the hole was too clean. In others, like this one, it looked like it had been punched clean through by something large. They had observed drag marks at least once, though that trail had gone cold quickly. She swam inside, resting her hand on a rail. All that was left here were bones. Rest in peace.

The journey back up was uneventful. "Anything?" She heard #472369 call. "Nothing. As usual. Send #16372 and #4879234 down, we need to check every inch of the area. Again." She swung herself up onto the ladder, hauling her dripping body back onto the ship. Peeling the scuba gear off piece by piece, she left the ship's deck for the communications room. She sat down at the computer, accessing the records left by the other salvage overseers (all bad news, she noted) before entering her own. Salvage effort #5, Overseer #476 reporting. Returned from the wreck minutes ago. Fish-eaten graveyard. Am sure Master Nathan will like that as a song title. She chuckled, then continued typing. No sign of the drag marks we observed several weeks back, nor of the shipment. As I have reported prior, we followed the marks as far as they went with no results. Subordinates #16372 and #4879234 on dive now. Will report in if they find anything, though I have my doubts that they will. Whatever punched that hole in the ship and dragged off the shipment apparently has quite the hiding place. She saved her record of that dive, then slipped her hood over her head and left, awaiting the further bad news she was sure her subordinates would return with.