A/N: Okaaaaaaaaay, this is my first foray into Snape/Black-land, so review and let me know what you think, please

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and all subsequent characters. I ain't her. Therefore ... I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. Nope. Not even one. Doesn't seem quite fair, does it?

Sirius sat at the Gryffindor table, and laid his head down with a clunk. Remus sat next to him, laughing, as James plopped down opposite them. James took one look at the breakfast laid before them, and turned a delicate shade of green.

Remus laughed harder, saying, "I told you both not to drink that much fire whiskey last night. But no one ever listens to the Prefect."

A chubby boy came huffing up and sat next to James, saying, "Why didn't you wait for me?"

Sirius, without lifting his head, grabbed a piece of toast and threw it at Peter.

It bounced off his nose, and he yelped, "Oy! Stop it, Padfoot!"

James groaned and said, "Wormtail, please. My head feels like it's about to explode already."

Remus interjected, grabbing a piece of bacon, "Yeah, well, get used to it. We've got Potions first, and you know how Slughorn can blather on."

Sirius lifted his head and moaned, "Oh, Merlin. I'm going to skive off. I can't take his voice this early."

He started to rise, but Remus grabbed his sleeve, pulling him back down.

"You missed Potions already this week. We have exams coming up," Remus told his friend.

Sirius shrugged smoothly and said, "All he is doing is a review. I know all of it. Now, seriously, I need to go back to bed."

James said, "Wish I could join you, mate, but Lily will kill me if I miss."

Sirius rolled his eyes and said, "Prongs, you know I like Evans, but I think she's becoming a bad influence on you."

James chuckled weakly as the female in question walked up behind Sirius and said, "Are you talking about me again, Sirius? Because you are the worst influence."

She squeezed in between Peter and James, and gave her new boyfriend a peck on the cheek.

"Whew," she said, pulling back, "You reek! Did you keep drinking after I went to bed last night?"

Sirius, sensing that it was time to get gone, turned and walked as fast as his hung-over body would allow.

Still he heard Lily over the general noise, "James Potter!"

He snickered to himself, imagining the reaming that his best friend was receiving at the moment. He drug himself up the stairs, and was just headed for the hall with the portrait of the fat lady, when around a corner came Severus Snape.

Sirius sneered and said, "I knew I smelled something foul. Why are you up here greasing up my hallway, Snivellus?"

Severus's head flew up, and his eyes narrowed in hatred.

"I was looking for someone," he snarled, "And it certainly wasn't an arrogant git, so leave me alone."

Sirius snickered and said, "Most likely you were looking for Evans. Too bad she's off with my best mate and wants nothing more to do with you, eh? Though I really don't know why she ever hung around you to begin with. Probably out of pity."

Severus pulled out his wand, but Sirius was too quick for him. Severus's curse bounced harmlessly off Sirius's shield charm. He laughed at the rage that suffused Severus's face.

"Oh, Snivellus," he mocked, "You'll never learn. I'm just faster than you."

To prove his point, he threw a quick curse at Snape, which he couldn't dodge. Thick oil began to pour out of Severus's head. Sirius laughed heartily as Snape tried and failed once more to curse him back. But, as he snickered, his foot found the oil that was spreading across the floor. He went down, and Severus took the advantage to send a curse at Sirius that caused all his teeth to fall out.

Enraged, Sirius snarled, "Oh, you should not have done that, Snivellus."

Snape didn't seem to absorb the implied threat, as he was currently laughing at the slight lisp Sirius now spoke with. Just as they both raised their wands, Lily came running up.

"Stop it," she cried, "Both of you! What is wrong with you two that you have to degenerate into fighting children every time you see each other?"

Severus looked up at her, a fresh gleam in his eyes.

"Lily," he began quickly, a pleading note in his voice, but she cut across him.

"Severus," she said stiffly, going to help Sirius up, "Go to the hospital wing and get that mess cleaned up. And stop coming up here. You belong in the dungeons with the rest of the Slytherins."

"But, Lily, I need to speak with you," he said urgently.

"She told you to get lost, Snape," Sirius said, "So do it."

Snape opened his mouth once more, then closed it again, and scowled horribly at Sirius, then spun on his heel, slipping his way down the hall, gripping at the wall to keep from falling. Sirius jeered, until Lily lost her footing and landed with her elbow squarely across his abdomen.

"Uh," he groaned, "Lily, damn it, that hurt."

"Well," she said huffily, "If you hadn't made damned grease pour all over the place this wouldn't have happened. You just can't leave him alone can you? Oh goodness, where are your teeth?"

Sirius said sarcastically, "Your poor abused friend cursed them out. You know, because I'm such a horrible bully."

"Yes, well," she said, not impressed, "I'm sure you started this. He may be a slimy ass, but he never starts a duel with you or James. Now come on, let's get you to the Hospital wing."

Sliding, and losing their footing many times along the way, they made their way, and Lily left him in the care of Madame Pomfrey. He sat in a bed, across from Severus and Madame Pomfrey. She had already stopped the flow of oil, and was now using her wand to siphon all of it off his body, clothes, and eventually the floor. Sirius sniggered silently the whole time, his toothless smile flashing at Severus's glower.

Madame Pomfrey turned to his bed, and noticed his mirth. She shook her head at him.

"I wouldn't be laughing, young man," she said, a wry smile on her face, "It looks like he gave as good as he got."

Severus curled his lip into a smile, and Sirius took his turn to scowl. She opened his mouth and peered in for a few minutes, then scurried off to her supply cabinet muttering to herself about reckless fools dueling in the halls. Sirius took the chance to throw his pillow at Severus, who caught it easily and used it to prop himself up, smiling in mock gratitude.

Sirius snarled, "Don't start looking too pleased with yourself, Snivellie. I'll catch you alone again soon."

Severus answered, "I look forward to it, Black."

Just then Madame Pomfrey came back, carrying a glass full of a foul-smelling potion. She administered it to Sirius, who choked it down without a blink. He wouldn't give Severus the pleasure of grimacing at the fetid taste.

"Now," Madame Pomfrey said, "Black, you need to stay here until your teeth grow back. Plan on staying overnight. Snape, you are free to go."

"No, he is not," came a ringing voice from the doorway.

Severus and Sirius turned to see Professor McGonagall striding into the room, her face stony.

"Twenty points from each of your houses," she stated, "And two nights detention. I just do not understand why you two insist on antagonizing each other. This punishment will double every time you young men bring harm to each other, from now on."

Sirius groaned, and Severus sneered, which didn't escape the Professor's attention.

"I assure you I am serious," she said sharply, "And Mr. Snape, Professor Slughorn has already agreed to this penalty. Your detentions will be served together, tomorrow night. Meet me in the foyer that leads to the dungeons."

She spun on her heel and marched out of the room. Sirius huffed out a sigh and flung himself back on the bed, wishing he had his pillow. Snape grit his teeth and stood.

"Just wait, Black," he ground out, "You will regret this."

"Oh, I already do," Sirius called to Severus's retreating form, "I have to spend tomorrow night with you. That's entirely regrettable."