"The Indies First Time Writer Challenge" One-Shot Contest

Title: The Corner of Your Heart
Pen name: TheHeartOfLifeIsGood
Primary Players: Rosalie and Edward
Rating: M
Word Count: 6,602
Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine.


Epiphanies are sneaky things. You think you have it all figured out, that your life is exactly as it should be. Everything is smooth, working like clockwork. And then that clock stops. Or maybe it moves backwards suddenly. Whatever the metaphor, there is that one moment, that one second, when everything becomes clear. You realize you had nothing figured out at all, not until that very instant.

And you never saw it coming. But I guess that's how epiphanies work.

Mine came two months, three weeks, and four days ago when Edward Cullen walked into the cafeteria with Bella Swan. My eyes were drawn immediately to their entwined fingers. The shock hit me like a slap. I was frozen, my mind sputtering in confusion while I tried to understand what was happening. The sight of him holding hands with someone was so foreign to me, and I watched, stupefied, as they weaved around tables to get to us. His eyes rarely left her face.

They sat down across the table from me and chatted easily with Alice and Jasper while I sat silently, gaping at them. I noticed everything. His hand snaked across the back of her chair, playing with the ends of her hair. Her affectionate glances at him while they laughed at Jasper's re-telling of his half-baked attempt to sneak into Forks' community pool the Saturday night before. It seemed almost as if they were communicating silently, they were so in tune with one another. He would raise an eyebrow and she'd nod or shrug. When they laughed, it was always together with heads tilted toward each other, their bodies touching at the shoulders, the thighs, the knees. He gazed down at her with such naked emotion that I had to press my fingers against my sternum to stave off the ache spreading across my chest. It taunted me, the way he looked at her and the way she touched him, so intimately.

The realization finally crested like a violent wave. Edward was in love. Edward was hers.

When did this happen? I screamed silently, staring at him as he gazed at her.I knew they'd been hanging out a lot, sure, but I'd chalked it up to him wanting some female companionship outside of Alice and me. Hell, even I got tired of us.

But this? I'd never expected this. And at first I didn't understand why it hurt so much.

Edward and I had been friends since kindergarten. Our childhoods were inextricably woven together, our memories and experiences shared. As snot-nosed kids, he always shared half of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich with me. I always let him huff the scent out of my Magic Markers and laughed at him when he got it on his nose. I knew he was a sucker for the grape one, so I kept it set aside for him whenever my dad bought me a new set. I punched Mike Newton in the mouth when he pushed Edward off the monkey bars during recess in fourth grade. And then Edward punched Mike in the mouth when he tried to grab my boob during a Halloween party in ninth.

We'd been there for each other, had fought and laughed and cried together. We'd been one of the most important people in the others' lives, and I hadn't ever thought to prepare for the day when that would no longer be the case.

I certainly hadn't steeled myself for the drowning sense of loss I felt when Edward leaned over that day and kissed Bella, so softly, and then smiled over at me. He was happy, maybe the happiest I'd ever seen him, and I hated how miserable that made me feel.

It was so simple, though, wasn't it? I was in love with him. And I hadn't figured it out until he decided to love someone else.

The memory of that day flooded back to me now as I pushed through the cafeteria doors. I blinked fiercely, shaking my head until the memories dropped back into the deepest recesses of my mind. I'd worked so hard to push all of those feelings away, to act normal and carefree, to pretend like it didn't matter.

Only it did matter, and it hurt. I'd had to distance myself, just a little, though I doubted he noticed. He was too engrossed in Bella. They'd been spending all their free time together, leaving me as the proverbial third wheel on Alice and Jasper's little love moped.

At that thought, my eyes inadvertently traveled to a particularly raucous table in the middle of the crowded room, and I saw Emmett McCarty in the center of it all, his booming laugh carrying over the yells of his football teammates. His gaze met mine, and he kept talking but gave me a wide smile as bright as the sun. I could feel the warm rays of it from across the room. I grinned back and grew a little wistful thinking of the way his thigh grazed mine the other day on my couch while we were watching TV. It was innocent, but there was an undercurrent of something else. He would give me more if I asked for it. It would be so easy.

I'd thought about it, caught up in the feeling of being wanted, of being looked at by someone who thought I was beautiful. But I didn't want to lead him on, not when my heart was in the wrong place.

"Rosalie!"

I started at Alice's skull-rattling bellow and turned to see her halfway out of her chair, beckoning me over. For such a small person, she sure had some pipes on her.

With one last glance in Emmett's direction, I strode over to the table and plopped down into the chair next to Edward unceremoniously. Jasper raised his hand in a lazy wave.

"Welcome," Alice said, her gray eyes flashing with amusement as she gestured to their table expansively. "Thanks so much for joining us."

My eyes narrowed at her, and she grinned, looking sideways at Emmett's table pointedly. Goddamn Alice and her spidey senses. I'd been careful not to draw notice to the attention Emmett had been paying me for the last week or two. It made my life easier not to. The last thing I'd needed was my gossip-mongering best friend catching wind of the damn thing when it wasn't even technically a thing. I should've known she would figure it out on her own. Alice was too observant for her own good. Or actually, for my own good.

I glanced at Edward out of the corner of my eye. He was typing intently on his phone. Did he know? And why should I care if he did? He was with Bella. It's not like he'd care that I was maybe, possibly interested in someone.

Speaking of Bella, where was she? The chair next to him was conspicuously empty.

"Where's your other half?" I asked, jutting my chin towards the chair.

Edward's eyes snapped up from the screen, and he stared at me for a second, looking disoriented. He hadn't even noticed I was here. "Huh? Oh, Bella? She's visiting her mom in Florida for the weekend."

"Yeah, and he's been moping all damn morning," Jasper said around a mouthful of food. He reached over to smack Edward on the back. "It's only a couple days, man, you'll survive."

"Says the guy who was practically fucking comatose when his girlfriend went to Seattle for the weekend," Edward shot back with a glare.

"Aww, Jazz," Alice cooed, running her hand up and down his arm.

Jasper placed his hand over hers. "Dude, that was for four days. Bella will be back Sunday morning."

"Yeah, but she's across the country. Distance is worth more than time in these situations."

"Oh, for God's sake," I muttered, pulling my lunch bag out of my backpack. I always felt especially single when they started talking about shit like this.

"How did you poor bastards ever survive before Bella and I?" Alice asked with a wink in my direction. I rolled my eyes and popped the tab on my Coke.

Jasper leaned over and kissed the top of her head, then grinned indulgently down at her. "I was living in a shroud of darkness, baby."

"More like a cloud of weed," Edward muttered. He glanced down at his beeping phone, missing Jasper's middle fingered response.

I watched a soft smile spread across his face as his eyes darted back and forth while he read. His fingers worked lithely over the keys, that grin twitching on his lips.

Only one thing made him smile like that. One person. Even when Bella was gone, she was with him.

Swallowing hard, I reached into my lunch bag and pulled out the sandwich my mom made for me this morning. Usually I made my own lunch - the school's provided ones were close to inedible. I'd overslept this morning, though, and begged her to help me out so I could curl my hair.

I should have known what would be in there, given her limited cooking capabilities.

Peanut butter and jelly. Of course.

"Guess what?"

Edward looked over, finally peeling his eyes away from that damn phone and stared for a beat at the baggie dangling between my fingers.

I thought for one breathless moment that he wouldn't remember. I worried, as I watched him look at that stupid sandwich, that this memory was lost and forgotten. It occurred to me then that new memories with Bella were replacing these old, dusty ones with me. Who gave a fuck about a half-smashed peanut butter and jelly sandwich anyway?

But then one side of his mouth curved into a wide grin and acknowledgement dawned in his eyes, and my heart started beating again. As stupid as it was, I gave a fuck about a half-smashed sandwich. And it mattered to me that he remembered this inconsequential thing.

If I had felt warmth when Emmett smiled at me, it was nothing compared to the blazing heat I felt under Edward's gaze.

"Why are you two smiling like jackasses over that sandwich?" Jasper asked.

"It's an old Hale-Cullen tradition," Edward replied, still flickering his gaze between the sandwich and me. His eyes were bright. "Man, I haven't had one of those in so long."

I pulled out half and held it out to him. "Want to split?"

He nodded and took it, stuffing half of it in his mouth. I licked a glob of jelly from my thumb and looked over at Alice, who was watching the exchange with a small smile.

"This is delicious," Edward murmured through his mouthful of food, popping the rest of it in his mouth. I beamed under his praise as if I had slaved over it myself. Jasper was eyeing my other half curiously.

"Ugh, Jazz," Alice said suddenly, turning to him as she smacked the palm of her hand against her forehead. "Remember, you promised me you'd help me with my history homework?"

He frowned, one eye still on my sandwich. "I did?"

She stood, gathering up their bags. "You did, and if I don't get an A in this class I'm totally dead. Can we go to the library before class?"

"Okay," he drawled, looking baffled. He was probably high when he made that promise. He stood as well, draping the strap of his messenger bag over his broad shoulder. Alice danced impatiently next to him, checking her watch.

"Tomorrow you and I have an appointment with the hoops," Jasper intoned, pointing a finger at Edward. Alice mouthed, mall? I shrugged and nodded.

Edward had polished off his half of the sandwich and moved onto mine. I smacked at his hand but he brushed it away, cramming the sandwich into his mouth as he looked up at Jasper. "Duly noted."

With one last frown at an impishly grinning Edward, I watched Alice and Jasper leave, his arm stretched lazily across her slight shoulders. She glanced back at me and winked, and I narrowed my eyes in confusion, but before I could fully process it and respond accordingly, they were gone.

It dawned on me as the doors to the cafeteria whooshed closed in their wake that she was granting me alone time with Edward. Apparently she'd been paying attention when I'd whined about not spending any time with him lately, at least not outside of school, and certainly not just the two of us. She wasn't aware of my feelings for him – she couldn't be, I'd been so careful – but it was still a reminder that I needed to watch myself, especially with her. She was too perceptive, almost scarily so, and all it would take is one misstep for my feelings to reveal themselves.

Besides, she may be my best friend, but I knew she really liked Bella and it would probably make it weird for her. God, it was weird for me.

Edward nudged my shoulder with his, and I turned to him, shaking off my thoughts. His face was close to mine, so close that I could see the shadow of stubble above the cupid's bow of his lip. "I have a proposition for you."

"Well, that sounds ominous."

"Ominous?" he repeated, his brow furrowed in confusion.

I gave him a pointed look. "How many of your stupid ideas have started with 'I have a proposition'? Half the scars on my body are the result of Jasper's and your crazy schemes."

He groaned and blew out a gust of air impatiently. "Two scars, Rose, two. You're really never going to let that die, are you?"

"I almost died!" I exclaimed, thinking of two summers ago when Jasper and Edward had somehow talked Alice and me into going biking with them, describing it as a 'gentle ride through the wilderness.' All Jasper had to do was drop the word 'romantic' and Alice was in. I'd been a little harder to convince but after some shameless taunting from Edward I conceded.

Either they didn't realize how wild the terrain was or they straight up lied to us because gentle ride my ass. Still, I didn't want to admit that it was tougher than I anticipated so when Edward challenged me to a race, I seized the opportunity to beat him, scary trail be damned. He was shit-talking me the entire time, and the determination to win coupled with my concentrated effort to come up with new and inventive names to call him led to one wrong turn down a small, steep embankment.

Long story short, I went tumbling ass over tits and got cut up pretty badly, inheriting a couple of scars. On a positive note, I got mileage out of the whole thing for weeks. Edward looked like he wanted to cry every time he saw me he was so riddled with guilt. I may have extended my limp for a little longer than necessary, but that's neither here nor there.

"You did not almost die, you drama queen," he muttered, interrupting my 'gentle ride' down memory lane.

"Right, that's why you were nearly in tears when you finally got down to me," I scoffed, remembering the look of abject terror on his face as he slid down the hill to me. It would have been hilarious if I hadn't been terrified myself.

"I thought you were . . ." he stopped, waving his hand in the air impatiently, though I could have sworn a flicker of pain flashed in his eyes. "Listen, Hale, do you want to hang out after school or not?"

"Hang out?" I repeated, lost. "When did –"

He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, eyes narrowed. "If you hadn't gone off on your tangent, I would've gotten to that."

My pulse sped up instantly. Him. Me. Alone. The thought made me dizzy and euphoric.

I swallowed hard, mentally scanning my schedule. "Um, I can't. I have dance team practice."

"Okay, after that?" he pressed, his eyes intent on my face. "Do you know how long it's been since we've hung out?"

Two months, three weeks, and four days. But who was counting, right? Certainly not him.

And whose fault was that, anyway? I mean, Jesus, he spent every waking moment with Bella and only now that she was out of town he had time for me? My hands balled into fists underneath the table. I wanted to say no, just to spite him. I wanted to throw my Coke in his face and tell him to go fuck himself, or go fuck Bella, or whatever it was they did when they were alone.

That was my brain talking, though, and unfortunately when it came to Edward Cullen, my heart had all the power. That traitorous little organ pounding fiercely against my ribs wanted to say yes. It beat out the rhythm of the word and echoed it in my head like a battle cry. It didn't care that he was completely oblivious to the heartache he'd been causing me these past couple of months. It just wanted to be near him in any capacity, even as the runner-up, which I obviously was. I was almost masochistic in that way, I guess, because the pain of being near him was not as unbearable as the certain agony of not. So my brain and heart fought it out as he waited for my answer, pride versus desire. I wasn't surprised at all to discover which one was victorious.

Exhaling sharply as the last piece of resistance fell, I opened my mouth to speak. He got there first.

"What, do you have plans later?" His eyes flickered over my shoulder, and I turned to see what he was looking at. He was too fast, though. His gaze was back on me, expectant and anticipating.

"No," I replied finally with a weary sigh. "I'm all yours."

"Jesus, sound excited about it," he laughed.

You have no idea, I thought, looking down at my hands, still fisted in my lap.

The warning bell rang then, and Edward reached over to sweep my trash onto his tray. We both stood and started walking toward the exit, our strides perfectly synched.

"Should I call you before I come over?" I asked, waiting as he ditched his garbage and tray.

He adjusted the straps of his backpack, the muscles in his forearms flexing slightly with the effort. A lock of hair curled over his forehead and I stuffed my hands into my pockets to keep from brushing it away. We made our way out into the hallway swarming with students rushing to get to their next class. I stopped, arching a questioning eyebrow at him.

He shook his head. "Just come over when you're done. I'll be waiting for you."

I winced inwardly as his choice of words. "Right."

"So, later?" He said, walking backward slowly. Our classrooms were in opposite directions, so I started drifting backward too, reluctantly.

"Later," I promised.

A crooked grin quirked on his lips, a devastatingly sexy move that went straight to the base of my spine and zipped down to my knees, weakening them instantly.

"Try not to be late, okay? I know how your internal clock works."

I bobbed my knees slightly to shake out the weakness, still moving away from him. If it were up to me, I'd blow off dance practice and spend every waking moment with him until Bella came back.

He couldn't know that, though, so I simply rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, yeah. I'll see you later."

He gave me one final smile and, God help me, a wink and then plunged into the fray, his perma-windblown head of hair bobbing above nearly everyone else's. I watched him until he disappeared.

With a sigh, I headed down the hall toward my next class, trying to ignore the anticipation building in my chest. In a few short hours we would be together, alone, for the first time in a long time. My heart sang at the thought.

Right now, second-best felt okay. It felt like the only way.

I knew I was setting myself up for heartbreak, yet I barreled towards it willingly. I was just torturing myself with all of this. It was obvious that if Bella were here, we wouldn't have made those plans. He would be with her; of course he would. My brain knew that. But my idiot heart failed to recognize it, and so despite that knowledge, I'd see him tonight. I'd continue to be his trusty best friend, the platonic stand-in while the girl he loved was away.

I just hoped I could keep it together.

* * * * *

I was still troubled later that night as Edward and I sat in his backyard. Loosened by the effects of the joint pinched between my fingers and weighed down by my still-churning thoughts, I exhaled a cloud of smoke in a long sigh. I gazed over at him, tracing the strong curve of his jaw with my eyes.

"Have you ever thought about how easy it is for us to hurt each other?"

He looked over at me, his green eyes surprisingly distinguishable and sharp against the blackness. "What?"

"People," I clarified, my heart hammering in my chest. Shit, I had almost slipped. "In general, the human race. We're all so breakable, aren't we? But we act like we're indestructible. We just…we just go around ruining each other."

There was a long pause, and I kept my eyes focused on the burning end of the joint. "Rosalie Lillian Hale, you're high as a fucking kite."

"Whose fault is that, Edward Anthony Cullen?" I retorted, finally meeting his gaze. Who did he think he was, pulling out my middle name like he was my guilt-tripping mother?

He reached over to snatch the joint from me and unfolded his lean body back onto the grass. We were just out of reach of the porch light, blanketed in darkness, and I watched the end of the joint flare into bright red brilliance as he inhaled deeply.

"We'll blame it on Jasper. He's the one who gave this to me," he coughed. Smoke billowed out of his mouth, and he sucked some back in, pulling it into his lungs.

I fell back next to him, my hair brushing his shoulder. Our arms were a mere inch apart. My pinky rested next to his, and I heard him inhale again, sharply. There were no sparks igniting this time, at least not from the joint.

"He is an excellent scapegoat," I conceded. I rested my hand, palm up, on his stomach, and we were silent as we stared up at the sky. The stars winked down at me, like they were in on some secret.

"What made you think of that?"

I turned my head, frowning. "Huh?"

"The, uh, breakable thing," Edward replied. He turned his head, too, and our noses grazed for a millisecond before he pulled back, laughing nervously. "What, Hale, you've forgotten your philosophical rant already?"

Right. Philosophical.

"I don't know, I was just thinking…" My words hung in the air, unfinished.

Yeah, I was thinking all right. I seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

I was once again thinking about him, how fragile and utterly destructible he made me feel. I was thinking about being out here with him and how right it was, how easy. How I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world unless he went there, too. I was thinking about how he loved someone else and how I had to watch it happen, had to watch him hold Bella's hand instead of mine. I felt my chest cracking open every time he leaned in to kiss her. All of the oxygen would leave my body when he looked at her, his eyes lit up and tender. He looked at no one else in that way, and he never had. God knows he never looked at me that way.

He could easily ruin me. He probably would, and he would never have a clue. I would hide it all inside my breaking heart because I couldn't stand hurting him, and I certainly couldn't lose him.

So let him think my statement was philosophical or theoretical or any other –etical descriptor. It was safer that way.

I sighed. Jesus, I got morose when I smoked. No wonder I cut back.

"Don't strain yourself, Rose," Edward teased, breaking me out of my reverie. I closed my hand into a fist and punched him lightly in the stomach. He let out a laughing grunt and put his large warm hand over mine. I stilled it immediately, the all-too-familiar electricity buzzing up my arm. His thumb traced lazily over my knuckles.

"You're a dickhead," I sniped. "You shouldn't prey on the stoned."

"Well, Christ, when am I going to have my way with you then?"

He meant it innocently, but it still made my stomach dip. All these goddamn accidental innuendos were going to kill me. "Give me a break, Cullen, like I'm the pothead? You know I'm only smoking because this is a special occasion."

He turned his head again and a lock of that stupid errant hair of his brushed against my temple. "And what's the special occasion?"

I gave him an incredulous look. "Gosh, I don't know. I'm actually hanging out with you for the first time in months?"

"Oh, so you want to spend it under the haze of illegal drugs." I kicked him in the ankle, and he swung his legs out of my reach, my hand still grasped in his. A crooked smile bloomed on his face. "No, no, I get it. I'm not cool enough for sober Rosalie Hale anymore. You're hanging with the football players now."

I groaned. So he had heard about Emmett, or maybe he saw our brief interaction in the cafeteria. He hadn't mentioned it, and Edward hardly ever passed up an opportunity to tease me about the guys I might be interested in, but now it was all so clear. He was just waiting for the perfect time to pounce.

"I don't want to talk about that with you, Edward."

"What? Why not?" He was donning his wounded animal voice. Laying it on thick. I knew he was just digging for dirt so he could go all first grade on me and sing "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" or something.

"Because it's weird. It's like talking to my dad about sex or something."

"Are you being safe?"

"Edward!" I yelled, covering my face with my hands. It took me a minute to realize that he was silent, and I peeked through my fingers to see him shaking with laughter. His eyes were crinkled at the corners and twinkled mirthfully. I pounded his arm, hard. "Fuck you."

"Don't you mean fuck Emmett?" he snorted.

"Excuse me, you jackass, I do not move that fast. He hasn't even asked me out on a date yet."

"You've hung out, though." His laughter trailed off, and though his voice was still thick with it, he was looking at me intently. His hand cradled his face as he lay on his side. My fingers twitched with the urge to replace his hand with mine.

"So, what, I sleep with every guy I hang out with? And who's telling you this crap, anyway?"

Edward narrowed his eyes and plucked a blade of grass from my hair, flicking it at me. I rolled my eyes. "First of all, I wasn't trying to say you fuck every guy you hang out with, so get that little scrap of fabric you call underwear out of a bunch."

"How do you know what my under –"

"Second of all, Jasper said Emmett told him he dropped you off at home the other day, and you guys chilled for awhile."

"Jesus, you two gossip like old hags," I said, rolling onto my side so that we were face to face. I mirrored his position, resting my cheek against my palm.

One side of his mouth dragged upward. "I have to keep track of you somehow."

"Here's a crazy thought - how about just asking me?" I suggested.

"Because you're weird about it!" He exclaimed. "Admittedly, too. You always get cagey when I try to talk to you about guys."

"It is weird," I mumbled.

"It's weird for me, too."

I snorted incredulously. "What? You love hearing about this shit. You get days'-worth of lame jokes out of it."

He shifted uncomfortably and sighed. His breath, sweet with the scent of pot, washed over me. "I don't love hearing about it, Rose. It makes me a little uncomfortable, to be honest. I…I don't like sharing you with other guys. I just make jokes because it alleviates some of the weirdness. Well, and because I like pissing you off."

I stared at him, my mouth hanging open. "Wha – wha –"

He mistook my shocked silence for anger. "I know, it's totally selfish, I'm a bastard, etcetera." His hand raked through his hair and then balled into a fist as he reached the ends. "It's just that we've been friends for so long, you know? I'm really used to having you to myself. It's going to take some getting used to, when you settle down with someone."

His words were like a knife to my vulnerable, hopeful heart. It was fucking with my already hazy head, giving that delusional part of me a small sliver of hope. I shoved it down fiercely. I would kill it if I could, revel in its last gasping breath.

"How do you think I feel?" I asked, pulling a blade of grass and spinning it between my fingers.

"What, with Bella?" He sounded genuinely confused. God, this man was completely blind, wasn't he? Couldn't he see that if he felt that way, surely I did, too? Even without the knowledge that I was in love with him, he had to know it was hard for me to lose him to her.

"No, with Jessica Alba. Yes, with Bella."

His eyes bored into mine. "Is that how you feel?"

"Like I've lost you?" I clarified. He nodded, and I watched as his hand drifted from his side to mine, hovering over my hip as if looking to land there. I swallowed my disappointment when it rested in the grass between us instead. "Yeah, I feel that way a little bit. Of course I do. But I understand it, I guess. Bella's your priority now."

"You're a priority, too," he argued weakly.

I shook my head. I didn't want to hear that. My heart couldn't bear it, even knowing he didn't mean it in a romantic way. "Edward, it's fine. She's your girlfriend, you love her. It's okay to want to be with her all the time."

But it kills me that it's her instead of me, I wanted to say. It was painful, not saying these words that pressed against my lungs and crowded my throat.

"I wish you would have told me you felt that way," he murmured. "I never want to make you feel like you aren't important to me."

"I know I'm important to you, Edward, don't be stupid," I said with a little growl. This was too hard, hearing him say all of these things I dreamed of him saying. Only it was in the wrong context. I was the wrong girl.

"I just want you to be happy," he continued. His low voice was a gentle caress in the darkness of the night.

My teeth clamped down on my lip so that it wouldn't shake.

He wanted me to be happy. In so many ways, he was my happiness, and yet he couldn't possibly be. I knew I had to find love some other way, with some other guy, but it felt so impossible right now. My heart raced for him. My skin ignited under his touch alone. I belonged to him, but he wasn't willing to claim me.

And most importantly, he wasn't mine. He never would be.

I willed the lump in my throat to dissolve before I spoke. "I am happy."

"Good. You deserve it, Rose, more than anyone," he said, a fond grin spreading across his face. I watched the corner of his mouth as it pulled up until it was curved into a perfectly asymmetrical smile. Did Bella notice these small things? Did she ever kiss the freckle just below his ear, the way I had always wanted to? A part of me hoped she did. At least one of us could fulfill the longing that twisted my stomach.

I realized suddenly that any hopes I had of keeping it together were slipping through my fingers.

"I need to go," I blurted. I sat up quickly and then groaned as I placed my hands against my spinning head.

"Are you okay?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, resting my forehead against my knees. Warm fingers drifted down my naked spine. I both cursed and applauded myself for wearing a top with a low back.

"No, you got me fucking stoned, Cullen," I laughed weakly.

"Look at me."

My eyes fluttered open and my head rose at his demand. I felt his finger underneath my chin, directing me toward him. Our gazes locked, and I swear I saw his eyes flicker down to my mouth, but I was high and probably hallucinating.

Still. I could do it, just kiss him. I could blame it on the weed if he freaked out, right? I could just see…

I licked my lips. My body was curving in on itself, it wanted him so badly.

No, my mind screamed. Don't ruin this. Don't let him ruin you.

"Are you okay?" he repeated, slowly. His voice sounded like honey in my clouded mind.

"Yes."

"I'm not going to let you drive home," he said.

Fuck. My car was here. How was I going to get home?

"Alice," I uttered, out of habit. I said it before my poor brain had a chance to catch up. "Alice is across the street."

He laughed. "I know where Alice is."

"I'll sleep at her house. Her parents are in Paris for the week."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Uh, are you sure Jasper's not over there?"

Fuck again.

Oh Jesus, who cared? I needed to get the hell out of Dodge before I did irrevocable damage to my friendship with him. Not to mention before he did irrevocable damage to me. If that meant walking in on Jasper doing my best friend doggy style on the dining room table, so be it.

"It's okay," I said, scrambling to stand up as gracefully as possible in my skirt. "It's not like I'm going over there looking for a slumber party."

He nodded slowly. The joint was starting to hit him, I could tell. "Okay. Well, my guest room is free if you change your mind."

I dusted off my skirt and gave him my best Rosalie-Hale-Is-Fine-And-Totally-Not-In-Love-With-You smile. "Great. Maybe we can braid each other's hair and tell ghost stories."

"You're such a shit," he laughed.

"Yeah, love you, too," I said, flippant attitude firmly in place. I could do this.

With a carefully casual wave, I started toward the gate.

"I do, you know."

His voice drifted on the slight breeze and those words hit me square in the back, so that I stumbled over my own feet. I stopped but didn't turn around. My eyes focused on the gate of his wooden fence.

"You do what?" I said, but it came out as a whisper. I cleared my throat and said it again.

"Rosie?"

I closed my eyes and bowed my head. He hadn't called me that in years, not since we were little and his brief flirtation with a speech impediment prevented him from enunciating my full name.

I looked over my shoulder against my better judgment. He was watching me, his elbows resting on his propped-up knees. His hair was crazy, slightly matted down on one side from lying in the grass, sticking up in every direction otherwise. He had scooted partway into the spotlight of the porch light, and I could see half of his chiseled face, the masculine curve of his jaw.

"I love you," he said. "I know we never say it, but I do."

I could feel the tickle in my nose, the moisture stinging my eyes. I felt like I was choking, my throat was so tight.

We'd never said those words, though it was implicitly known, and he had chosen this night, this moment to break them out? When I was already feeling so vulnerable and cut open? When it was taking everything, everything in me not to throw myself at his feet and beg him to love me too, and not in the friend way but in the 'as long as we both shall live' way?

My chin trembled, and it took me a minute to gather myself. I could hear his steady breath mingling with the gentle chirp of the crickets hiding in Esme's perfectly groomed garden.

"You sure are a maudlin fucker when you smoke," I finally choked out. I coughed to cover the obvious thickness in my voice.

He chuckled. "It's either that or you're just being particularly charming tonight."

I rolled my eyes and turned on my heel, arms akimbo, smile back in place. He grinned up at me hazily. "Good night, Cullen, you insufferable jackass."

"Good night, Hale."

The smile dropped as soon as I turned and started striding toward the gate again. The tears were already gathering. My chest felt solid, so heavy.

"Rosalie?"

Oh, God Jesus.

"What?" I snapped, my hand hovering over the gate latch. I was far enough away now that he wouldn't notice the solitary tear streaking down my cheek. His body was hunched, and he almost looked small, vulnerable.

"You, uh, you didn't say it back."

And to think, I had almost made it out with my heart and dignity intact.

"I love you, too," I said. It was too easily spoken. It felt just like breathing, saying those words to him. Another tear escaping unchecked.

I loved him so much, too much, with everything in me.

"Call me tomorrow?" He asked, his voice sounding disembodied and strange, a little stifled.

"Yes."

I made it over the threshold of the gate this time, crunched down the gravel walkway, stumbled over the curb and crossed the street to Alice's house. I even made it up to her front porch.

And then my knees gave out. My lungs exhaled a sob, a terrible keening sound, and I covered my mouth with the back of my wrist. I sank onto the bottom step and cried quietly, my face in my hands. My body was wracked, cracking and falling apart all around me with each heaving cry.

I thought back to the beginning of our conversation, when I asked Edward if he had ever thought about how easy it was for us to hurt one another. It was achingly apparent to me in this moment that he never had. And it was all too clear to me now what kind of wreckage that lack of contemplation brought.

It was the ruin caused by three little words said innocently, meant platonically, breathed from the lips of a boy that would always belong to someone else.

And that ruin? That ruin was me.

A/N: A huge, huge, huge thanks to profmom72 for beta-ing this. Your help was truly invaluable. Also, many and major thanks to LightStarDusting and Maximista for pre-reading this and analyzing it ad nauseum with me. You guys own all. Thank you for dealing with my long and rambling emails (whether they had to do with this story or not).

Inspiration for this one-shot came from Ingrid Michaelson's "Corner of Your Heart." It's a gorgeous song if you feel like listening:

www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=4wBU_GgE3xc

A/N revisited: Hi there! Me again. I made several small tweaks to this story in order to put it more in timeline with the continuation I'm planning. They're very tiny, though, and don't upset the story overall. This is more of a heads up because I'm weird like that.