There You'll Be, a nanny fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own any part or character from The Nanny…but if I could choose…

A/N: After reading Ichbin's 'Look Away', I just wasn't happy with Niles and CC not being together. You all know my writing well enough to know that's not how I see things. Well, after gaining permission from Ichbin to do a 'rebuttal' story if you will…this is what I came up with… Let me know what you think – D

These are the last few lines of Ichbin's story…CC's point of view…

Oh how she wished she had told him, right from the start, that all she wanted was to be with him. That she had been scared and foolish to assume that she could do anything but love him.

Instead, she had told him she was happy for him.

"Why did I do that?" she cried again, holding the picture of him to her heart, knowing she would never hold him again.

There You'll Be

CC went about her life, and she hated it. It was like as movie playing over in her head, a sappy, sad, pathetic movie and the end was always the same.

Today would be no different except she had to drop in on Maxwell at the mansion to negotiate for one of her clients. She braced herself for the sight of him as she rang the front bell. "Hello, He…where's Niles?" CC asked Fran as she opened the door.

"Well, it's nice to see you too, CC." Fran dropped sarcastically.

CC couldn't help but smirk. "I'm sorry, Fran. I was just expecting the Dust Mop."

"Give it up, CC. It's all over your face." Fran closed the door and CC pretended not to hear her comment. "Max is waiting in the office." Fran started back into the kitchen.

CC sighed and let her thoughts drift. "I would have liked to see him…hell, I damn well need to see him." "Hello, Maxwell." CC announced her presence as she assumed what was once her usual place on the little green sofa.

"Hello, CC. It's good to see you. You look…well." Max tried his best to be supportive of her decision to leave Sheffield-Babcock Productions, but things just haven't been the same since she did.

CC grinned at him, knowing full well he was desperately uncomfortable and for more than one reason. "Don't worry, Max. I'll take it easy on you." Max sighed.

When they'd finally finished their negotiations, CC gave Max a warm, friendly hug and excused herself promising she'd come for dinner soon. A promise she had no intention of keeping since she knew full well that Niles would have to be present for such an occasion and it would prove to be far too much for any amount of liquor to handle.

CC stopped in the den on her way to the front door for a moment just trying to decide what to do. She knew how much she craved him, wanted him, loved him, but she'd left him. And he'd moved on…he was happy or so she'd often been told. "Just leave well enough alone, CC." She whispered softly and took another step into the den catching her reflection in the mirror and her thoughts drifted back to…dancing in the den just behind where she now stood alone, clucking like a chicken in the office which led to that steamy kiss, there fight on the stairs and the night of passion that followed. Then of course all the nights that followed.

When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad cause I was blessed
To get to have you in my life

When I think back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me.

"Maybe I'll just pop into the kitchen and say hello." CC whispered softly to herself. "Hey, Fran…I'm sorry about before, I was focused on the negotiations…"

Fran looked at CC. The two had become rather close before she left and she knew very well that was a bold faced lie. "Look, CC. Sit down and tell me what's goin' on. I've never seen ya look so lost."

"I just wanted to stop in and say goodbye before I left." CC feigned confusion.

Fran stood from her chair and took the two steps to join CC at the end of the island. "CC, Niles isn't here."

"Out with Victoria?" CC glanced away hoping Fran wouldn't see the pain in her face just mentioning the name of the woman who held the heart of the only man she's ever loved.

Fran crossed to the stove to start the kettle. "Nope…" Fran let her thought continue only in her head knowing Niles had done his best to keep the break up away from her. Not for any particular reason but she'd been doing so well on her own and he didn't want his break up to cloud over her success.

"Oh, so…" CC waited for Fran to face her again. "How is he then…happy?"

Fran didn't know how to answer…Niles hasn't been happy since she left…well even before that really. He put on a good front with Victoria…and Fran thought he really could be happy with her. But she'd caught him on too many times brooding in the pantry or just sitting down in the wine cellar staring at his pocket watch. Fran never understood that. He wears a wristwatch… "I guess he's happy…as happy as eva…" Even Fran wasn't convinced so she quickly changed the subject. "You don't look very happy, CC."

"What? I'm happy…why wouldn't I be happy…I'm perfectly happy." CC couldn't even convince herself and she could feel her eyes filling and her lower lip start the tell tale tremble. "I should go." She started to head for the back door only to have Fran block her exit. "Let me go, please." CC's eyes nearly begged her new friend to allow her to escape.

Fran stood her ground. "CC…I know we haven't always been friends…but we are now…tell me."

"I'm…not…happy…Fran…" CC felt the tears falling down her once stoic, icy cheeks. "I…I…"

"You miss him…you can say it, CC." Fran wrapped her friend in a hug. Fran led CC to the table and then grabbed two pints of Ben & Jerry's.

"I miss everyone…not just…" CC started.

"Don't botha lyin' CC…" Fran interrupted. "You two thought it was such a big secret? Max and I saw you in bed that night after the big blowout on the front stairs. We let you have your privacy since that's what you two seemed to want. Everything was great then he started seein' Victoria. What happened?"

CC cried until the tears finally just stopped falling, all the while explaining the story to Fran…all about their very rational decision that as a couple, well they didn't fit. "I could tell it wasn't really love for him, Fran…it was just years of pent up lust and desire. At least…for Niles…I just didn't want to let him go…and to be perfectly honest I didn't think I would ever really have to. I just thought…hoped I guess that he'd always have that small part of him that secretly pined for me, like I did for him." CC's voice fell to barely a whisper. "Then he met Victoria and she seemed to make him happy. I was happy for him, I thought. I wanted to be, really I did…but every time he as much as said her name a felt another small part of my heart break. And then the taunts and barbs got a little more harsh, I thought I was protecting myself from getting hurt, instead I was just pushing him away. I had to leave or I'd have driven him away completely."

Fran felt her own eyes filling as CC told her tale. "You've got to tell him how you feel, CC."

"I can't, Fran…Niles is happy with Victoria…I can't take that away from him…I love him too much to let him think he's caused me pain." CC stood and tossed her now empty ice cream carton in the trash under the sink. "No…it's better this way. "I had my chance in the beginning to tell him, and I didn't. In fact I was most adamant about how we'd never work. Now, I'll just have to live with that decision."

Fran stood and hugged her at the back door. "I wish ya'd change ya mind, CC."

"No, Fran…don't worry about me…I'll be fine, I still have my memories." CC offered a small smile and slipped out the back door. She barely made it to her car before the tears fell again.

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be.

The back door barely closed before Niles entered in the door from the dining room. Fran greeted him with a half smile. "Hey, Niles…you're a bit late…how was your afternoon?"

"I was at the gym, Fran. It was like every afternoon." Niles seemed once again out of sorts.

Fran frowned at him. "I thought you liked goin' to the gym. You usually come home happy and full of energy. Did somethin' happen today?"

Niles couldn't meet her eyes. He couldn't even move. He just kept hearing the words over and over in his head. "…I love him too much to let him think he's caused me pain. I love him too much… I love him too much… I love him… I love him…" "She loves me…" Niles absently offered to the room on a breath.

"Whadya say, Honey?" Fran asked as she stood up from tossing her ice cream carton in the trash. "Niles? Are you alright…ya look kinda funny." Fran did her best to hide her knowing smile as she thought to herself. "I'm so glad you're always so prompt, Niles…you can set your watch by your schedule."

Niles seemed to stand a bit taller and a small smile crossed his face. "I'm very well, Fran, thank you. Now, I have something I must do and I need to shower and change first." Niles took the back stairs two at a time.

Well, you showed me how it feels
To have the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me.

CC drove around a short while before landing at Jack's. It had been a while since she graced his establishment, at least this early in the day. "Hey, Jack!" CC called as she took her stool at the bar. "Get me the usual, would you?"

"Sure thing, Miss Babcock. Hey, I haven't seen you in a while…been busy?" Jack asked as he poured her drink.

CC lifted the glass to down the libation she'd almost come to count on to drive 'him' from her thoughts. "Uhm…yea…I started a business a few months ago and it's really taken up a lot of my time." CC looked at the glass in her hand.

"That's great! I remember what it was like when I started this place. I never thought I'd see the inside of my apartment again!" Jack laughed as someone else called for his attention. "Excuse me."

CC nodded and lifted the glass to her lips only to hear the voices ringing in her ears. "Niles…I don't make it a habit of drinking with the help." "I've never been any help to you…" "Oh, Niles…you were everything to me." CC put down the glass and the money for her drink and leaves the bar.

Niles came quickly down the back stairs in khaki's and a royal blue pullover. "Hoo Haa, Niles…where ya goin'?" Fran offered as she looked up and saw him. "That sweater really brings out your eyes."

"Thanks, Fran. Can't talk I have something I have to do and I don't imagine it's going to be easy." Niles winked at her, and left out the back door. He got to the car and sat for a minute to collect his thoughts. He reached pulled out his pocket watch and flipped it open. "I will have you woman, Niles glanced down at the photo it held, CC. Now I just have to find you." Niles flipped on the radio and started his search.

Niles tossed opened the door to Jack's and moved quickly to the bar. "Hey, Jack…"

"She's not her, Niles." Jack answered the unasked question.

"What?" Niles was taken back.

Jack shook his head. "She came in about half an hour ago…order her usual and left it untouched."

"Thanks, Jack." Niles nodded politely and left the way he came. "Where in the hell are you woman…I've already been to the apartment. I must find you…"

CC drove around a bit ending up in Central Park. "I remember that walk we took here, when Nana died." CC let the words fall from her lips as if he were walking with her again. "You always knew just what I needed, always knew just what to say."

Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength
And I want to thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
Always

CC finally stopped crying…she was worn out, exhausted, spent. Not in the wonderful way she remembered after a night of making love with Niles, but in the soul sucking, stomach churning way that one feels when they've all but given up any hope at happiness. That's how CC felt. Niles was happy now, with Victoria. CC had no one to blame but herself. She'd still have her memories, like she'd told Fran. She'd have her dreams and her fantasies…what their lives may have been like…children they may have had. CC stepped wearily onto the elevator and rode up in silence.

CC moved slowly down the hall to her door and sighed heavily as she slipped the key into the lock dreading the silent darkness she knew awaited her on the other side. When she finally pushed the door open, shock greeted her.

There you'll be.

The room was bathed in the soft glow of dozens of candles. Soft music played something familiar in the background. And most importantly he was there…no more than three feet in front of her…kneeling.

"Niles?" The name she loved nearly as much as the man who would answer to it, slipped quietly from her.

"Marry me, CC…please?"

CC practically collapsed from joy, exhaustion, any number of emotions that coursed so fully and rapidly through her veins. "Yes, Niles…Oh God, yes." He held her so tightly in her arms he feared briefly that she make actually break.

"I've missed you so much, Love." Niles cried softly as he pulled back and slipped the ring on her finger. "I love you, CC."

"I love you…Niles." Their lips crashed together in the desperate need to have each other again. The yearning and desire they had pretended wasn't between them proving just how much they were meant to be together. "Make love to me."

"For the rest of my life, Love"