Hey everyone, here is my attempt at coping with the finale. This is what I would like to see for Outlaw Queen. The title was inspired by the song "All I Want" by Kodaline. If you haven't heard it, look it up. I think it fits perfectly.
I own nothing.
Chapter 1
"You just better hope to hell you didn't bring anything else back."
The moment Regina finished saying those words, she knew that it was impossible. She could never become the person she was again. The Evil Queen was long dead, and only now that she was tempted to dive back into the darkness was she shown just how far she had risen.
Casting one last look of sorrow at the reunited family, Regina turned from the Savior and strode purposefully out of the diner, trying desperately to mask the despair overtaking her. Trying to escape unnoticed.
In spite of all the former queen's efforts to remain composed, Emma heard the muffled sob that coincided with the tinkling of the bell on the door. Turning away from the vision of Regina hastening down the walk, Emma's gaze halted momentarily on the man Regina had walked in with. Robin looked completely dazed, standing there with arms wrapped around his long-lost wife. Emma wondered if he might not be going into shock.
Glancing quickly around the crowded diner, Emma was relieved to see that her exchange with Regina had, for the most part, gone unnoticed. Dozens of pairs of eyes were focused on the seemingly happy surprise reunion taking place in the center of the room. Panic and remorse began to set in as Emma turned to face her parents, hoping against hope that they would know what to do. David and Henry sat on either side of Snow and both were looking on with open-mouthed expressions of confusion and dismay.
Snow was the only other person in the room, in the world, not transfixed by the action. Instead her eyes quickly met her daughter's stricken gaze and, with tears of sorrow beginning to spill, she silently mouthed "Oh, Emma."
Regina barely knew where she was going as she raced up the street and away from the tragedy. Her tears now went unchecked and spilled ceaselessly as she bit into her gloved hand, trying to keep from crying out. Awareness of her surroundings did not come until she reached her front porch. She fumbled with her keys for what felt like hours before giving up and blowing the door open with a wave of her trembling hand. Staggering over the threshold, she slammed the door behind her, kicked off her shoes and sank slowly to the ground.
Was that it? Were those few short days of blissful hope the only happy ending she was entitled to? Her initial urge toward hatred and vengeance had cooled somewhat, leaving her with an emptiness that she had never before experienced.
She thought back to the Savior and registered a vague sense of regret at her own harsh words. Emma had meant no harm. Her wide-eyed, open-mouthed expression of shock had been enough to show Regina that she had not even guessed at the possibility of this complication. She had simply done what was right and Regina knew, deep down, that she could not fault Emma for that.
"I just wanted to save her life," Emma had said. Only one day before had Regina surprised everyone, including herself, with the words "heroes don't kill." Well, apparently heroes also do not stand by and allow others to be killed, and Emma Swan was certainly a hero. No. Regina had to admit to herself that it was not Emma's fault. Nor was it Marian's. Nor Robin's.
Robin.
A brief glimpse of his smiling face flashed across Regina's tightly-closed eyes and she felt her body give in to another bout of sobbing. She curled up into the fetal position on the floor of her foyer, weeping openly as she pictured their stolen moments of joy.
It seemed so unreal, that she had been so incredibly happy such a short time ago. She had given up on romantic love decades before, on the day she married the king in fact. Daniel had been her one shot, she had believed. After losing him, she had dedicated the rest of her life to other types of passion: first the thirst for power and revenge, and then her new-found capacity for motherly love.
She felt the cruelty of fate, that it would deal her this blow. To give her a taste of the bliss she had found with Robin, the contentment that came with knowing they were destined for one another, and then ripping it away with no warning and no consolation.
That's not true, she thought to herself. There is a consolation.
He will be happy. Robin now has a second chance at his first love. Regina noted the depth of her love for him when she realized that this knowledge did provide her with a small amount of comfort. Robin will be happy, and that is as it should be. After all, he was not the one who had tortured, murdered and cursed. He was good. A good friend. A good father. A good person, through and through.
Almost without thinking, Regina slowly reached into herself and pulled out that most troublesome part of her. She was faintly surprised to see that her heart had not broken in two. She had felt sure that it must have, with the amount of pain and turmoil it was currently experiencing. No, it was just the same as before. Red and glowing, with undeniable traces of darkness here and there. Robin's heart would not look like this, she told herself. It would glow bright red, vibrant and unmarred. The heart of a person who deserves happiness.
Fresh tears emerged as Regina lowered her hand to the ground, her eyes fixed on the small, imperfect organ. It would be so easy, she thought. It would be so easy to end it all right now. To let them all be happy without her. Henry had Emma and the Charmings. He would be fine and probably better off. Robin had his beloved wife and son. He would probably not even notice.
These thoughts sent another crushing blow through Regina and she responded by directing it to the object in her hand. Squeezing with all the energy she had left, she searched desperately for an escape.
Nothing happened.
Doubling her efforts, Regina cried out in anguish as she repeatedly tried and failed to crush the one thing keeping her tethered to this pain. She was unable to.
Fully consumed by her frustration and grief, the former queen did not hear the door gently swing open behind her. She did not notice the quiet gasp of shock or the soft steps as the figure approached her. Her attention was finally diverted from her task by the soft thud that came from the ground behind her. She turned her head enough to see the baby carrier resting only a few feet away and looked up to see Snow White, her former enemy, stare down at her through tear-filled eyes.
Regina cried out in despair as she tried one last time to remove herself from that world. To no avail. Her heaving breaths slowed to sighs of resignation as she gave up on her escape.
Slowly pulling herself to a sitting position, she leaned against the wall and looked helplessly up at her stepdaughter. Snow gave a small, teary smile before carefully lowering herself to the ground next to Regina.
They both looked down at the feebly glowing heart for several seconds. The younger woman then reached out and grasped the hand that held it, guiding Regina's hand slowly back to her chest and gently easing the broken, unbreakable heart back into place.
"That," she slowly began, "is what it means to be the most resilient."
Regina had looked down in wonder as the other woman pressed the heart back into her body and, stifling another sob, lifted her gaze to meet Snow's. The princess' words slowly began to register and Regina knew that it was no use.
She gave into her grief and slowly collapsed into the woman sitting next to her, allowing her sobs to be absorbed by Snow's firm embrace.
