Revolutionary Girl
The Beautiful People

Kairi fidgeted in her plush chair, back sinking into the multitude of feather-soft cushions behind her. It was, she decided, like being eaten by a marshmallow.

What a way to die.

No, she would not die like that. What would Sora and Riku think, spending so long trying to save their princess only to have her engulfed by a sugar-spun piece of pure doom and evil?

Sora would cry. Riku would kill things. But then, after a suitable period of grieving, they'd probably laugh. Kairi didn't blame them – she'd laugh as well.

"Are you alright, Kairi?" asked Alice worriedly, a delicate china cup of tea in her hands and a delicate look about her pale face. Her eyes were very blue, her hair very blonde.

Kairi felt uncomfortable as she looked down the long table, eyes dancing across the faces of all the beautiful people assembled before her.

The princesses.

What the hell was she doing here at this stupid little tea party with her messy hair and bitten nails? What the hell was she doing with all those impossibly attractive fairytale creatures? What the hell was she doing if she thought she could fool anyone she was a princess?

Kairi became uncomfortably aware of her bitten nails on the tabletop and drew them to her lap quickly, attempting to keep her face calm.

It felt like being at high school, attempting to win the trust of the popular people, attempting to look like them and dress like them and act like them and become them.

But no, that wasn't fair – Kairi hadn't wanted to be a princess to begin with. She had been happy on her island throwing crabs at Wakka and climbing trees and collecting driftwood to make rafts and tree houses and wooden swords. She had been happy with dirt under her nails, running around in the sand with no shoes or socks.

Yet here she was.

She remembered a conversation she had had with Sora a couple of years ago before the heartless came and everything changed. Before Riku became a hero and Sora saved the world and Kairi found a crown on her head.

"Do you remember your own world? Do you ever want to go back?"

Kairi looked around her own world, her own castle, her own bitten fingers cradled against the pink material of her skirt, and shuddered.

No, Sora, I really don't. Can you burst in here, decapitate them all and save me? Please? I didn't know it then but I do now. I really was happy at Destiny Islands. Sora, if you really loved me you'd kill them all.

Kairi's bitten nails dug into her skin.

Sora, if you really loved me you'd kill me so I don't have to sit here like an idiot drinking tea and I don't even like tea and shit they're all staring.

"I'm fine, Alice," Kairi lied.

If Aurora or Cinderella had asked the very same question she probably would've responded with some form of sarcasm (she couldn't stand those two) but, as it was, she liked Alice. Liked her more than the others, anyway.

All vain creatures that spent hours anointing their faces with lipstick and eyeliner as if they were preparing for battle, swishing around ballrooms in fancy dresses that cost more than having a kidney removed and smiling vapidly at pretty men in the hopes that they would be their prince charming.

It made Kairi feel queasy, and she took a slow sip of her tea to calm her down. Ha. Chance would be a fine thing. The damn drink could've been laced with morphine and it wouldn't have done one jot of good or stopped her fingers shaking as her thumb made its steady pilgrimage to her mouth, teeth nibbling at the corner of the nail.

She couldn't help but note that Aurora looked vaguely disgusted at her actions. Damn bitch had already chewed her out over her favourite pink zip-up dress, protesting that it was "too short."

Come on, this was the twenty first century, for crying out loud. Who was that chick kidding anyway with that medieval-style blue (or pink) dress and that tiara placed pretentiously over her sunshine-coloured hair?

If she thought Kairi was going to give up her kick-boxing and short skirts just because she sighed disapprovingly at her, well… She was going to be sorely disappointed. Even more so than she was already.

"Kairi, don't bite your nails. It's uncouth," Cinderella informed her crisply. "Princesses don't act like that."

No, princesses sit on their asses looking pretty, marry rich men so they don't have to worry anymore and sew buttons on shirts while their husbands are off fighting evil and what have you – yes, perfect happily ever after there…

Kairi was never very good at needlework anyway.

"Don't want to be a princess," she replied childishly.

"Oh, but you must. You can't shirk responsibility," Snow White tutted, waving her finger back and forth.

She was… bearable, for the most part, if slightly aggravating in the way she flounced and fluttered and shook her head. Sort of like a mother. Or a chicken.

"I know it's hard, but you've really got to learn if you're going to step up to the throne of Radiant Garden someday. King Mickey said himself that he desired it. You can't heap all the burden on Leon and the others – it just isn't right."

"You're very strong-willed, Kairi," Belle nodded. "We were all impressed when we heard how you helped Sora in the final battle. But…"

"But if you're a princess you can't do stuff like that anymore. What if you got hurt? What would Radiant Garden do if you died?" Jasmine asked, adjusting her blue headband.

"What they've been doing for the past ten years while I was with Sora and Riku?"

Aurora sighed, massaging her scalp as though Kairi was giving her a headache. "Right, that's it. I don't care if you don't want to be a princess, Kairi. Sad thing is, you already are one. We're just going to have to make you act like one and we don't have enough time for you to sit there eating your fingers and acting like a two-year-old."

Kairi blinked slowly, fingers still working down her nail despite the plates of food that littered the table. She couldn't help but notice that none of the girls had taken any of it, even though Snow White was surveying a plate of rosy red apples with mild intrigue.

It was exactly like being the unpopular girl (glasses, braces, ginger hair, freckles, the works) sat amongst the cheerleaders, even in so much as the fact that none of them ate, all skinny as beanpoles.

She wondered if diet pills had anything to do with the matter.

"I'm not a princess."

"You will be."

"How long have we got?" asked Belle, ever the intelligent one. Always concerned over figures and facts and weighing up all the pros and cons before making a move. Belle was quite nice, really.

Well, she would've been quite nice if she wasn't encouraging Aurora and Cinderella, the captains of their sick little cheer squad, if you will.

"Seven days," Cinderella replied, coating her lips in a dusky pink hue and puckering them before a compact mirror.

"Seven?"

"It can be done. It won't be easy… Heaven knows it won't be easy. But we can do it. We will do it. And Kairi will become a princess. We promised the King."

"Hmn…" Kairi surveyed the beautiful people again, eyes lidded. No use trying to argue now. No use kicking and screaming and digging her trainer'd heels into the floor. No use. No more.

She was going to go along with their stupid plan. And she was going to be ladylike about it.

She was going to be exactly like all the ladies sat before her.

And they were going to wish that they had never been born.

a.n: this story sort of reminds me of the princess diaries, expect kairi is much more conniving and much more dangerous ;D but no, it's not slasher. it's mild humour and, most of all, all the things about princess aurora that really pissed me off when i watched sleeping beauty through again yesterday.

please enjoy the show & wonder what kairi does next D