iCarly-iAm Alone?

Author's Note-Another inspiration hit while still writing the 5th chapter of iNever Got Over You. Please read and enjoy! I write for you guys, so your opinions are appreciated.

I DO NOT OWN iCARLY or its characters. NO copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 1~Reminiscences

My door is locked. The lights are out, all except for my bedside lamp. It's pouring wet outside my window, as always. I hardly ever notice it. But now...this evening... the constant dreary patter on the window, the gloomy grayness of the sky, only enhance my mood.

I'm lying on my stomach, wrapped in a dark red blanket, clutching my Church Pants pillow. There's a cup of cocoa on my bedside table, but I haven't touched it.

Tissues all over my quilt, my pillow. The floor. But not even a factory full of Kleenex could help me. I feel like I'll never stop crying. But they aren't gushing out of my eyes now. They're just sliding out, one by one, each stinging my cheeks as they roll down my face and drip from my chin. My stomach feels like someone used it for a punching bag. And I'm not going to look at my face. Not now, not ever.

On top of everything, I threw Sam & Freddie out of our apartment, and subsequently cancelled our iCarly brainstorm session. And ran up here and locked myself in. Just threw them out without a word about why.

That word, why.

Why am I like this?

Let me try to answer that for you.

One Month Ago

It was a Monday, at 3 pm. I had just been let out of school, and I was having a last-minute chat with Freddie and Sam before I went to meet my boyfriend at the Groovy Smoothie.

My boyfriend, Jordan Fletcher. That's who this is really about, by the way.

Anyway, we were standing by the bus stop, bein' silly. Sam was intent on eating her after-school sandwich she saves for this time of day-today it was pastrami on rye with everything except mayo. Sam says mayo hides the flavor of the meat. Freddie was checking the stats on his new Pear-Pad. And I had something to tell them. I had been trying to decide how to spring it on them after Jordan proposed it, at lunch.

"I think I'm going over to Jordan's place after the Groovy Smoothie, guys," I said, unable to hide the excitement in my voice.

Freddie stopped typing and glanced at me. "Su lugar-His place? What's wrong with your apartment? Spencer's letting me be there anyway, getting set up for tonight's iCarly. And he could stay and watch."

I looked at my feet and shifted back and forth, unable to hide the smile on my lips. "Well, he's already been over a lot...and this time he said he wanted me to...um...see his room." I blushed.

Freddie's jaw dropped.

Sam almost choked on a piece of tomato. "His room? Carls, you guys have only been dating for 2 months, and no offense, but I thought you liked to take things slow!"

"Oh no, it's not like that!" I quickly answered, shaking my head. "You know Jordan's not like that. He understands my reasons for taking our time, and he supports me. He's been really sweet about it."

Freddie looked unconvinced. "Then why does he want you to "see" his room?" He made air quotes when he said it.

"Freddie, I know you're just looking out for me, but you don't have to now. Jordan is a great guy and he cares about me, and we're not going to do anything like you think we are."

"I don't think you will-it's him I don't exactly trust. Guys don't ask you to come to their house unless they want something. And it's usually one thing."

Sam watched us go back and forth in silence, still working on her sandwich.

"I told you, Jordan's NOT that kind of guy!" I said indignantly.

He shook his head. "You know I'm just trying to look out for you. I'm your friend, and I care about you too."

"Since when did you act like her dad, Benson?" said Sam, finishing the sandwich.

"Oh, you're okay with Jordan, who we don't know very well, asking Carly to his room so soon?" Freddie protested.

"Hey, I've met the guy, and I think he's cool. A good guy," she added, nodding at me. "And hey, I think I've taught Carly to fend for herself," she grinned.

I smiled. "I know you guys care about me," I said, touching Freddie's shoulder. "But I am 16 now, I can make my own decisions. And I also trust Jordan. And he says now he's seen my house, he wants to show me his. Then he'll bring me home and we can do iCarly."

Freddie still looked unconvinced. "Are his parents going to be home?"

"Of course, he wants me to meet them. Look, Freddie, it's not like he asked me to move in with him or anything!"

He finally grinned, sheepishly. "Okay, I'm overreacting. I guess it's just-none of us has done something like this with someone we're dating before. It's a big step, and-I guess I don't like thinking about how old we are now. I mean, pretty soon Sam will bring guys home, and I'll have to figure out how to smuggle girls into my room-"

I laughed and punched his arm. "Yeah, right, Benson. You can barely get a date at Ridgeway-none of them are going to want to sneak past your psychopath mom to check out your nerd-geek room," Sam snorted.

"Sam, be nice to the Fredward!," I joked. "Look, don't worry about me, guys. I know it's kind of weird because just last year we were fresh in high school, and just trying out dating, and now we're old enough to get our licenses and-I'm going to my boyfriend's house." Freddie looked uncomfortable. "But it's not like we don't want to try out new stuff, right?"

"Speak for yourself, Carls-I know a thing or three you've yet to learn about," Sam said.

I looked at her in sudden panic. "What things? with who? Sam, what have you been doing?"

She sighed. "Carly, Carly. Remember I'm the bad girl from juvie with a family full of criminals (and proud of it), and you're the good girl with values who's teaching me to "respect" myself." She waved me away.

I was confused. "Don't tell me you're-you've been doing drugs?"

Sam looked hurt. "I didn't say I actually did anything!" I looked at her carefully. She sighed. "Okay, maybe I've tried a smoke now and then from those kids you say are a bad influence. I am a bad influence-no big deal! I'm just saying that compared to me, you guys belong in middle school still. 'Course it's not like Benson here's getting anywhere with girls no matter how old he gets..."-she reached over to give him noogies, but Freddie shoved her away. "Our bus is here, mis hijas," he said.

We gathered up our stuff, got on the bus, and chose a seat. Once the bus started, we all sat back and withdrew to our own thoughts in silence. Freddie had brought up something that'd hit home with me. It did feel like we were growing up too fast sometimes, I thought. Just the other day I'd watched a few of our old iCarly clips for nostalgia, and I'd been-amazed. We looked so young, so innocent and silly. Everythign was different now-well, not everything, but some. For one thing, Freddie and I had dated for one week, even though we were fine with friendship right now. Even in those old videos, I could see the way, when on-camera, Freddie had leaned towards me when I talked, the way he tried to stand as close as possible. It all seemed so juvenile now...now I had a steady boyfriend and I felt like I was ready to be serious with him. I was looking forward to this.

Soon the bus stopped at Bushwell Plaza to drop off Freddie and me. We waved to Sam as the bus pulled away, and then I saw Jordan's car parked on the curb. I couldn't see him through the light sprkinle of the rain, but he knew he was smiling at me, waiting to take him to his place and meet his parents-and see his room.

I took a deep breath. "See you this evening, Freddie," I smiled.

He nodded, again seeming ill at ease. "See you."

I nodded back, and walked confidently to Jordan's car. I was ready to do this. What I didn't know, was that this afternoon would change everything.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think should happen at Jordan's house!