A/N: Oh my goodness, this idea is wicked. I don't know where it came from, but before you read this, watch the trailer at my youtube... xStruckxByxLovex that is my user name. Anyways, READ AND REVIEW. Please tell me if I should continue!

Time is a funny thing.

You can't go backwards. You can't fast forward. You can't pause and hit the stop button whenever you would like. The only thing you can do is move forward and learn from mistakes. In this case, it wasn't a matter of learning from mistakes, but learning that things in life aren't always fair.

But who in this world has a fair life nowadays. It seems like everyone around is saying "That's not fair!" and getting the same reply, "Life's not fair." It's a process of learning, not like learning the alphabet, or your times tables. More like learning as each day in your lifetime passes by, that nothing will ever be they way you want it, and sometimes you just have to accept that and move on.

I've tried that before and I'm trying that now, but it just never seems to work out. There's a blockade stopping me right at the border of moving on and over it. I'm always right there and then I get reminded of her. Her being with him. Her being with me. The past floods into my mind and then I'm back to where I started.

It's been one year, six months and one week. I don't know why I'm the one being held back. I don't know why I'm the one counting the days since we broke up. To be honest, I don't really know anything anymore.

"Joe?" I said and turned to face him. He was sitting at my desk, fooling around on my computer. Why he wasn't using his own, I don't know.

"Yeah?" He asked and he looked at me expectantly.

"Do you ever feel like you...screwed your whole life over?" My voice cracked as I was thinking of Miley again. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and Joe's face washed over with a mixture of curiosity and amusement but with a hint of worry. I could sense him studying my face and all of my actions.

"Nope." He said simply and turned back to the screen. "Of course, leave it to your younger brother to mess everything up." I said bitterly and collapsed on my bed, closing my eyes. Her face appeared.

Why did this keep happening? Every time, every damn time I close my eyes, even if I blink for a millisecond, she's there. Her smoky-blue eyes that always sparkle and her glistening brown locks that frame her face just right, and that smile. She has an indescribable smile.

"Nick, come on, you can't beat yourself up like this. So Miley has a boyfriend, you had a girlfriend, what's the problem?" I heard Joe say, I opened my eyes to find him staring down at me.

"The problem is that...well-" Joe cut me off and put his two cents in, "Is that you always want something when you can't have it."

"I've always wanted her though." I sat up and looked at Joe, he shrugged helplessly and before walking out of the room mumbled, "Well for a long time you had an odd way of showing it." Usually Joe was helpful, but maybe he became fed up with all of my issues. I don't blame him.

Radio, let me be your DJ. I'll turn you up because we're moving 'till we're on a roll. Her voice echoed through my head and visions of us on the Best Of BothWorlds tour ran through my mind like a film strip. I couldn't sleep once again and this just kept getting worse. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Well, I know there is, but now it's serious. I think it's time to see a psychologist or something, as crazy as it sounds.

I reach over onto my nightstand and grab my cell phone to check the time. The bright glow nearly blinds me, but not enough so I cant see the time.

5:04 AM

This is the fifth time in a row where I stayed up all night reminiscing on memories of us together. I went to bed aboutb8 hours ago, and in about two hours I should be waking up to get ready to head to the studio with Joe and Kevin. I rubbed my eyes and decided to just get up now and hop in the shower.

By the time I was out of my room it was 5:36 and I had plenty of time to kill so I walked quietly down to the kitchen to pour myself a bowl of Cheerios. When I got to the kitchen I didn't even bother to turn on the light, there's something about being in the only room that has a light on that creeped me out. I poured my cereal and turned towards the table but jumped in surprise of seeing my mom sitting at the table looking at me and holding a mug of coffee.

"Mom! Don't do that, you nearly scared me half to death." I exclaimed, running my free hand through my hair.

"I'm sorry, Nicholas, didn't mean to startle you. Why are you up so early anyways?" She questioned and I slowly walked over and sat down across from her.

"Couldn't sleep." I sighed.

"Again?"

"Yeah, agai-wait, how do you know this isn't the first time I couldn't sleep?"

"I'm a mom, I sleep with one eye open and am always listening." She laughed once and took a sip of her coffee while I ate scoop of cereal. I tried to smile with her but I just couldn't.

I guess she picked up on it because her face faltered and she she asked, "What's wrong, Nicholas?"

"Everything..." And I stood up and ran up to my room, not giving her a chance to evaluate me. I love my mom and I know she understands me, but lately I don't think anyone can understand me because not even I can.

A/N: Ahh it's short I know, but I really had to stop it there because this was just an introduction to how Nick feels about his current situation. Please tell me what you think.

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