Temporary Insanity
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A/N; Hello everyone! This obviously is an AU. I tweaked the ages a bit, L and Light are both 18. And obviously, Light isn't a mass murderer.
Spoilers: Nothing much, L's real name but who doesn't know it by now? :D
Disclaimer: I disclaim, disclaim, disclaim! I own nothing but this story and plot. C:
Read on, enjoy the ramblings of a fan girl!
Poke. "Raito-kunn."
"…"
Poke. "Raito-kunnn."
"…"
Smirk. JAB!
Chairs tip over.
Arm flails.
Crash.
Yank.
… Wait for it..
CRASH.
L blinked owlishly above Raito. "Well, I suppose that is one way to get Raito-kun's attention."
"Gah!"
Watari stared at the tangle of limbs on the floor.
"I'm afraid that the chain is making it difficult to maneuver Raito-kun."
"I don't care just get off!"
Blink. Creepy smile.
"I didn't mean it that way you pervert!" Raito screeched in a way that would put even Misa to shame.
Ladies and gentlemen, the world's greatest detectives. God save us all.
Ring. Ring.
"Hello Watari, I was wondering if you were ever going to call. How is everything going with your charges? Still intent on each other's blood?" the voice chuckled quietly.
"I'm afraid so Hikaru, even chaining them together isn't helping them get along. Why did I think that it would be a good idea again? I just don't know what do to with them at this point."
"Because you're desperate? And you know, my offer still stands."
"Yes, they won't like it but.. I just might take you up on that."
"Let's see, oh, that's strange. It seems as though all of my appointments today had been canceled. It seems as though their insistent fighting is even getting to Matt, Mello, and Near."
"How do you know it's them?"
"I would like to say that it's because I know the Whammy boys so well but.. they left a note saying; 'Please fix them before Matt, Near and I think of an elaborate plan that will slowly but surely kill them and then ditch them in a place that no one will ever look.' ... With a rather sinister looking smiley at the end. Well, that certainly is an eloquently put death threat."
Watari smiled. "Only they would think to do such a thing."
"Why don't you bring them around, so I could take look at them? I haven't seen Raito and Lawliet in a while."
"I rather doubt they would like to see you in these circumstances Hikaru. You know first-hand how stubborn these two are. But how does 4 o' clock sound?"
"That's fine with me, courtesy of the Whammy Trio. I'll see you then Watari?"
"Of course. I'll see you then."
Click.
"I just hope you're ready, old friend."
Dr. Kouki Hikaru had seen far too many strange things than she cared for.
Far too many things.
So seeing her friend dragging, quite literally, two teenagers into her office did not disturb her the least. Not even when she saw that the russet-haired of the said teens was wearing a ridiculous hat with tons of feathers on it; and the raven-haired had with a crooked mustache and the word 'LOSER' on his forehead that looked like it had been drawn with Sharpie.
This, actually, is one of the more normal occurrences she had seen. She didn't know if she should be happy for such a seemingly mundane visit or be very scared that she's actually getting immunized to strangeness.
"Hello Raito, L, Watari. Long time no see."
"Hello Kouki-san." Raito and L obviously did not want to be here. Especially with the ridiculous getup they were currently sporting. The teens turned around simultaneously and showed their displeasure of being here by glaring maliciously at their guardian.
"Hmm, the mustache and the hat really make them a lot less intimidating.' thought the bemused therapist.
To hide her smile, she looked at the files on the two them. There really no need for a file on either of them, since she knew just about everything there was to know about the two trouble makers, and she knew that all the information in fore mentioned files would be fake. They brought them anyway.
As Kira and L, Raito and Lawliet's anonymity was extremely important. But she, being one of the few people they trusted outside of Raito's family and Watari, was let in on the secret of their identities. She knew the two exceptionally bright children since they were little kids. Sometimes a little too smart for their own good, and a certain incident with the lawn-mower, lemon juice, and a couple of household objects they got their hands on, came to mind. She shuddered, shook away the remenants of the reverie, and braced herself for a long report on each individual.
Raito's file simply read:
Name: Kiyomizu Akito
Age: 18
She blinked and closed it. 'Well, that was the shortest file I've ever read.' L's was slightly longer, but not by much. She sighed when she saw the two genii had turned their glares from Watari to each other, standing as far apart as the 6 foot chain linking them together allowed.
"Please have a seat, you two." Raito gracefully sat on a sofa. Whilst L plopped down on a beanbag chair..
Where he was attempting to sit in his normal crouch.
And failing miserably.
Everyone besides L sweat dropped.
"Raito-kun? … I am need of some assistance, if you don't mind? It seems as though this beanbag chair has taken a fancy to the idea of eating me."
"I'll tell you if I see anyone who could help you L," Raito said snippily.
L proceeded to give Raito the most pitiful look he could manage.
"Alright, I'll help you, just stop looking at me like I killed your puppy."
L blinked. "I did not have a puppy."
Light blew at his bangs in annoyance and helped L onto the sofa. They sat there, with matching scowls.
This exchange made Hikaru all the more amused. It didn't help that they were such ridiculous getup. Now that she was closer she could see that they had inflicted even more damage than she had originally thought.
Underneath the hat, Raito's hair looked slightly singed. L's hair was not in a much better state; it had 5 different colored combs poking out from its snarls. Hikaru didn't want to know what was with that. She really didn't want to know. With these two, it was better not knowing.
…
Who was she fooling, she was dying to know. The stories were always so absolutely hilarious. And from past experiences, she knew that they probably wreaked much, much more chaos in the ongoing war between the two than what appeared.
She turned to Watari and said, "I'm surprised that you got the two of them here. Alive, I mean."
He chuckled, "They wore themselves out with fighting, it didn't take much to drag them out."
She laughed. "Boys, do I even want to know about the- erm.. accessories that you're wearing?"
Their scowls grew darker.
Raito turned around to see L carrying a huge, hot pink hat with feathers arranged in such a way that it looked as if a very large bird had decided to perch upon it. A very large, color blind bird.
"L, that is the most ridiculous hat I've ever seen," he smirked, "Are you going to wear it?"
"Of course not Raito-kun."
"Then-?"
He dumped it on Raito's head, "It's for you, I have no need for such a flamboyant hat."
"What the hell, L?!"
He reached to yank the hat off when L stopped him.
"Don't take it off just yet, I think Raito-kun looks charming in pink." This statement was rewarded with a punch. And that was reciprocated by a kick to the stomach. A fight commenced and lasted 20 minutes until Raito noticed something.
The hat was still on his head.
He pulled the hat off.
Or at least tried to. His eyes widened and he tried once more to rid his head of the offensive object.
Nope, the goddamn hat wouldn't budge. His eyes narrowed.
"L. The hat won't come off."
"Hmm.. It seems that way Raito-kun." The detective was crouched on the floor, nonchalantly looking at his fingernails.
Raito took a deep breath.
"Why doesn't the ridiculous hat, which by the way is on my head, COME OFF?!"
L broke out in loud laughter, Raito's face was just too much! He nearly clapped his hands in utter glee. Oh look, he's turning red!
"YOU GLUED THIS THING TO MY HEAD L LAWLIET?!"
L snickered.
Next thing he knew, he was being very personally introduced to Raito's keyboard.
Raito sashayed out of the room with as much dignity he could muster, leaving L with key imprints on his face.
Both boys had only one thought in their minds.
'Oh, it's on.'
So.. That was my first fic..
It is a series.
-wrings hands nervously-
So tell me what you think!
Questions, suggestions, criticism are all welcome! C: