This is my first go at a ficathon for any fandom, but I'm excited to be participating! This isn't a Caskett centric story at all, so if that's what you're looking for, I'm sorry, but this isn't for you. It's a Ryan/Esposito fic.

This fic takes place 5 years after season 6 (when Sarah Grace is born) and is AU where Castle never disappears and they get married in the Hampton's, and Beckett isn't looking into being Captain of her on precinct/State senator.

Disclaimer- Castle and its characters belong to ABC and Andrew Marlowe.

Prologue

Kevin holds Sarah Grace in his arms, doing his best to split his attention on hushing her cries and acknowledging every 'I'm sorry for your loss' that is said by every person in the room.

At the moment there's a woman by his side, whom he didn't even know, crying, "It's a horrible thing that Jen was ripped from this world. She was a great friend, and I could only imagine an even greater wife and mother."

Kevin can only numbly agree, his beautiful wife was one of the best things that ever happened to him. She was torn away from him only three days ago, but it already feels like an eternity. "Thank you, ma'am, I'm sure she'd appreciate all your kind words."

He wants to get out of there; that small room filled with people that feel their lives were influenced by Jenny, if only for a moment. Sarah Grace's cries only grow louder with each passing second and Kevin wants nothing more than to cry along with her. But he refuses to break down in front of everyone.

"I'm Lily, I taught the class next to hers a few years back. Gosh," She clasps her hands over her heart, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Kevin gives a tight, forced smile, "Thank you, Lily." He tries to excuse himself from the conversation, but the woman doesn't seem to notice his upcoming break down.

"She was always the brightest in the kindergarten hall. Even on Mondays, she was a big ball of joy. I often envied all of her-" She is cut off by a voice just behind Kevin.

"Lily, why don't we give Kevin a moment to himself?" Javier.

During this entire ordeal, Beckett, Castle, and Javier were always right by his side whenever he needed someone. Sarah Grace would probably have still been in her clothes from last Thursday and starving if it hadn't been for his small, unofficial, family.

"Oh, of course. I apologize." Lily offers another sad smile before walking away to take a seat by the open casket.

Kevin turns around to see Javier, Castle and Beckett behind him. "Thanks, Javi. I just need to…use the restroom." He clears his throat after the obvious fib and turns to exit the room.

"Kevin," Castle calls softly before the Irishman could reach the doorway, "Do you want me to hold Sarah for a little while?"

Kevin looks down at the whining baby in his arms and shakes his head, bringing her closer to his chest. "No thank you, Castle." And with that he turns around and walks through the door to find an isolated spot. He finds a small, deserted hallway just behind the stairs and he leans against the wall, and immediately falls into a slouched position with Sarah cradled securely in his arms.

He finally lets his tears fall and the sobs out. "I don't know what to do, baby girl. I don't know what to do without your mother." Kevin's tears silence Sarah's as she watches her father, not old enough to understand why he is crying. "I can't do this alone."

A sudden presence next to him makes him want to jump up, wipe the tears from his eyes and deny any show of a breakdown, but seeing who it is keeps him in his spot.

Javier looks at his partner and says, "I know what you need to do. You need to let your family be there for you. We're going help you through this together. You won't be alone."

And that's exactly what he does.

I have 8,500 words currently written for this fic and I'm just starting. This will be a weekly updated story and I'm hoping for it to be a Maxificathon at 75,000+ words, but will definitely be at least 50,000.