Chapter 1

The screen fades in to show a shot of a remote island as dramatic music plays. You know what that means, it's time for some motherfuckin' Disney Survivor.

"20 characters. 39 days. One million dollars. Which one of these contestants will go on to win it all? Watch this season of Disney Survivor to find out!" Mickey Mouse's high-pitched squeal sounded over the unnecessary music. "You all know the history of the show. After the 666th season of regular Survivor ended, evil Disney magic killed all the humans in the world, and the show began anew with Disney characters."

Take a shot every time I say Disney.

"Be prepared for loads of fights, drama, and challenges, ho ho!" the mouse chuckled. "Let's go down to the beach where the players are arriving via helicopter."

We now get a view of a large helicopter making a landing on the sand near the ocean. The door on the side swings open, and the contestants begin to file out one by one.

"First, on the Bote tribe, we have Ariel, Ursula, the Mad Hatter, Abby, Kuzco, Mulan, Pooh, Agent Pleakly, Flynn Rider, and Hercules!" Mickey announces. "Now Pooh, are you prepared for eating a lot less food than usual?"

Pooh sighed. "Man, I just smoked a joint before we left the mainland, and I lost you after Mulan." He proceeded to collapse in the sand.

Mickey laughed, "Oh, Pooh, what a character! And now, on the Quru tribe, we have Aladdin, Princess Jasmine, Alice, Chicken Little, Yzma, Li Chang, Tigger, Agent Jumba, Rapunzel, and Megara. By the way, Rapunzel, I love the haircut!"

As the host continued to babble on, Flynn whispered to Hercules, "What is that octopus doing on the beach?" Ursula caught the comment and turned her menacing glare in Flynn's direction.

"Is everyone ready for the first reward challenge?" Mickey asked excitedly. Cheers arose from the players, along with a few groans from Pooh and Megara. "To start things off, one player from each tribe will face off at a time. The two players commence in a game of rock-paper-scissors. The losing player must then immediately run to the obstacle course we have set up here on the beach." The camera pans to a course consisting of monkey bars that must be swung across followed by a rock climbing wall. "The winning player must chase after the loser, trying to snag the flag tied around their waist. If the losing player makes it to the end without being caught, they score a point for their team. If the winning player catches the loser, they score a point for their team. The first team to five points wins a box of matches, some gasoline, and a VHS tape on how to make a fire. All the matches have been determined randomly. First up, we have Mulan from Bote against Alice from Quru." The players cheered the names of their representative, while Mulan and Alice stepped forward to the plate.

"Oh jeepers, try to go easy on me, okay?" Alice pleaded.

Mulan sneered at the young girl. "With pleasure."

"Alrighty then, rock paper scissors on the count of three." Mickey cried, "One, two…" Mulan's eyes darted towards Alice's. "Three!"

In a quick blur of motion, Alice had made a paper sign with her hand, Mulan held two fingers up, and Alice's flag was in her hands. Alice was speechless, "H-how did you-"

"That was fun. Let's play again sometime," Mulan commented snidely, as her tribe chanted her name.

"Ho ho, one point for Bote!" Mickey cheered, "Let's get on to the next round, shall we?"

The next few matches flew by, with Tigger easily taking down Kuzco, Rapunzel clobbering Ariel, and Li Chang making Pooh a laughing stock. No player had even started to run away before having their flag, and their hopes, snatched away from them, leaving Quru in the lead 3-1.

Mickey's squeal sounded as Li threw Pooh's flag in his face, "Wow, wasn't that an embarassment! The Bote tribe had better catch up soon, because Quru only needs two more points to win! Next up, we have Ursula from Bote versus Jasmine from Quru." Mickey was hoping for a turnaround, as domination by one tribe makes for bad ratings.

Ursula slithered up to the starting platform, leaving Jasmine shivering in fear. After Mickey counted to three, it was evident that Jasmine had won, but there was a huge problem for her, in the fact that Ursula's waist was far from easily accessible. "Oh, you poor little girl!" Ursula sneered, "This is going to be quite the challenge for you!" Ursula used her tentacles to effortlessly swing across the monkey bars, while pushing away her advancing foe. Jasmine had given up by the time Ursula reached the top of the course. Cries of confusion came from the other players, but the octopus woman had undoubtably finished victorious.

"Well, that was an…interesting victory," Mickey commented, considering whether or not that was a fair conclusion. "The producers request that you only compete in your…human form, like Ariel is," Mickey stuttered out.

"Very well," Ursula muttered.

Mickey regained his composure, "Um, alright, next up is Hercules from Bote and Jumba from Quru!"

The round went by quickly in Hercules' favor, and it began to seem like Bote had regained control after a victory from Pleakly over Yzma. The score now stood at 4-3 with Bote having the advantage.

"Things sure have turned around, haven't they?" Mickey chuckled. "This next match-up may be the last, so Flynn Rider from Bote and Aladdin from Quru, step up to the stage!" This was the kind of even match-up the crowd wanted, creating the perfect suspense in the audience and the players.

"Let's make this a fair fight, hmm?" Flynn remarked slyly.

"Whatever works for you, chico," Aladdin growled.

"Wait, since when are you Mexi-"

"Alright, on your marks, get set…" Mickey giggled, "Go!"

Everything after that happened in the blink of an eye. From the moment Aladdin realized that he had lost the game of rock paper scissors, he was onto the monkey bars in one leap, with Flynn Rider right on his tail. "This is the most heated round yet!" Mickey exclaimed, winning the award for most unnecessary comment of the day. Aladdin flew through the monkey bars one hand at a time, swinging his body to keep momentum and to keep Flynn from sneaking up behind him. Flynn was making an effort to stay as close as possible without being kicked in his man parts. After Aladdin was through with the first section of the course, it wasn't long before he was onto the rock climbing wall. Flynn Rider had missed every opportunity he had to snag the flag, and it seemed like he now had no chance. However, as Aladdin approached the top of the wall, he misjudged the distance between two rocks he was moving his left foot between, and his foot slipped. This gave Flynn, who had been sneaking up on the right side of Aladdin, the perfect change to swoop in and grab the flag, as Aladdin stumbled to the right. And in that moment, the game was finished.

Everyone from the Bote tribe cheered and lifted Flynn into the air, while Aladdin's tribe glared at him with menacing disappointment. "We have a winner, ho ho!" Mickey sounded like he was having an orgasm, "Congratulations to the Bote tribe, making a fire will not be a problem for you over these next few days! However, I can't say the same for you, members of Quru." Sad looks came over the faces of Chicken Little and Rapunzel, while some of the losing members were ashamed. "You now all have maps to your camps, where supplies and food await you." Cheesy, uplifting music began to play. "Make your friends, make your enemies, and keep the end of the game in mind. Whatever you do, don't make yourself a target. That's all the advice I have for you all, and I wish you the best of luck in these upcoming 39 days, ho ho!" Mickey addressed as he sent the players off to begin the game of a lifetime.