Harry Potter and the Really Bad Fanfic
-AUTHOR'S NOTE- Note: I normally, when not under the influence of sugar, do not write like this. This is to poke fun at all the fanfics about Harry Potter that have little or no grammar and no plot. So to all those terrible fanfics out there, this is for you. --
Harry Potter checked his watch, the Dursleys should have hit the freeway right about now. The house was dark and silent, like the air outside. Finally, he was alone. He jumped out of the covers that covered his miserable excuse for a bed, and crept towards the kitchen. The Dursleys may have not been there physically, but they had succeeded in leaving Harry with a paranoid mind. Despite the controlling power his favorite two words had on them, 'Sirius Black'. On his way downstairs, his eyes flashed to Dudley's room. The computer was still on.
Harry walked towards it, intent on turning it off. If the Dursleys caught him here, he'd be dead. If he didn't turn it off, the Dursleys would blame it on him. He rubbed his scar, it had been hurting last night. Voldemort was probably up to something, but the rumbling in his stomach drove that from his mind. Reaching towards the mouse, his eyes scanned the screen. Something seemed amiss. It was on a fanfic site. This was reading, something that Dudley despised.
Intent on finding out what his cousin was doing, he sat down on the chair. A small link blinked across the screen, this was no site that Dudley would ever create. His eyes squinted to read the fine writing, a link to 'Harry Potter and the Really Bad Fanfic'. Something was wrong. Definitely wrong. His name was on the screen. He might as well see what was there, little did he know the foolish act he had committed. Somewhere, Voldemort chuckled, the plan was going well. He flicked his wand onto his computer, to connect with Harry's. Too bad Harry never learned Internet Safety Rule #1, never click on a fanfic about yourself. - Harry screamed so loud that no one could hear him, the world was going darker and darker and then, he was on the Hogwarts Express. But something seemed amiss. He looked to Ron and Hermione, "Ron, Hermione! How did you get here?" Hermione blushed and giggled, "I thinks I want to join Quidditch Cheerleading. I like the skirts." Ron looked angry at her, and held her hand. "I love you, Hermi." Hermione started to cry, "But I love someone else." Her eyes fluttered in the direction of a trollish snake near the back, by the name of Draco.
At this point, Harry knew something was seriously disturbed. "Uh.is this a prank?" Draco and his cronies walked in, "I hate you Harry Potter. I am a rich kid, you are not. Yours parents is dead, and I will become the best Death Eater and rule the world." Crabbe and Goyle smiled to each other, and gave each other a hug in their joy. Harry whipped out his wand, "Stupefy!"
Nothing happened. Hermione pulled out hers, "Jello Attack-io!" A huge glob of that nasty purple jello spurted out of her wand and landed on Draco.
"Ah! Jello! It is eating my's eyes! It is sticky and purple!" He said this while running around in a circle, Crabbe and Goyle started to cry. Their hearts are broken.
Harry sat as far away from them as possible, things were really odd. Hermione piped up, "I am the smartest girl in school. And that is my smartest spell. I will graduate and you will marry me Draco, because I am pretty." Draco wiped off the last of the Jello, and grabbed the scruff of Harry's shirt.
"You are mean. I will punch you and hurt you badly. Then I will go to detention. Then I will take over the school, and curse everyone who is not cool. I am cool. Especially not Dumble-y-dore. If you were cool, like me. You would be cool."
Ron started to eat, shoving undescribable amounts of weird-looking food in his mouth.
"I love Mickey-D's. It is very high in cholestorol."
Harry glanced around, happy that they finally reached Hogwarts. His friends appeared to be mental, of course, that was normal for Ron, but not to this extent. Little did our scarred hero know as he entered the castle, the horrors that await..
-AUTHOR'S NOTE- Note: I normally, when not under the influence of sugar, do not write like this. This is to poke fun at all the fanfics about Harry Potter that have little or no grammar and no plot. So to all those terrible fanfics out there, this is for you. --
Harry Potter checked his watch, the Dursleys should have hit the freeway right about now. The house was dark and silent, like the air outside. Finally, he was alone. He jumped out of the covers that covered his miserable excuse for a bed, and crept towards the kitchen. The Dursleys may have not been there physically, but they had succeeded in leaving Harry with a paranoid mind. Despite the controlling power his favorite two words had on them, 'Sirius Black'. On his way downstairs, his eyes flashed to Dudley's room. The computer was still on.
Harry walked towards it, intent on turning it off. If the Dursleys caught him here, he'd be dead. If he didn't turn it off, the Dursleys would blame it on him. He rubbed his scar, it had been hurting last night. Voldemort was probably up to something, but the rumbling in his stomach drove that from his mind. Reaching towards the mouse, his eyes scanned the screen. Something seemed amiss. It was on a fanfic site. This was reading, something that Dudley despised.
Intent on finding out what his cousin was doing, he sat down on the chair. A small link blinked across the screen, this was no site that Dudley would ever create. His eyes squinted to read the fine writing, a link to 'Harry Potter and the Really Bad Fanfic'. Something was wrong. Definitely wrong. His name was on the screen. He might as well see what was there, little did he know the foolish act he had committed. Somewhere, Voldemort chuckled, the plan was going well. He flicked his wand onto his computer, to connect with Harry's. Too bad Harry never learned Internet Safety Rule #1, never click on a fanfic about yourself. - Harry screamed so loud that no one could hear him, the world was going darker and darker and then, he was on the Hogwarts Express. But something seemed amiss. He looked to Ron and Hermione, "Ron, Hermione! How did you get here?" Hermione blushed and giggled, "I thinks I want to join Quidditch Cheerleading. I like the skirts." Ron looked angry at her, and held her hand. "I love you, Hermi." Hermione started to cry, "But I love someone else." Her eyes fluttered in the direction of a trollish snake near the back, by the name of Draco.
At this point, Harry knew something was seriously disturbed. "Uh.is this a prank?" Draco and his cronies walked in, "I hate you Harry Potter. I am a rich kid, you are not. Yours parents is dead, and I will become the best Death Eater and rule the world." Crabbe and Goyle smiled to each other, and gave each other a hug in their joy. Harry whipped out his wand, "Stupefy!"
Nothing happened. Hermione pulled out hers, "Jello Attack-io!" A huge glob of that nasty purple jello spurted out of her wand and landed on Draco.
"Ah! Jello! It is eating my's eyes! It is sticky and purple!" He said this while running around in a circle, Crabbe and Goyle started to cry. Their hearts are broken.
Harry sat as far away from them as possible, things were really odd. Hermione piped up, "I am the smartest girl in school. And that is my smartest spell. I will graduate and you will marry me Draco, because I am pretty." Draco wiped off the last of the Jello, and grabbed the scruff of Harry's shirt.
"You are mean. I will punch you and hurt you badly. Then I will go to detention. Then I will take over the school, and curse everyone who is not cool. I am cool. Especially not Dumble-y-dore. If you were cool, like me. You would be cool."
Ron started to eat, shoving undescribable amounts of weird-looking food in his mouth.
"I love Mickey-D's. It is very high in cholestorol."
Harry glanced around, happy that they finally reached Hogwarts. His friends appeared to be mental, of course, that was normal for Ron, but not to this extent. Little did our scarred hero know as he entered the castle, the horrors that await..