a/n: Because this episode had things for me to expand on! They practically begged me. So here it is! Enjoy and let me know what you think :D
Disclaimer: I don't own Fringe.
Seeing Reason
Oh, God. Olivia's thoughts were whirring around relentlessly. She was in the car, but she didn't know if she'd be able to drive back to the lab without falling apart. It had been a mistake to come here. But no... It hadn't been a mistake, it just felt like one. She'd needed to hear what Nina had to say. She knew she did.
'I recognize the look in your eyes. I know that working together closely with someone can bring about... feelings. I'm fairly certain that you're not prepared to lose him. You didn't come here to ask me about a list you already knew I don't have. And you didn't come here to announce that you're going to tell Peter who he really is. You came here to have me talk you out of it.'
And she was right, at least in one statement. She wasn't ready to lose Peter. She doubted she would ever be ready. So Nina's words had been an awakening of sorts. They had also been a slap in the face. She had never confronted her real reasons for not wanting to tell Peter. While she'd insisted that she did, she knew she didn't. A part of her knew that telling him meant losing him. And that was the last thing she wanted.
Perhaps Nina had been right. And maybe she really had gone to Massive Dynamic to have her talk her out of it. She needed the excuse that it wasn't her decision to keep Peter in the dark. She knew that telling him was the right thing to do, but she didn't want to. Lord help her, she didn't want to. She wanted to keep him here. She just needed someone to tell her that it was okay. That telling Peter was a mistake she couldn't afford to make. Even if she wasn't aware of it, that's the real reason she'd gone to Nina.
She gripped the steering wheel tightly, more tightly than was called for, and exhaled deliberately. She hadn't been allowing herself to think of Peter any more than was absolutely necessary since Walter told her. She'd been distant. And she'd hated every second of it. She could see the confusion in his eyes, wondering why she was pulling away and it killed her. Now her mind was on Peter overload.
She swallowed and started the SUV. She turned the heat on, using it as an excuse to stay where she was. She didn't want to move the vehicle until she was certain she could operate it rationally without her thoughts affecting her. At this point, it seemed like she wouldn't be moving it any time soon.
Peter wasn't technically hers to keep, she argued with herself, if only half-heartedly. If she didn't tell him... But she had to. Didnt' she? She would never lie to him. Unless it was for his own good. Maybe... If she didn't tell him, he could stay her. He could be here and things would go back to the way they had been. After all, Nina had told her everything she needed to know. Everything she'd said was right. She couldn't lose Peter. Not now. Not ever.
He was hers and that was that.
Decision made, she eased out of her parking spot and headed back to the lab.
a/n: Welllll?