Hey all! SimplySupreme here! Welcome to the most fun I've had while writing in SO LONG! :)
Now, I know that I usually keep everything strictly IC in my stories, but I find that this would just be downright impossible in this instance. (You'll see.)
And I also know that this is just a fun way for me to get rid of writer's block, but I would really appreciate some feedback on this fun-loving tale! I reply to reviews on the bottom of this page, in a highly humorous manner (if I do say so myself). So please read, and please enjoy! :)
Eragon POV
Breathing pace rapidly increasing, Eragon stepped towards the glossy, enameled door, Arya following close behind. He had spent months trying to get to this point, and he could scarcely believe that he was actually here.
"Go on, Little One." Saphira's voice sounded soothingly in his head. "Speak your name."
Heaving a steadying breath, Eragon stared at what he knew to be the Vault of Souls. It was amusing to him really, that all this time, it had been hidden in the most obvious place imaginable: Helgrind. Who would have guessed that it had been known so very long ago as the Rock of Kuthian? It had been a great risk to take to fly with Saphira and Arya here, so soon before the Varden were to lay siege to Belatona, but how could one ignore the advise of a werecat?
A soft pressure announced itself in the center of his back. He looked, only to see Arya nudging him even closer to the handle-less door.
Turning back to face it, Eragon began slowly, "My name is Eragon Shadeslayer…"
SimplySupreme POV
SimplySupreme sat worryingly at her desk, face illuminated by the white glow of her computer screen. Now, this wasn't an unusual occurrence in and of itself, as she spent quite a bit of time lounging around her house and bonding with her MacBook Pro, but the fact that her fingers lay limp on the keyboard was. The dreadful fact of the matter? SimplySupreme was suffering from an extreme case of writer's block.
"It's time for you to go to bed!" SimplySupreme's mother called out from outside her bedroom door in a weary tone of voice, "Put away your laptop; you have school in the morning!"
With a light sigh, SimplySupreme called out in a classic teenage-girl manner, "Just a sec mom!"
"You had better hope that 'Just a sec' actually means a time span of under five minutes!" her mother retorted through the door, before walking away down the hall to lecture SimplySupreme's little brother for not brushing his teeth.
Grumbling incoherently, SimplySupreme made to shut her laptop, but then stopped. Slowly, she again raised the screen to face her. Something decidedly odd was happening to her blank Word document. It seemed to be fading entirely! And in it's place, an image was beginning to take shape…
Arya POV
Satisfaction swept over her as she heard the wood of the door groan in response to Eragon's words. But for a moment, nothing happened. Then, with a startled cry, Eragon leapt backwards into Arya, tumbling the pair of them to the ground as the door to the Vault of Souls was blasted open in a massive gust of wind.
"Get off Eragon!" Arya snapped crankily, shoving the boy to the side as she rose to her feet and dusted herself off with dignity.
Sheepishly, Eragon stood as well. "My apologies, Arya Svit-kona."
The elf responded with a noncommittal grunt, returning her attention to the vault. It was now open, but even with her fantastic elven eyesight, Arya could see nothing within but blackness. Hesitatingly, she crept closer, taking a firm hold on Eragon's wrist as she did so. The darkness was beginning to disperse, and a faint… something, was beginning to take shape.
SimplySupreme POV
Chocolate brown eyes widening in alarm, SimplySupreme gaped openly at her computer screen. Did she see… people in there?
Suddenly, the image grew tremendously in clarity, and as the girl leaned in closer in an attempt to view the image even better, she suddenly felt as if an invisible force within the machine was pulling at her. "What the…" she began, but was never able to finish, as her head was sucked into the vortex that had opened in the center of the laptop. In the fashion of a child slurping spaghetti noodles, SimplySupreme's short body began to disappear after her head at a fairly rapid pace. And in no time at all, the rogue author was gone.
All that remained of her in that bedroom was her laptop, which was humming lowly. It was opened into a Word document that had remained stubbornly blank for hours on end, but that now read; My name is Eragon Shadeslayer, the last free rider in all of Alagaesia.
Eragon POV
The rider gasped as something tumbled from the vault, cannoning into poor Arya, and knocking the elf to the ground for the second time in thirty seconds. Whatever it was, it was screaming something awful.
"Opfff!" Arya gasped as the breath whooshed from her, causing Eragon to wince in sympathy. Her fall looked and sounded as if it had hurt quite a bit.
The thing had stopped screaming, and was stirring feebly atop of the elf. With sudden strength, it raised its head, and Eragon realized that it wasn't a thing. It was a girl.
Said girl's mouth dropped open at the sight of him. "Oh… my… gawd…" she choked, appearing as if she were about to pass out.
Eragon simply stared at her blankly. She was perhaps the oddest-looking female that he had ever set eyes upon. Apparently human, her long brown hair was pulled back from her face into a single bunch on the back of her hair by a brightly colored band. Perhaps twenty more of these bands were lining her bare forearms. The girl didn't wear a dress, as had most of the human women that Eragon had encountered, and not even a tunic and leggings as Arya did. Instead, she wore long, blue pants of a rough material Eragon couldn't identify, and a small, bright yellow shirt that only came down to her waist in length, with sleeves that barely covered her shoulders. On her feet were shoes of the oddest kind. They consisted of charcoal grey cloth with stiffer white material on the bottoms and toes. Tied with white string, the came only to her ankles. But perhaps the oddest of all was her face, which bore bright splashes of color above her eyes that brought out the natural tawny hue of the iris, and oil much like Arya had worn on the night of the Blood-Oath Celebration, which elongated and curled her eyelashes.
"Mmmmfffffpphhhh!" came Arya's muffled protest from beneath the girl, shocking Eragon from his musings. Hastily, the girl heaved herself off of the unfortunate elf and stood, offering Arya her hand. With wide eyes and tense features, the elf woman took it, and used it to pull herself up. The three of them stood there, facing each other.
In his mind, Eragon could sense Saphira's fear and concern. "Do you need me to come in there, Little One?" she asked of him urgently, perfectly willing to claw her way through the solid rock of Helgrind to do so.
"I… I don't think so…" Eragon answered uncertainly, "But be ready for anything."
In the meantime, the strange girl had been scrutinizing the pair of them, her features becoming more and more jubilant by the moment as she did so. Finally, just as Eragon thought she couldn't have contained more energy and excitement, she burst out in a voice teetering on the brink of a squeal, "Eragon? Arya?"
Shocked and extremely wary, the beings in question glanced at each other, and then nodded.
This time, the girl really did squeal. She did so loudly and ear-splittingly. "OHMYGAWDIMUSTBEDREAMING! SOMEONEPINCHME, BECAUSE I AM TALKING TO ERAGON AND ARYAAAAAA!" Without any warning whatsoever, the girl, who Eragon was beginning to suspect was some sort of imp or minor devil, leapt forwards and took the both of them in what was possibly the most worshipful hug Eragon had ever experienced.
Utterly confounded, his eyes slid over to Arya, who wore an expression of complete confusion, much like his own. The girl was an anomaly greater than any either of them had ever encountered, and that was saying a whole heck of a lot…
SimplySupreme POV
SimplySupreme was in utter and complete heaven. Certainly, she was a bit upset that her computer had suddenly eaten her, but what had occurred after this event made the uncomfortable sensation of plunging into the screen all worthwhile. She was touching Eragon and Arya!
The thought alone made her want to squeal again.
But if these people really were Eragon and Arya… they probably had absolutely no idea how awesome they were, and absolutely no idea why a strange female was suddenly hugging them. Especially Arya. She just never seemed to be the hugging kind of person…
SimplySupreme released the pair hastily. They stood there, gaping at her, appearing slightly dazed. "Umm… let's see if I can remember this correctly," the girl muttered to herself, screwing her face up in extreme concentration. But then, inspiration seemed to come to her and she spoke up in a bubbly fashion, "Oh right! Atra esterni ono thelduin." She said politely, touching her lips in the elven fashion.
Judging by the expressions on Eragon and Arya's faces, she could have just punched them in the faces. "A-atra du evarinya o-ono varda." Arya finally stammered out, being the only one of the two capable of speech at the moment.
"Un atra mor'ranr lifa unin hjarta onr." SimplySupreme concluded happily, face stretching into a huge grin. "Goodness, I'm so glad I remembered how to say that!"
One could have heard crickets chirping if there had actually been any crickets deep within the recesses of Helgrind, but SimplySupreme was in no way miffed. She wouldn't have cared if Galbatorix himself had been present, trying to slice her to ribbons with his sword. She was in freaking Alagaesia! "Hey, Eragon, where are we?" she asked out of curiosity. She couldn't remember any dark rooms with mysterious doors being described in any of the books.
"The Vault of Souls." Replied the boy with a tremor in his voice that was quickly recovering. "Certainly you must know, for it was you who just came out of it!"
SimplySupreme shrugged. "Hey, don't ask me how I got here. And do you mean the Vault of Souls that Solembum told you about? Because that would be super-awesome!"
Eragon appeared as if she had just shattered reality in his face. In all fairness, perhaps she had.
"Hey, where's Saphira?" cried SimplySupreme suddenly, as if just remembering that a giant azure dragon should be present, but wasn't. "I really wanted to meet her, too! I've never met a dragon before. Or an elf for that matter." She nodded to Arya. "Honestly, you're just as pretty as I thought you'd be, if not more. And Eragon was right, you do smell nice!"
It was a wonder that Eragon and Arya didn't faint right then and there.
Arya POV
Whatever this girl was, she certainly wasn't normal. But then again, Arya admitted to herself, I'm not normal either. Yet at least Arya had the ability to remain silent. The child babbled aimlessly about, well… everything, for a solid half hour as they wove back through the tiny tunnel that had led them to the vault to where Saphira was waiting for them. And really, the depth of the child's knowledge was uncanny.
But Arya had had enough of the unnerving talk that so reminded her of Elva. "What are you called, child?" the elf woman asked suddenly of the girl, cutting her off mid-sentence.
The odd girl paused, deliberating. "Well…" she said hesitatingly, frowning slightly, "To you two, I'm known as SimplySupreme, but that's not any kind of real name now, is it?"
Arya blinked.
"No, no. That would never do." The girl muttered to herself. Another moment's silence, and she finally seemed to reach a decision. "I suppose you may call me by my nickname, Pie."
Raising her eyebrows, Arya was about to make a derisive comment when Eragon beat her to it. "Pie?" he repeated incredulously, "What kind of name is Pie?"
"What kind of name is Eragon?" Pie shot back irritably, "Your name is just as stupid as mine, so I would appreciate it if you would keep that sort of talk to yourself, or I'll tell Arya what Angela prophesized for you with the knucklebones."
Observing with interest Eragon's renewed pallor, Arya was just about to inquire of Pie just what she meant by this, when they abruptly stepped into glaring sunlight. They had reached the base of Helgrind.
Yet another agonizing squeal split the air as an excited Pie got her first glimpse of Saphira, who was standing, snarling, before them. But before the girl could attempt to give the dragon a hug, Saphira pounced, pinning the girl beneath one massive, heavily taloned, front paw.
"Who are you? How is it that you know so much about myself and my rider?" she demanded savagely, baring her terrifying fangs directly in Pie's face. Clearly, the dragon meant business.
But in answer to this, Pie, of all things, laughed. A high-pitched, incredibly annoying giggle burst from her mouth and increased in intensity until the girl was nearly crying. Arya watched in a mixture of mortification and amusement. What manner of creature wasn't afraid of a dragon? Clearly, Saphira had never encountered one.
"Oh, I'm so happy to have met you, Saphira!" Pie hooted, unfazed.
Arya shook her head in wonder. She had a feeling that she was going to like this girl.
Yes, my real-life nickname is, legit, Pie Girl. Don't laugh because you know you're jealous! *winks*
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