Author's note: This is just a one-shot Seiftis. I suddenly got inspired and thought about writing a song fic. I don't own the characters! Any similarities with other song fics or stories are purely coincidence. Thanks for reading! Please review.
We had the right love at the wrong time
Guess I always knew inside
I wouldn't have you for a long time
The events during the past three months still lingered on Quistis' mind. She wasn't sure why or how she lost the love of her life, but she just did. Never did she expect that Seifer would side with Ultimecia. She never expected that he would have a fling with Rinoa while they were together. She never expected that he would quit every hopes of him becoming a SeeD to side with the ultimate enemy - an evil sorceress from the future, and she never saw it coming, that he would give up that easily.
She took another sip of her bourbon and closed her eyes. Repeating the same scenario over and over. Her begging Seifer to stay in Balamb Garden, him turning his back and walking away from her, without a proper goodbye, he just gave up on them.
"Not getting drunk, are you Quistis?" A familiar voice asked
"Go away Squall" she replied while taking another sip.
"Rinoa broke up with me" he replied
"And that concerns me because?" she replied sarcastically
"Well, nothing really. I just wanted someone to listen" Squall responded. Helping himself to her bourbon and taking a sip himself.
"Then go talk to a wall" she replied.
"I guess I deserved that" he said.
"Well, Squall, I am fighting my own demons as well. I cannot handle another human being with emotional baggage. If you won't talk, you are welcome to join me in drunken silence" she responded.
It was out of her character to be so rude to one of her oldest friends, and for the man she used to love as a kid. But she didn't care. She was upset, trying to recover. And she is entitled to behaving like that. Sip after sip of bourbon, she started to feel dizzy. And she can see through her squinted eyes that Squall was becoming tipsy too.
"I'm going back to my quarters" she said.
"I'll walk you" Squall replied.
They walked in silence. As Quistis became more and more dizzy, Squall's scar made her remember Seifer. And made her long for him even more. As they reached Quistis' quarters, she bid good-bye to Squall and tried to kiss his cheek for courtesy, but he aimed for her lips.
Could this be true? Squall kissing her. She longed for someone showing her affection. She missed Seifer's kisses. She missed feeling passionate. And he probably was just drunk and heart broken, nevertheless, she could care less.
One thing lead to another, losing all control, they ended up in Quistis' bed, clothes on the floor and the rest was all a blur.
The next morning was spent in awkwardness. After realising the things they have done, Squall stormed off without a word. And Quistis was too numb to care. They never discussed the events that took place, it was an unspoken agreement. They went on with their routines and did their jobs. And made sure never to get drunk together again.
A month after, Quistis was feeling nauseated in the morning. Her period was delayed.
"Oh no, it couldn't be" she said to herself. After an hour in the toilet trying to throw up, and debating with herself whether or not to get a pregnancy kit, she then finally said "Fuck it" and went to the pharmacy.
She bought two, just in case. Peed on it and waited three minutes. After what seemed like forever, and praying that it would be negative, she took a peek.
"Oh. my. God." she said. The tests returned positive. She felt like her life was ending. 19 years old, ex-instructor who lost her job, the man of her dreams, and now pregnant with someone else's child due to a drunken hook-up. She felt her life getting destroyed.
"Squall, we need to talk" she said, practising on her bathroom mirror as to how to approach the younger man.
No, no, no. I cannot tell him this. But it is his child. He has the right to know" she thought to herself. After careful deliberation, she decided to stop caring and approached Squall.
"We have to talk. In private" she said to him.
The gunblader followed her in a silent corridor as he was curious of what she was going to say after one month of not speaking.
"Squall, I am pregnant" she said
"…" silence. As he didn't know how to react.
"I don't know if I am keeping it" she continued
"Are you crazy?" he asked
"We are not ready. We are not even dating. It was an irresponsible act and this is a mistake"
"The baby does not and should not have to suffer" Squall said
"And you don't think it will not suffer seeing it's parents separated? Or ending up in an orphanage like we did?"
"I can marry you"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" she exclaimed.
"So I don't get to have a decision in this?"
"Squall, this is my body. This is my decision"
"But that is my baby."
"We don't even love each other Squall"
"We have to learn from now on then"
"This is repulsive. One month ago you were mourning Rinoa. And now you want to marry me"
"Will Quistis Trepe come to the headmaster's office please?"
"We will continue this discussion later" Squall said
"There is nothing to discuss Squall"
"I will come find you" he replied decisively
At the headmaster's office…
"Oh, Quistis darling have a seat" Headmaster Cid motioned for her to sit on a chair opposite his table.
"I summoned you here to discuss your annual leave entitlement. Ever since you became a SeeD and an instructor, you never took an annual leave. You have been working for four years now. Every year you are entitled 7 weeks annual leave. So you need to have 28 weeks leave now. Otherwise, it will be forfeited. I know you love your job but —"
"No, it's perfect. I will be taking 14 weeks off. And the other 14 weeks, I will take it another time" she replied.
After that, she was asked to sign some documents to file an official annual leave. And then she was off.
As she returned to her quarters, she found Squall.
"I heard you are going for a break" he said
"News travels fast around here" she replied
"Quistis, my offer stands. Have a holiday. You deserve to clear your head. But don't make rash decisions. If you decide to terminate the pregnancy, I will support you. If not, then I will marry you" Squall said.
"But I don't want to marry you Squall. It is obvious that we love other people."
"Its to provide a family for the baby"
"I will think about it"
Quistis was overwhelmed about the offer. Had this happened when she was 18 and infatuated with Squall, she would have jumped at this opportunity. But she is older now, and realised who her one true love is. But she has to admit that it was really sweet and responsible of Squall to think about the baby. But she is just not ready for this commitment.
She packed her things as fast as she can, and booked a car service.
Those dreams of yours are shining on distant shores
And if they're calling you away
I have no right to make you stay
"Where to miss?" the driver asked
"Fisherman's horizon" she replied without thinking.
This was an impulsive decision. But she has to have fresh air, vitamin sea and sun.
Upon arriving at the FH Hotel, she booked her room and directly went upstairs to get changed. She chucked her SeeD uniform and boots and exchanged it with a white maxi dress, oversized hat and strappy sandals. As she took a brochure of the things to do to enjoy FH, she planned her day.
Okay, first, I will go to the beach and read a book. Time to relax today. I will go sight-seeing tomorrow
She went to the book store to buy a book. She chose "The Count of Monte Cristo" and proceeded to the beach. She laid out her towel and umbrella, laid on it and started reading.
She was relaxed. She could hear the waves of the sea, she had the sun on her pale skin, it was a perfect day for an introverted ex-teacher. Until she heard familiar voices at her back.
"Seifer, you've done well ya'know! We have too much food tonight!"
No way she thought
It was Raijin, Seifer's friend. Her heart raced. As she hid her face on her book and was trying to watch out in her peripheral vision any signs of her former lover. She was nervous, she didn't know how to react. She pretended to continue reading.
"I've always done well man. I've been feeding you and Fujin for the past three months, you both should already have found a job by now" Seifer replied.
Quistis felt her heart on her throat and her palms sweating. Oh, how she missed that voice. But she was so scared to meet him for the first time after their break-up that she continued to hide on her book, lying motionless.
She could feel that the voices were moving farther which means Seifer and Raijin have already advanced farther away from her. She breathed a sigh of relief as she was not prepared to meet him at her first day.
"Oh what am I doing" she said to herself as she chucked the book and started to think about her future, about the baby. About Squall and his marriage proposal
But it is so ridiculous. We are not together, we don't even love each other. I am not prepared for this kind of responsibility. But it's not the baby's fault that they were drunk and irresponsible enough to forget contraception. But still, the baby would suffer growing up with parents who don't love each other.
"Thinking about this makes me exhausted" she said to herself. Giving in to the temptation of delaying facing her problems.
Seifer.
She felt so good hearing his voice. She has been longing for it for months now. She wanted to talk to him. But why? What for? closure? Or say "Hi, I'm pregnant with Squall's baby", which doesn't feel right.
But somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
Feeling thirsty, she started to look for a coffee shop to order iced coffee or something. She was walking absent-mindedly just looking at the sand on her feet when she heard a voice call her
"Quistis?"
She looked up and found herself standing right across Seifer. Her blue eyes widened with shock. How could she not have been so careful?
"Hey" she greeted and started to walk, away from him. She had no control over her feet, it just lead her away from him. And he didn't stop her. He was just as dumbstruck as she is. Without anything planned to say, he let her go.
As she was trying to get over the shock that came over her upon being face-to-face with her former love, she forgot about the iced coffee and returned to her hotel room. She laid on the bed, slowly falling asleep.
A few hours after, she woke up from her deep slumber feeling hungry. She ordered room service and started to eat by herself. She switched on the television trying to find something interesting to watch but failing miserably. She doesn't even feel like doing anything. She switched off the television, and the sound of silence felt even more miserable. She looked at her clock, it was 10:00 in the evening and she has never felt more awake.
The confinement in her room made her feel claustrophobic. She doesn't have that particular phobia but today her brain decided to be irrational. And she decided that she needed some air.
She walked on the beach. The air on her hair and the sound of the waves brought her comfort. She walked farther from her hotel to find a secluded light house. It had a sign "Do not enter" but she couldn't care less. She was SeeD. She decided to enter and climbed up the stairs and looked out to what seemed like a never-ending body of water.
She contemplated as to what she was going to do with Squall and the baby. She was determined to lose the pregnancy but what if this baby could be the one to save her sanity? What if this baby made her feel complete and would keep her mind off from longing for Seifer. He was her past and this baby could be the future she hoped for. But she could not see Squall in the picture. She doesn't want him to be a part of this family. But what conflicts her is that she doesn't want to deprive the baby of the father figure it deserves.
"Excuse me miss, but this light house is off limits. You have to be escorted out"
A familiar voice said behind her. She froze in disbelief. She decided she could not keep doing this. She has to speak to Seifer to finally have her closure.
She turned around and said "Hello Seifer".
He was surprised to see her. But he managed to mouth "Quistis".
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours will come to see
That you belong with me
"How have you been Quistis?" he asked
"Surviving." She replied.
"Well, I never expected that the trespasser would be you so for you, I will make an exception" he said smiling.
His smile. His familiar towering frame. His scar. His green eyes. All of which Quistis have missed during the past months. He was the one she was longing for. All she wanted to do was to collapse in Seifer's arms. She was tired of feeling crappy. On top of that, she was carrying someone else's child.
"And how are you Seifer?" she asked
"Surviving" he said with a smile. Not the usual smirk he had across his face but a genuine smile. The smile he only had when looking at her
"You look good" she complimented.
"Nah, you look better" he responded. "May I?" he asked gesturing to move beside her to look out to the sea.
"Sure" she replied.
The next few minutes were spent in utter silence. She was dying to hold him, kiss him, and tell him she has been missing him. But how could she when she is pregnant with Squall's child and with a marriage proposal she has not answered to?
"I don't know if I am going to see you again, so I guess I will initiate the awkward talk starting with an apology" Seifer said breaking the silence. "I'm sorry for breaking up with you. It was the worst decision of my life. But I thought I am no good for you. I felt like I didn't deserve you" he continued.
Sometimes goodbyes are not forever
It doesn't matter if you're gone
I still believe in us together
"Did you love me still?" she asked
"What do you mean did? I still do" he responded with much conviction. "But I have brought embarrassment to you, to the Garden, to the Matron. I didn't feel worthy".
"SO YOU LEFT ME THINKING THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING I DID? OR DID NOT DO?" Quistis said, tears filling her azure eyes.
"I'm sorry Quis" he responded. "I felt that I had to redeem myself"
"And you destroyed me in the process" she responded. "I loved you. With all of me! And when you were gone I felt empty, I spent months longing for you!" She exclaimed, wiping her tears. "And now you are saying that!"
He held her face in his hands, wiping the tears away. He motioned closer, kissing her forehead. Quistis closed her eyes. Savouring this moment. His familiar touch, his soft lips on her bare skin. Which she believed would never happen again the moment she told him the truth.
"It was the hardest decision I have ever made. Leaving you behind. But I had to find myself. I had to be the Seifer you fell in love with. I had to be the man you will be proud of" He said
"And have you found him?" she asked
"Not quite. I'm still scarred with the ghosts of the things I did, of the people I killed."
I understand more than you think I can
You have to go out on your own
So you can find your way back home
"It was never your fault Seifer" she said.
"Yes it was and I have to face the consequences" he said. "But I still love you, very much" he proclaimed.
Without thinking, he cupped her face in his hands and aimed to kiss her. Despite wanting the kiss, Quistis pulled away.
"Seifer. I can't do this" she said
"Is there someone else?" he asked
"No. Well, yes. But no"
"What is it then?"
"I'm pregnant. And it's Squall's" she confessed.
"Damn it!" he whispered and punched the brick wall. He felt like such an idiot. He felt like a loser. Again, losing to his nemesis. He was at peace with the fact that Squall defeated him and took over the title of being the best gunblader in the world. But he could not bear the fact that even in love, he lost to Squall - again.
"It's not that Seifer." she explained. "It was one drunken and irresponsible night. I was drinking, and he was with me. He walked me back to my living quarters. I was so dizzy and saw his scar. Remembered you, and how I longed for you. It was so blurry" she continued.
"Does he know?" he asked
"Yes. And he asked me to marry him"
"Wow. Your childhood dream come true" he said
"I don't want to get married at 19. I don't want to have a child at 19!" she exclaimed
"What are you going to do? Terminate it?" he asked.
She could not answer. If she said yes, then she is free to be with him. But this is not the time to be selfish. This baby deserves a fighting chance to live in this world. The baby doesn't deserve to pay the consequences for the irresponsibility of his or her mother.
"I want to" she replied
"Then you disappoint me Trepe" he said.
And somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours will come to see
That you belong with me
"Listen to me" he said holding her face again. "The child, I think it will give you the happiness that Squall nor I can ever give you Quistis.". His green eyes filled with much sincerity. Seifer is a changed man. He was ever so selfless. Not the selfish bastard who broke her heart months ago. Which is why she thinks that this love is perfect.
"I can choose not to marry Squall and be with you instead" Quistis said, leaning her forehead towards Seifer's and touching his face too.
"You know I want to jump at that Quistis. But I have lived my life selfishly. And I am not depriving that child of the father she has to be with."
"I can tell Squall that I terminated the pregnancy" she said without letting him go
"Then we would be living a lie. Believe it or not, I love you so much. I want to kiss you right now. I know it will feel good. But I will not steal you away from the happy life you deserve"
"It won't be happy. Not without you" she responded. "But I guess I've made my bed, now I have to lay on it"
Letting go is just another way of saying I'll always love you so
We had the right love at the wrong time
Maybe we've only just begun
Maybe the best is yet to come.
"I will always love you, Quistis Trepe. It will forever be my greatest regret to let you go. But maybe this lifetime is not for us. I have loved you since we were kids, and I will love you until my last breath. But this love, as right as it may seem, is not at the right time. Whatever you decide to do, I will support you. But live a life that you will not regret, my love. I love you, always and forever". Seifer said.
Just like that, Quistis found the answer she was looking for. She knew what to do.
THE END.