"No."

"Draco, you –"

"I said no."

Severus Snape sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Seated in front of him, all white-blond and pale, was Draco Malfoy. They were at the small, dirty bar called The Leaky Cauldron. Two wizards were sitting at the bar in the middle of the room, one of them singing softly, the other swaying softly with his eyes closed as if he were dancing.

Snape looked down at Draco's hands, which were clutching his firewhiskey so tightly that it looked as if the glass might break.

"It's been two years since the war and your parent's disappearance. It's time you do something with yourself."

Draco's already pale face paled further and his nostrils flared.

"I'm over all of that." He spat.

Snape narrowed his eyes. He knew he really had no right to do this, but somebody needed to push Draco. Without that, he'd probably never get on with his life.

"Oh?" Snape said with a biting sarcasm, "I'm so sure. Of course you are, with how happy you look. And all the parties you go to, and all the lovers you've gone through. You definitely look like somebody who's over the war. You –"

"Okay, you've made your point." Draco gave Snape a scathing look. Snape nodded in return.

"So? What's your big plan?"

Snape tilted his head to the side before saying, "Is there anything you can think of that would make you happy? I'm only asking because it's good manners. You know I could find out for myself easily."

Draco worried his bottom lip between his teeth. Snape smiled slightly.

"C-couldn't you just use Legilimency?" Draco pleaded. He hated sounding so weak, but if Snape wanted him to say what he thought he wanted him to say, he'd have to pry it out of him.

Snape scrutinized Draco before shaking his head slowly.

"No…no, I think that if you say it out loud, admit it, it might be…"

"Healthier?" Draco sneered. "Since when did you care so much about how healthy my mind was, professor?"

Snape frowned and stirred his firewhiskey absently.

"Just tell me." He said after a moment of strained silence.

Draco blushed (a rare occurrence) and bit his lip again. Staring at his lap, he suddenly looked very vulnerable. Nothing like the Death Eater he was just years ago.

"It's…you're going to think I've gone mad, but…but the thing that keeps me, you know, is…"

He broke off, the expression on his face mortified.

"I won't laugh." Snape said gently, feeling as if he were talking to a young teenage girl.

Draco looked up, his eyes sparkling.

"Harry Potter."

He closed his eyes really tight and turned a deep shade of red. Snape's eyes widened.

"Harry Potter…?"

"I'm in love with Harry Potter!" Draco cried. He had red patches high on his cheekbones and his slate grey eyes sparked dangerously.

After a few minutes, when Draco's breathing evened out again, Snape spoke quietly.

"I can't say I'm not surprised."

Draco snarled a single "Hah!" and stood up to leave, dropping a Galleon next to his still full firewhiskey.

"Where do you think you're going?" Snape's eyes darkened.

"Home. Problem?" Draco snapped.

Snape grabbed Draco's forearm and yanked him back into the booth.

"I'm not done with you."

Draco rolled his eyes and said, "Okay, then. What now?"

Harry Potter was bored. The rest of the Order was away at some training camp, work was out for the week, and Ron and Hermione were on their honeymoon in the Bahamas.

All Harry had to do was sit in his flat and watch the flames in his fireplace lick the air.

That was, of course, until Severus Snape knocked on his door.

"Are you completely mad?" Harry exclaimed after Snape told him a ridiculous story about how Draco Malfoy loved and needed him. He was trying very hard not to laugh. Suddenly his mind was filled with a furiously blushing Malfoy shouting "I'm in love with Harry Potter!"

Harry gasped. "What the hell?"

Snape narrowed his eyes.

"Hogwarts professor or not, you will not speak that way around me."

Harry looked at him incredulously.

"Was that.."

"Draco? Obviously, Mr. Potter."

"No, I mean…was that true?"

Snape nodded and Harry's mind was filled again with a new image: Two gay lovers were kissing passionately in a dimly lit room.

Harry gasped again and blushed deeply.

"You've got to stop that." He said in a small voice. Snape smirked.

"Why are you showing me this?" Harry asked suddenly, "Did you think you could, I don't know, guilt me into shagging Malfoy? That's just sick…"

Snape was already shaking his head before Harry had finished.

"Not guilt, though it wouldn't be hard with your hero complex." Harry's eyes darkened and Snape continued. "No, I'm just…informing you of the place you hold in Draco's heart. I know things didn't work out with Ginny Weasley," Snape rolled his eyes when Harry blushed, "and I know you'll consider it."

Harry was quiet for a minute.

"How did you know I was…"

"Bent?"

Harry winced and turned a remarkable shade of red.

"Y-yeah!"

Snape laughed coldly.

"I know that you're horrible at Occlumency, but this is ridiculous. The sexual tension between you and Draco is palpable. And don't deny it," Snape said when Harry started to sputter, "or I'll put something you really don't want to see in your mind."

Harry quieted at once.

"So," Harry said after a few moments of awkward silence, "He loves me. What am I supposed to do?"

Snape seemed to consider this for a moment.

"Tomorrow night, pay a friendly visit to the Malfoy Manor. Draco will be all alone."

Harry nodded slowly and then stood to show Snape the door.

"And remember, Potter," Snape warned as he stepped outside, "I shall know if you don't show."

Harry inclined his head and closed the door. As soon as it shut, he slid to the floor.

"Oh, Merlin." He groaned.